Due dec'14-jan/feb'15 part 2

I stay at home. I have a degree in fine art which I could do a few things with but I've always wanted to just be a mom. Daycare is expensive here and I would want my kids in a "good" one and those are very expensive, like $800 a month. When Micah (if he stays the baby) is old enough for pre-k I will probably teach art at the school where my husband is principal, but it's hard to plan that far in advance.

On another note, my prenatal appointment went well today. Micah is very very active and ran from the Doppler which was funny because I could feel him kicking hard to get away from it. Heartbeat of 143. The nurse said it was a "boy heartbeat" and I said I already know he's indeed a boy and she said I'm lucky to have three of them. I've been hearing that statement a lot lately which is very healing and encouraging how "lucky" I am to be a mom of three boys. I sure did want a daughter, but I am beginning to think I will wait and just enjoy my three crazies 😊 anatomy scan is scheduled for the 26th.

Oh Marika, I am jealous! I just read your statement and told hubby we need to move to Sweden :-) The US is so backwards in some ways - we definitely don't value to the family unit the way most other developed countries do. Here, there is NO government funded maternity leave and the majority of companies don't provide it either, so you just have to figure it out on your own. You can pay for short term disability insurance, but you have to pay in the whole time you're pregnant (starting before you get pregnant or it doesn't count) and then you only get about 50-60% of your salary for 4 weeks. 6 weeks for a cesarean. It's sad, really, because our taxes are still in the 20-30% range for most middle-class americans. Oh, and then daycare where I'm at for my daughter who is 3 years old is $850 per month and infants are usually closer to $1,000, so with 2 in daycare you're at almost $2k per month! I will say that we are lucky in that it still makes sense for both DH and I to work, and we have very flexible jobs, etc, but still. If I could not work for a year or two while the kids are babies, I would LOVE that, but I am more of the "breadwinner" in our family, so if someone was to stay home, it would be DH and he's not interested in that. Ah...whenever I start getting irritated at this though, I have to remind myself of all the other great things in my life. It's not so bad - life is good - it could be worse, etc, but I still wish the US valued families more and had some sort of government funded maternity leave.

I live in Canada where we have something for maternity leave. It's could be better, but it could be waaay worse. We pay into EI and need 640 hours at our job the year before we need it and we receive 55% of salary to a maximum of $514/week for 50 weeks. So we get a year off for maternity leave (minus the 2 week wait period) and some business' (not mine) provide a top up.

I work in a non-profit agency and we have directed by the powers that be to merge with another non-profit agency in our district. Unfortunately, because of this, my job will be deemed "redundant" (whether I'm on maternity leave or not). So, I'm looking at either being jobless (with a severance) at the end of my maternity leave or my boss (who loves me) can put me in another position (the same position I was in 5 years ago doing something completely different) BUT it means shift work when I return from maternity leave. I'm in a pickle. I want to stay working there -- been there 14 years -- but really am not interested in returning to shift work (8 a.m.-4 p.m. or 4 p.m. - midnight). Ugh. I have to decide in the next few weeks ... because I'd have to make the switch before I go on leave. Super annoying. I wish my DH made enough to support us and I could stay home.

As for daycare, both my boys are now in full day kindergarten so my daycare costs are about $250 a month for after school care (my sister has a daycare and love me a lot!). Even when my youngest was there, I'd pay her $600 flat rate a month -- full time care for my little one and pick up from school and care for my older one. I love my sister!!!

Angie

Wow marika!! Sweden is where it is at!!! Here in NZ we get 4 months full pay then nothing after that, they hold your job open for 12 months but its quite flexible working hours I will go back four days per week when bubba is 9-12 months. My DH gets 12 weeks paid paternity leave pretty awesome huh! That's just his job as he works for a university.

Hey abi I have a fine arts degree too!! I manage/buy/ product develop for our big main art gallery shop I love it, its soooo creative.

So happy everyone is saying such lovely comments to you its so true!!!! But sometimes only us boy mums know that :)

Hope everyone is keeping well whose scans up next?
Xxxx
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Originally Posted by kitkat18

Wow marika!! Sweden is where it is at!!! Here in NZ we get 4 months full pay then nothing after that, they hold your job open for 12 months but its quite flexible working hours I will go back four days per week when bubba is 9-12 months. My DH gets 12 weeks paid paternity leave pretty awesome huh! That's just his job as he works for a university.

Hey abi I have a fine arts degree too!! I manage/buy/ product develop for our big main art gallery shop I love it, its soooo creative.

So happy everyone is saying such lovely comments to you its so true!!!! But sometimes only us boy mums know that :)

Hope everyone is keeping well whose scans up next?
Xxxx
Sent from my Windows Phone 8S by HTC using Tapatalk

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Wow that sounds like a fun job! How awesome!
How many boys do you have? Did your sway work? Sorry I can't keep track well :)

Yes, I am jealous of the Swedes, too! I am actually part Swedish and my grandma tells me we have family there. I would love to live in one of the Scandinavian countries!

I totally go back and forth about this. It would be hard for us, but if I could maybe find a few kids to do after school care for, I would be able to take care of my portion of the bills. I feel like we have competing quality of life issues if I stay home or continue to work. Home we would eat much more health, and much less eating out. We would be able to do weekends away more often because I would depend on the weekends to make sure laundry and other "getting ready for the workweek" chores that I always have to do. Working our spending is much more flexible. I can contribute to many extras that we wouldn't feel as comfortable in spending on, my kids would get quality education and social experiences bc I'm not sure if we could afford preschool if I was home (unless I found some way of making something from home). And my job is really flexible as far as schedule goes. I just adjusted so that I can drop my oldest of at kindie and go in at nine and still get off at five and it has been nice to get extra time at home to wash and fold a load of laundry and tidy up the house each day.

Ah, obviously I to back and forth.

Lala, I have thought about being a realtor but the housing market in CA scares me and I don't know if I would be good at it.


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In California we have state disability pay and then some paid for FMLA (family medical leave). It it only a present of what you make but better than nothing I suppose. I think I can take up to four months off here, although some of it would be unpaid.


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Sorry to threadcrash, but I will mention for those that are looking for decent (not great) at home work that being a search engine rater is easy work and you can easily make $500-$1000 a month (not great money, but every bit helps!). I saw Leapforce mentioned on these boards before (I wish I could remember which lady originally recommended it!) and looked into it and applied and have loved doing it part time to make extra income.

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Originally Posted by Abifasc

Wow that sounds like a fun job! How awesome!
How many boys do you have? Did your sway work? Sorry I can't keep track well :)

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2 boys abi 6 and 4 im only 9 weeks so no idea yet I have totally convinced myself its another boy I guess for self protection hoping for a sneak peak at 12 weeks but planning team green if I can hold out!!Xx

Futuremininme- you don't know until you try but I will say this - it is WAY harder than I expected. Being a mom in these times is really rough- you just can't win no matter what you do. Most European countries have it right and the US fails us miserably for the cost of living that we endure. Though, I too try to be grateful for the roof over my head the clean running water through my faucets but we are asked to do a lot with not a lot and it's hard.

Bluebonnet22- Is it something you have to pay into first or one of those "weird deals"? I'd be super interested in it.