whats OHW?
whats OHW?
ONE HIT WONDER :)
i feel exactly like youguys, if i dont have a son, im unsuccessful, weak. or my husband isnt man enough.
I also feel like God has plans and has planned all this. with my stomach problems lately, so close to attempt, ive been telling my dh that maybe its Gods way of telling me im not meant for a son and/or this surely isnt the way to do it.
in the end, i hope im happy.
YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT HERE. What ruins people's lives is worrying too much about what others think and spending your life living outside of yourself in that manner rather than actually LIVING YOUR LIFE.Quote:
Originally Posted by SpicyTunaSushi
If people think we are weak or our DH's aren't "manly" enough to make girls, then it is a shame that they are so shallow and close-minded, and well, retarded, in my opinion, and I could not care LESS because I know my girls are the bomb-diggety and people should only hope to have children as wonderful as mine are! (And ALL of our children are this wonderful, you guys know what I mean!) I have known several families in my life with 3 or more all girls, and those girls were super awesome. I don't know, this whole process, this whole journey has really changed my perspective, I'll tell ya. I don't even see gender anymore....I see PEOPLE.
It is also important to keep in mind that your DH can't control how many X or Y sperm he has....he likely has a nice 50/50 split, and the winner of the race is the winner, plain and simple. Don't let this CHAUVINISTIC society influence and poison your feelings about your children or you DH or his balls or for pete's sake, your ability as a woman to bear "good" children. Our kids may have vaginas, but DAMMIT, they can rule this world if they wanted to just like any man out there. They may never be linebackers (well, I hope not for their sake!), but they can be the President, they can be an Olympic athlete, they can be the next Steve Jobs.....they can do anything, and they need us to teach them that.Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmo77
(I'm just trying to shake my GIRL POWER fist here! I lived with a man -ex-husband- who hated women....information that would have been helpful BEFORE we got married, right???.....and he was mad as hell both times we ended up with girls. He took a liking to DD1 because he thought he could turn her into a tomboy, but when DD2 came along, it was somehow my fault that she was a girl, and he suddenly blamed me for his new life with "all women." I can remember rocking DD2 to sleep in her room, thinking that we were the two in exile there....that he would be happier if we both weren't there. Lucky for me, I made that happen and took both of them with me, of course. Anyway....I digress.....but my point is- we cannot let our daughters suffer from persecution because they are girls, especially coming from US!)
Hi...I haven't posted on here since announcing my BFP.
I just found out i'm expecting dd3...after swaying & praying. I don't know how to move on...dd2 was a shettles opposite & this one was a hardcore sway & lots of praying & was pregnant during 1st attempt....really really thought this was my boy...but you get what you are given.
You know Job had 3 daughters too :) And 7 sons ... so a little more balanced there than I'll ever be, LOL. It's so odd to me that I worry so much about other's perception of me/DH when it comes to the gender of our children. By and large in my life I don't fret a bit about what other people have to say about us, but on this issue, for some reason, I care. But I am starting to care less about it, I really am, because while these are MY kids, they do not define ME. Or my DH.Quote:
Originally Posted by SpicyTunaSushi
I love that you brought up Martha Stewart, for example ... I also think about the Clinton's. Hillary is no shrinking violet, LOL. Michelle Obama certainly seems to hold her own as well. With biceps like that you'd think she'd be makin' some sons :) And a woman I truly, greatly admire here in our community for all of her outstanding service has three daughters, who she (and her DH) have raised to also be amazing contributors. No one would dare to question her or her husband's strengths. Like you I have always been a fairly dominant female, both in athletic endeavors and my career. As an adult I think this is likely the only "goal" I've had that I haven't "made happen" ... but again, it wasn't ever really up to me, and I need to remember that.
