Sex drive sway?

DH and I both have high sex drives -- his I feel almost outrageously so (getting him not to release everyday was deemed "torture," and after swaying blue for 2 years, we've never had an issue completing 3 attempts at O). We still had a girl and am due any day now with a baby I'll be absolutely amazed if it's a boy, since I'm like 98% sure it's not.

I also got a girl with plenty of EWCM. I've got some fertile af CM, even according to doctors since DH has shitty sperm (especially motility) but we got pregnant even on pull out several times.

It's all a spectrum I feel. Not everyone has every symptom of a disease but can still have it, you know? Women get boys with close spacing, smoking, and once in a blue moon sex. Women get girls lifting weights and eating healthy and having frequent sex. There's chance and there's also all the other things that might have tipped the odds that particular month.

Yes your last paragraph is so true TP, very well put.

Lil


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Originally Posted by Throwaway_panther

DH and I both have high sex drives -- his I feel almost outrageously so (getting him not to release everyday was deemed "torture," and after swaying blue for 2 years, we've never had an issue completing 3 attempts at O). We still had a girl and am due any day now with a baby I'll be absolutely amazed if it's a boy, since I'm like 98% sure it's not.

I also got a girl with plenty of EWCM. I've got some fertile af CM, even according to doctors since DH has shitty sperm (especially motility) but we got pregnant even on pull out several times.

It's all a spectrum I feel. Not everyone has every symptom of a disease but can still have it, you know? Women get boys with close spacing, smoking, and once in a blue moon sex. Women get girls lifting weights and eating healthy and having frequent sex. There's chance and there's also all the other things that might have tipped the odds that particular month.

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So true. I often guess right on what people are having based on what I know about swaying. But sometimes I’m just floored. I often ask: How does the friend who posts photos of her 3000 calorie takeout meal every night have a house full of girls? How does that lady who runs 10 miles a day have all boys? I think this uncertainty about how every strategy and factor will pan out is our biggest fear and also our hope. At least for me it is.

There is this concept called an important minority. It means that while there are plenty of exceptions - in fact far more exceptions than there are people who fall into the minority group - there is just an unignorably large group of people who DO fall into that category and it simply has to mean something. I would be a very bad scientist-type-person if I looked at something that seemed to be true, 5,10, 20, 30% of the time and ignored it because I knew of a few exceptions (many of whom have lots of other things going on that may have swayed a certain color for them in the past).

I know this is not intentional but I really, really, really wish that people who don't happen to fall into the important minority category did not feel this burning obligation to post about it literally EVERY time we start talking about hypothetical stuff. I am only bringing this stuff up (when asked, BTW) because I want to help as many people as possible get their desired gender. And every time someone comes along and says "well achtually..." they are potentially harming the chances of people who ARE in the minority. People decide to do or not do things for their sway on offhand remarks all. the. time. This is especially true for blue swayers since many of them will seize upon the flimsiest of excuses not to do anything that is the least little bit difficult or stressful (such as, asking their husbands to stop smoking, for instance, or having sex more often, or waiting a few months before TTC so their babies aren't 10 months apart when they don't wanna). Any time someone says "that's not true 100% of the time" a good chunk of people take that as a "get out of jail free" card. Please keep in mind, ladies and gents, that swaying is not EVER 100% or even close to it and there are always people who fall outside the lines. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't still do what has worked for most people, most of the time.

"Well achtually, that's not true for me..." If it doesn't apply to you, ignore it. Sway in the ways that make sense to you! I care about the 5, 10, 30% of people who CAN possibly be helped by whatever it is. The people whose husbands can stop smoking! The people who can wait a couple months before TTC again! The people who can have sex a little more or a little less often. The pink swayers who can get Clomid! I can't help but cringe when I see people say "Well achtually I know lots of smokers with all boys" and "Well achtually I know lots of blue Irish twins" and "well achtually I know lots of people who got boys on Clomid" because it gives people in the important minority an excuse not to do what will help their sway. And many of them will jump at it because they're looking for a reason to not do whatever-it-is anyway.

What we are doing here is trying to solve a mystery (and probably more than one, since there appear to be many things that may sway and they don't all seem to sway in the same way). The reason why we are trying to solve the mystery is to get as many people as we possibly can, their desired gender. We are NOT trying to prove a theory universally true. We aren't, for example, saying "the only thing that sways is mineral levels and they sway 100% of the time" and so when someone says "well achtually" in that scenario, it's helpful because ANY exception to the theory, then disproves the rule.

Instead, we are saying "wow people in these certain categories seem to have more of one gender than the other, let's keep an eye on that and maybe do/not do those things to see if it helps" - we're like the Scooby gang, trying to follow this trail of clues to find out if it's Old Man Jenkins or whoever. Some of our clues are misleading and some of our suppositions are very likely wrong. We still need to monitor them to KNOW if they're wrong or not. I just can't ignore those things that may be true, I have to keep an eye on them since I want to solve that mystery, and I mention them to you guys because I want people who may benefit from them to be able to benefit from them without waiting till they're totally proven. I would be about the biggest jerk on the planet if I sat on info that I really truly think matters to some people's sways just because I can't prove it or because it isn't universal or if I can't explain how it works just yet. The fact is within our lifetimes this stuff will likely not be proven because no one is studying any of it, and our observations are pretty much the only clues we have to go on. I know already that there are exceptions, these things aren't 100%, I am already well aware, but I still think there's something here we need to keep an eye on. That's why these are hypothetical threads is so we can talk about things that aren't proven yet.

I always want you guys to feel free to question and challenge me always, but just do keep in mind that there are people out there who may not be being helped by the "well achtually" approach.

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Originally Posted by clarkrl2

So true. I often guess right on what people are having based on what I know about swaying. But sometimes I’m just floored. I often ask: How does the friend who posts photos of her 3000 calorie takeout meal every night have a house full of girls? How does that lady who runs 10 miles a day have all boys? I think this uncertainty about how every strategy and factor will pan out is our biggest fear and also our hope. At least for me it is.

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Swaying is an iceberg. The stuff you see above the water is minuscule compared to the stuff under the water. We don't know and in fact cannot ever know if anyone we see had underlying things swaying the opposite direction (not to mention their husband and what he brings to the table) and/or how much luck played a part. Even under ideal circumstances where we take everything we know or think we know about swaying and put it all together, we get opposites somewhere between 20-30% of the time. So it is not unreasonable to think that someone who isn't swaying may be "set" for one gender based on the stuff you see, but they could easily be more like 55% or 60% "set" and that is still plenty of room for opposites, even repeat opposites. And even if they were really truly coming in 80% "set" for one gender, they could still get an opposite or even more than one.

I know a woman who got a boy with a 92% Microsort sperm sort. That means 92% of the sperm that were in her body were X. Still got a boy.

And, keep in mind as well that lifestyles change over time. Your friend who gets girls with takeout meals or boys while running, may have had more pink/blue friendly lifestyle in the past, got her first or even first couple with a more easily recognizable pink/blue lifestyle and then later on things change so the part of the iceberg you're seeing now may not even have been the part sticking up before.

We can't look at one person in isolation and really know anything. All we can do is look at what seems to work best for most people, most of the time, and do that.