I know. I'm not judging you at all. If I knew my child would be severely impaired I would do the same. Just didn't sound like you knew how things were going to go.
With the amnio results, they will likely find the genetic issue at fault but it is extremely likely that it is a totally random event just like my DD.
She is my lightning strike. It's one of those things that "never happens" and I didn't run around in any thunderstorms or have any reason for this to happen but it did. I'm sorry that something has happened to your DD too.
It's shocking when one finds out about something like this and it takes time to make peace with it. I still struggle some days. No judgement from me at all. You have to do what's best for your family. It's not our place to judge at all.