I'm sure part of my difficulty this time too is that she's due only 6 days after my DS3 was born. He died when he was 15 weeks old. With her DD1, she was induced 2 weeks early (I have no idea why) and gave birth the day after DS4's birthday. She tried really hard to have her DD on the same day as my DS4. I think she's going to try to get induced on my DS3's birthday. If she does that, I don't think I'll be able to speak to them anymore. I don't think she is capable of understanding the depth of my sadness and possessiveness of that day. It would be like she was trying to say that DS3 never existed or that her DC is more important. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm praying that she doesn't do that. That somewhere inside of her is some compassion for me. Sadly, I don't think she has any. :(

