Originally Posted by
ksmom
I'm so sorry you've been feeling down Bee. :( I always assumed as well that I would have at least one of each. I've been dreaming of having a daughter since I was little really. Idk why I thought I'd have one of each because I certainly new it's possible to have all one gender! It just sucks that it seems like those who don't care what gender they have, always end up with one of each. I was supposed to be in the due date group you were in on here but that was an early loss. I've always wondered what gender that baby would have been (along with the other two I lost). I see so many successful pink sways here and it tempts me so much to give it another try but I know I could not handle hearing boy again as we only plan to have four kids.
I'm sorry you're struggling with PPD. Have you sought help? I don't have depression but like you I am very overwhelmed with my three right now simply because of their ages (5, 3, and 3 mo) and because DH works so much that I'm on my own with no one else to help out. I said the same thing to DH that you said about not being able to accept not having a daughter. I told him that during my pregnancy with DS3 and since then we've talked about HT or adoption. I don't know which is the right choice. I feel selfish for even wanting to spend that much in the first place and I worry my boys will think they weren't enough for me. I also don't know how I'd cope with another child. I'd need to wait until my boys are out of the toddler and baby phase.
Thank you for being so honest about your feelings, I really appreciate it. :) Even though I hate seeing other people suffer from GD, it's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Btw, the friend I posted about originally, she ended up announcing she's having her third boy.
Part of me is relieved but then the other part of me wonders if she, like me, desperately wanted a girl but kept quiet about it. I hate GD and wish that no one ever had to go through it.