To circumsize or not to circumsize????

I think it should be mandatory for parents to be in the room while their son is circed. If a person wants their son to undergo a cosmetic surgery without his consent, the least you can do is be there to talk to him and comfort him. He's just spent 9 months being protected in the womb and then he gets taken away from mommy, strapped down, injected with pain meds, and has a piece(a very important piece I might add) of his body removed. I'm so glad that I have an intact body...imagine if it were the other way around and we were taking girl's breast buds off in their teens for cancer prevention or removing the hood of our girls clitoris'. I would ultimately want to have the final say because no matter if I'm 9 days or 90, it's my body, my choice. JMNSHO.

I totally see what you are saying doulamama. That is what is hard for me, I can't imagine doing something to my girl's bodies after birth so why cut foreskin off of your son's penis? Just hard to swallow. Surprisingly though I am still having a hard time making a decision.

Doula, I hear you and I do understand that it is a cosmetic thing. I chose to leave the issue up to my husband. He is a man, grew up with boys, men and for me, it was his issue to decide. He knows what it is like (where we live) for kids that were not cir'd and what it meant growing up and as an adult. So, as superficial as it sounds(and it is not a lack of education- we both have higher degrees, LOL) we chose to have him go through the procedure.

I make decisions everyday for my children. Right or wrong, I take everything under consideration and I do make them. Of course I would never want to cause my child pain or do something that cannot be taken back, but it is not something that can be done as an adult(I know it CAN be but let's be real- no grown man would want to do that as an adult) so for cultural reasons, we did it. It doesn't seem to bother my DH and I have never heard a story from someone I know persoanly that has struggled due to his circumcision.

I completely agree with doula! Thankfully, this is isn’t even an issue in the UK as it is only carried out for medical/religious reasons! I can’t believe that newborn babies are routinely put through a procedure which carries its own risks for purely cosmetic reasons (the proposed health benefits have been completely discredited)! As already pointed out above, circumcistion was originally performed as a punishment for little boys found masturbating. I just dont see how it has a place in modern medicine! The human body is the result of millions of years of evolution, the foreskin has purpose! Your baby is perfect!

Doing it so that sons look like their fathers is in my opinion ludicrous! My dh was circ'd for medical reasons we will simply explain to DS why they are different.
JMHO

Well I am 90% sure we are not going to circumcise. There is just no reason to, I just hope it is not something our son wishes we had done. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Roonarpia

Well I am 90% sure we are not going to circumcise. There is just no reason to, I just hope it is not something our son wishes we had done. :)

---

There are plenty of websites that help parents explain to there kids about why they are different... and even groups for parents of intacted boyss.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by purplepoet20

There are plenty of websites that help parents explain to there kids about why they are different... and even groups for parents of intacted boyss.

---

Wonderful to know, you are so awesome purple thank you!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Roonarpia

Well I am 90% sure we are not going to circumcise. There is just no reason to, I just hope it is not something our son wishes we had done. :)

---

:D I have 10+ men in my family(all from the UK) and after talking to each and every one of them about being intact.....(yes, slightly embarrassing but I needed to talk to intact men...not circed ones) I felt very comfortable about my kids future as an intact man. Not one of them had any issues at all...EVER. They were all shocked that I was even considering it!
Anyway, rule number 1: make sure you never retract your son's foreskin. Make sure every person that will ever change his bum knows not to retract- this includes your Dr too.
2. Wipe it like a finger
3. Do not freak out if your kid is not retractable at 2-most kids will be able to by 14 years of age.
4. Find an intact friendly Dr if your child does have any issues. The foreskin is important and just chopping it off at the first sign of a problem is not the way to go. In the UK for every 1000 men that are intact, only 10 will medically need a circ and that stat is because the Dr's know it's an important part of a man's sexual health

The reason why some intact men have issues later in life is BECAUSE someone retracted them before they were ready. The foreskin is attached to the glans(which when circing is kinda like removing a fingernail from the nail bed...ouch). Early retraction causes scarring and adhesions issues later in life.