I was thinking earlier tonight about how when DH and I first talked about having kids, before we had them, what we hoped for in raising them, and none of it was about raising an NFL player. It was about raising people who contributed to our society through their God given talents and a servant's heart, who had compassion for others, who were generous with their time and money, who felt loved by us and loved by God. I'm pretty sure that we can accomplish all (well, we sure can try anyhow; they're rather lofty goals!) of our parenting goals with the three daughters we've been blessed with. Tonight I feel good about it. Tonight I feel like it really is going to be OK if we never have a son. Not saying I think I'm over it, but I'm happy to be having one of those times where I feel like it really is going to be OK. Better than OK. It's going to be great :) Yes ... a son would have been fun for us. It would have been different for us. But this isn't really about me and what I want when it comes down to it. It's about this child (and my other lovely DD's!) and I have to remember that. Focus, Begonia, Focus :)
I don't know what's up but I'm having issues with quoting ... but Gizmo, re: trying to figure out what God is telling you ... well I think that is super hard, except sometimes in retrospect, KWIM? If you really want to you can always find a "sign" about the decision you're trying to make. I know the month I got pg I thought it was a "sign" because of getting my +OPK on my birthday, like a gift from God so to speak, as a "this is it! this is your boy!" And it wasn't. It was just a sign I was ovulating, LOL, and it happened to line up with my birthday. My 33rd when I was TTC my 3rd baby. All good things. But she's a girl! But you know ... maybe that was all meant to be anyway. Maybe that was His plan all along, and it was MY plan that was never correct in the first place.
Anyhow I know I ended up making that about me but what I'm trying to say is don't look too hard for a sign/signal/whatever from God. Pray about it. Trust your instinct. If you think the stomach problems will give you something to look back on and say "I should have listened!" then forgo the attempt, I think. I do think you'll end up happy, I really do. I think for most of us GD is VERY real, but also not a lifetime sentence. And girl you may still get your BOY yet!!! FX!
Amen Lola!Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaInLove
I think it's rad that you called your girls the bomb-diggety. Talk about a descriptive phrase in need of making a comeback :) You crack me up. But you're right about the seeing people not gender thing ... it's exactly what I was talking about in an earlier post on this thread tonight. All of our hopes DH and I had for our children can be met by our girls.Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaInLove
Oh Sunny. I am OBVIOUSLY dealing with what you're dealing with. It is VERY hard to move on, no lie. I have known for about 2 weeks that I have DD3 on board and I am definitely still processing. Good moments and bad moments all day long. It is hard. I too had a hardcore sway, I really, REALLY thought it would work. I knew (and I'm sure you did too) that swaying wasn't a 100%, not even really 80%, but I just had felt for really, all of my life, that I was somehow meant to have a son. When I pictured "my" kids I pictured boys.Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnyebsh
But ... as we're all learning ... what we "picture" isn't some kind of crystal ball showing us our future. That little boy of mine with the blonde hair who grows up to be a totally awesome left-handed basketball forward in high school like his daddy? That was never my son. It just wasn't. And even if we had a son he might've liked drama instead of sports. And that would've been Ok, I would've loved him anyhow I'm sure ... but anyhow ... he wasn't real. I have a BFF in real life who truly is grieving the death of her real-life, loved him and had him for 4 short years, son. I keep her in mind often because THAT is real life. I am not in any way saying our pain isn't real. It totally is. It is legitimate. But we do need to bear in mind that this loss we feel is the loss of a dream. It helps me with perspective when I feel like I'm so sad about it I can't breathe. I have 2 gorgeous kids I can physically hold. And they happen to be girls. So what. I thank God they are here and they are healthy and I am so happy I get to have one more. Yes ... I wanted a son. Yes, I wish I was pregnant with him. But I can't spend my time wishing for things all day long or I'll miss all these precious moments NOW.
I hope so much that you can grieve some and move on quickly. It is a process to let go of that dream, it really is, and I encourage you to vent here. This thread and these women have been BEYOND helpful to me. Obviously it would be great if none of us needed it and all our sways worked, but ... that's not reality either. So here we are. And we're going to get through this! Pregnancy hormones DO NOT make this emotional rollercoaster any easier to ride so do try to be gracious with yourself. HUGS to you.
