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Now that I am home with DH and DS2 napping and DS1 at preschool, I am sitting here bawling. I wasn't expecting the emotions to hit me so hard. I just posted on FB and got two comments: "Another boy??? Wow!" and "Oh, a girl would have been a good fit though."
We went out for lunch after the scan and I saw cute little girls everywhere. I really hurts. And I feel like an ungrateful idiot for crying in the first place. :SS:
Oh Mama! It's ok to have those feelings. You should give yourself time to adjust to the news. Be gentle to yourself and know that it will get better. Congratulations on your precious baby boy!!! I bet he will be a perfect addition to your family. ((Hugs))Quote:
Originally Posted by divakotka
Awww thanks!! Me too!! Im planning to take a little video "for the girls to watch" ;) So ill hopefully have that to obsess over too!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Wanting-a-girl
That's why I am not telling anyone I found out if it's a boy curse I don't want to hear things like that.... And if anyone says something stupid like that when I'm holding my beautiful baby boy I will lose it! Don't let it get to you just wait and see you will be okay :) don't worry I'm pretty sure Ive got a boy a brewing too... Just take some time to grieve and get it out of ur system... Have a bath... Go shopping do something for you
I just booked. My anatomy scan for April 8 at 10 am :)
Oh dear sweetheart! I'm sorry to hear that and please don't feel guilty for how you feel. All of us here know exactly what you're going through, so certainly won't judge!
Take the time to grieve before your little boy gets here, and I have no doubt that as soon as you see him he'll be loved just as much as their brothers are.
Congratulations on your healthy little boy xxx
Oh please don't be so hard on yourself. It's pefectly ok to cry, being sad doesn't mean you love your baby any less! Give yourself time... you will be ok I promise. I'm speaking from experience here, this little guy will bring you more joy than you can even imagine.Quote:
Originally Posted by divakotka
For now be kind to yourself and let it all out. Sending HUGS your way!!:LotsofLove:
Thank you so much everyone. Your kind words and understanding brought me to tears again. Ah, pregnancy hormones are so lovely. I posted the potty shot on in-gender just to get a slightly different set of people to look at it but all in all, I think that more expert eyes confirming that it's a boy will help me to let the news settle in. I googled "three dots boy or girl ultrasound" because I am just over 15 weeks and it wasn't a good idea because it ignited a spark of foolish hope inside of me. Ugh.
Hun I am so sorry you are struggling! When I found out DS3 was I boy I was in the exact same place as you, I cried for 3 straight days, then I cried because I felt bad for crying and I felt bad that I was disappointed about this beautiful baby that was MINE!!! I know you know this, but once that little guy is in your arms you will love and snuggle him and you wont want it any other way! Unfortunately for me, it didn't take away the desire to have a DD so now, I am about to go through it all again, as I know my luck is that I have DS4 growing inside of me right now!! We are all here for you!
Oh no I am so sorry!! I cannot even put it in words. I am so scared of my scan and I just know how devestated I will be when I hear "boy" again. I am so so sorry :sad: I would also still be having a little hope.. as long as it is not 100% I guess... there's always that slight chance. I am so sorry! I wish none of us would have to suffer from GD anymore.. I feel like the more you wish for something the less it is becoming true :sad: Others get their DG so easily. Others struggle and struggle and still be disappointed :sad:
Today a friend of mine who accidently got pregnant (she already has a 3 year old daughter) found out that she was not carrying another girl but a boy. I have no idea how she could have been that naive, but she honestly expected the next baby to a be a girl as well. She had a 12 week scan and the tech said "could be a girl". Now she is almost 18 weeks and they already painted the room and everything. They are both devestated, but more than I ever imagined to be. They are even thinking about giving him away after birth. She does not want to carry a boy and would like to put an end to it. But it is illegal here so she cannot act on that. She thinks she is not able to love him because he is a boy. I am a little shocked...
I am really glad we all love our children no matter what gender. Even though we are struggling. But still we love them.
