frequency of BD for pink and blue

I want to post about my frequency experience with BD during our last successful conception (which sadly ended in a second-trimester loss).

I was trying to sway boy, and did SMEP, and I was carrying a little girl..

I did SMEP in the sense that we BD as soon as my digital OPK was flashing smiley (high fertility but not peak fertility), and then kept going until it was solid (next day AM and PM), and then one more BD 24h after the solid smiley.

Would you change the frequency of BD for next time? Wait until solid smiley? Don't do twice a day?

Also, read somewhere in this forum that first 2 cycles after D&E might sway pink... if that's the case and there's data behind it, I guess we'll just have to wait a bit.. (but I am so desperate to heal from our loss..)

How many days did you BD when it was on high??

Re when to try after D and E, this is first and foremost a safety issue. D and E plus a 14 week loss is very taxing on the body and while I know that you're not going to feel right again till you're looking at another BFP, I don't want you to set yourself up for another loss. While many times doctors are many times overly conservative about when to try again (like telling people to wait three cycles after a chemical, for example) D and E plus a second trimester loss is probably best to wait at least one cycle and preferably two.

Then couple that with the potential harm to your sway - because you will be depleted and your fertility will be suppressed for a couple cycles - I do not think it's a good idea to proceed too quickly.

This is not the kind of thing I can get data on. There are too many variables that come into play; first and foremost the idea that people who are able to get and stay pregnant that soon after a later loss may be more "set" for boys to begin with and that can skew the data to make it look more 50-50 when it's really pink-friendly. This is not a data thing, this is a common sense precaution because I want you to have a good shot at your boy. If, as I believe, this is boiling down to maternal condition and overall fertility is what is at the heart of swaying, it just doesn't make sense to try too soon for you. We need to let your body recover for 2 cycles and then see where we are at.

If those cycles are super long we may be able to proceed sooner but I'd give it 8 weeks here.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

How many days did you BD when it was on high??

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As soon as it hit flashing smiley, BD for 4 days once a day. I know I ovulated in the second day because of the temp rise on day 3.

Was this the right frequency?

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Originally Posted by Mom25boys

Dh just turned 36, for reference. We dtd sat. PM and Sunday PM. Will probably get + opk Saturday or Sunday. But because I'm so irregular, it can surprise me early. I want to leave Sunday PM as the last bd because somewhere within the next 7 days I probably will get +. But it can be latest 10 days I guess too. How bad is 7 days abstinence before my one attempt? I also wouldn't J&D because he is on antidepressants too and if it causes a huge decrease I didn't want to lose chances of pg. WwYD? (Ttc girl)

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Atomic, what would you advise? I have been so crampy and within the week before ovulation that is typical for me. But I can ovulate anywhere this week until cycle day 23 for sure. Now I'm on cycle 17. Last BD was 14. Was for sure going to keep it 4 or more days apart. But I'm scared that BD Thursday, may be so close to O... is 7-10 abstain really bad? I don't want more than one attempt. I have just a faint line on opk. It's usually blank unless it's getting closer.

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Originally Posted by shiroshiro

As soon as it hit flashing smiley, BD for 4 days once a day. I know I ovulated in the second day because of the temp rise on day 3.

Was this the right frequency?

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I think you had a good solid attempt in that case and it just didn't come down to frequency this time. I would have you do exactly that again.

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Originally Posted by Mom25boys

Atomic, what would you advise? I have been so crampy and within the week before ovulation that is typical for me. But I can ovulate anywhere this week until cycle day 23 for sure. Now I'm on cycle 17. Last BD was 14. Was for sure going to keep it 4 or more days apart. But I'm scared that BD Thursday, may be so close to O... is 7-10 abstain really bad? I don't want more than one attempt. I have just a faint line on opk. It's usually blank unless it's getting closer.

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Timing doesn't sway and there is no way you're going to be able to go all that time when you may O in there. I would have attempt now OR barring that, have DH clear the pipes once.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Timing doesn't sway and there is no way you're going to be able to go all that time when you may O in there. I would have attempt now OR barring that, have DH clear the pipes once.

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Thank you! I am not doing timing. Im doing just one attempt. But until then I wasn't sure what to do. I will make sure to not abstain. Would an attempt protected in the middle suffice? I will make sure tonight or tomorrow.

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Hi Atomic,

It took some navigation for me to find this thread again - and thank you for the link on a previous post to the abbreviation explanations! That made reading this thread much easier.

For a pink sway, I had a question on your comment of "The important thing is, that he HAS to release every day at least once and pref. more, for at least 7-10 days prior to when you BEGIN your BD attempts." I'm going to try to be specific and still tactful in my question, so forgive me if TMI. My cycle is very regular, and my periods are usually pretty heavy. My cycles are typically 26 days, with AF lasting about a week (not full heavy throughout, but definitely some spotting the last 2 days or so). I've never used an OPK, but just from CM change and cramps, I can figure my O day is about 1 week after my last day of AF. DH, understandably, does not like to DTD while I'm on my period. What would be the best frequency method to try for a pink sway?

(For our boy, we weren't trying any sort of sway, we just wanted to get pregnant and were guessing at my fertility window. DS was pretty much a OHW - we BD right at the beginning of the week of fertility, then again either on or 1 day before O).

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Originally Posted by Mom25boys

Thank you! I am not doing timing. Im doing just one attempt. But until then I wasn't sure what to do. I will make sure to not abstain. Would an attempt protected in the middle suffice? I will make sure tonight or tomorrow.

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Oh ok sorry when I read "may be close to O" I got confused. Yes to clear the pipes a protected attempt will suffice! :)