DH not really on board with #3

So true atomic. My dh only wanted 2 but could have stopped at one. Later I find out from him that he can't stand the crying or really can't stand not being able to calm the baby himself (like a failure) and why did we have to have them so close together? And how they take up MY time and he wants to hang out without interruption, etc. and that he doesn't have or feel that same instinct or passion as women do with wanting or finding out about a pregnancy. however after dd3, he felt like he won a prize bc she is actually the only one as a baby who would go to him over me. He was just jealous all along ;-)

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Doesn't it seem like sometime the universe likes to toy with us, Anchor. :(

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Right?

It was actually the other way around with us. I wanted another... someday. I wanted to finish school and do this and that before we TTC'd again but DH has had baby fever for a couple years now. I kept putting it off, saying no, ect. Then one day it all changed for me. Suddenly, it didn't seem so awful to take a term or two off school for preg/first few months PP. I honestly don't know what the trigger was. I often think it was looking at all the cute baby clothes, esp the dresses... but we had looked at them many many times before without it changing my mind.

A reluctant DH is better than one dead set against it. A reluctant DH could come around, or maybe he won't but either way I think once baby is here, or maybe even on the way, he will soften to the idea.

My dh wanted three and he was very pleased when we reached that point, he did not want another one. I was the one who wanted one more. We debated over it for months and finally agreed one more and that's it. Now that we are pregnant he is ecstatic, I was the one who had to tell him to calm down the excitement till we reached the second trimester. Perhaps you're husband is a bit like mine where it's "yeah, yeah, no thanks" but when it's in the making he's definitely on board, kind of like there's no middle ground. Good luck, if we managed to figure it out you guys definitely will :)

I always wanted 2 or 3 children and DH 1 or max 2. When we had our DS1 DH said he thinks he doesn't want anymore. I was devastated. DS1 was quite difficult baby and I think that put him off. We had many talks about having a second and finally he agreed. We had DS2. I didn't realize how strong desire for a DD I had until I had DS2. I thought DH would never agree having a third child but he saw how much I wanted to try for a girl and he finally agreed. It wasn't easy decision for him and I feel sometimes guilty for that. He really does it for me. He would be happy with our two boys. I started LE 5 weeks ago and we are having first attempt end of September. DH is on board with swaying and is doing things that helps us sway girl. I know he's not really excited having third. He always worries about everything like financies, do we have enough room for three kids, are we going to have any time for ourselves etc.

My husband is like Atomic's and would probably have zero children at this point if both our boys weren't oopsies! He's an attorney and comes from an upper class family on the east coast and NONE of his friends from back home (also all in high paying, high stress careers) have ANY children yet (he's 33 years old)! Like everyone else here in Los Angeles and back home, he'd wait till he was 40 to have kids (we had DS1 when we were 21 and 22). Every time I've gotten pregnant, including this last time when I ended up miscarrying, he's been extremely angry about it for weeks. After my miscarriage he started using the pull out method, condoms, and even went for a vasectomy consultation since I told him I was not getting back on the pill. So my chances of getting pregnant again are pretty slim. I'd love to have a DH who is one board and willing to TTC, but sadly that is not the case. You are lucky that your DH is at least willing to try even though he's not enthusiastic. My third pregnancy was planned on my part, as I knew DH would eventually come around, but I never in a million years thought I'd have a miscarriage and after that pretty much all chances of getting pregnant again were crushed. DH will never come around no matter how much we talk about it. We can afford it, have a big enough car and house, etc but he just doesn't want any more kids. But here I am, still swaying lightly, hoping that one lone sperm makes it through even with the pull out method. My boys were both oopsies, so I won't stop swaying if there's even a tiny tiny chance. I'm sure your husband will come around eventually, so I'd just go ahead and TTC while he's still willing to go along with it.

My husband is like this. He's ok with us TTC but he would be happy to be done.
I now see that in lucky though. My husband loves me enough to have one more kid, just because he knows how much I want it.
He was never around kids growing up, so even with 2 sons, he freaks out, and can't handle ANY whining. It's kind of funny in a way, cause he's so patient with EVERYTHING, but kids drive him insane hahahha

But I agree most guys are not super into having kids. They love their kids once they're here, but most don't go through that intense baby fever and heartbreak over having kids like we do.

I think my husband is also on board only because he is really hopeful we will finally get out baby girl.


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Same wid me. My dh is happy with two ds but i m getting a baby fever since last yr

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Originally Posted by Twobluebuttons

My husband is like this. He's ok with us TTC but he would be happy to be done.
I now see that in lucky though. My husband loves me enough to have one more kid, just because he knows how much I want it.
He was never around kids growing up, so even with 2 sons, he freaks out, and can't handle ANY whining. It's kind of funny in a way, cause he's so patient with EVERYTHING, but kids drive him insane hahahha

But I agree most guys are not super into having kids. They love their kids once they're here, but most don't go through that intense baby fever and heartbreak over having kids like we do.

I think my husband is also on board only because he is really hopeful we will finally get out baby girl.


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:agree: the sound of children playing is like fingernails on a chalkboard to my husband. He would say it isn't the case but I can tell it bothers him. not anything obnoxious, just laughing and playing. He'll actually get up and shut the window instead of listening to it. :/

He also wasn't around any kids at all growing up. No younger siblings or cousins, his sister and he are only 18 months apart so he never even experienced it in his own family.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

:agree: the sound of children playing is like fingernails on a chalkboard to my husband. He would say it isn't the case but I can tell it bothers him. not anything obnoxious, just laughing and playing. He'll actually get up and shut the window instead of listening to it. :/

He also wasn't around any kids at all growing up. No younger siblings or cousins, his sister and he are only 18 months apart so he never even experienced it in his own family.

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I seriously feel like it's the lack of contact with babies/kids.
My husband had like 3-4 cousins and none lived near him. He's the youngest of his siblings.
First time he held a baby was at like 25 and he looked like he was petrified lol


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