TTC a BOY March Chit Chat Thread!

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Originally Posted by Cinss

Bec - so sorry you had to go through that :sad:

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Thanks Cinss :)

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Originally Posted by Bec

Thanks Lola. I have times when I feel like I am ok and then something will happen and I will just start crying. Like, today we took DD1 to swimming lessons and it's the first time we have been since we found about about the m/c and it made me so upset. Silly little things like that! DH is really supportive and I know how much it upsets him too but I feel like he just doesn't feel the way I do. I always had compassion for people that have had a m/c but I never really knew what it felt like until now. Anyway, life goes on I guess!

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Nothing is too silly xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was the same way with my first loss Bec. Everything upset me, everything was the first time since we lost the baby, I hated going out and seeing pregnant women or women with babies. I felt like my life was over. It put a huge wedge between myself and DH as he wasn't ready for another baby and I felt like he didn't care that we lost it. We actually separated for 6 months back then because I couldn't cope with my feelings and I guess I blamed him. He was just as upset as me it turns out, but was being strong for me. My other losses I was kind of numb I guess. Except the one where I saw the heartbeat slow and stop at my 8 weeks u/s. Then decided to wait to miscarry naturally...took 4 weeks. Really messed with my head carry my dead baby for 4 weeks.

But you will get through this!! I promise it gets easier...massive hugs!!

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Originally Posted by Princess of Pink

I just looked at your ticker Cinss and realised this is my 3rd month TTC...OMG that is so not normal for me! LOL I guess I have been spoilt! April will be it for the both of us....and there will be no-one left in here cause dloui will be getting a BFP this cycle too!!

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Three months is no big deal, POP. Maybe some of this swaying stuff is setting your system on a different course for a bit. What are you doing in terms of timing and lube and all that? And I am I SURE that I will still be here! :sigh:

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Originally Posted by Bec

Thanks Lola. I have times when I feel like I am ok and then something will happen and I will just start crying. Like, today we took DD1 to swimming lessons and it's the first time we have been since we found about about the m/c and it made me so upset. Silly little things like that! DH is really supportive and I know how much it upsets him too but I feel like he just doesn't feel the way I do. I always had compassion for people that have had a m/c but I never really knew what it felt like until now. Anyway, life goes on I guess!

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Yes, it does. And it sometimes helped me to remember that it happens ALL the time to millions of women. Don't feel bad about having your random break-downs.....I still do sometimes, just about my whole situation. I get a lump in my throat when I see a pregnant woman or a baby, so that is pretty much, um, several times daily. I really believe it is healthy to grieve that loss just like you would anyone, because he/she was someone to you, although a tiny little tadpole sized little one. Are you taking a few months off from ttc? That also really helped me, but everyone has different needs, so you may decide its best to jump back in the saddle sooner. And you are right, the men don't understand it as much, and it's not their fault.....when you are early like we were, there is no big belly, no traumatizing still born, and you know, what they can't see and feel is hard for them to identify with, I guess. As long as he is there for you and giving you lots of love and nurturing, he is doing a good job. You'll get your baby soon enough, just take your time to feel good about ttc again and don't be afraid. Look at sweet Jen with her little Charlie....and so many of us.....you'll get there! xoxo

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Originally Posted by Princess of Pink

I was the same way with my first loss Bec. Everything upset me, everything was the first time since we lost the baby, I hated going out and seeing pregnant women or women with babies. I felt like my life was over. It put a huge wedge between myself and DH as he wasn't ready for another baby and I felt like he didn't care that we lost it. We actually separated for 6 months back then because I couldn't cope with my feelings and I guess I blamed him. He was just as upset as me it turns out, but was being strong for me. My other losses I was kind of numb I guess. Except the one where I saw the heartbeat slow and stop at my 8 weeks u/s. Then decided to wait to miscarry naturally...took 4 weeks. Really messed with my head carry my dead baby for 4 weeks.

But you will get through this!! I promise it gets easier...massive hugs!!

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Oh POP, I'm sorry to hear you had such a hard time. You are also right- some men just don't know how to cope with loss like that and aren't good at expressing their emotions (which many of them aren't anyway!).

cycle day one, that's NO fun !
cycle day two, i say BOOO !

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Originally Posted by Princess of Pink

I was the same way with my first loss Bec. Everything upset me, everything was the first time since we lost the baby, I hated going out and seeing pregnant women or women with babies. I felt like my life was over. It put a huge wedge between myself and DH as he wasn't ready for another baby and I felt like he didn't care that we lost it. We actually separated for 6 months back then because I couldn't cope with my feelings and I guess I blamed him. He was just as upset as me it turns out, but was being strong for me. My other losses I was kind of numb I guess. Except the one where I saw the heartbeat slow and stop at my 8 weeks u/s. Then decided to wait to miscarry naturally...took 4 weeks. Really messed with my head carry my dead baby for 4 weeks.

But you will get through this!! I promise it gets easier...massive hugs!!

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I'm sorry that you have had to go through so many losses. That must have been so devastating watching the heartbeat stop:( That's what I am most afraid of about TTC again, what if it happens again and I never get another baby? DH was pretty upset and I know that if it happened again he might not want to TTC again at all.

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Originally Posted by LolaInLove

Yes, it does. And it sometimes helped me to remember that it happens ALL the time to millions of women. Don't feel bad about having your random break-downs.....I still do sometimes, just about my whole situation. I get a lump in my throat when I see a pregnant woman or a baby, so that is pretty much, um, several times daily. I really believe it is healthy to grieve that loss just like you would anyone, because he/she was someone to you, although a tiny little tadpole sized little one. Are you taking a few months off from ttc? That also really helped me, but everyone has different needs, so you may decide its best to jump back in the saddle sooner. And you are right, the men don't understand it as much, and it's not their fault.....when you are early like we were, there is no big belly, no traumatizing still born, and you know, what they can't see and feel is hard for them to identify with, I guess. As long as he is there for you and giving you lots of love and nurturing, he is doing a good job. You'll get your baby soon enough, just take your time to feel good about ttc again and don't be afraid. Look at sweet Jen with her little Charlie....and so many of us.....you'll get there! xoxo

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I think about that too, it hasn't just happened to me, lots and lots of women have been through it and actually far worse than me. I have two, healthy little girls and I know there are so many women that would give anything for that. I am lucky. They day we found out about the m/c DH and I both said we wouldn't TTC for a while but we've since talked about it and decided that we want to try again as soon as we can and once we get the ok from my doctor. But we are afraid I guess, just so worried that it will happen again. But DH keeps telling me why worry about something that might not even happen, so I am trying to think positively!

So who's actually left here still? Me, Cinss, PoP, Lola, dloui... anyone I've missed? Yahmama and LBAM were taking a break for a little while I think.