Did you keep it to yourself or tell?

So sorry Foxclub :( It's just not fair.....

Well my scan today showed what we expected - no heartbeat, no growth. It also showed that the other parts (placenta etc) are powering on and giving me high and rising hcg levels, so it is not going to come out by itself. I am in the process of booking a D & C - just wish my 2 Dr's were both not away at the moment!! So I have to choose someone new :/

My FS and her sonographer said that I can ttc straight after and that I don't have to wait (unless there are any complications with the surgery) so that was a relief.

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts, I think I will tell a friend or two. We were not telling anyone about the pregnancy until after 12 weeks so at least I don't have to call back people with bad news etc, but still, saying it out aloud for the first time is going to be hard! :sadflwr:

Hugs. I am so sorry.

Word to the wise... clear your schedule for at least a week of you can. I was in so much pain after mine I thought something was wrong. Doc said I was overdoing it and practically put me on bedrest. Your experience may be completely diff but better to prepare for the worst and be pleasantly surprised than to not and be sorely mistaken. Also, most of my pain was in my back and a heating pad was a big help. The rest of the pain was cramping (which is what got bad when I overdid it) and just a general raw feeling. Prayers for a quick recovery and peace in this painful time. Hugs!

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Originally Posted by Foxcubblue

Hi immi, I just found out today that I have lost our baby (7 weeks). I haven't had the strength yet to tell anyone on the phone, but I have sent messages to everyone who knew we were pregnant (family and close friends) and have received some lovely message of support. It helps me not to have it bottled up and also to feel the love and support coming in. A couple of friends have also opened up and told me about past miscarriages which I think has helped both me (not so scary knowing what is to come) and probably also them.

I think for me it also helps that people know I am not ok at the mo, so I don't have to worry about them wondering why I'm not returning calls / cancelling get togethers etc.

Big hugs to you. This is such a horrible time. :hugs:

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Foxclubblue this just breaks my heart first Immi and now you.... there are no words. I remember you both from the June 2ww and cannot believe you's are going through this :( My sincerest condolences to you both and I just dont know what else to say... so so sorry :(

Thank you Pbn xx
I am still not believing that this is happening - I have never even thought of miscarriages....
I am hoping to be back in the game very soon, so maybe I will see you in a 2ww - although I'm hoping this is your BFP month :highfive:

I told the barest handful and I found them to be almost universally unsupportive and felt regretful I had mentioned it as I ended up feeling worse.

I don't think husbands are "programmed" to know what to do in this scenario, unfortunately. Mine was also not helpful and told me I hadn't really lost a "baby" because it was too early. :/ It was to me! I still think of that baby.

I wish I did have the wisdom to know what to say - just know you are not alone. Hugest (((((hugs))))))!!!!!!

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Originally Posted by twointow83

Hugs. I am so sorry.

Word to the wise... clear your schedule for at least a week of you can. I was in so much pain after mine I thought something was wrong. Doc said I was overdoing it and practically put me on bedrest. Your experience may be completely diff but better to prepare for the worst and be pleasantly surprised than to not and be sorely mistaken. Also, most of my pain was in my back and a heating pad was a big help. The rest of the pain was cramping (which is what got bad when I overdid it) and just a general raw feeling. Prayers for a quick recovery and peace in this painful time. Hugs!

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:agree: also bled quite a lot after my 2nd one,which was very easy all things considered. Some people breeze thru it and others don't. Praying and hoping that it is as easy as is possible.

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Originally Posted by ImmiNAddi

Thank you ladies xx
My best friend is wonderful (and even a counsellor) but I think it is the 'saying it out aloud' part that is scaring me....
My mum and I are not that close and she is a little insensitive when it comes to things like this, so I might not let her know just yet....

Ash, I am going alone to the scan, which I am ok with, as I find it better to be by myself in situations like this (same as all of my HT cycle scans/appointments etc, I was by myself).

I think when I get some time alone on the phone with my bestie I will let her know, she hasn't been through it herself, but has had sisters and other friends who have.

Thank you again xx

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:agree: me too I honestly think I feel better doing it on my own. That way I can process things in absentia of other's opinions and expectations. I am thinking of you though. (((hugs)))

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Originally Posted by Foxcubblue

Hi immi, I just found out today that I have lost our baby (7 weeks). I haven't had the strength yet to tell anyone on the phone, but I have sent messages to everyone who knew we were pregnant (family and close friends) and have received some lovely message of support. It helps me not to have it bottled up and also to feel the love and support coming in. A couple of friends have also opened up and told me about past miscarriages which I think has helped both me (not so scary knowing what is to come) and probably also them.

I think for me it also helps that people know I am not ok at the mo, so I don't have to worry about them wondering why I'm not returning calls / cancelling get togethers etc.

Big hugs to you. This is such a horrible time. :hugs:

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I"m so sorry FCB!! Let me know if I can help.

Oh I am so sorry to hear your loss, I have come on just to see how you are going! I didn't tell my friends for my first one (DH told his boss and friend as left work at lunch and told a few friends so it wasn't a secret as such) but it came out when I lost my second with my besties as we were going out for Xmas drinks and got emotional and drunk! I don't think I told my mum about either actually but did tell her about my HT attempts.
I was looking forward to a Dec baby after US and coming so close, I have had four due dates in my head that never eventuated!
i hope u are ok, you have us forum friends to help u get through as well xx

Im so sorry Immi [emoji174]
Everyone grieves differently, but I truly found sharing that grief with someone to be comforting, even if it was hard and painful to explain and talk about.
My heart goes out to you hun.


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