Originally Posted by
Thorz300
I am so sorry for your pain......I am not a grandmother, but I have already sensed that I will feel the way you described when I am a grandmother. Friends and family know I am sad that I don't have a girl and they always say...."well, you will have and love granddaughters!!!" My response has always been (and you confirmed it)....It is not the same thing. Grandchildren are GENERALLY closer to their maternal grandparents for the fact that the kids are always with their mother and their mom will go visit her mom way more often than her mother in law. My boys LOVE my mom and get so excited to see her. They love DH mother too, but not in the same way. When we used to live near both grandma's I took the kids to see my mother in law and she came to greet the boys at the car and to my horror, my 2 year old started crying kicking and screaming...."I want to see gammy (my mom) not Nana!!" I felt so awful for my mother in law. She said, "Oh it's ok honey you can see gammy next" but I know it killed her.
With that said, I am sure you are a wonderful grandmother, but I must mention that it can also depend on what kind of grandparent a person is. My mother in law loves my boys for about 10 minutes when we get to her house, then moves on with doing her own thing. My mother on the other hand is on the floor playing with them, taking them on walks, and scavenger hunts, at night she turns all the lights off and the gather together on the floor with a flashlight, shine it on the wall and make shadow ducks, dogs, and airplanes project on the wall. She is just way more involved with the kids and they prefer her because of it.
But still, I fear no matter how hard I try or how good of a grandmother I am, kids are most often naturally closer to their maternal grandmother. I wish it wasn't this way and I am so sorry for you. I know I shouldn't be thinking of this already, but I know I will be right where you are some day! I am so sorry!