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That's why I think gender doesn't matter. Some people just get a kick out of saying rude things. And isn't it the easiest thing to hurt someone with regards to their family? Anyone can guess you want a boy, as anyone can guess I want a girl. Dumb, simple, rude people like to play with other people's minds, only for them to feel better about their own sad lives. Shame on them!Quote:
Originally Posted by Adia
It is not about gender, is it? It is about taunting people! Playing with their emotions and soft spots!Quote:
Originally Posted by Adia
We are three sisters and our mum told me to pray for a brother.
We grew up to be the most well educated and well mannered girls in our family, and our parents are so proud of us. They dont miss having a boy now!
I think it is just that we want to experience both genders, not that the ones we have are not able to make us content and happy....
Your MIL is mean, just like mine. We should just ignore them!
Hugs
Xxxx
MIL still went on about her other DS's sons (she has 5 sons including DH and 2 DD)...it really as is if the girls just don't count. It is beyond stupid and makes them look really dumb and uneducated....not to mention lacking manners.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana-Alicia
I know FOR A FACT that MIL had hoped one of her younger DS was a girl because she didn't get along well with her other girls....but its all a game to them. She pushes us having boys because FIL says he need grandsons to carry on the family name. Hate to tell them but my DDs are already more accomplished and open minded than all of their grandsons...and my girls are young!
I usually ignore them but this TTC journey has been so heartbreaking that I was completely bracing for the shit they give me every time I see them...but DH took care of it for me and that makes me so proud of him.
Yeah, the crap people give about gender is a reflection of their own issues, its just hard to remember that in the trenches of GD.
I think you are right. MIL and FIL had 2DD and 5 DS so they feel superior to those of us who can only produce one gender. They are in an extreme religion that teaches them they have all the answers and anyone who dares to leave the religion (such as DH and I) will be punished....3 girls & no boys is our punishment.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Cauliflower
As of a few months ago I am the only DD or DIL that hasn't produced a son...if they want me to feel inferior for that they will have to go elsewhere.
I am not a failure because I have all girls. Already my my kids are better educated, more well rounded, more well mannered kids than all of their cousins!
I have to agree with you, I just want to experience both genders. I am so happy to have girls, if I had had all boys I would desperately want a girl.
Cauliflower - I am so glad you posted this. The 'saying' has been rolling around in my mind since I found out two weeks ago I was pregnant with our second son (and last, no more babies for us). Many tears have been shed over that saying.
Luckily for me I didn't have the family pressure for a girl like you have - in fact quite the opposite. A boy is a rare thing on my side of the family. Gender disappointment is not, my grandmother wished my mum - her third and final child, was a boy and my mum wished that I was a boy (only child, not by choice). So DS one has been like the 'golden child' and it seemed everyone (my mum, my husband, my son) wanted another boy. So amongst their cheers and happiness I've felt quite alone and misunderstood in my disappointment.
My son is gorgeous, love him to pieces and it's not like I wanted a girl to dress-up and play tea parties with ... I've always been a bit of a tomboy and am actually more at home around cars than I am around dollies.
But, I wanted that bond later in life. I wanted to have the same relationship to a daughter that I have with my mum and SIL and MIL share. It doesn't help that I think about the men in my family (and as I said before ... there aren't many) and the relationships they have with their mothers and it saddens me.
My dad ignores his mother. Despite her not living very far away, will go months without seeing her and to see her is like a chore to him. Granted the woman is not perfect, but she has not done him any terrible 'injustice' to ruin their relationship.
I feel so terribly silly that the baby isn't even out of my womb and yet I'm stressing about what is going to happen 20 years into the future - it's almost like I'm grieving a loss of a relationship already when it hasn't even begun.
I'm sorry I've probably gone on a bit of a ramble too. I don't think we are doomed without daughters - maybe just doomed by trying to meet the expectations of close minded people. I wish you the best and hope your MIL keeps her meddling to herself.
Thank you for sharing your stories! Helps me a lot when I am TTC and have bad GD...
Xxxx