Itīs fantastic! thanks a lot!!!
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Itīs fantastic! thanks a lot!!!
Ohhhhh thank GOODNESS I don't have to stress about pinpointing O, as I am one of those women who really don't have very obvious signs of O' ing. One less thing to stress about while swaying! One up for hopefully lowering T levels!
It is often the frequency that is swaying, not the day you DTD on. ??????? So for a pink sway so I dtd every day or abstain ?? Im confused - for my 3 boys i think we dtd every 2nd day or less right up to ov
Yes, for a pink sway you would have your husband release every day for 7-10 days before your attempt OR abstain for 7-10 days before an attempt OR have him release 2-3 times a day for 2-3 days before an attempt OR have him release once, throw it away, then have your attempt as soon as he is able to DTD again (within 1-6 hours).
DTD every second day is ideal for a boy.
What about DTD every second day WHILE DH continues to release on the non-DTD in between days? This thought occurred to me since sperm stays alive for a little bit but would help keep count within low but still decent timing for pregnancy?
I.e. instead of daily bd after fr, after FR for 7-10 days, to DTD one day, he releases the next day, you DTD the third day, etc, until O (if you are BDing through o, anyway)?
Yep, that's fine! I do think it's probably best to give it at least one month doing a strict sway with just one attempt just to see if you can conceive that way (most people won't be able to, esp. if they're doing a lot of other things to sway) before you add in multiple attempts.Quote:
Originally Posted by suregena
If I can get a positive OPK, I might do just one attempt. If I were, do I jump and dump?
My weight is just sitting and not drastically lower than my conception weight with my son, so trying to not get down about it but have to TTC this month...
i don't have alot of faith in timing ladies. all my girls were conceived on o day. finally my little man was conceived either 5 days before o with a 14 day abstance ( we had a new baby in the house and i was breastfeeding and tired) 12 months after our dd6 was born we got ds1! i would pay attention to diet then to stress out about timing.
I ~personally~ would not do J and D with one attempt. Give it 5 minutes.Quote:
Originally Posted by suregena
Thank you for this post! It's helpful, and actually encouraging! I HATE the whole timing thing.
Question though:
WHY does frequent release sway girl?
WHY does abstinence sway girl?
I wish I understood the why, so I could feel more confident in these things :)
We actually don't know, but what we do know is that everything that lowers male sperm count (either what DH is shooting, or the survival rates of the swimmers after they're inside the female body) seems to sway pink. FR and abstain both reduce overall numbers of sperm. Fewer sperm seem to sway pink for reasons we do not know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Inky
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...frequency.html
Thanks As, this is the most fantastic essay I have read on this timing that has become too much of a public subject. Timing has been debunked!. My sis has boys and she never actually knows when they were conceived as she DTD all the way after AF. Nice to know it's been overemphasized for too long.
I conceived a boy with a few days abstinence the first time, and then just found our second is going to be a boy also. We had about a 6 or more days abstinence (as in no releases of any sort). I def was not on any other 'swaying' factors at all, and had a predominant boy diet looking back. Do you think that is what is the thing, or that abstinence does not work very strongly for pink. . . . Discovered this site after this conception took place, so I am gearing up to plan a relaxed (by the time it is time) girl sway. =)
cut off 3 days before o with first, and 4 day cut off with this one. But now I see that factor is not relevant! =P
Gosh, I totally thought timing was a huge thing for getting DG. Another reason I'm so pleased I found the site!
This is awesome! I've been so concerned about doing the "right" sway, and since there's so much information out there that is PRO Shettles, I've been so stressed about getting the timing perfectly right. Dieting for a pink sway seems much easier to me and low stress, so I'm all about doing that instead!
Wow, all such good info and encouragement. I'm TTC pink and was becoming very stressed about trying to get the timing right and now I won't worry as much and focus more on other factors. Thank you for sharing all your thoughts and insight :)
This is so interesting! I'm happy to have the weight taken off timing, I definitely feel like that would add WAY more stress. We didn't abstain with either of my two boys and in fact DTD every single day after my +OPK with the second. Should we abstain for a certain amount of time instead this time to sway pink? I've heard of abstaining from AF to O, but hubby is concerned about abstaining for what, in my case, usually amounts to just over two weeks!