[QUOTE=begonia;86866]Oh Sunny. I am OBVIOUSLY dealing with what you're dealing with. It is VERY hard to move on, no lie. I have known for about 2 weeks that I have DD3 on board and I am definitely still processing. Good moments and bad moments all day long. It is hard. I too had a hardcore sway, I really, REALLY thought it would work. I knew (and I'm sure you did too) that swaying wasn't a 100%, not even really 80%, but I just had felt for really, all of my life, that I was somehow meant to have a son. When I pictured "my" kids I pictured boys.
But ... as we're all learning ... what we "picture" isn't some kind of crystal ball showing us our future. That little boy of mine with the blonde hair who grows up to be a totally awesome left-handed basketball forward in high school like his daddy? That was never my son. It just wasn't. And even if we had a son he might've liked drama instead of sports. And that would've been Ok, I would've loved him anyhow I'm sure ... but anyhow ... he wasn't real. I have a BFF in real life who truly is grieving the death of her real-life, loved him and had him for 4 short years, son. I keep her in mind often because THAT is real life. I am not in any way saying our pain isn't real. It totally is. It is legitimate. But we do need to bear in mind that this loss we feel is the loss of a dream. It helps me with perspective when I feel like I'm so sad about it I can't breathe. I have 2 gorgeous kids I can physically hold. And they happen to be girls. So what. I thank God they are here and they are healthy and I am so happy I get to have one more. Yes ... I wanted a son. Yes, I wish I was pregnant with him. But I can't spend my time wishing for things all day long or I'll miss all these precious moments NOW.
I hope so much that you can grieve some and move on quickly. It is a process to let go of that dream, it really is, and I encourage you to vent here. This thread and these women have been BEYOND helpful to me. Obviously it would be great if none of us needed it and all our sways worked, but ... that's not reality either. So here we are. And we're going to get through this! Pregnancy hormones DO NOT make this emotional rollercoaster any easier to ride so do try to be gracious with yourself. HUGS to you.[/QUOTE)
Begonia, well said, you are so right.
Sunny im sorry you feel this way, hope it gets easier for you.
Dd1 :ballerina: Dd2 :giggle:
Hi Sunny, big big healing hugs xxxxxQuote:
Originally Posted by sunnyebsh
Helloim new here did a couple of posts on neesing helpttc a boy! I have 5 GIRLS who are 11, 7, 2, 1 & 6months old. With my first two girls theywere unplannes and it did not matter what the gender was. But when we finally planned to have a third child i wanted a boy of course. I found out what i was having and it didnt bother me that much that i was having another daughter. After she was born i knew i wanted another try. I was hoping it would be the gender i wanted. But it was a girl. I was disappointes and sad. I just couldnt wait to have her to try again. Well when she was 3 months old i was pregnant and went for the early ultrasound and it was a girl. All i did was cry! Asking why i couldnt just have one boy i still ask why! I wanted to find out the gender before she.was born because i.felt like if i waited till she was born to hear girl i wouldve had the ost partum.depression
Of coure i was unhappy that she was a girl.and said some things shouldnt but as months past i got over it and asked myself why did i say those things i should b happy that she is healthy and has no medical.problems. when i gave birth i was so happy and excited. I still do want a bot and i am determined to have one. My husband wants a boy but not as badly as i do. He can go on without having a son but unfortunetly i cannot. So we r trying again in january. I just hate how people say oh wow u have 5girls so when r u going to stop having kids cuz ull never get a boy. That just makes me mad. So im hoping my next will b a boy but im so scared that i will b disappointed. But i love all my kids and i love having them i just feel uncomplete with not having a son. I dont know why i feel likethat. But found this site and i realize im not alone.
no my5, you are defly not alone. ppl are starting to say that abuout me. it hurts more so when its FAMILY that say it. same here dh doesnt care for a boy as much as me but i dunno i think deep down he does..who knows. lately he s tired o fthe "drama" from y 3yr old and 1.5 yr old so yeah these days he says boy boy boy (not that boys are easier as babies!!). but i hear ya. i hope all our sways work and if not i hope that we become comfortable with what God (or whatever you believe in) has given you. always remmeber (this is what helps me) like you said at least there are no long term diabilities in our kids or at eleast we are able to have kids! good luck!
