Heartbroken

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Oh no I'm so sorry to read this.

You do NOT need to wait 3 months. It is fine if you want to, but that is not supported as necessary by any medical facts if the loss was straightforward.

If you want to TTC sooner, then just pick it up from where you were and try to catch the first egg. if you want to wait the 3 months, you'll need to go easier on diet and exercise and pace yourself over time so you don't end up losing too much weight.

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Thank you so much atomic. I feel like I want to wait the three months, mostly because I don’t think I’ll be ready emotionally enough for this next cycle, and then the two after that will have Due dates in either nov/dec and those were two months I didn’t want to be due in, just because of birthdays/holidays and what not.
Would I still have to go easy on diet/excersizing if I still have a bit of weight to lose? I gained some weight these past weeks on top of still having about 30 lbs to where I would have ideally liked to have been. As I’m still not at a “normal” weight.
Would you think waiting the 3 months before ttc again would sway boy? I found out Friday that I was not as far along as I thought, only 2-3 weeks, and while I know sadly later losses sway pink or could sway pink I feel like I was so early it probably makes no difference?

I’m so so sorry. I can’t imagine. Take the time you need to heal, I’ll be thinking of you.


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So sorry for your loss. I dont think it matters how soon or how much you wait in order for you to sway. Just take it day by day and whenever you feel ready that is up to you. Waiting the 3 months that your doctor said is a good choice since it gives your body time and lets you track you periods and ovulation. So you can be able to sway. But it also gives you time to prepare yourself emotionally. I dont think none of us can go against what your doctor advised you. But then again that is completely up to you to when you want to try again.

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Originally Posted by Prayingforagirl67

Thank you so much atomic. I feel like I want to wait the three months, mostly because I don’t think I’ll be ready emotionally enough for this next cycle, and then the two after that will have Due dates in either nov/dec and those were two months I didn’t want to be due in, just because of birthdays/holidays and what not.
Would I still have to go easy on diet/excersizing if I still have a bit of weight to lose? I gained some weight these past weeks on top of still having about 30 lbs to where I would have ideally liked to have been. As I’m still not at a “normal” weight.
Would you think waiting the 3 months before ttc again would sway boy? I found out Friday that I was not as far along as I thought, only 2-3 weeks, and while I know sadly later losses sway pink or could sway pink I feel like I was so early it probably makes no difference?

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No, I don't think it sways blue, it is that most women are desperate to try again and there is hardly ever a compelling medical reason to wait. There is especially not a reason to wait 3 months being 2-3 weeks along. The vast majority of doctors would agree with me. There used to be a strong "women are hysterical" thread in medical advice and so doctors had women wait because they were perceived to be mentally unbalanced after suffering a loss but it's not true that you need to wait that long after an early, uncomplicated loss and like I said, many women feel better trying. If you are not in that category, that is totally cool, follow your heart, it's just that I don't want you operating on bad/outdated info when making a decision.

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Originally Posted by Momma bear 4

So sorry for your loss. I dont think it matters how soon or how much you wait in order for you to sway. Just take it day by day and whenever you feel ready that is up to you. Waiting the 3 months that your doctor said is a good choice since it gives your body time and lets you track you periods and ovulation. So you can be able to sway. But it also gives you time to prepare yourself emotionally. I dont think none of us can go against what your doctor advised you. But then again that is completely up to you to when you want to try again.

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Please stop picking fights with me. I don't know what your problem is but I am here to help people and I would really appreciate it if you stop undermining what I am telling people particularly in a loss-related thread where us having a quibble is really bad form since it should really be about the original poster and her needs. If you would like to start your own site where you can advise people in whatever manner you would like, please be my guest.

I absolutely CAN tell people to go against what their doctors have said when what their doctors have said is wrong. Doctors give out bad information sometimes. The vast majority of all experts (and I am not talking about me, I'm talking about doctors, fertility experts, and so on) would not ever recommend waiting 3 months after an uncomplicated loss of a pregnancy that was 2-3 weeks along. It's old outdated advice based on the concept that all women are mentally unhinged and incapable of running their own lives, and very few doctors are doing things that way any more (honestly, many doctors are having people try sooner than I feel comfortable with, especially after a D and C.)

Lots of women really, really want to try after having a loss. They feel it will be emotionally healing to them to do that. I follow the best guidelines I can based not on my personal moods or whims but on studies and what most people's doctors are telling them to do. I help so many women that I have witnessed firsthand the recommendations of doctors around the world and very few (like practically NONE) are having women wait 3 months for an uncomplicated early loss. Just isn't done.

I don't know what your issue is the last 2 days but while I am always happy to debate, discuss, explain, and provide data to back up the stuff I say. But I will not waste my time doing that for someone who has a snotty tone and a condescending air and is acting like I am giving out bad information to people when the fact of the matter is I turn myself upside down and inside out to bring people the best info for health, safety, and swaying and have for many years. If you dislike this site, here are plenty of other sites on which you can talk about your opinion on coffee and when to try after a loss all you'd like to but I don't have to put up with it (and I won't.)

Thank you so much greydore. I appreciate it!

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

No, I don't think it sways blue, it is that most women are desperate to try again and there is hardly ever a compelling medical reason to wait. There is especially not a reason to wait 3 months being 2-3 weeks along. The vast majority of doctors would agree with me. There used to be a strong "women are hysterical" thread in medical advice and so doctors had women wait because they were perceived to be mentally unbalanced after suffering a loss but it's not true that you need to wait that long after an early, uncomplicated loss and like I said, many women feel better trying. If you are not in that category, that is totally cool, follow your heart, it's just that I don't want you operating on bad/outdated info when making a decision.

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I believe I read that somewhere,about women being unstable to try again. everything I’ve been reading online says it’s usually better to try earlier. I have a lot of concerns, mostly pertaining to my sway prior to my bfp as well as during the short time I was pregnant. Before my bfp Diet was a little wishy washy, and excersize was also pretty much non existent. Then for the short amount of time that I was pregnant I was on a very blue friendly diet. So I feel like from Christmas on, I was just not on my A game for my sway. I’m definitely torn because I’m finding myself wanting to try this next cycle but feeling like I kind of ruined my sway. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks that I’m so not wanting to wait the three months, but definitely do not want to be due in November. I’m just feeling torn. We were so excited to be having a September baby, we felt it was perfect timing. I think if it ends up when the next egg drops that I’d be due in October I’d be ok with trying again. I just really hope the month or so off of my sway won’t be of any concern.
Thank you again for your advice atomic, I do really appreciate it!

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Originally Posted by Prayingforagirl67

I suffered a miscarriage yesterday and heartbroken doesn’t begin to describe how I feel right now. I was so excited and ready for this new little bean. My dr wants me to wait 3 months before trying again and I’m honestly ok with that. I think the wait will be beneficial for me.
I want to continue my sway, as all I had going for it was diet and excersizing.
Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated

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I am so very sorry for your loss, I've been there and it is crushing [emoji174] Biggest hugs to you!

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I am so sorry for your loss. I just suffered a miscarriage as well. Mine was “missed” and so devastating. I feel your pain sweet mama. Praying for you.


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You certainly are not alone. After having a miscarriage just before Christmas I have realised just how common it is. I know you are heartbroken now, and I was too, but it does get easier. You will have your down days, but hang in there. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx


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