Outlander

Mamato3 I totally agree, the four roughest & toughest kids I know are my friend's 4 daughters. These 4 girls are so aggressive i have numerous friends of both genders who have expressed concerns about allowing their kids to play with these girls because they are so rough. i would take 3 sons over one of those daughters any day of he week!! (Not meaning your dayghters are like that, just meaning I agree that energy & boistrousness aren't necessarily "boy things")

2boys you know when I'm really thankful for my 2 sons? Whenever I have to go birthday shopping for someone with a girl. So many girls toys are so LIMITING & sexist. It makes me sad, & grateful not to have to "filter" so much. I mean of course I do still make sure what I give my sons is appropriate for our family values (NO GUNS) but it seems that I'd be doing far more of that if I had a daughter. (Don't get me wrong, I still WANT a daughter & hope this baby is one, but the toy situation makes me feel a little better in case she doesn't come along).

Here's a question for everyone. If there was no gender inequality would there be a site such as this?


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It's hard to say but I think there probably would be Sarah. Even if men & women were totally equal worldwide there are undeniable differences (generally speaking) between the sexes. I think that extends to the unique relationships between mother & daughter, father & son, father & daughter, mother & son. So I think it's probably natural for most (not all) people to want the experience of parenting both genders, regardless of one's view on gender equality.

I think Sarah has a point, but each one of us want a certain gender for his/her own reasons.
Especially for boys though (inspite that I personally want to TTC a boy so that I can feel the bond between mother and son) I think the need to produce male offsprings has to do with all the male stereotypes that occur worldwide, such as the fact that the family name is given by the father etc, etc...

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Originally Posted by PrimalMamma

Mamato3 I totally agree, the four roughest & toughest kids I know are my friend's 4 daughters. These 4 girls are so aggressive i have numerous friends of both genders who have expressed concerns about allowing their kids to play with these girls because they are so rough. i would take 3 sons over one of those daughters any day of he week!! (Not meaning your dayghters are like that, just meaning I agree that energy & boistrousness aren't necessarily "boy things")

2boys you know when I'm really thankful for my 2 sons? Whenever I have to go birthday shopping for someone with a girl. So many girls toys are so LIMITING & sexist. It makes me sad, & grateful not to have to "filter" so much. I mean of course I do still make sure what I give my sons is appropriate for our family values (NO GUNS) but it seems that I'd be doing far more of that if I had a daughter. (Don't get me wrong, I still WANT a daughter & hope this baby is one, but the toy situation makes me feel a little better in case she doesn't come along).

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I agree with you there. How do you even begin to explain to toddlers why they even MAKE pink Mega Blocks! Why can't there just be one kind of Mega Blocks, why do girls need a different colour than boys? Why must a girl need pink blocks in order to interested in them? Toys are the worst. The gender stereotyping is so evident when it comes to toys and clothing. The idea that pink clothing (pink anything!) symbolizes feminism is so absurd. I choose to raise my kids with human values instead of instilling stereotypical thinking.


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Originally Posted by Sarah4girl

Here's a question for everyone. If there was no gender inequality would there be a site such as this?


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Inequality really does contribute to GD but for me it's also about gender stereotyping and the whole "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" way of thinking. Fundamentally humans are all the same with same basic needs to survive and be happy yet most people believe that we are so different based upon a few different levels of the same hormones. For decades these stereotypes have added fuel to the century old beliefs of gender inequality and honestly I don't see things improving given the direction we are headed. For me I am stuck on how I can relate to girl better than a boy?!? It's been engraved in my head since I was born that we are so different and understanding is beyond our reach! How can I think otherwise!

The idea of the million dollar family, one boy and one girl offspring, is an old idea and we still hang on to it. Why? There must be some merit to. Maybe those families are happier, live longer, don't experience divorce, don't experience depression? I don't know what exactly it is but there must be some kind of evolutionary reason why mixed gender families are desired so much.


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Originally Posted by Sarah4girl

Here's a question for everyone. If there was no gender inequality would there be a site such as this?


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I think gender desire is 110% natural and born into us and I don't think gender inequality is the reason. I think there is some innate desire in most people to have a child of both genders and perhaps especially the child of the same gender. It's not true for every person and certainly not to the same extent but I do think it's absolutely natural. Just like how most people, but not all, are interested in having kids to begin with - that is def. a natural drive that the majority have, but not all to the same extent.

I actually have a very great pity for dads that want sons in the here and now because I think they have really bad social pressure put onto them to not mention/acknowledge it.

I am not sure the b/g family was seen as ideal till the 50's - only once family size really started getting limited did the B/G and done notion became prevalent.

I do think there is some evolutionary basis to it, because men had their work and women had their work and it would be helpful to have offspring that could assist with those tasks. I can't imagine being a pioneer woman with 7 sons and no daughters to help with the cooking and cleaning and stuff.

Then again, sometimes i wonder how accurate the info we get really is, about how things really were back in the day.

The history of my own GD comes from my family & extended family. My maternal grandmother had 4 children - boy, girl, boy, girl. Each one of them went on to have 2 children - All had pigeon pairs. One of my aunts had a 3rd (a boy) but that was after the pigeon pair. My cousins have only just started to have children, one has a son, & the other has a daughter & is pregnant with a son. So it is absolutely ingrained in my psyche that a pigeon pair is desirable & the ultimate success. Within my family there has always been pity shown to those people who have the same gender, ESPECIALLY boys. 2 girls is sort of seen as "oh well" but 2 boys is seen as something to grieve over, a real disappointment. It's sad really. I haven't mentioned swaying to them, & to their faces I have defended the all-boy make up of my family & told them I would actually prefer this baby to be a boy (which is not true). I just don't want this baby being seen as either first prize if its a girl or a booby prize if its a boy. The child I'm carrying is loved regardless & will not be born as "the daughter they always wanted" or "the boy that was meant to be a girl".

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Originally Posted by 2boysJustOneGirl

Well ladies the second music class was much better for my boy and myself! And you know what? I even felt superior for the first time ever! A dad was there with his daughter (they have two girls) and my son and I sat beside them. The dad found my son quiet entertaining and as my son asked for the second time "can we go home now, I want to see that digger " (he loves summer road repairs!) that dad was so Intrigued. And I thought...Ha!!!! Sucks to be you, you with your two girls. Ha ha ha. It's evil I know. But it was so nice to not be on the receiving end of it and for once my family was desirable.


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Not evil. I have had that before. Met a Dad at the playground with two gorgeous little girls and I was staring at his girls and him at my boys. Our eldest started playing together so we chatted a bit and He confessed his desire for a son but didn't see it happening due to how hard it was to conceive the girls. Made me feel a bit good about myself
:)