Thanks!! Sometimes i do belive that god has given me 5 girls but for what reason andnpurpose is what i want to kno!? Then sometimes i believe its just a fifty fifty chance of being a boy or girl!! Some of my family says ghe same yhing but then others say go for the boy. But im going to do wat feels best for me! Well good luck and i hope ur sway works! What r u doing for ur sway if u dont mind me aski.g? Im new and trying to get a good sway going before january!!
Definately not alone xx I have 4 girls right now and very well could end up with 5 too!!Quote:
Originally Posted by my5girls
5girls, Gizmo ... isn't it interesting how many of us are MUCH more impassioned about TTC boy than our DH's? My DH really won't lose any sleep over having girl #3. He's said sure, he'd love a son, but he doesn't get to pick so why get all worked up about it? He's very happy our kiddos are healthy and that's enough for him. Thank goodness bc I think if both of us had GD it would be really tough. He's been such a great rock and source of perspective for me.
Me, I want a boy. Always have, and probably always will, because I doubt we'll TTC a #4.
5, I've read several of your birth stories and know you didn't have GD with DD4 ... do you think you would with another DD, if that happened? Or do you think you've made your peace with it? I think I will make my peace with my GD with this 3rd DD but I do think if I did get pg again, the longing for a son would resurface and I'd have to go through healing all over again if I had DD4.Quote:
Originally Posted by TTC5
I will be a bit sad and disappointed for sure but I don't think I will feel how I did the 3rd time around *fingers crossed*. Gosh, I felt awful, so bad I remember thinking and saying things I won't even repeat here because I am so ashamed of myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by begonia
I keep bringing myself and hubby back to reality but saying things such as "If this sway doesn't work, it is one determined girl"... and he laughs along with me.. things like that.
carbs + protein at every meal, eating about every 2- hrs. lots of potassium, salt, BSD af-o, and weight training. im in 2ww so if i get bfp, illpost my sway. its very similar i think to what most ppl are doing here.Quote:
Originally Posted by my5girls
I hope nobody EVER feels like that! It's just not true and if it ever was true, that is a world that no longer exists and I am SO glad to see it go.Quote:
Originally Posted by gizmo77
There is another scientific theory out there that complements the TW stuff and it is called "the Priviledged Daughter" theory...basically if your body "thinks" your daughter will be socially dominant, strong, and successful, you are more likely to conceive one.
For some reason, a lot of people find that number 2 and/or 3 are harder than the subsequent kids. It's like something shifts and you just make your peace with it and go on from there. So even if you have extreme GD (which I practically did with DS 3) you can get past it and go onto have a change of heart and even welcome another of the same gender.Quote:
Originally Posted by TTC5
I keep reminding myself of that privileged daughter thing whenever I feel particularly low about it. The fact is our girls are certainly kicking off life with circumstances that should allow them to be just that ... dominant, confident, successful women. Granted there's a lot to go between birth and adulthood to get them there, but the odds are in their favor that they will be women to be reckoned with :)Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
And I appreciate the reply TTC5 and Atomic re: GD as you have more and more of the same gender. I grieved much quicker with DD2 than I have with this one; I think part of it is this one I really, really believed was going to be our son, not just for the sway, but also because my whole life I've thought I'd have a son. But like I said in another post, that wasn't a crystal ball showing me my future. It was just a hope. And I've come a long way in letting that go, what I struggle with more now is just the reality of never having a son. I do think I'd run into that again if we TTC#4 eventually, and until I can get to a place where I genuinely want four kids and NOT just a son ... we shouldn't TTC. If we want 4 but only if it's a boy, then we will probably adopt.
