3 kids close together, would you do it?

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Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink

I think our babies need time to be babies and feel like they are the center of our world for a bit before they must adjust.

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I completely agree, this is totally why I was so very upset when I found out I was pregnant with #2 only 5 months after #1 was born, I think my relationship with #1 would be SO much tighter if #2 would have been born 1 year, at least, later.

Waiting4Daisy: I feel like a hot mess 90% of the time too LOL When visiting the states a while back my MIL told me she would get a hysterectomy if she were me lol, it's really not that hard though I like the chaos of the kids, it's just hard adding in house, food, husband, laundry lol

There are 3 and a half years between DS1 and DS2.

It was an adjustment. DS1 was potty trained and independent, so that part was nice, but the looks in his eyes, very, very hurt that he was no longer the center of things, that stung. Sometimes I wish I had DS2 sooner only because DS1 wouldn't have been so "aware" that he was no longer the only baby. So, we are having our 3rd in September and DS2 will only be 17 months old when this new baby is born. Maybe that is crazy, but like you, I was dying for a chance to sway at having a dear daughter.

Before we got pregnant with DS2, I was going to buy Shettles book and try his timing method to concieve a DD. I always knew I wanted at least one daughter (I had imagined 3 before when I was young), but DS1 was an opps and DS2 was an opps, and what made me angry at the time was that I had begged and begged my DH to let me try for a 2nd but because of cirumstances at that time, he thought having another child was a bad idea. Then, we have an opps, and I had a sinking feeling from the beginning that baby 2 would be another boy. So, with that mind, pretty much ever since I've had DS2 (he turns 1 in April), I've been dreaming and hoping of having my daughter.

Sorry for the long essay, but I totally understand how you feel about needing to try now, though maybe you'll want to wait. I've been thinking about how I rushed my sway lately in my all-consuming desire to have a daughter and wonder if I didn't just screw everything up.

Take a deep breath and IF you do decide to sway sooner rather than later, make sure your sway tactic is 150% locked down, or you'll be having regrets or doubts once you're pregnant.

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oh Watiing 4 Daisy, that is so beautiful :) I am really, really trying to stay positive that *whoever* is in my belly is meant to join our family, but it's so hard sometimes to keep perspective when I have so much gender desire. My boys are awesome and I know if baby 3 is a boy too, he will be meant for us

I hope you get your DD when you sway again!

I would go for it if I were you.I have 4 boys under 6 years old.don't get me wrong it is testing (at times) but what isn't in life.I love the bond my boys have and they are so caring and loving towards eachother and I think that comes from being so close in age.they are as thick as thieves lol.there's never a dull moment in our house :) good luck whatever you decide !

I think it could be overwhelming? Like others said, it might prevent you to fully enjoy your newborn.
Idk, I don't have that experiences myself, my girls are 4 years apart and this baby will be 5 years apart from DD2.

Since this one is probably a girl :tissue: I recently came up with the idea to try for a 4th. Eventhou I'm 39 ( so much older then you), I'm going to wait until this baby turns 1 year, so I'll be 41 when (if) I TTC again.

The only thing that might go in favor to start right now, is that you're probably exhausted on daily basis which sways pink, so maybe to use this advantage now?

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck! :HH:

My boys are 23mths apart but I have noticed some things.... DS2 is so dependent on his brother that he doesn't do anything when alone. We are working with him but I am hoping that when DS1 goes to school and I am alone with 2 kids that DS2 will strat to be a leader to #3.

I really wanted only 2 kids and for them to be 3-4 years apart. mostly so I can take the time with each one.

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Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink

I would not. There's just no way to enjoy number 3 with a 3 and 2 year old. I do think 4 and 3+ would be substantially easier. I think 3 is a good age where you can begin to rationalize with them and they understand what waiting a minute means while you tend to baby.

I think our babies need time to be babies and feel like they are the center of our world for a bit before they must adjust. I think spacing just a bit reduces some of the competition between siblings though not all.

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I totally agree with NBP.
If I were young like you, I would wait 3-4 years and then have nr.3 and nr. 4.

I love, love, love my gaps. DD1 was 3.5 years when DD2 was born, and DD2 is almost 3 (in 6 weeks), and DD3 is a newborn. DD1 is in kindergarten, DD2 goes to preschool 3 days a week, so I have time where it is just me and the babe, which is just lovely. Neither of my girls had any issues with bringing in a new baby, because they were done being babies. They didn't want me to carry them around or feed them anymore. They were in a different stage, and rather than feel they are competing with the baby they want to do things for me/her. It's kind of awesome :)

ITA with NBP and several others that it is nice to let your babies have their time as babies w/o another one around, but I also know short gaps have their advantages too. It's very much a to-each-her-own type of thing. I would never try to tell someone else how to space because everyone has their own reasons, KWIM? Only you know what you can handle!

I was glad to see you post this though because we've been wondering the same thing re: gaps; if we have a 4th, we've thought about having a 2 year gap instead of the 3 we're accustomed to having... I'm getting old, LOL. So I am interested in seeing the replies here :)

If it was me i would wait, the longer the better. Raise your sons, enjoy every moment with them, then when you feel like they are no longer a challenge, try for the girl.