Wow somehow I missed a question in this, I'm sorry!Quote:
Originally Posted by 1adorablebabyboymom
I believe that diet matters very strongly and frequency (as in abstinence) really isn't that reliable a sway tactic. One attempt does seem to be getting good results though.
Look over these, they should answer your q's in mind-numbing detail! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Arimethia
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...pink-blue.html
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...frequency.html
If your husband is much over 35 you probably shouldn't do abstain anyway and no one should be abstaining for more than 2 weeks. I prefer yoiu guys stick with 7-10 days. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...over-35-a.html
First off - wonderful essay, I'm so happy to be done with timing. I'm immediately less stressed and don't have plans to Ttc doe many monthsQuote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
BUT! In regards to frequency - my hubby is like a compulsive masturbator lol - no point sugar coating it (eeeew, sorry). I'm so sure he releases every day. (Or did at my last conception) -although after asking point blank he says he can't remember (come one buddy, was it ever day or not??? Easy question!) So diet is going to be me, since dh is really skinny and basically is naturally on this diet, I want to make sure I'm asking the right things of him for his part. Should we be dtd (with condom to not mess with ph) for 7-10 days and ask him to release once on his own too for that 7-10? Dh is 40 this year... But acts 19 lol I'm sure he's "up" for it.... Or should we release or dtd 7-10 days and so this compressed action the last 2-3?
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I think Atomic is suggesting every 4 days now (at least for us older folks), release or bd with a condom, then 1 attempt at positive opk.
I'm sure she'll be along sometime to tell you for sure, though.
Think of frequency, timing, and number of attempts as three separate things. It's YOUR sway, and you and everyone else should include the things that you believe in that make sense to you. Some people may want to start off doing all of them, others none, and all that is ok.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitmebabyonemoretime
What I really really want you guys to focus on the most is the one attempt. The frequency stuff was a guess on my part about what swayed. There's nothing magic to it, I made it up out of my butt on the assumption that it was sperm numbers alone that was swaying, but the numbers haven't borne it out. So I just hate to see you or anyone getting hung up on frequency. We tried it, didn't seem to work out, moving on. I have no qualms about people keeping it in the mix, but it has to be dropped if you don't get pg or in your case, if you're in a hurry to conceive, it may make sense to drop it right from the start in favor of keeping the one attempt.
I can't answer your question about the "magic" frequency pattern, because I don't even think frequency works any more (and I've never thought that all the fine tuning and thought that people put into it was ever effective or a good idea). I do NOT favor tacking a CFR onto a daily release though. If you do want to go this route, I'd either go for one a day for 7-10 days plus one attempt, or alternate days 1 release, than 2, for 7-10 days, plus one attempt.
Most people want to give it a try with frequency + one attempt, then hubby relasing on his own every 2-4 days with one attempt, before jumping right to the BD every 4 days. It depends on a lot of different circumstances.Quote:
Originally Posted by blueeyedguys
Hitme, if you are very late 30's to 40 yourself then I agree I would look seriously about skipping FR and switching to reg. release instead.
Ya. Personal plan is looking better and better. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm 38. I was on the "let him do what he does" plan with one attempt at O.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
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Trying to sway pink question-
Is it better for my husband to abstain from releasing for 7-10 days and then for us to attempt one time when I get a positive ovulation test?
30 yrs old, one DS
I think that anyone with a less than cooperative DH, "let him do what he does" and then keeping the one attempt is a-ok.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitmebabyonemoretime
I am stealing that expression BTW!! :agree:
Unfortunately my crystal ball is in the shop this week and I can't answer questions about what is "better", I just don't have that level of data.Quote:
Originally Posted by CurlyPie
WHatever else ya do, keep the one attempt as long as you can. Drop everything else first.
Atomic - Should I take any antihistamines or cranberry or both?
I answered this in another thread, it is very difficult for me to give individualized advice with little to no info to go off of.
I don't advise cranberry for any woman. IT's not safe and the results have been underwhelming anyway. I used to recommend aspirin but the risks have been shown to be too high to justify the results we were getting.