You don't have to worry about cleaning inside until the boy can actually retract himself(with my boys it started around 2-3 years) and even then they(the child) just gently pull back and swish with water. No harsh soap needed...it's like our vaginal tissue on the glans(head) and when it's protected it "self cleans" itself. Also, I let my babies have access to themselves on a regular basis as this is what helps loosen the attachment to the glans and helps with retraction later on. If I were to have any issues with my intact sons later in life I will make sure that the urologist I see will be pro-intact. I suggest finding an intact friendly Dr as well......as my family Dr tried to retract my 12mos old son! I was shocked! Most Dr's will have zero clue about leaving it alone so you must speak up for your child:)

I would say your son will most likely thank you for leaving his body the way nature intended:)

Roonarpia I am in the same boat... this is the first time it's been an issue, DH is set on having it done, but I just don't want him to have to go through the pain! Depending on the doctor you might not have to be in the room, my friend thought she was going to have to be in the room, but they took him back and brought him back a few minutes later

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Queen-o-Queens

Roonarpia I am in the same boat... this is the first time it's been an issue, DH is set on having it done, but I just don't want him to have to go through the pain! Depending on the doctor you might not have to be in the room, my friend thought she was going to have to be in the room, but they took him back and brought him back a few minutes later

---

What do you think you will end up doing Queen?

No dr says you have to be in the room.... I chose it because I wanted my boys to stay boys!

.

Its very tough. I just came from a bris. I do regret having my son circumcised, but at the time after so much research, I was so against it, my DH convinced me to change my mind after a beautiful letter he wrote to our unborn son. I felt family pressure too a bit. At the time I felt like I was doing the right thing, but as time has gone on I do regret it. It is actually one small piece of the puzzle of why I don't want another boy, because I feel we would have to circumcise him too, and I know it would be incredibly traumatic for me now given how my mind has changed.
I guess it's hard to know how you will feel in the future.

Both of my boys are not circumcised, (they are 6 and 16 months) even though their father is. I just couldn't imagine cutting a little baby, especially when I heard the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) was no longer routinely recommending it. My Dad is a Urologist and was not keen on the idea of my not doing it, but it just seemed so unnecessary. My sister's two boys are also not circumcised (they are 19 and 11) -no one has had an issue with health/cleanliness so far!

http://blogs.sfweekly.com/exhibition...ves_his_fo.php

Here's an article written recently. There is some harsh language...just a warning. I think more and more people across the United States and Canada are becoming increasingly aware that circ is just not needed at all, for any reason.
xo

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lindi

Its very tough. I just came from a bris. I do regret having my son circumcised, but at the time after so much research, I was so against it, my DH convinced me to change my mind after a beautiful letter he wrote to our unborn son. I felt family pressure too a bit. At the time I felt like I was doing the right thing, but as time has gone on I do regret it. It is actually one small piece of the puzzle of why I don't want another boy, because I feel we would have to circumcise him too, and I know it would be incredibly traumatic for me now given how my mind has changed.
I guess it's hard to know how you will feel in the future.

---

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry Lindi. Maybe, if you're comfortable with it, tell your sons how you feel/felt about it when they're older and hopefully they'll keep their own sons intact:)
xo

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gossie

Both my boys are circumcised. I really, really regret it.

With the first, we were so undecided. I did my research and could not really come up with a good reason to do it. DH was slightly in favor of it. Right around the time I delivered a study (now refuted) came out about circumcision reducing transmission of STDs. That seemed like a good reason to us, so we went for it.

When we found out that DS2 was another boy, we debated but in the end felt like we "had" to do it again so that he and DS1 would look the same. I know there are people who say this doesn't matter, but I just felt that siblings have enough reasons to make fun of each other/cut each other down without giving them another, very personal, reason.

I had DS2 at home, so his circumcision was not done until he was one week old. Having a week to get to know him beforehand really drove home to me how much it DOES hurt them afterward. With DS1 it was done on day 2, so although he was fussy I had nothing to compare it to. The change in DS2 was just incredibly obvious to us, he cried much much more in the day or 2 after the procedure.

My DH was in the room with him for the procedure and said that he cried only when they gave him the shot to numb the area. However, DH was green and shaky when he came out.

In my area, it is very common for boys to be uncircumcised. In fact, from what I have seen among my friends/the locker room at swim class, we are in the minority for his age group.