Sorry just had to get this out. She just told me and I am the only one who knows already. I am just shocked at how she is reacting. Wouldn't have expected that as she never said anything. Although she knows how I am wishing for a girl and how I am struggling with myself at the thought of this being another boy.
Omg! I cant believe people think like that! Not to undermine anyones feelings but if you want to kill or give ur baby away cause its not the gender you want then that person should not be having babies! That's terrible makes me so sad :( so many people lose their babies and have sick babies or can't have babies so in the end I'm just happy to have a healthy baby regardless of penis/vagina... I myself have a special needs boy and actually prob two...so really if a get a normal healthy baby boy I will be crazy happy... That's why I'm not as obsessed this time around cause that's all u want just a girl would be the cherry on top...
When I find out this baby is a boy my mind set will just change from thinking if it's a girl to thinking if he is going to be normal which is a much longer wait to find out :( a girl radically reduces the risk
I am so sorry you didn't hear girl. I know how you feel (DH only wanted two kids and he said a 3rd was out of the question at the time) and it is okay to cry without guilt. I know others don't understand but we do. Take sometime and hide out for awhile. You are brave for posting on FB, I wouldn't have been able to do that. You need to cry and upset before you can face others with the news. People will say stupid, awful, hurtful, and rude things and you need to be strong enough to deal with them when they happen. Others won't understand why you are upset. I wish I could give you a big hug right now.
Take it easy on yourself and don't hold back your emotion or feel like crying means you don't love this baby. Go do something nice for yourself and be very thankful you have a supportive DH (mine still thinks I am crazy:))
Exactly my thoughts, wanting. DS1 is a special needs kid as well, and when DS2 arrived, I still remember how happy I was. The first look I took at him, he looked so healthy, and I was so, so so happy, cannot even put it in words. Dispite the GD I had had, it was such a miracle that DS2 was healthy. I kind of didn't expect that somehow.
We had planned to go HT for our third kid, because I couldn't imagine I could deal with boy number 3. Now it is as it is, and I know I will deal with it and love him. I have to, there is no other way. And he deserves that, he doesen't know I want a girl so badly. I will love him anyway, and I am still so shocked about what she said about not being able to love him. Every baby deserves to be loved and only loved. I really hope that she will come around somehow and be able to deal with it and love him too. I really hope she didn't really mean what she said today. :worry:
Something I also don't get - she already has a girl. And she doesen't know how great boys are. How can she just assume they are not lovable? It is just so sad :sad:
Well back from my scan...wish I had something good to update with but I dont! No nub shots at all and the majority of the scan I couldnt even see cuz the tect had the screen facing only him! Im slightly disapointed but at least I got to see babe and I dont have a girl nub to be down about. Now I can hold out hope for a boy for a little while longer! I dont know how you ladies get such good shots! I couldnt see a thing! Lol I thought the nub would be soo obvious..shows what I know! Haha
I totally agree. I will be worried the rest of the pregnancy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wanting-a-girl
Still of course I wish for a girl also for other reasons. But I do not think about adoption or even killing the little one, even though all this was unplanned and I so didn't want another boy. This little guy was meant to be somehow. And I hope he's healthy. If he's a he. But chances are high he is.
4Giffins: That's a bummer! I didn't even have a NT scan so I know your disappointment about not getting a nub shot. Now I'm kinda happy I don't have anything to obsess about.. The baby's hb was lower than it was at my first appointment and I'm obessing about that plenty. haha!