Antihistamines, also underwhelming results and really cut odds of conception by a lot, and they are not always compatible with people's health issues and medication they are on or if they're breastfeeding. So I can't really say that you should or shouldn't take them. Most people want to give it a try for at least a month or two with them, but you obviously shouldn't if they are not right for you
I am so happy I found this site with all this information you have given to us. I did not know about the frequency vs abstaining, I am so glad I did NOT concieve yet! Because I did not realize this! I'm so glad I know so much now and if I didn't concieve this cycle, and I am ready for my new cycle especially with all the new information I have learned. I am just praying also that it works! Awesome info
Way overwhelmed just joining. What I have read so far it's not timing, frequency ect so basically there is no way to sway
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What makes you say that? It's just the old school theories that are getting tossed out (timing/fr). There is sooo much evidence that maternal condition/diet sways.Quote:
Originally Posted by agilbert21
There's lots to read on here.
How were you thinking of swaying? What is your motivation for checking in on this site? Dreaming pink or blue?
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There is so much info on this site initially its overwhelming and you feel you'll never figure it out. If you really want to attempt a natural sway please perservere and keep reading. I estimate I spent in excess of 10+ hours on internet researching natural gender sway then after finding this site I spent at least that again reading essays, sways of both girl and boy (successful and unsuccessful). It does make sense, maybe walk away for a couple days and come back with a fresh look :). I also ordered a personalised plan with atomic (back in January plan ttc this month) and haven't looked back. She has answered every question no matter how stupid I've thought it was. That was my way of taking out the guesswork. It's up to you what you do and believe I just hope you do more homework before writing this site off. All the best whichever way you go :)Quote:
Originally Posted by agilbert21
Changing your diet in certain ways, exercise, some supplements, limiting yourself to one attempt, and having your husband jog or ride a bicycle have been shown to sway. (among many other things)Quote:
Originally Posted by agilbert21
Would you not prefer to know what actually works instead of doing tons of things that don't??? So many of us on here have 2-3-4 or more opposites doing things the "old" way that we are just trying to figure out a better way for everyone's benefit.
Everyone is always welcome to include whatever sway tactics you would like in your sway. WE are trying to figure out the best ways that are going to get the most people healthy babies the quickest with the least amount of miscarriages, and in order to do that, we have to investigate to know if these things even work at all. Many of them don't.
Bump
Bump
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Ahh, of all of the things, this is the most confusing for me! My estimated conception date is roughly Sept. 17, 2016. We had sex Sept. 5,6, and 9 (all estimated to not be in my fertile window) and incomplete sex Sept. 11 (also not in fertile window, though husband I *think* ejaculated on me? Can't remember).
During my estimated fertile window (based on Ovia fertility app, cervical mucous), we then had sex Sept. 12, 13 and Sept. 17 in missionary positions (and then sex again on Sept. 20).
We're having a girl.
I had thought we might have been doing the deed too often, hence a girl (based on the old Shettles methods)... is it actually that we were not having nearly as much sex as we should have? For a boy, then, is the standard "do the deed every two days starting from first cycle day after period" recommended? Or am I misunderstanding?
Ok, not intending to blah blah blah you to death but again, it's not one thing in isolation that sways. You can't go back and look at this, that, or the other thing and say "ah ha, this is IT" because it's a lot of things working in concert. Now that having been said I agree that you were not DTD enough around ovulation. We find that one attempt is getting us girls (with pink sways, that is) 70-75% of the time, this drops to 60-65%, and all the way down to 40-45% with 3 attempts in the fertile window. This means that people having 3 attempts in their fertile window are getting BOYS nearly 60% of the time even with pink sways. It looks to me like the attempts from the 12th and 13th were too early, leaving you with the one viable attempt on the 17th. Really, I do think that you had some other pink friendly stuff going on in addition to the number of attempts, but it didn't help any, either.
For a boy what is working for us is regular, unprotected sex every 2-4 days and then 3 attempt at or around positive OPK - the method that's been working well for us is the night of positive OPK, again the next morning, and again the following night. (even as many as 5, but you have to be careful that you don't start this too soon in case DH runs out of steam before O)
If you really believe in or want to try timing, then have DH release on his own or with you, with non-spermcide condom or pullout, every 2-4 days, but keep the 3 attempts - night of pos OPK, again the next morning, and again the following night. All these three attempts will still be in a Shettles window for a boy.
Thank you! Even dumber question... should I be keeping this frequency up during the TWW as well? Or is it really only important to start at the beginning of the cycle with AF?Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush