Cut offs

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Originally Posted by iluvmyman

LOL! Oh, I totally know about the kids interuppting. :)

I was really thinking about where I was at on the milk and other sway techniques and I think I have my inner thoughts together. Ok, here I go.....less than 15% daily calcium means that I'm not thrilled cuz I love dairy. DTD only once and after 4 days or so of abstaining seems like the most hard core way to go. Ions feel like there is something I'm doing to sway. EW's and BS to up PH feels like I'm doing something extraoridinay. All of these things are debatable and may even hurt your sway.

If I don't do these things or I'm not really putting crazy effort into this sway or if I don't feel somewhat punished, missing out, or seriously sacrificing (like dairy) then I'm not "swaying" at all. I guess, if it doesn't feel miserable, then it's not good enough. I swear this is not a normal personailty issue for me.

I didn't however, enjoy the BFN so I might DTD twice. My concern would be, if you DTD the 2 days before, you would have little girls waiting there to get to the egg 1st (this is incorrect shettles info now, right, that girls live longer? )and also that less sperm soldiers would be ready for the 2nd attempt 2 days later. I don't want however, that DTD only once 12hrs after 1st OPK to lessen my shot at pregnancy. Augh! I thought I read to DTD the 2nd night of + OPK was the right timing for boy. LOL, this is why I really need to re-read all of "your" sticky's. :)

Either way, when we try again this month, I have already blown the diet on the 2WW, and will be swaying outside my pre-conceived "Perfect" sway anyway.

Let's hope for a BFP, because, if this goes on too many months then I will start struggling w/ being in the "summer" birth territory and I've given birth to my 2 DD's in July and both DS in the winter (Nov/Dec).

Atomic, this was NOT supposed to take more than 1 attempt. :) I suppose I should have had a "what if I don't get a BFP" scenario in mind. Man, if i was in my 20's this would not be so rushed. :)

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i hear ya. personally, im a perfectionist and NEED or prefer strict guidelines. some ppl work better when given freedom. im just taking into account what i THOUGHT i did with my 2 DDs (one born in june the other in feb) and doing the opposite. thats ALL the info i have on myself. i have no blood tests, minerals count, etc (i didnt sway with both dds for either gender but always wanted/thought they would be boys). i only know what i did and after reading all the stickies and IG and whatever, MOST things makes sense. *i* believe calcium = girls bc i was on calcium SUPPLEMENTS (bc i read its good to do that for bone growth in fetus), so i started earlier than when i TTCd. i believe the timing, shettles etc for ME bc i bd''d EVERY day starting from as SOON as i saw anything remotely thick and stretchy.
after studying my body hard core recently i now know that i BARELY have creamy CM (maybe 1-2 days) and have mostly EW, so why didnt i get a boy? prob bc i we dtd everyday (no chance for sperm to replenish), ate a lot of chicken (didnt i read somewhere that red meat was better for boys), cheese, yogurt, etc.

i guess what it comes down to is we can do everything hardcore sway for boy/girl but you still may get the opposite..bc like atomic has said in her stickies....boys/girls have been born thru out history without supplements, calicum pills, etc...and there are boys and girls born in every month winter or summer, etc. so i/we can just try our best and hope it works.

having said that, i STILL want a BOY!!!!!!!!!

and i love this site. i think atomic and viviene and whoever (sorry!) do a great job with it!! really APPRECIATE IT!

Iluv, I thought it would take me one shot with opks....I got pg with my girls without even trying, albeit in my 20s. Now, at 35 I feel a bit more rushed, but I will be ttc again on month 12, so here are a few things I've learned since swaying this long: you will always second guess your sway, even if you feel like it was perfectly planned. You may take some time to get pg, so don't let the bfns get you down. You may have several months before you get a bfp, or hey, you may get a bfp on the first try. You never know. Best to have some "breathing room" in your mind about that. Also, you will adjust your sway month after month if you take some time to get pg. I like to think of it as personalizing your sway even better each month. Your opinions about various factors may change from month to month, but it doesn't mean you have a crappy sway if you don't incorporate one thing or another. It's all really a crapshoot anyway (see Atomic's DICE theory). All this mostly to say, don't get down if it doesn't happen right away. I don't get pg on a one-shot deal. I DTD like Atomic suggests above, on O-2 and then O, and sometimes on O-1 and then O. Next time, we are going for the SMEP or Deanna's plan, because I just want to get pg before I get too depressed about it all and just give up. Just do what is best for you, physically and emotionally, and get yourself pregnant first and foremost.

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Originally Posted by TTC5

I think dh's sperm count it fine, we have 4 girls and when trying for them we bd every day pretty much, lol.
Just can't figure how to do my cut off as my ovulation is so random =(

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BD every day may sway pink even in a man with very high sperm count because you don't allow enough time for the sperm numbers to recover. For best results, instead try DTD every two days in your fertile window since your O is irregular, you will allow enough time for sperm count to recover inbetween BD sessions but you'll still be avoiding the girl timing zones.

So - any time you think you may be fertile (you see EWCM), DTD, skip 2 days, DTD again. If you get a + opk in there, then BD 12 hours after UNLESS you just BD.

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Originally Posted by iluvmyman

LOL! Oh, I totally know about the kids interuppting. :)

I was really thinking about where I was at on the milk and other sway techniques and I think I have my inner thoughts together. Ok, here I go.....less than 15% daily calcium means that I'm not thrilled cuz I love dairy. DTD only once and after 4 days or so of abstaining seems like the most hard core way to go. Ions feel like there is something I'm doing to sway. EW's and BS to up PH feels like I'm doing something extraoridinay. All of these things are debatable and may even hurt your sway.

If I don't do these things or I'm not really putting crazy effort into this sway or if I don't feel somewhat punished, missing out, or seriously sacrificing (like dairy) then I'm not "swaying" at all. I guess, if it doesn't feel miserable, then it's not good enough. I swear this is not a normal personailty issue for me.

I didn't however, enjoy the BFN so I might DTD twice. My concern would be, if you DTD the 2 days before, you would have little girls waiting there to get to the egg 1st (this is incorrect shettles info now, right, that girls live longer? )and also that less sperm soldiers would be ready for the 2nd attempt 2 days later. I don't want however, that DTD only once 12hrs after 1st OPK to lessen my shot at pregnancy. Augh! I thought I read to DTD the 2nd night of + OPK was the right timing for boy. LOL, this is why I really need to re-read all of "your" sticky's. :)

Either way, when we try again this month, I have already blown the diet on the 2WW, and will be swaying outside my pre-conceived "Perfect" sway anyway.

Let's hope for a BFP, because, if this goes on too many months then I will start struggling w/ being in the "summer" birth territory and I've given birth to my 2 DD's in July and both DS in the winter (Nov/Dec).

Atomic, this was NOT supposed to take more than 1 attempt. :) I suppose I should have had a "what if I don't get a BFP" scenario in mind. Man, if i was in my 20's this would not be so rushed. :)

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I completely understand and that is how a lot of people feel too. Like swaying has to be this big complicated ordeal or it won't work. I really think that's why swaying has evolved to be so ridiculously strict. It's almost turned into an OCD-like set of rituals involving alchemy and transmogriphication LOL. But it doesn't fit in with nature - if it had to be like that to conceive a baby of a particular gender, then the human race would seriously have died out long ago. It cannot be that hard to conceive kids of both genders because most people manage it at least once without giving it a second's thought.

To answer your question, if you DTD 2 days before, there will be some sperm of BOTH genders there waiting for the egg. Shettles has been 100% debunked because both X and Y sperm are roughly the same size and live the same amount of time (if anything, Y may even live LONGER!) It ~is~ possible that less numbers of sperm will be produced (because the maximum number seems to be at 4 days abstinence) but it is going to be different for every guy at every time. Some guys recover quicker than others do and some months are probably better than others (I seriously think my husband's sperm sneer at frequent BD - he can still DTD 2 times in a row and he is 41 years old. :p) So just because one study says 4 days is best, that doesn't mean anything for you personally. 4 days was best for the guys who were in the study, on average, but I really do think that 2 days is totally adequate for most men. And even if less sperm is produced, it will probably be like the difference between 22 million and 23 million or something like that - there will still be PLENTY of sperm on hand.

If your DH is taking supps to help with sperm quality and if you are doing things to help with increasing EWCM, then even if his count is slightly less than it might have been if he had abstained for 4 days instead of 2, it won't matter because you have done SO MUCH to help those sperm survive, it's not going to make any difference if he makes 22 million sperm rather than 23 million anyway because more of them will survive to make it to the egg. You will still have every chance at conceiving a son and in fact you'll up your chances because you BD twice instead of just once...does that make any sense? Another kind of roundabout answer there. :/

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Originally Posted by gizmo77

i hear ya. personally, im a perfectionist and NEED or prefer strict guidelines. some ppl work better when given freedom. im just taking into account what i THOUGHT i did with my 2 DDs (one born in june the other in feb) and doing the opposite. thats ALL the info i have on myself. i have no blood tests, minerals count, etc (i didnt sway with both dds for either gender but always wanted/thought they would be boys). i only know what i did and after reading all the stickies and IG and whatever, MOST things makes sense. *i* believe calcium = girls bc i was on calcium SUPPLEMENTS (bc i read its good to do that for bone growth in fetus), so i started earlier than when i TTCd. i believe the timing, shettles etc for ME bc i bd''d EVERY day starting from as SOON as i saw anything remotely thick and stretchy.
after studying my body hard core recently i now know that i BARELY have creamy CM (maybe 1-2 days) and have mostly EW, so why didnt i get a boy? prob bc i we dtd everyday (no chance for sperm to replenish), ate a lot of chicken (didnt i read somewhere that red meat was better for boys), cheese, yogurt, etc.

i guess what it comes down to is we can do everything hardcore sway for boy/girl but you still may get the opposite..bc like atomic has said in her stickies....boys/girls have been born thru out history without supplements, calicum pills, etc...and there are boys and girls born in every month winter or summer, etc. so i/we can just try our best and hope it works.

having said that, i STILL want a BOY!!!!!!!!!

and i love this site. i think atomic and viviene and whoever (sorry!) do a great job with it!! really APPRECIATE IT!