I personally LOvE boys! Growing up I was a tomboy from having three brothers I loved doing boy things I hated hanging out with girls cause they were way too dramatic for my liking lol... I hate how everything with girls is competition lol my cousin would literally try and be better at everything! I had two really good girlfriends and my best friend has been my BFF since grade two and we are just so alike so we mesh well... I get along with women now obviously now that we're grown up ;)
Growing up I always said I want three boys no girls lol I sure did get that lol but I really would love the mother daughter relationship... I didn't and still dont have a good relationship with my mom so I want to try and be the mom I wish I had... Although when I came home knocked up at 16 my mother was super supportive surprisingly
I honestly don't think I will have GD just cause I went into ttc just wanting a baby in general but I did give all that I could to sway :) so I won't have any I wish I did it that way... I also resent the fact that my normal ds my first I had so young that I was too stupid to appreciate things like I would now... I feel I took it for granted and I realized that as soon as ds2 started giving me black eyes didn't learn to talk couldnt follow simple directions... Now that is what I found hard and still do I don't look at people with girls and wish I had that I see people walking through the grocery store with their kids ... Having a conversation with their kids... Their kids playing together... And thats what I wish I had.... I love my kids but I hate watching the struggles that they will have to deal with forever
Ds3 fell off my bed when we were sleeping together when he was five months old and ended up with a sever cornea laceration... Got rushed to surgery 2 weeks later a cataract surgery number 2 for cataract removal... Surgery #3 lens transplant... Surgery number 4 something to do with his cones and he will be having another this year sometime ... He's been sedated more times than I can remember... Then my one friend calls me laughing a few weeks ago sayi g her baby rolled off the bed and was fine omfg...
And now he is speech delayed and lack of understanding... Deja fucking vu
I love your attitude. You are still quite young but very wise and mature. I also absolutely cannot understand how people could give away their baby or terminate because of the sex. In fact, I couldn't even donate one of our frozen embryos (not that we have any but I know that's the newest thing now). I would always wonder because essentially that's your child.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wanting-a-girl
Longingforgirl: That is so sad. I hope your friend comes around when he's actually here. This baby is also a surprise for me. Sometimes it's hard being faced with all these gd emotions, especially when I wasn't trying to get pregnant. You sound like you have a great attitude. I really hope this is your girl. :)
OMG you have been through so much!! I am so sorry I cannot even begin to imagine how that must feel like! I had completely different problems with DS1. He has had 4 surgeries as well already, I guess this year he is getting his fifth, but it is always the same. Doctors have not told me what the matter with him was for the first two years. We still don't know for sure, we just know that he has to get surgery every now and then to be able to breathe while sleeping. Which wasn't possible for the first two years. At least not lying down, so he would sleep on top of me, me sitting up. He cried about 12 hours a day and nobody told me why.
Now he is almost "normal". He goes to a special school, and he does look different, he has a very huge head and the eyes are more apart than usual. So you can still see that he is different. But.. he is supposed to be together with normal children in school later. This is what is worrying me, will he be able to keep up with them, I am so worried he is going to be bullied. And he is the most sensitive kid that I know. So I am already suffering for him which is stupid of course. But it breaks my heart. He is so in-between normal and not, I have no idea how he is going to cope with that.
Well, so much for that... I hope we will all get healthy babies.. even though it is priority number one for everyone, sometimes I almost forget that within all the gender obsessing...
Oh, and the mother/daughter relationship... I want to do it better than my mom too. She was a bad mother in every way.
Haha, about the nub shot.. I was so nervous as well. And I was so sure I would be able to see something. But then - nothing. I was still nubsessing because afterwards I thought I saw something.. first I thought I saw a girl nub, and then I was sure it was a boy nub.. haha. Now that my memory has almost vanished I feel a little relieved I don't have a picture to obsess about :cool:
Oh Wanting im so sorry to hear your challenges! If this site has tought me nothing else it is that we are so lucky to have the children that we do and that health really is the top priority above all esle! Im sure your boys are lovely and although it sounds like they have some challenges to overcome Im sure the amount of love they give you outweighs everything else!! I will be thinking of your sweet boys!!
Thank you!! I hope you will get your girl too. I didn't realize you also accidently fell pregnant. That makes us two :happy: I didn't want to get pregnant at all at that time. Last year, I was on the IG diet for a few months, and then I realized I couldn't cope with another boy. So I stopped and we had the IVF with PGD for a girl, but it failed. While I was planning the next one for september this year, I fell pregnant all of a sudden.Quote:
Originally Posted by shiningstar
Now I think I will be ok with another boy. Although I know it is going to be hard because I don't know if I will ever have another chance at having a girl.
