Would you consider donor eggs, BB??
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Would you consider donor eggs, BB??
I don't know Atomic. As I learn more I see the success rates are much higher. A lot of my fantasy is about having a mini me so I guess the genetic bit is important to me, but obviously the experiences and potential relationship are more important. So perhaps. I wondered if I could do 1 round with my own eggs, and if (when) it failed, do a donor egg round. Then that would have to be it. Have you ever heard of a 40 year old OHW?
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So put in 1 of each? Then if 1 stuck, you wouldn't know which...but if both did one would be yours and 1 would be from the donor egg, they'd be twins but half siblings? Wow! And I thought my family was already complicated! �� Is that a common choice babygirlquest?
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If you look up Jany1025's posts http://genderdreaming.com/forum/members/jany1025.html she did have success later on (although her journey has been a very long one.) I don't know that she was in her 40's though??Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbump
Just giving it to you straight here - I would buy a lottery ticket instead of expecting to be a OHW at 40.
I think egg donors are going to be by far and away your best bet. I understand the temptation to want a minime but in reality even when you get a DD naturally there's no guarantee of that. My daughter looks just like my husband (has same coloring as me but I could have got that from an egg donor) And my stepcousin's daughter looks like her mother in law (it's really crazy because my stepcousin is Mexican with black hair and dark skin, and her daughter is blonde and blue eyed.)
What is OHW ladies? Pardon my ignorance. ;)
One hit wonder = getting pregnant first cycle without much effortQuote:
Originally Posted by 1moregirl
[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602] completes our family![emoji170]
Yes a million cycles in my late 30's I always said my stopping point is 40 no matter what I will never ever ever cycle after 40 as you might as well just open the window and just let the money fly out. But anyone who's done HT will tell you it's not that easy to stop the more you do it the closer you get you can just taste it and then you get the rug taken from under you and it's terrible!!Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
I had ONLY two transfers after 40, and bam 2 daughters at 40 and 42, I am now 43 with an 8 week old. I will say though I had good ovarian reserve and that's what kept me going...there are a lot of factors to consider when cycling at such an advanced age..
Well I got pregnant easily when I was 40 naturally and gave birth 2 months prior to turning 41. I've read of it happening quite a lot now - women having babies naturally in their 40s. I've also joined a Facebook page of women in their 40s having babies. Some are conceiving naturally and others are using donor eggs. And even if you do have a low ovarian reserve that doesn't mean that you can't conceive naturally.
Thanks for sharing Jany. I admire your perseverance and determination. Your girls are gorgeous!
Thanks for your honesty too Atomic and your story 1moregirl. I think I would do donor eggs but my husband is totally against it. I won't get into the irony as he had 3 kids before meeting me that I already care for and they aren't genetically mine either! However, he is totally just considering all of this for me and I am blown over that he would even contemplate a third child with me at our ages and in our circumstances so I have to respect his thoughts. Just because he is considering it doesn't make it the right thing to do. If it were legal here and I could fit it in around my life more perhaps I would try 1/2 times to know if tried but to head off to the US would be £40K to go twice and that's totally unfeasable.
This is so hard. I feel as if the only realistic thing to do is to try and find some peace and forget about having a daughter. But I just don't know how.
Would you give swaying a good shot [emoji166] and hope you'll get your little girl[emoji176]Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbump
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I just don't know. I've seen so many failed sways. And much as a third son would of course be very much loved, the void I feel is for a daughter. I am still breastfeeding my baby anyway so I have some time to decide. But not much, being so flipping ancient ��
40 is the new 20 ;-) you still have time I've read some pretty good sways for girls it can still happen ♡♡ I hope it'll be you next :-)
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Thank you. That means a lot. I feel pretty lonely in this. X
We're here to support you I really pray you find peace and happiness in whatever decision you make :-)
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But we're not talking about conceiving naturally, we are talking about doing IVF/PGD and that is just not good results at 40. Not only are way, way less eggs retrieved, they're more likely to be abnormals, end in miscarriage, and with PGD for gender you lose half of them because they're the wrong gender right from the get go. And that first cycle can be almost a practice cycle anyway because often even young women don't conceive from the first one, the doctor many times needs time to tweak the medication to see what you respond best to.Quote:
Originally Posted by 1moregirl
I got my daughter at 42 and I am not trying to deter anyone from TTC naturally over 40. But unless a person has unlimited financial resources, ya may as well light a pile of money on fire and dance around it naked while praying for a baby girl to descend from the heavens on a cloud of pink glitter as expect to get pregnant from one cycle over 40 using your own eggs. It can happen but I would certainly not bank on it!
