Why is it that most of us want GIRLS?

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Originally Posted by Wantanother2017

Yes, I totally agree. I completely avoid my SIL after she got pregnant the month after I delivered my son with a girl. For the first few months of her pregnancy before she knew the gender she would constantly send me text messages with pics of ugly boy clothes and make comments like "ugh, please don't let this be me, etc.." Of course she had a girl.
She even has the nerve to complain to me about the selection of girl clothing. I unfollow her on FB and avoid her altogether.
(She is truly a terrible person on top of all the insensitive gender comments so I don't miss out on too much)

In a gym class the other day a group of women were discussing the issue of GD actually, as one of the women was due to give birth any day to her 3rd boy. Two of the other women also had 3 boys and were commiserating in how hard never having a daughter still is for them. My friend who has 1 child, a daughter, chimed in with a huge grin on her face "at least you don't have to spend so much $$ on ALL the adorable clothes and dance classes!"
I wanted to scream. I couldn't imagine being so clueless even if I were on the other side. I sometimes feel as though they do it on purpose just to rub it in. Or maybe I'm just oversensitive.

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I think some people are emotionally stunted. I have come across many smart people who have a complete inability to empathize... It never fails to amaze/shock/annoy me.

I remember standing around at a birthday party once and there was a mum who had just had her third baby boy. She opened up to me about wanting to try HT which I thought was very brave considering how negatively some people respond to it. Anyway another mum caught the tail end of our conversation (she has a DS and then had a DD) and said "Omg did you just DIE when you found out you were having a third boy??? I would have wanted to kill myself hahahahaha there is only so much stinky dirty boy stuff I can deal with"...... You could have heard a pin drop. What the actual f*? As IF you say that? This is why GD can feel so much worse, it's the idiots you have to deal with on a daily basis.

Then the poor mum.of 3 boys had to try and tell this woman that no, she was actually very happy to have 3 boys etc. How awful.

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Originally Posted by familymatters

I think some people are emotionally stunted. I have come across many smart people who have a complete inability to empathize... It never fails to amaze/shock/annoy me.

I remember standing around at a birthday party once and there was a mum who had just had her third baby boy. She opened up to me about wanting to try HT which I thought was very brave considering how negatively some people respond to it. Anyway another mum caught the tail end of our conversation (she has a DS and then had a DD) and said "Omg did you just DIE when you found out you were having a third boy??? I would have wanted to kill myself hahahahaha there is only so much stinky dirty boy stuff I can deal with"...... You could have heard a pin drop. What the actual f*? As IF you say that? This is why GD can feel so much worse, it's the idiots you have to deal with on a daily basis.

Then the poor mum.of 3 boys had to try and tell this woman that no, she was actually very happy to have 3 boys etc. How awful.

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Wow...I am starting to become more vocal myself about this kind of garbage being said.

My heart breaks for anyone who doesn't get their desired gender and how delicate of a subject this is whether you want a boy or girl. People are so careless and 'unintentionally' hurtful.

Just want to share the other side to this. I have also noticed many woman on these boards wanting girls but I strongly desire another boy! My husband seriously could careless (which is so helpful when dealing with GD...not).

I have 4 kids, and we had our 3rd girl in October and I wanted another boy so badly. My older son is from a previous relationship but we are not open about this (my husband has been there from the beginning)... So, people just seriously don't understand. In addition, my sister who is 4 years older... doesn't have kids yet, but, wants just one... so, overall I have to keep my desires to myself. It gets pretty awful, guilty, and lonely... when I should just feel blessed. :/ The hardest part of having swaying for a boy and now being a 'girl mom' has been reading that it's because boys are born to more physically fit woman with better nutrition or better fertility with husbands that have great sperm counts... That's the killer!

Every woman should have the opportunity to have their desired gender! If you are swaying for your girl, I am sending you ALL OF MY PINK DUST!

PS, I feel like I work very hard not to favor my son over the girls or vise a versa. I try to be conscious of this all the time!

Hi bre , .... You can have all my blue dust xx
Hugs

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Originally Posted by Wantanother2017

Wow...I am starting to become more vocal myself about this kind of garbage being said.