I am having my next scan on tuesday and I am constantly dreaming of seeing boy parts at the scan. Every night. It has not once been a girl in my dreams..
Have you all picked out favourite names yet? I tried today but I cannot really find a boy name I could be excited about. Have to keep looking though, I want to be prepared for tuesday. Even though I am not sure if we are going to see anything. My OB told me he won't see it until 20 weeks.
WANTING, I just want to say I really admire how you are dealing with all this. I have to agree with the others, you are still relatively young, but already so mature and examplary! Your boys are so lucky to have you as their mother!! I really mean that, this is not common at all. I truly admire that.
With ds2 I was a nervous wreck for like two years before he started school mainly worrying about the bullying and it is crazy the kids love him.... For now.... But they hold his hand the play with him it's insanely different than it would have been back when I was in school... My son an IEP (individual education plan) so he does less than the others... Although he has become insanely smart lately... We took him for stem cell treatment in panama in summer 2010 and since then he has learned to talk I can't conversation with hi. As he doesn't understand how it works I don't think... He could spell any word under the sun he is crazy to watch he is super smart...
For Ezra on the other hand I don't think we can afford to take him for treatment but he is a lot better than ds2 he does talk a bit and understand more an ds2 at that point so I have high hope for him
Surgery sucks when your kids are having it no matter what... It is sooooo stressful! I swear my nerves could honestly kill me as I'm in the waiting room... I'm gonna try and postpone his surgery till this babe is about 5 months cause when he has his surgery he has to have 25 eye drops a day for a few weeks and I can't stand the thought of it right now... On a positive note his ophthalmologist is very nice on the eyes ;)
When my thoughts of wanting a girl really bad get the better of me I try to back myself up and think of what I really wnt and it does help me
I remember my cousin she had a girl when I had ds1 and then before I got preg with ds3 she got preg with dd2 but she was told it was a boy and she was telling me she was so upset.... I had nooooo sympathy at all I even told her she is ridiculous told her she has a girl and has no reason to be sad about a boy... Then a week before her dd she found out it was a girl by this time I was about 3 months with ds3 and she calls me rubbing it in my face.... Lol I honestly don't know what people get from doing that!
Thought I would share a couple pics even though you cant see much!
Attachment 9640
Attachment 9641
Thats all I got! lol
Wanting, wow I'm sorry for all you have gone through you are such a great mamma!! My DS3 is speech delayed and his understanding is delayed too! He is on the waiting list for free speech therapy from the state because he qualified for it in the evaluation. The funny thing is, i know he is SUPER smart he just cannot communicate! This boy melts my heart everyday and even though I cried for days when I found out he was a boy, I wouldn't have it any other way....
Lol also your comment on your DS Ophthalmologist being easy on the eyes!!! My DH is an Ophthalmologist and I think he is easy on the eyes too!
Yep no nub shot, but cute healthy baby! Congrats!
Skull looks boyish for what it's worth
Thanks guys I do try my best.... My life experience def made me open my eyes... Take a step back and let things ride out... There are way too many things that are not in my control so it's so much less stressful to just let it be.... DH has not jumped on that bandwagon yet hopefully he will soon
Ooo thorz luckey you! I have I thing for drs lol... Ds ophthalmologist is from London and his accent makes me melt mmmmmmmmm I get to see him in April lol
Well Ill talke that! Im not sure on the skull theory and dont have pics of my girls at this gestation to compare it too but it sounds good to me! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorz300
Glad you're scan went well but that stinks you couldn't see the baby much. As for not getting a nub shot, that may not be a bad thing. At lease you don;t have something to obsess over for the next few weeks! Nubs can drive you bonkers sometimes!Quote:
Originally Posted by 4Giffins
Wanting, wow you have been through a lot at such a young age and it's amazing how well you handle it. Your boys are lucky to have you!