:agree: THIS!! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by more pink
Ok, I hear ya Atomic! I only asked if anyone had ever heard of a 40 year old OHW, I don't think I'm under any illusions! And if I was in certainly not now!!! I might try the dance thing tho ;)
You're the greatest support here for sure[emoji12]Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
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I had 3 of my 4 children over 40.......and arguably (by start stats!) I was a IVF/PDG OHW at 44 but sadly m/c at 9 weeks (it was only a FISH tested embie though), so it can happen....I went on to do a tanden cycle and also amazingly got one healthy fully tested XX but decided to put back two (mine and a donor FISH tested embie, as had promised DH this was it and we'd walk away). I had no idea how shocking the stats were when I decided to go this route considering I had concerived my DSs so easily and naturally over 40. It was only when HRC initially refused to treat me because of age and pre-testing (Dr P subsequently agreed to after my M/C and Savvas gave me a 10% chance that the penny started to drop). Anyway, my DD was born when I was 45 and is now 2, so it can happen. However, I do think luck played a huge part in all of this, but if I hadn't of tried I'd never have known and would always wondered wtat if.....and she is the best thing that has ever happened. Good luck xxx
I have been around on the HT boards for a while, and can only remember one true OHW at age 40.. so it is possible, but highly unlikely as atomic and others have described. I can think of another 2 ladies (ever hopeful included) who have been successful 2nd time round (the other one was almost 40 at the time)... there obviously may have been others too, but these are the ones I remember. It is a huge gamble at any age, but more so at 38+ and certainly 40+ (but not impossible). If you are seriously considering trying IVF/PGD with your own eggs, then you should def. plan on at least 2-3 cycles, and choose your clinic carefully. If you are on the fence about it then it might be worth spending some $ in order to get pretesting done at least, as this will give you a better idea of ovarian reserve, and therefore a better guess at your chances of success (still no guarantee though obviously, even with good test results). Good luck xx
It can and does happen. I had my first at 36, my second at 38 and my third at 40 (2months prior to turning 41). I also got pregnant first month of trying last year in June but did miscarry at 10 weeks. It definitely can happen but there may just be a extra miscarriage or two before you hit a good egg.
Again, I feel like there is a hint of confusion here and just need to clarify we are NOT talking about natural conceptions, we are talking about IVF.
I would be the world's most ginormous hypocrite ever deterring anyone from TTC over 40 since I did it myself.
Thank you ladies for all your input. Please don't worry Atomic, I understand 1moregirl is talking about natural conception and I understand the chances of conceiving are totally different.
I guess I am assuming that if we tried naturally again it would work, having fallen pregnant easily with both my sons aged 35 and 38. I turned 40 in December, so I am at the optimistic side of my 40s. The question is really if HT is worth a shot at all.
I am still feeding my 7 month old so I can't really test anything yet but I think I'll see how fertile I am and decide if it's worth potentially having 1/2 tries at HT, even if just to know I had a go and gave it my all. It's such a hard thing when potentially we could try natural and have a girl relatively easily. My sister is pregnant with a girl after 2 boys. My other sister had a girl last year after a boy. A mum at school just had a daughter after 2 sons. It does happen. It's a risk tho. Of course a son would be loved and cherished but it is a daughter I am dreaming of.
Ever hopeful, those are the two clinics I am looking at. How did you find them compared to each other? I must admit I never considered I wouldn't be accepted...
Do the clinics consider the man's age at all or just the woman's?
No, they don't consider men's age, as certainly wasn't mentioned to me (DH is 4 years older than me), your DH will have to do some pre-testing though......I didn't actually get to talk to Dr P initially (hadn't found this wonderful site then) just contacted HRC after coming accross them on-line and was advised by the co-ordinator that I was realistically too old to give it a shot at 44 with my own eggs - my AMH was also pretty low (age appropriate though), so I didn't pursue with US and moved to Cyprus (initially looked at North) and then found Genesis. You are younger though. Savvas was always very honest with me and gave me low odds at the outset (he doesn't with lots of people though). I think if you can afford HRC and get logistics to work I would give them a go above Genesis - cost isn't actually that different, although travel and logistics obviously are a little more complicated. Dr P's stats are great at the moment and knowing what I know now, on balance think I'd choose HRC over Genesis, despite the fact that without Savvas I wouldn't have my DD (reason I went back for a 2nd cycle to Genesis was because he had got me pg against all of the odds first time, so I thought he could do it again and at the time, there were a few no transfers at HRC - and this was my last shot). However, over 40, you really need to stop feeding asap and get your pre-testing done and, if all is ok, ideally aim to do this quickly as each month can make a difference - even if you do ER sooner and then wait a few months until you are ready to go back for a FET if you are lucky and get healthy XXs. Good luck xx
Thanks for that Atomic. I really got confused about the whole topic I think and obviously trying to just let Bigbump know that it certainly is possible to conceive naturally at 40. I didn't realise that the stats and that all the other ladies were talking about were IVF OHW. IVF is certainly out of my area so I will bow out of the discussion gracefully now and just wish Bigbump all the best of luck in being successful in getting a little girl no matter what path she embarks on to achieve it. Good luck Bigbump. :)
Thanks 1moregirl and best of luck to you too. Xx
i am going to be in a similar situation with trying IVF/PGD close to 40 (39 probably) and also breastfeeding and not wanting to stop until i really have to. can someone advise what is the minimum time you have to have stopped breastfeeding before you can do this procedure? or is it you must stop a certain about of time before pre-testing?
Wattle I think you're best off asking this in the HT forums, I am not totally sure and they'll know more accurately than me.
You have to completely stop BF, wait for AF, then get pretesting done with next AF. So the actual timeframe depends on how quickly your natural cycle returns after completely stopping breastfeeding, which can be different for everyone. But baby should be a minimum of 6 months old too.
You must be completely finished with BF (and also not be on hormonal birth control) in order to have pretesting done and/or begin a IVF cycle.
Hope that helps :)