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I honestly think the pain doesn't go away, I still battle it daily...but it has gotten easier. I started in a very ugly place with horrible thoughts and now it's not near as bad as when I found out. So far so good on progressing, I just know that twinge will never go away, but I'm glad it's not so strong.
I think so too. I don't believe I will ever stop not pining to have a daughter but it does get less painful as life goes on. You must have met that new wee man by now. I hope having him in your arms has caused for some healing and you are both doing well. xoQuote:
Originally Posted by GimmeaG
:bighug: wow I've just managed to stop the tears after reading this post. I'm so sorry this has happend to you after everything you put into it. I always get ready angry when I read story's like this , then you hear story's on the news about abandoned babies , babies who are beaten, babies born to drug addicts , it's so upsetting. I am now 18 weeks pregnant with my 3rd , I was praying for a girl too , I booked myself an early private gender scan , to be told I was having a girl , I was so over the moon I cried with joy all day , I was also shocked because there is not very many girls in dh family. I posted my potty shot on a site to be told it looked like boy bits , in a panic I called the company asking for a re scan , they scanned me 2 days ago and told me I am indeed expecting my 3rd boy. I know I'll love him just the same but I feel like I've lost a daughter I never had and it's sad everyone keeps saying who cares aslong as the baby is healthy , they don't understand xx sending hugs xx
The pain doesn't go away it just hides and comes around when you least expect it!
With DS1 I wanted a boy. I always wanted a boy first. My sweet lil mamas boy. Well he turned out to be grandmas boy at 3mths and has always been hers. I do love that he has a great bond with her because I loved my grandma beyond anyone else. DS1 was not planned and was conceived a few days before AF, during the 1 week off birth control, in a swimming pool, and right before a week vacation in Mexico.
With DS2 I thought this would be a girl because I already had a boy. My parents, stepmom, aunts, uncles, even my brother all conceived pigeon pairs so I thought it would just happen that way. DH was with me in the US room when they said another boy. I was calm and ok. We called MIL and told her in the parking lot, she had to nerve to say next time it will be a girl. After DH went back to work and I started to drive home, I cried so hard I had to pull over to avoid and accident. I did often think and pray for God to allow me to miscarry. I cried for a month before I excepted it. I decided if I was going to have another boy he was going to be a mamas boy. Ok so he was! I held him 24/7 and he was so attached to me. I love the silly butt.
With DS3 we swayed for a long time. I do have a vitamin absorption defect so I knew with the extra vitamins I was more likely to have another boy. I tried to go really strong in the beginning but changed after 3mths. I did a middle of the road sway, but still nothing. So for a few months I did hardly anything and still nothing. I did give up during Christmas but DH still wanted to keep trying. I was off the diet but still ate a few things. I took a few pills the week before O. I conceived twins, later confirmed BG, lost the G at 8wks. My DS3 was born perfect and I do love him but... sometimes I look at him and think he is a girl. He looks like me as a baby. He has my blue eyes and my smile. I should have made him a girl dress for baptism instead of the blue sailor outfit. When I was painting my toe nails and he came up and stuck his toe next to mine I painted it without even looking at his face. I have even put a little hair ribbon in his hair but had to cut his hair so he could look more like a boy. There are many times I catch myself thinking the wrong one survived which is a horrible thought, because I cry just thinking about life without him. Even my husband once said that he wished "his" girl was here, "she" should be in this family photo, why would god give us a girl if only to take her away.
DS3 is now 19mths old and we still cry, think, and talk about the what if's... I want #4 to be a girl so we can think about other things, like the sunrise in Mexico with our 3B and 1G playing in the tide pools. Building a play house next to the Pirate Ship. Finally sewing something with the fabric my great grandma bought before she passed away (she was going to make me pjs). Giving my MIL her first biologically related girl that will never say "you are my fake grandma".
I only ever wanted one girl and that is all I ever ask for!