Soo true! I am quite relieved that I can just bipass all the nub-cessing! And that I still feel like I have a shot at my DG, I was so scared to see a girl nub! Lol! Now I can just get the nurves rolling for the gender scan! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Southern Butterfly
I totally agree healthy baby is a priority. That's something I worried about with each pregnancy. We couldn't get pg with DS1 for 1.5years which were the longest years in my life. It was so heartbreaking every time the period started and I was loosing hope we will ever have children. Thank god I found a good doctor and after a laparoscopy I fell pregnant. I was so happy being pg with DS1 and when he was born it was the best day of my life. We have a special relationship, we spend a lot of time together and I am so grateful to have him. When we were ready for second baby I fell pg immediately but it was all good to be true and I miscarried at 11 wks due to Turners Syndrome. Since then I am a nervous wreck when it comes to pregnancies and I constantly worried while pg with DS2 if he would be okay. It didnt help I was spotting constantly and I had over 10 scans during the whole pregnancy. I feel very lucky now I was blessed with two beautiful children and that's all I wished for when I couldn't get pg. This pg is an bonus and if this baby is healthy I will be over the moon. But I have to stop myself wondering if my sway had some negative affect on the quality of my egg and whether the baby would be really okay..
Aww thanks everyone you guys are awesome!
I wish I didn't get a nub! I am however doing really good about not obsessing... I hung my u/s pics on my fridge and covered the nub with a magnet lol
Again, I want to thank everyone for the lovely support I have been getting on here. Especially reading some of your stories puts everything in perspective. You ladies are amazing, strong, and wonderful mommas. We are all so very blessed with the children we DO have. DS1 was also quite speech delayed at age 2.5 (and had qualified for therapy). He only got a couple of sessions, then we moved from TX to OH, he started pre-school and has improved tremendously since then (even though it was just a few hours a week). He just turned 4 and his pronunciation is still a bit off compared to other kids his age but he really talks like a little chatterbox and we (including his teacher) understand him 95% of the time. At 2 years old, we couldn't even get a yes or a no out of him and it was very hard for a while. His little brother, who just turned 2, speaks almost entirely in complete sentences, which boggles our mind on a daily basis! And sometimes that's not a good thing because he is in this phase right now where, when he gets mad, he will yell at you:"Be quiet, Mama!" (or Dada, Keiko, our cat, lol).
Anyway...I'm glad I hopped on here and get to share a part of your journey with you. :)
Interesting that there are so many little ones here that are speech delayed. DS1 is attending a school for speech delayed kids. The good thing is that the groups are very small. He couldn't handle usual sized groups. He has made great progress during the first year there now though. When he was 3, he could barely say anything. But he has many more issues than the speech thing, and we are in therapy a lot with him.
Wanting, so great that your little one is being loved so much by the other children!! Kind of really relieving. Thank you :happy:
Diva, I'm sorry you didn't hear girl. But congratulations on another little man!
It is very interesting to find so many people in similar situations in such a small group of people! It is in a way comforting cause I don't know anyone in person... Having a DS with severe autism is hard and going out with him it's nauseating to hear strangers comments cause they just think he's a bad kid... If anyone has some tips for how to deal with behavior problems I will take some... I never have put him on meds cause to me the risks don't out weigh the benifits.... But he is so bad he hits him self so hard... He's never hit his brothers thank god... He has crazy meltdowns constantly... I am now desensitized to the sound of high pitch screaming lol... He seems to always be at his worst when spring comes its so weird ...
I was curious to how every one sleeps... I am normally a tummy sleeper but that's obviously not very comfy now so I try to sleep on my side but every night I wake up flat on my back :s
Had a really crazy dream last night lol... is anyone following the Jodi arias case?
I've just had the midwife call to say I'll be getting letters through saying that I'm to see a consultant and that I've had extra growth scans booked because I've got low PAPP levels. My risk on bloods are 1:70,000 apparently, but she said that was for downs but didn't mention any of the other genetic disorders.
Feeling really worried now ;(
Omg when is your next scan!?