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I know a lot of people want to be told, "Do X,Y,Z" but the problem is there is no guarantee and we don't even KNOW what the right things to do are, really. It just feels dishonest to me to tell people to perform this strict, unvarying set of rituals that isn't even proven by science and then blame them when it goes bad, because EVERYONE had that moment where they ate a burger or had an ice cream cone and no one's sway failed because of it. Plus it hurts people's sways and lowers their chances because I am with ya 110%, it's different for every person and you have to look at what you did and didn't do before (because for me, I also ate tons of calcium and took calcium supps and I have 4 boys!) I WISH I could tell everyone just to do this very simple list of things and give them a guarantee but I just don't feel good about it.

PS - I'm not saying anyone is overtly blaming anyone when their sway goes bad but I know for a fact that attitude is def. out there and I didn't appreciate getting yelled at when my sway went bad.

You ladies are all SO wonderful. I think the emotion and that we will do anything for our children plays a roll here but the opposite side of that is the GD if we don't get the desired outcome. I think my heart as been being worked on about having a healthy child at all and I've mellowed out a bit after the 1st attempt. We can only do what we can do and that's the truth of it. I think you have a healthy attitude about it, Atomic, and it's so great to hear from you. I'm personally going to try to DTD on CD12 & CD14 this time to up my chances. I'm a bit dissapointed about my diet but I'm ready to give it a go either way and even thinking about girl names just in case.

I have everything crossed for you Iluv. ((((hugs)))) and prayers.

Atomic and everyone else how does my plan sound?

Ok so I tend to get a fade in pattern like this.. I go from clear - to a starting to darken up this lasts a day maybe 2. Then i get a very close to + and next day a def +. I am considering to DTD on the NIGHT of the def +. I will get DH to release on the evening that the tests start to darken up giving us a 48 - possible 72 hr abstaining period before DTD.

Thought??? I need help!!

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Originally Posted by TTC5

Atomic and everyone else how does my plan sound?

Ok so I tend to get a fade in pattern like this.. I go from clear - to a starting to darken up this lasts a day maybe 2. Then i get a very close to + and next day a def +. I am considering to DTD on the NIGHT of the def +. I will get DH to release on the evening that the tests start to darken up giving us a 48 - possible 72 hr abstaining period before DTD.

Thought??? I need help!!

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That sounds like a great plan! Excellent!

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I know a lot of people want to be told, "Do X,Y,Z" but the problem is there is no guarantee and we don't even KNOW what the right things to do are, really. It just feels dishonest to me to tell people to perform this strict, unvarying set of rituals that isn't even proven by science and then blame them when it goes bad, because EVERYONE had that moment where they ate a burger or had an ice cream cone and no one's sway failed because of it. Plus it hurts people's sways and lowers their chances because I am with ya 110%, it's different for every person and you have to look at what you did and didn't do before (because for me, I also ate tons of calcium and took calcium supps and I have 4 boys!) I WISH I could tell everyone just to do this very simple list of things and give them a guarantee but I just don't feel good about it.

PS - I'm not saying anyone is overtly blaming anyone when their sway goes bad but I know for a fact that attitude is def. out there and I didn't appreciate getting yelled at when my sway went bad.

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well said. even tho i saythat i NEED stricter guidelines, its more about me being strict with my own set of rules, not necessarily forcing ppl around me to be the same way. when i do something i do it all the way. i know in my heart that NONE of this stuff is 100% proven or will work for sure. and even if it was scientifically proven it STILL wouldnt be surefire bc like you have said studies are based on a small sample of ppl. so i cant even believe in science 100%. i can only believe in God 100% (altho some can question THAT too). thats why i keep telling myself, go as far as you can, then pray for it! and see what happens! i will be happy with healthy children (and a boy!!) jk! but i will still try to go all the way with the sway! thats why it bothers me personally about some of the conttradtictions but then i just take it witha grain of salt and remind myself nothing is guaranteed...
ps i would never ever ever hold you or anyone responsible for a failed sway. but i can defly see how initial emotions of a failed sway could come out as 'blame.' its a normal part of grieving. nonetheless, not nice!!