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I am as well and actually have some pretty vicious comebacks at the ready that I've thankfully never actually had to use. Nothing negative about girls or comparing genders, just to make the person feel like a terrible human being and hooefully make them think about what they said. I'm 1000% stronger then I was when I got the worst of the comments, but it can be so hard when you are trying to process your own GD. Still, I don't think people should be excused from making those comments. If they really don't know any better maybe they need to be told so they stop.

OP I feel this way too. In fact I LOVE reading the posts on here about women who really want a boy - makes me feel better. My mother-in-law wanted a girl so badly that she dressed my husband in pink when he was born. Yeah, she is a little bit crazy. She did have my sister-in-law after my husband. And he is, miles away, her favorite. She often tells me what a heartache her daughter has been (like I said...she is kind of nuts...) and what a dream her son has been. Even my sister-in-law half laughs/is half disgusted about the fact that her brother is clearly #1 for their mom. Interesting stuff.

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Originally Posted by familymatters

I think some people are emotionally stunted. I have come across many smart people who have a complete inability to empathize... It never fails to amaze/shock/annoy me.

I remember standing around at a birthday party once and there was a mum who had just had her third baby boy. She opened up to me about wanting to try HT which I thought was very brave considering how negatively some people respond to it. Anyway another mum caught the tail end of our conversation (she has a DS and then had a DD) and said "Omg did you just DIE when you found out you were having a third boy??? I would have wanted to kill myself hahahahaha there is only so much stinky dirty boy stuff I can deal with"...... You could have heard a pin drop. What the actual f*? As IF you say that? This is why GD can feel so much worse, it's the idiots you have to deal with on a daily basis.

Then the poor mum.of 3 boys had to try and tell this woman that no, she was actually very happy to have 3 boys etc. How awful.

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Wow, a comment like that could really send someone over the edge if they were dealing with any kind of depression like post partum, GD or even sleep deprivation. She was basically saying the woman is better off dead which is just cruel and an outright lie but like I said, if you were already in a difficult place you might believe it. What a terrible, heartless, irresponsible thing to say!

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Originally Posted by bre_cooper11

My heart breaks for anyone who doesn't get their desired gender and how delicate of a subject this is whether you want a boy or girl. People are so careless and 'unintentionally' hurtful.

Just want to share the other side to this. I have also noticed many woman on these boards wanting girls but I strongly desire another boy! My husband seriously could careless (which is so helpful when dealing with GD...not).

I have 4 kids, and we had our 3rd girl in October and I wanted another boy so badly. My older son is from a previous relationship but we are not open about this (my husband has been there from the beginning)... So, people just seriously don't understand. In addition, my sister who is 4 years older... doesn't have kids yet, but, wants just one... so, overall I have to keep my desires to myself. It gets pretty awful, guilty, and lonely... when I should just feel blessed. :/ The hardest part of having swaying for a boy and now being a 'girl mom' has been reading that it's because boys are born to more physically fit woman with better nutrition or better fertility with husbands that have great sperm counts... That's the killer!

Every woman should have the opportunity to have their desired gender! If you are swaying for your girl, I am sending you ALL OF MY PINK DUST!

PS, I feel like I work very hard not to favor my son over the girls or vise a versa. I try to be conscious of this all the time!

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I admit, those theories about boy moms supposedly being more fertile or healthier or whatever they claim, do make me feel better and more confident as a "boy mom." I never thought how they might make girl moms feel. But there are also theories that beautiful women who are good at everything have more girls!
I think this was the case for my grandmother who had 3 daughters.

I think we have to take these studies with a grain of salt. It helps with information for swaying though, so that's a plus. I hope you get your dream baby boy and I send you all my blue dust!

My sister (who has 4 boys, 0 girls) explained to me after I found out the gender of my son, "having boys means while all your girl friends and their daughters are making cookies together, coloring quietly and doing the things YOU are actually interested in, instead you will be pretending to be thrilled with the snake they just found in the yard and brought in to show you, and tons of yelling and rough housing, etc"...
I tried not to cry. She would know, she has 4! That comment has echoed in my head over and over and certainly didn't help my severe GD. She didn't know I was struggling at the time.


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Four kids is a lot. I doubt anyone with four kids avoids yelling and rough housing. Also if you end up with a boy and a girl, especially in that order, there will be fighting, yelling and rough housing.

I also think boys are quite capable of sitting quietly and coloring or baking cookies. I think these are just stereotypes. Not saying it's not true in your sisters house though.