Abstinence and birth defects

Thanks rainbow. The more I think about it the more I keep thinking just do whatever and bd when the mood arises rather than planning and scheduling it in. I def didn't have a healthy pink diet before and im sure the preseed swayed heavily too so maybe you are right and I should just try bd by the opk :)

that might be less stressful for you! just try and get your DH to release on his own (or with help) on the days when you don't BD because DTD every 2-4 days sways blue as that's what's best for sperm count

It's not like flipping a light switch, it's just that there is a gradual increase as men age in birth defects anyway and abstinence makes that worse by producing worse sperm. I would imagine that 34 is safe enough, but it is different for every individual man, if that makes any sense.

Here is my series of 3 O+12 essays that you should def. read (how to is in there too) before you decide to go with O+12 - there are things you need to consider before deciding if O+12 is right for you http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...ry-o-12-a.html (links at bottom of first essay to other two)

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Originally Posted by rainbowflower

I've not seen any specific studies, but I do know some exist that show a link with abstaining in older men and increase in birth defects. Generally this is 35+, so your DH should be fine but it's your call

O+12 is very risky to time (i.e. leave it slightly too late and you miss the egg altogether) - do you temp?

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There is def. a study, I read it when I was back on IG and we had a lot of long discussions about it but for some reason, I can't find it! I've been looking for that dang thing for a year LOL! :/

There are also several studies that show 1) abstinence makes bad sperm even in younger men and 2) men over 35 have worse sperm than younger men and 3) older men have a higher rate of fathering kids with birth defects and other, scarier disorders like autism and schizophrenia, so to my way of thinking, even tho I can't find the original study, 1 + 2 + 3 = men over 35 should not do abstain.

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Originally Posted by TickledPinkButLoveMyBlue

Rainbow im doing O+12 because my cycles aren't regular enough to do a cut off.
I am still bf my 13mo ds so I can't take vitex to regulate. They seem to fluctuate around 30 days but I just wouldn't feel confident with a cutoff again as that's what we tried to do with ds but i o'd early. Plus we were using preseed and i had a somewhat boyish diet, I didn't know about swaying then. Im also tossing up fr bd and just going straight through from af to past O. Will be difficult but I have friends that swear they conceived their girls with fr bd and i mean twice a day as opposed to infrequent bd with their boys. Im 27 so not sure if it'll make any difference to the outcome. My mum had 5 boys in a row before me so Im def only having 2 children lol

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It is way, way more likely that you got a boy becos of your diet and the Preseed, then any magical day you DTD on.

You CAN take vitex while BF kids 9-12 months and older, and I have done it twice with no ill effects.

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Originally Posted by dannikins

i think they are normal risks that we all face regardless of age or release frequency.
they are only increased slightly by age.

my eldest son has mild autism. (autism is one of the things they say can be caused by older fathers.)
and he was conceived with us DTD at least twice a day every day.
hubby was 35 at the time.
the next 3 were less BD each conception, and they are all totally fine perfect little boys.
im not sure about this one yet, things all looked fine on the last scan, but this was a one shot deal after 7 days abstinence, and 7 days abstinence before that. and hubby will be 44 next month. i am 28.

i know perfectly healthy young couples, in their 20s ,who ended up with downs children , severe autism, and even malformation.
i think its just luck of the draw.

but i do agree, the more frequent release, the more healthy the sperm, which is what we all want really isnt it...:)

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Yes, younger couples can and do have kids with problems all the time but the statistical truth is, the numbers start to rise as you age, there is no getting around it.

Just becos not everyone who smokes, gets lung cancer, no one doubts the fact that smoking DOES cause lung cancer.

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Originally Posted by TickledPinkButLoveMyBlue

Thanks Rainbow. def don't want to wait for opk as that's what happened with ds so trying to do something different. Thank you for the info though :)

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It's not always necessary or good to do something different tho - if you did the Atkins diet and didn't lose weight, to turn around and say, well, that must mean that I should eat only carbs to lose weight and then start eating nothing but birthday cake...well that's not going to make you lose weight either and may even be worse.

It's the same with swaying. Best evidence we have is that timing doesn't sway, so you don't HAVE to do anything any different than you ever did. I understand wanting to hedge your bets but there are these whole enormous set of downsides that come with timing - it's stressful and detail oriented (which raises testosterone and may inadvertently sway blue), it may not even be safe in the case of very long cutoffs and O+12, and it keeps you from getting pg quickly which means you have to go on for months swaying, and my experience has been that the longer people go on not getting pg, they end up dropping everything from their sway and cheating on their diet. So they trade things that DO SWAY in this attempt to include timing, which doesn't!

I just happen to be reading this thread today after my 20 week scan which confirmed my baby girl is still a girl - she was conceived on O day :D

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Originally Posted by TickledPinkButLoveMyBlue

Thanks rainbow. The more I think about it the more I keep thinking just do whatever and bd when the mood arises rather than planning and scheduling it in. I def didn't have a healthy pink diet before and im sure the preseed swayed heavily too so maybe you are right and I should just try bd by the opk :)

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what about dtd every day from af to O or pretty much every day?

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Originally Posted by TickledPinkButLoveMyBlue

what about dtd every day from af to O or pretty much every day?

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Or would that raise ph too much?