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Yes and I have a huge message typed and it won't send it! [emoji31][emoji31] Message me with your email if you want and we can email each other! Idk if my subscription ran out or what happened and why it won't send...maybe my message is too long lol!Quote:
Originally Posted by Magical22
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I am so sorry girlie!!!! There are so many of us in this group that know exactly what you are going through! Feel free to voice your feelings...this discussion board was my saving grace the first week or two after my 12 week scan. The first week or two after you find out is the worst. Everything made me cry. It really truly does get easier though. Give yourself time to grieve, it IS a loss, even if you never had the baby girl in your arms. Are you guys going to have more kids?
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Our anatomy scan is scheduled for the 30th. I think we have decided to not find out the "official" gender...even though I am 99% certain this baby is a boy based on my 12 week scan. There is no doubt in my mind. The only reason I don't want to find out is because I am so stressed about the ultrasound. It gives me so much anxiety thinking about it...the last sono was so heartbreaking for me I don't think I can go through another one. I think I will fall apart all over again and be just as depressed as I was after the 12 week scan. I thought by now I would be more accepting of this baby and be ok with things, but I'm not.[emoji17]This time around, I just want to focus on the health of my baby and not see what's between the legs. I think maybe it might help me to enjoy the sono more. I also don't know if I can hold it together for another sono. As soon as we got pregnant we decided we were going to do a gender reveal at home with just our family, but I absolutely did NOT want to find out at the sono in front of a stranger...and that is exactly how we found out[emoji20].
The people that I've told this to think I am crazy and I think they think I am trying to hold out hope that this baby is a girl. Maybe I am in denial, but I just can't go through it again. It will make everything so final.
Am I crazy for not finding out or feeling this way?
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I don't want to find out the gender for those reasons I figure once the baby is born I will be so relieved and grateful that we have both made it through ok that the gender won't be as important...im already assuming this baby is a boy and im hoping at my 12wk scan next week i can't read too much into skull, nub or even see its actual willy lol...my last pregnancy was ruined by the scan when we found out the gender xQuote:
Originally Posted by jdd1017
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All totally normal feelings. You have to deal with it as best you can. [emoji179]Quote:
Originally Posted by jdd1017
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Jdd have you thought about asking the ultrasound technician to write the gender down for you and seal it up in an envelope for you to take home with you? Then you can decide in your own time if you want to know before the birth.
Yea I thought of that...we might still do it. The other part of me thinks that I would rather just have the confirmation of the gender be at the delivery, but go through the pregnancy knowing this baby will be a boy. I guess maybe a small part of me is allowing myself to hold out a teeny tiny bit of hope that the tech was wrong. To be honest, when I think of the delivery and how I will feel in the weeks leading up to it and right after, I feel so sad. Like the whole time I will be thinking of how I wish this baby was a girl. So maybe if I don't know for the gender with certainty it will make things easier. I'm probably setting myself up for even more disappointment, but I'm hoping once he is here I will be able to accept it a little more. Idk what to do[emoji53][emoji30]Quote:
Originally Posted by Cinss
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Hi Ladies,
I have just joined your group but have been lurking for some time. We swayed girl but Im pretty sure its a boy but the cord has been in the way most of the time so I guess Im holding out hope that it may still be a girl but more likely to be a boy.
We go for our anatomy scan on Thursday morning so hopefully by then we will know for sure. :nails:
JDD it comes down to the kind of person you are, and only you know that for sure. Are you someone who will fall instantly in love with this little bundle on your chest even if it has a penis to where you wont care at all that he is a boy and not a girl at delivery, or do you NEED time during the pregnancy to accept its a boy so that you are able to love him the way you need to when he is born? I considered not finding out with this one, convinced my sway worked and so why not enjoy that feeling the entire pregnancy knowing it was my boy..but then i realized that if i went the whole pregnancy convinced of my sway and entered that delivery room and had a baby girl placed on my chest... i wouldnt feel the rush of love that would allow me to bond with her. Id be mourning my son while trying to bond with her and it would have been an ugly nightmare for me. So i knew i had to find out because i needed time to adjust. I adjusted faster than i thought i would, and i'll still have a slight sting of sadness when i hold her since she is my last baby and represents the death of my son in my eyes, but i will still be able to enjoy her and love her and count her fingers and toes happily...where i would have been a crying ugly mess if i hadnt known before hand. Thats me.
Now you just have to think about yourself and what your experience will be like and make your decision for YOU...you are the only one who knows whats best for you. personally pregnancy isnt a great thing for me, i have never enjoyed it and i never will...so enjoying my last isnt on my priority list because i know i couldnt enjoy it even if i tried..im just slugging through. Thats why i wasnt worried about any news ruining the pregnancy...its already ruined because i have to be pregnant, haha..
Thanks for your advice!!! You're right, I need to figure out what will be worse, coping now or at the birth. We didn't find out the gender with DS2. I really wanted a girl, but the other part of me didn't care bc I also wanted a brother for my older son. However, about 10 days after he was born it hit me that I might not EVER have a daughter. At that time we were only planning on having 3 kids. That is actually the day I told my husband that if #3 is a boy we are having a 4th. Luckily he went for it lol! Now after doing a lot of research, I know that the chances of having a girl after 3 boys is pretty damn slim, so I think that is why I am grieving so much with this one. Even though we will prob have one more, I know it will be another boy and honestly I don't want to have another baby unless I am willing to accept the next baby being a boy. I just can't go through this again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Burakoam
I was determined to find out the gender with this one because I thought it would allow me time to cope and accept it, but it's been 5 weeks since we found out about this baby and I am still struggling with it! It's def better, but I am not as good as I thought I would be. I know 5 weeks isn't that long, but I usually move on from things fairly quickly! How long do you feel like it took you before you accepted yours as being a girl?
I think since we know going into it knowing that this baby is almost certainly a boy, I won't be as upset in the delivery room. If we had gone team green I seriously would have thought this baby was a girl because I felt like my sway was so strong!!! So I guess I'm glad that we more or less found out, even if it has been really difficult on me. I know it would have been awful in the delivery room if I found then that it was another boy!! [emoji22]
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