I think that everyone should do what is right for their family, but please please PLEASE think long and hard about this issue and make sure you are 100% sure about your decision. I don't think my boys are traumatized or anything and I rarely think about it, but it's definitely something that makes me feel regretful when I do.

---

(((HUGS))) Mama :HH: Thank you for sharing your story with us. xo

Don't beat yourself up Lindi xx

http://www.4eric.org/

Wanted to put a link on here of a great site dedicated to getting the truth about circumcision out to the masses. It has tons of info and is well laid out. They look at the studies done and see if there is any truth behind them. There is also a video on the site that every parent should watch if they plan on circing - not for the faint of heart.

.

I have 3 boys and they are all circumcised, it was a decision that we made together but mainly because my husband thought it should be done and I know of a few people who had to have it done later on in life. I don't regret it at all, but it should be something that you are happy with.

My sisters boys both had to be done when they were 4 and 6, because of constant infections cause by something actually being wrong (sorry I don't know exactly what), having it done at that age, was not so nice.

We had 2 done with the plastibell method and this was much preferred to the traditional cicumcision by me. My first son didn't cry at all and my third wasn't very unsettled and it didn't last for long. Even though it took up to a week for the plastic to fall off, I didn't notice any discomfort and the always fed well. We were not allowed the plastibell with my second son as he was not deemed healthy enough by the paed, so we had to have to traditional one when he was 6 weeks old, there was a lot of crying and when we took the gauze off 3 days later, there was more crying and pain.

I do know what Lindi was saying about having another boy, when I knew my 3rd was a boy and that he would be circumcised I didn't look forward to it, but having the plastibell make it a lot better for us.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gossie

lindi, I felt much the same about another boy. Before we found out the sex of #2, I wanted a girl because I dreaded circumcising again. I also couldn't think of a single boy name I liked as much as my DS1's. I wonder sometimes how much these 2 things contributed to the GD I felt once he was confirmed a boy.

---

Yes, it surprises me how I felt so strongly against it, and was so easily swayed after understanding my husband's feelings. I really wanted to please my husband, and I felt the beauty of his argument- he is Jewish, and so it has a deeper meaning for him, and a connection to something he is proud of and wanted our son to be connected to, but we made this decision before I met my son, and before I really knew how I would feel later. That is a very real reason I want to avoid another boy. I really really don't want to act against the way I feel now, but I would hurt my first son, I feel, by creating a situation where he would feel something bad was done to him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by glory

I have 3 boys and they are all circumcised, it was a decision that we made together but mainly because my husband thought it should be done and I know of a few people who had to have it done later on in life. I don't regret it at all, but it should be something that you are happy with.

My sisters boys both had to be done when they were 4 and 6, because of constant infections cause by something actually being wrong (sorry I don't know exactly what), having it done at that age, was not so nice.

We had 2 done with the plastibell method and this was much preferred to the traditional cicumcision by me. My first son didn't cry at all and my third wasn't very unsettled and it didn't last for long. Even though it took up to a week for the plastic to fall off, I didn't notice any discomfort and the always fed well. We were not allowed the plastibell with my second son as he was not deemed healthy enough by the paed, so we had to have to traditional one when he was 6 weeks old, there was a lot of crying and when we took the gauze off 3 days later, there was more crying and pain.

I do know what Lindi was saying about having another boy, when I knew my 3rd was a boy and that he would be circumcised I didn't look forward to it, but having the plastibell make it a lot better for us.

---

I am glad you found something to make it easier!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Roonarpia

Oh my gosh this is all such amazing information!!! I still am confused though. I feel like it is unnecessary but at the same time I don't know anything else (never been with an intact man) so I guess the thought of having an intact child kind of scares me? Man this is a hard decision. I feel like I am the only one who is struggling this much with the decision...

---

Roon... I am struggling with this descision too. Dh is not for it at all. I am 70% for doing it for cosmetic reasons for potencial partners. but DH does not want to put our baby through it. In his opinion it does not matter, but on the other hand I am the only women he has ever been with. So he has never had to deal with venturing into dating scene etc. I am his first girlfriend. I don't know if I am thinking too much into it, I thought girls prefered uncut for their partners, so I did not want DS to wonder why we left him intact.
he is not for it. Until I am 100% convinced I cannot convince him. So dilemma. 50/50 among our friends kids

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Aqua

Roon... I am struggling with this descision too. Dh is not for it at all. I am 70% for doing it for cosmetic reasons for potencial partners. but DH does not want to put our baby through it. In his opinion it does not matter, but on the other hand I am the only women he has ever been with. So he has never had to deal with venturing into dating scene etc. I am his first girlfriend. I don't know if I am thinking too much into it, I thought girls prefered uncut for their partners, so I did not want DS to wonder why we left him intact.
he is not for it. Until I am 100% convinced I cannot convince him. So dilemma. 50/50 among our friends kids

---

I've been with both and I can say that for me, intact is by far better than cut. Any woman that judges a man based on what his penis looks like, isn't worth that mans time, IMO. If a man couldn't be with me because my labia/vagina wasn't pretty....I don't think I'd be with that person either. Your son will be in the majority if left intact because the circ rate is dropping by the year.

all 4 of my boys are circumcised, I did not do it for religious reasons, I am christian but dont feel like God requires it anymore, that was a covenant with abraham and now we have a covenant with jesus (wont go into details just why I feel it isnt required anymore lol) I did it for medical reasons, its cleaner, and they get less to zero infections throughout life and I believe it drastically lowers their chance of penis cancer and lets talk about their wives, not that they will not like the way it looks but its healthier for them too, less infections for them, mine were cut with minimal bleeding, you just put lots of vaseline on a gauze so it doesnt stick to diaper and change it every diaper for about 3 to 4 days and thats it, I have heard nightmare stories about it but I dont believe its very common, they were done when they were a day old and were checked often to make sure bleeding was clotting and they told me that it had to be done bleeding before he could leave but I never had an issue with that, the first and maybe second guaze had some blood on it but after that it was fine, GL on whatever you decide :)

If I were to have a son, no I wouldnt, dont see the need.

Dd1 :ballerina: Dd2 :giggle: & OMG IM :pregnant:

Dh and I sort of had a conversation about this, by sort of I mean DH said no and that was that. Never in our 17yrs together has he laid down the law unconcerned about my feelings but he basically said since I have no penis I have no say lol Don't read this badly, my DH is sweet and kind and we have discussed all other major decisions at length but I have to agree that I won't be asking his opinions about our dd's periods/feminine products with him so this does seem fair. I can't understand penis issues but DH is uncut and has never had any negative reactions to it, he also feels a boy should look like his dad. So Basically no, we will not be circumcising our son.

Not to start a brawl but do not be concerned with cleanliness or infections, either a man is clean or he isn't. A lot of the problems with uncircumcised men are caused by improper care but you wouldn't remove your daughters labia for cleanliness reasons so why remove the foreskin. We teach our daughters to care for their vagina's i.e. wiping front to back and period care. It's just as easy to teach a son to take care of his penis.

Something else to keep in mind if you keep the tip covered it keeps the gland more sensitive therefore increasing sexual pleasure.

Here's a link to web md, it's unbiased info about circumcision.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditio...e/circumcision

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 3Pink1Blue

Dh and I sort of had a conversation about this, by sort of I mean DH said no and that was that. Never in our 17yrs together has he laid down the law unconcerned about my feelings but he basically said since I have no penis I have no say lol Don't read this badly, my DH is sweet and kind and we have discussed all other major decisions at length but I have to agree that I won't be asking his opinions about our dd's periods/feminine products with him so this does seem fair. I can't understand penis issues but DH is uncut and has never had any negative reactions to it, he also feels a boy should look like his dad. So Basically no, we will not be circumcising our son.

Not to start a brawl but do not be concerned with cleanliness or infections, either a man is clean or he isn't. A lot of the problems with uncircumcised men are caused by improper care but you wouldn't remove your daughters labia for cleanliness reasons so why remove the foreskin. We teach our daughters to care for their vagina's i.e. wiping front to back and period care. It's just as easy to teach a son to take care of his penis.

Something else to keep in mind if you keep the tip covered it keeps the gland more sensitive therefore increasing sexual pleasure.

Here's a link to web md, it's unbiased info about circumcision.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditio...e/circumcision

---

Yay! Yes to all of this! I do feel that even if a man is cut he still has no say over another persons parts. I'm glad my mom didn't operate on my labia to make it look like hers:) Cleaning an intact penis is so very easy! Just wipe like a finger! No retracting until the child can do it himself- usually 5+ years old. It's self cleaning while still adhered to the glans:)

All three of my boys are circumcised.

Now I wonder if Aqua and Roonarpia did it or not?

A FANTASTIC write up on this topic:)

http://www.naturalparenting.com.au/f...o-know/97757/1

I am so so happy I live in the UK and don't have to think about such decisions! It is very rare to circumsize here and I have never seen a circumsized penis myself and if I did I think I would think that would look very strange! Surgery on babies for cosmetic reasons is just very wrong IMO and i don't think infections and this and that is a valid excuse either because if it truly was better for a man not to have foreskin on his penis then men simply wouldn't be born with foreskin! It's there for a reason, just like we've got labia and eyelids for a reason! but we don't remove labia for cosmetic reasons unless of course you live in some tribes in Africa.

I am fairly sure we will be having the procedure done if we end up with a boy...if the decision were only mine to make it wouldn't be happening but my husband feels VERY strongly about any son he has being circumcised.
It is rather uncommon here in Oz nowadays so I will be expecting my husband to take charge in this situation and find the Doctor etc.
I can fully understand why people feel strongly against this, but peole have their reasons for doing things no matter how odd they may appear to others and I am glad this thread hasn't deteriorated into nastiness as I have seen happen with the same topic on other sites.

Grasshopper you are in WA right? I can let you know the procedure in Perth :) Will PM you soon! Just jumped on to order pizza lol

Yep, in WA...Awesome Glory...thanks. From what I can work out it seems pretty hard to find a Doctor in Perth that does it. DH asked a midwife about finding a Doctor while we were pregnant with DD#1 and was very quickly shut down with a big frown and some clipped comments. Any info would be much appreciated...ta.

We are Muslim and did it for religious reasons, but I think I would have chose to circ regardless for other reasons. My two oldest had it done in the hospital the day after they were born and healed very quickly with out any problems.I actually don't even think I saw what they (penis) looked like before the circ's. My ds3 had it done at his pediatrician's office a few days after he was born. I remember thinking it looked like an ant eater. Very different than what I was used to seeing. He also healed very quickly without issues. However, My DH was raised Christian is NOT circumcised and wishes his parents did it when he was younger. My step-son who is a year older than my oldest son is also not circumcised and is embarrassed about it. I believe it is a personal decision. I also believe that it's just as wrong to judge and criticize a circumcision as it is to criticize the decision to keep your son intact.

I don't think i could do it. My DP is uncircumsized so i would think a little boy would like to look the same as his daddy.

Like Sunset, I live in the UK - and I have to say I had no idea that people routinely did this (except for religious reasons) unless there was a medical reason to do so. I'm actually completely baffled and it's something I would never even consider.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by zanacal

Like Sunset, I live in the UK - and I have to say I had no idea that people routinely did this (except for religious reasons) unless there was a medical reason to do so. I'm actually completely baffled and it's something I would never even consider.

---

Where we live, it is routinely performed. I am not sure any of my friends of families' children are not circumcised as it would not be the norm to be intact. My DH is and I did ask him about it and he responded by asking if I wanted him to be made fun of his whole life. I think it is an unusual accepted practice but I can tell you that doctors do think that there will be less "issues" if you have it done- that is what mine said from their experience. It is not why we did it though. It's because he now looks like his dad and it's really not a big deal at that age. It's not something my DH has ever gone looking for. I do understand why it seems crazy if you are not from here and that is not what you are used to. It just is the norm here and that is why it is done. I am nearly 100% certain that all our family and friends have it done.

I had my 1st son circumcised and definitely regret it. He does not look circumcised at all and I've had to take him to several specialists who told me this happens "all the time" with newborn circumcisions and they have to redo them daily. They then told me my son would have to go under general anesthesia and the procedure would be purely cosmetic so I decided not to redo it and I will never have any more boys circumcised and I'm really glad the circumcision rate is dropping in the US. DH had the same thing as DS1 so he does not look circumcised at all and I've never found a single issue with it. I also really don't understand how infant female circumcision can be illegal when it is done for all the same reasons (religion, hygiene, culture, to look like mommy or just it looks "better") and male circumcision is not only legal but widely practiced.