Now what?

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Originally Posted by Flava

Z-Im sorry you feel sad I know how is that and I think I will join you again soon...That is so nice of your DH to say for sure he will love his baby girl. But really your pic is not showing a girl 100% it may be the cord . I hope you will get another u/s with a clear pic. And to think 3 boys is a blessing and 3 girls not that's just mean. maybe those ppl are jealous of you and your DH?
Others also make some comment to my DH sometimes .I don't know I think guys are so stupid thinking making a boy show you are a big man or something. But he got 1 friend with 2 boys and he is jealous of DH because he wanted a baby girl.
And you really don't know what is the baby yet for sure so don't feel that way.

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Flava you're 100% right - thinking that 3 boys are blessing and 3 girls are curse is not just mean, it's sick and not human. I found out that I don't have a problem or need to make comments about 3+ same gender families, it just bothers me that it will be MY family.
I'm probably ready for psychiatric evaluation...

I know few people are jealous for sure, but they don't have kids at all, just IVF failures. I would NEVER make comment about them not having kids or having fertility issues.

I think it's cultural thing and yes, like you said, making boys make them a big man :rolleyes: I also believe the more civilized society is, the less important is whether couple have girls or boys, but since here we're practically living in stone age, what to expect :rolleyes:

It's your turn for :xy:, I can feel it in my bones! :luck:

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Originally Posted by LolaInLove

Z, I know it is hard to think about this right now. Just try to remember how much you wanted to get pg and how we were in the long-timers club together for so long! This little one is a blessing! And you know what, just like every mom here with 3+ of the same gender, you will have a lovely family and everything will be just fine. You can't worry about what other people think.....who gives a S&%T really what they think? Your DH is a champ and will be so proud no matter what, and you know it doesn't make you either of you less of a man or a woman to have 3 girls. You will love this little lady just as much as your other 2 gals, and I think it's important to just try to push yourself away from feeling badly about it the best you can. I know you are disappointed, but in my eyes, you are SO lucky to have a healthy little baby on the way, honey!!!! I hope you can come to terms and feel good about all of this. She will be awesome, if it even is still a she!

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Thank you Lola! :HH: I know in my heart you're right. Yes, I wanted to get pg for ages and I realize what a blessing is a to have a healthy child.
My DH told me : You're practically winning to God - why you're giving me a healthy baby? That's called blasphemy.
He's right.
I'm sure I'll love this baby to bits the moment I see her, but I'll never feel comfortable with FACT of my family make-up. Also, I'm too freaking sensitive to comments, I'll never be immune to others people stupidity. Also I believe I'm pretty much culturally conditioned and the way my upbringing was. I'm trying to rise above it, but it's not easy.

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Originally Posted by LolaInLove

I wish people would shut their mouths with the comments unless they are saying something nice like "your kids are so cute!"

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Absolutely! But it won't happen in my life time lol!

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Originally Posted by fun family

Totally not true. I got rude comments with three boys, and now that I have four boys, I get downright mean comments all the freakin' time. Ranging from, "poor you, you will never get to do mother-daugther stuff" to "sons will leave you, daughters are forever" to someone who actually said having so many boys was a punishment from God!

I think no matter whether its boys or girls, having a few in a row makes people judemental and rude. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

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There is a 'funny' saying here: It's better to have 2 girls then 3. I hear that ALL the time when I'm out with my girls.
Even my sister already told me: Oh s**t, it seems your husband and you are uncapable of producing boys?
My mom: Hang in there, it might still be a boy.
MIL: I lost every hope, I'm sure it's a girl.
My dad: Oh, they are finally getting a brother! I said, no probably a sister, and he just said: m-hm.

Wonderful support from your own family. I don't think they were deliberately trying to hurt me, they just don't know any better and never tried to rise above it.
I have to say again it means a world to me all support I'm getting here! Thank you!!!! :HH:

Oh ZB! Hun I feel you. I never thought twice about seeing other families with 3 girls, never bothered me a bit, but for it to be MY family?!!? I was devastated! It kind of surprised me to be honest, how much it bothered me, and embarrassed me, to have 3DD. Weird how that works.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. FWIW it has gotten so much better for me since her arrival. I still get the comments, I mean honestly I had 6 nurses in the hospital say something about how disappointed we must be to have a third girl, literally while I was in L&D or recovery. But by that time I just didn't give a rip anymore. I flat out told one of them maybe the reason her DD was so dramatic (she was saying how sorry she was I'd have 3x the drama) was more of a lousy parenting issue, because I didn't see that in either of my DD's :bigsmile: I can honestly say that while I hate that the comments come, it doesn't impact me anymore the way it did when I was pregnant, and they don't influence how I see my family. These are MY girls. MY children. And if anyone thinks less of them or me for the fact that we're all a bunch of girls, then that's their own issue to deal with.

I understand you have a heap of cultural influence to deal with on top of just your own desire and that just sucks. But from everything you've shown here on these boards, you're a fantastic woman, and you're going to raise some amazing daughters. We'll see who gets the last word when your girls go on to achieve great things in their futures :)

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Originally Posted by begonia

I understand you have a heap of cultural influence to deal with on top of just your own desire and that just sucks. But from everything you've shown here on these boards, you're a fantastic woman, and you're going to raise some amazing daughters. We'll see who gets the last word when your girls go on to achieve great things in their futures :)

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Awww that is so sweet of you!!!! :awe: Thank you so very, very much!!!!
Your experience is encouraging, I hope I'll feel the same once she's actually here :happy:
Nurses here are also completely insensitive to others people feelings, they feel they have natural right to say the first thing they come up with :rolleyes: Also here they are on first name basis with their patients which bothers only the very few of us....

My DH is 1/2 Norweign and 1/2 Italian. He was very happy to have a son first, Viking Pride. He joked about DS2 being a boy but he felt bad about not having a girl. He loves our neice and always has to get her the cutest funkyest outfit. He really wants a daddy's girl. But I fear the "boy" word because it would break his heart because he is already thinking about thinks he can do with a girl.


ZB and Flava - How about a trade? You two can have my DH boy thoughts, my MIL boy thoughts, and my own boy thoughts and I will take your girl thoughts.

I'm sorry ZB, massive {hugs}

I have 4 girls in a row and I have gotten SO many crappy comments over the years. Having this many girls is a curse here too. But you know what? Now that they are older I couldn't care less! They always know how to make me smile, they help me around the house, we go shopping, go out to eat and have so much fun. Seriously those people who make stupid comments like that don't know how awesome it is to have 3, 4 or more girls!

Big hugs from me too ZB, I´m sorry you´re feeling so sad and I completely understand.