Struggling with pigeon pair families.. still

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Originally Posted by lucysky

I feel like PP are all I see around me. Especially in movies and tv. It's like the world is mocking me.

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Oh for sure on TV... commercials and print ads of "families" are almost always with BG. I never noticed it much before (probably bc I grew up BG) but they are. Or if they have 2+ kids they still have one of each. I hate it, but at the same time totally get it ... after all, I didn't want 3 of a kind and that's WHY I came to this board, KWIM?

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Originally Posted by BABYPINK3

I really think its a case of the grass is greener....
I have a pigeon Pair, A girl then a Boy.
I never really thought about it at the time but after I had my girl the midwife said "you are so lucky to have a girl, it doesnt matter what you have next, because you have got your girl" now I get it. and sometimes I feel incredibly guilty around mothers with all boys about having a girl because I did absolutely nothing to sway for her. Although I was a text book girl dieter at the time, low fat everything, worked out everyday, skipped brekky and drank diet drinks. and not sure baout time but it was neither frequent or long abstinence.

When I conceived my boy it was taking a long time to conceive. I just wanted to get pregnant so unintentionally became a textbook boy dieter to promote fertility and timing was definately all through ovulation, chinese medicine accupunture everything.

You could say i had it all - a boy and a girl, the family was equal but I just felt the need to have another, to give my daughter a sister, or my son a brother. I looked at families with 3 kids, any combination and just felt envious. classic case of the grass is greener.

After months of convincing my DH to try for number 3 I am 8 weeks pregnant.... and feeling very nervous that I did the right thing. If its not a girl like we hoped for my son will be very happy to have a playmate but I will have to deal with the gender disappointment for my daughter. that will be hard.
Thanks for letting me share my story.

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The grass is always greener for sure! Whether it's the perfect pigeon pair, perhaps there's always a little envy with other family's gender sets. I had 2 boys then a girl, most thought and said that's great, now you're done!! Only then did I think, but what about a sister for my DD? My DH said NO, but 4 years later we welcomed DD's 3rd brother :-) . At 4yrs, she just loved having a baby to cuddle.

Now pregnant with number 5 part of me wants a DD for our girl to have a sister and the other part wants another DS so our little boy has a brother closer in age. My older two sons are only 2 years apart, but 11 and 9 years older than their baby brother. I can really see the age gap and how much he wants to be with the 'big boys' but at 2, is way too little for BMX riding and skateboarding around the block lol.

I'm happy either way, but will be have GD for one of my younger two children. It's amazing just how many people always saw themselves having a certain blend of genders with their children. Maybe it's the thought, not the reality. That's what my best friend says when I talk of not having a sister. She has 4 sisters and always dreamed of a brother. We can never win...unless you have 2 boys and 2 girls, like the Danish Royals!!!

My sister had a boy, then 2 years later a girl, then 2 years later another girl. Really grated on my nerves!!

my neighbour has 3 boys and 1 girl. My other neighbour has 2 boys and 1 girl.....after having 3 boys, am I not entitled to have my girl also???? I'm 8 weeks pregnant with #4 now. Please dear God....let it be a little girl...

Hey, I recognize you from that other board, the one with the damn monkeys...just wanted to say HUGE congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope it's your dream come true.

I dont have a problem with pigeon pairs, I do if I hear the comment "I dont need anymore kids cause I have one of each" now that gets under my skin.

It's interesting cause PP NEVER appealed to me. i always felt sorry for kids that didn't have the same gender sibling, maybe cause we were all girls growing up. My ideal was always BBGG--I wont ever get that :(

I never wanted a PP...my husband did but I always wanted 2 of each, in any order really, with no desire for one gender over the other as long as I got both...LOL.

I do however understand the whole getting annoyed at parents of PP's...not all of course but they are generally the ones who wouldn't understand all of this...the whole gender desire thing. I know of a few.
If you are a parent of a PP and are on this forum then none of this really applies to you because to some degree you MUST understand what we all feel here or you would not be here yourselves.
The truth is though that most of us DO know of someone with the PP who brags about how they got one of each and/or are not tolerant of others and how they feel.

I LOVE that I have the 2 girls close in age...they will always have a special bond, my sister was much older than me but we luckily still have a wonderful bond, but my girls will share things together at the same time. I worry about if this baby is another girl whether it will upset the balance and if it's a boy I grieve for the brother it will never have. I guess we just have to let ourselves get over the fact that the little picture we had of our perfect family in our own heads has not/may not ever happen. Tough to let go of though I know.

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Originally Posted by grasshopper

I never wanted a PP...my husband did but I always wanted 2 of each, in any order really, with no desire for one gender over the other as long as I got both...LOL.

I do however understand the whole getting annoyed at parents of PP's...not all of course but they are generally the ones who wouldn't understand all of this...the whole gender desire thing. I know of a few.
If you are a parent of a PP and are on this forum then none of this really applies to you because to some degree you MUST understand what we all feel here or you would not be here yourselves.
The truth is though that most of us DO know of someone with the PP who brags about how they got one of each and/or are not tolerant of others and how they feel.

I LOVE that I have the 2 girls close in age...they will always have a special bond, my sister was much older than me but we luckily still have a wonderful bond, but my girls will share things together at the same time. I worry about if this baby is another girl whether it will upset the balance and if it's a boy I grieve for the brother it will never have. I guess we just have to let ourselves get over the fact that the little picture we had of our perfect family in our own heads has not/may not ever happen. Tough to let go of though I know.

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I NEVER wanted a PP and somehow that's what my first two (successful) pregnancies were. Funny how it seems you never get what you want. I think siblings of the same gender have more in common to share/play/bond together. I'm thankful my girls have each other but i feel so sorry my son doesn't have a best bud like i see so many of my friends who have 2 boys close in age. I so desperately want that for him. That is mostly why i have gender desire, but also because my son is such a joy and he being my first i just miss having a little boy around. They're different from girls and even though i love my girls so much i just yearn for another little boy.

I figured out over Christmas what it is for me that is hard with the PP ... I'm happy enough not to have one, BUT ... I never, ever got to experience hearing that I was getting my desired gender. At least people with a PP get that experience one time, KWIM? Whether they want a boy or a girl (because everyone has a preference, no matter how slight) at least ONCE they get to walk out of the ultrasound/birth with a feeling of joy. I've never felt that. I've left every time trying to rationalize why having girls (1,2, and 3) is great ... not that it isn't, I adore them, but it was never what I wanted, so I've never gotten to have the feeling of joy that must come from getting what you prefer.

So that's what I envy about PP parents. At least once, for each of them, they got what they wanted. I wanted that experience so badly and will never have it.