Originally Posted by
Throwaway_panther
Hi guys,
I've stayed away awhile because I felt like I was having issues being understood on here, but thought I'd jump back in.
It had turned out I was pregnant during that time in what I've called the "high school horror story" since we were doing extremely cautious pulling out while I EBF (even though I had gotten back my period at 5 weeks postpartum), so I got pregnant from "precum." We ended up losing it around 7 weeks.
That bummed me out enough to want to come back here, but I held off. I wrestled with a lot of things, but mostly had to deal with the relief it was to have myself fall pregnant without "trying" as it felt like an answer to a lot of things I was going through. To then lose that answer was crushing.
Now I'm back now because one of my good friends just found out she's having a boy; her and her husband felt and thought girl, I literally had a dream about them having a boy weeks ago -- bam, boy. Obviously my dream was from my own desires, but it's hard to see that keep happening around me, especially after a loss that I *did* feel was a boy, and miscarriages are most often boys, though obviously my intuition could be thrown by my desires too.
Sorry to be a killjoy -- just though I'd check in, especially since I now have to process yet another person around me having a boy I so desperately want.