Another thing I also am still struggling with is the whole fertility thing, because darn it we have never had to TTC, other than just BD unprotected. And bam we make a baby. Where I struggle with that is it has made me feel like I/we somehow "control" when we get pregnant, and that I/we somehow should have tried a different month. But there's no going back and I can't change that. It's just one thing that I have a very hard time letting go of ... in a weird way I wish it had taken us a couple of tries, or been an accident, so I at least could've felt like it was luck, not something I actually planned. But then I keep reminding myself that this child (in my mind, at least) was meant to be ours, I do think she was planned by God long before I "planned" her, so ... it doesn't really matter when we TTC. We would have still ended up with her, and I'm completely sure we'll adore her and she'll bring something super special to our family that we need.
But darn it all, I feel like throwing a 2 year old style tantrum about not getting what I wanted, LOL. I'm having a hard time with again this evening bc DH said something today about hoping for a boy, and while I know he'll be happy having DD3, can't deny the many would have loved the chance to be a dad to a son. And I so badly wanted him to have that :(
Big hugs B.. gosh I wish he knew so you could grieve with him. Seeing him hold hope must be killing you, you are so much stronger than me!!
I agree with this.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
I have G B G G G. When I found out #4 was a girl I was very upset and disappointed, and when I found out #5 was a girl I was upset but I accepted it more.
But I've never swayed before.
I'm worried if I do sway and still get a girl I might blame myself for not swaying good enough.
Oh how I hope this is me. I wonder though did you ever want boys to begin with? Because I never even would have picked ONE girl and now I will have 3, and I don't know how to get over that. Today I am so miserable about having 3 daughters that I could barely breathe at one point. I took my girls to a H'ween party and saw a family with 3 girls and it almost made me physically sick and I am sure most people thought they were precious (and they were), all dressed alike, but I couldn't stand the thought that that will be MY family makeup. Today, I regret getting pregnant at all. Today I wish I had just been happy with 2 kids and not ever wanted a third; I was OK with 2 girls. Three girls? It has made me sometimes even look at the 2 daughters I have, who I couldn't possibly love more than I do, with a detachment that I can't understand. Today I honestly have a hard time understanding why some people even want ONE girl. Today I'm REALLY mad at God...today is definitely one of my worst GD days ever, it has been since the moment I got up, and I don't know why.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
But I keep telling myself I can get through today and it'll get better. This won't last forever. But TODAY has just flat out sucked. I wish I hadn't of swayed because for me, it really got my hopes up ... I knew it wasn't near 100% but I wanted to believe so badly that I would have a son that I DID believe it. And that has made this all the harder to bear.
I kinda think as much as I want to see so many people here through their TTC and pregnancies I just need to quit coming. I keep thinking that but it has been hard to commit because I do feel so connected and supported and encouraged here, but also ... it's just HARD to come here and see other people who still have a shot at their dream, and mine's OVER. Today is a bad day but I've had so many good ones that I know it'll be OK in the long run. All the best to everyone :kiss:
I am so sorry B:( Know that we are thinking about you and sending GD healing vibes to you, Hun. :HH: lots of love during this hard time. Do what you need to do~ xoxo
Wish I could reach through and give you a real hug, B.
You will survive this and come out the other end just fine, I promise. For now, take each day as it comes and if that means crying to the heavens and back and feeling angry so be it. Your allowed to!
You brought tears to my eyes B. I hope that your pain will ease and each day will get better. Thinking of you xx
Begonia - I'm so sorry you are having a rough time with GD. Sending you lots of gentle hugs.
I'm so sorry you are feeling like this :( Very big hugs to you.
Can I ask why you didn't want any girls?
Before I had children I never really had a thought of what I wanted. I just knew I wanted to be a mum. I always have.
I thought that I would never be able to get pregnant cause I wanted it to so much.
I have 4 girls now and 1 boy and I like it, if i had to choose. I would prefer 4 girls over 4boys. I just picture it when they are all teenagers and I think girls will be better then boys for some reason. I just don't know how I would deal with 4 teen boys fighting and punch ups etc. I also feel that when I become a grandmother I feel more comfortable being involved with my daughters pregnancies and babies. I do hope that my Daughter in law would let me be a part of it all but there is something special about a mother daughter bond when she becomes a mother herself. Hope that makes sense.
I think this is way harder on you because your DH doesn't know. Way harder because he talks about having a boy and you don't have your partner to lean on right now and this would fall under the better or worse category. So, on top of your own feeling and emotions, you have his to worry about too. That is a lot to take on.Quote:
Originally Posted by begonia
I read somewhere on this thread about it meaning your DH is not manly if they have only girls- something to that effect. I understand that statement. I NEVER believed that about my DH but I absolutely thought outsiders would be thinking that. He wasn't man enough to have a son. Of course, I have come to learn that that is ridiculous and worrying about what anyone outside us thinks is ridiculous too.
My DH said something to me once that really stuck when I was fretting over what someone else thought of something about our family- he said nobody gives a $hit about us and our family dynamics. People only care about themselves. And it's really true. I think a big part of GD is all of the worrying about what others think of our family, what others might assume or being saying about us and nobody really cares about anyone but themselves, worries about anyone but themselves at the end of the day. Of course we "care" for one another but I mean really get so involved you think about them too much caring type caring.
I had read your post before taking my eldest daughter to basketball practice this morning and all your posts really hit home with me as a mom of 3 DDs. I KNOW your pain and I have lived it so I know where you are right now and it is really hard. The comments, the stupid things people say, so I know where you are right now and it is so hard to see past right now when you are in that moment.
Anyway, walking into practice, the early group was leaving the gym(K-2nd grade girls) and the doors to the gym open and out comes these large strapping dads(some play professional sports) out with their little DDs. It was precious. These big guys with these little girls in their jerseys just having finished practice. I thought of you. I thought if you could just "see" what I see, see a few years down the road, see all of the possibilities that lie ahead for you, your DH and your DDs, I hope you would begin to smile.
I promise, PROMISE, it gets better. Take time to grieve what you did not get this time- you deserve that and you should not dismiss your feelings either. But once you start to get past it, and you will, I hope you are able to go forward with those 3 girls and make them 3 strong women. I think in this day and age, being a woman is so powerful and I can't wait to see all of the opportunities available to them when they are adults.
I really think you should explore HT if you can. I am so glad you are posting your feelings because this is why I wanted to make sure there was still a place to discuss all of this and I know from experience that you need an outlet to vent. If you are not going to let DH in on it, you need to keep posting or I would find a therapist to help you process your feelings and see your way through this.
Let us help you. We all understand. I wish I could take away your pain but your DD will fill a piece of the puzzle in your family. She will. I also recommend getting a copy of Heaven is For Real- It's a great read.
I don't know but my girls are not like this for sure. Or at least not yet! So I really hope I don't get any more "privileged daughters"!lolQuote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
begonia-Im sorry you feel so sad!XX I had the same thing big bad GD with DD3 because i also believed she is a boy for sure.
It was a lot easier with DD4 somehow. No big GD at all.
See maybe you remember I said we just don't know how would we feel until after we find out what is it. Because I said I only want a boy and ppl where telling me not to ttc and take a break if I can't be ok with another girl.
Well it's not like that! You just can't tell how would you feel!
I hope this will get easier for you soon! I know it is hard! Look at me I got 4 girls!! But you will love this baby too only it's hard to imagine things now , but it is easier after she is born and there is a real life baby to hold.
hugs
Thank you for your perspective on it LBAM! My reasons are many, LOL ... most of them due to my mom and my childhood, her relationship with her mom and her sisters, etc. And of course, the dreaded middle school/high school girl drama ... that I now get to go through 3x, all over again, except it'll be even more painful because I have to watch my beloved daughters endure it. Ugh. It's enough to *almost* make me homeschool. Oh and heavens, I can say 100% I could have lived a happy life not having to buy tampons in bulk, or getting training bras, or navigating girls swimwear that is designed to make 10 year olds look like 22 year olds ... I mean honestly, I feel like the minefields of raising daughters are everywhere. Not right this minute, but in the years to come. Right now I have sweet kiddos. And they might remain sweet, but even if they do ... the world around them will definitely steal that innocence. I don't think my brother had near the number of issues I had to deal with. And man, at least ONE of our kids could have gotten the dreaded "your changing body" and "birds and bees" discussions from their dad if we had a boy. Now I get THAT three times too. Blah.Quote:
Originally Posted by love being a mummy
Anyhow, I love my girls right now (and will in the future obviously), and at this age I don't see a ton of difference in raising boys/girls. But from about age 12-22?!? I think raising girls will be 1000 times harder. Just my perspective though. Maybe I'm just not seeing the hard parts of raising boys; I'm sure there are some there as well, I just feel overwhelmed with all I see ahead of my girls.
You're for sure right on that Flava. Never would have ever thought I'd feel this bad. I do know I'll love this baby, I am sure I'll be thrilled with her. But I'm just terrified of raising THREE daughters, mostly for all the reasons I said above. I felt like boys would be easier in so many ways.Quote:
Originally Posted by Flava
I need to check on the thread and see how your attempt is ... can't recall what DPO you are now but know you tried last week. FX for you!
NBP I appreciate so much how much time/thought you've put into talking through this with me; I know you've been there and it helps so much to hear your perspective. Your posts definitely help. DH did find out with me today. He's great; grinned ear to ear and started laughing, because really, he finds the fact that we're "3 for 3" as he puts it pretty funny. He's excited.
But also still fully aware of how upset I am. He said maybe we're just supposed to have a 4th, but I feel like God's said no to me on this prayer 3 times, so maybe I should take the hint. I have read Heaven is For Real; really is amazing. I guess in some ways it made me feel even more like this baby was out of my control anyway, which is a good thing since I keep blaming myself for trying in June instead of waiting til fall. But why God wants us to have three girls when my heart so desperately wanted boys?!?! That I don't know. I guess one day I will. I appreciate having 3 healthy pregnancies and children and am grateful for it, you know? It's not like I don't see the blessing that is when I'm surrounded my friends who can't say the same, either infertility, or terminally ill kids ... I'm totally aware that 3 healthy babies is a win. Which makes the GD even harder to bear because I'm so annoyed with myself for not being able to be like my DH, and just loving that we get another kiddo. And I know I don't have to explain it to women here because you get it, but I flat-out ADORE my girls. I love them to pieces. I will love this next one too. But for all those reasons I listed in response to why I didn't want daughters ... I'm not looking forward to raising them through all those times that girls go through. We'll get through it. But it won't be easy. And I'll have to go through it 3 times now instead of just two.
I worry about going HT because I guess I'm concerned that it won't make having 3 daughters any easier for me, KWIM? I don't know if that would help my GD or hurt it; if having him would make me wish I'd had more boys, or if I'd compare my girls to him, etc. I just don't know. I hate thinking that we will never have a son, but I also can't picture myself raising 4 children.
Anyhow ... now I'm in a weird place because I know, DH knows, but I haven't told any friends yet. I feel embarrassed that we're going to be an all girl family. I need to get to a place where when people say something like "I'm sorry you didn't get your boy" I can reply with "I'm thrilled to have a third daughter" and mean it. Because right now I would probably say "Me too" and dissolve into tears.
Thanks again to everyone here; I know I've said it but I genuinely appreciate all the support and encouragement. I hope one day I can come back and encourage someone else who is having GD over having daughters.
begonia- im 6dpo and not feeling it at all. I just really think bfn this time. We are done for sure no more ttc for me.
I guess I also have to take that hint what your DH said about the gender...we tried for that boy so long now and got 6 losses and 2 girls. So yeah I better wake up.
Did you tell hubby, Begonia?
There is nothing to be embarrassed about, you wait and see when people see 3 gorgeous girls all lined up they will be in AWE! I get it alot, people always comment on how beautiful "our girls" are! Be proud hunny, and hey if you want to reply with "me too" do it, and have a good cry!!!!