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:agree: :agree::agree:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mochagirl
Since I ramble about, I just wanted to add that most, if not all my worries are of technical nature - money, space we live in ( not large enough for 3 kids ) , organizing every day life ( we have 1 car, who will pick up the girls when I'm at home with baby),....you got my point.
I know I will love my baby and I have 0 concern about loving and fitting in the new member, just the 'technicalities' with one more are killing me :worry:
Same here, Z-B - I just think about how expensive life is with 3 kids and am worried that 4 are going to tip us over the edge. We already live paycheck to paycheck with absolutely no savings or buffer when something goes wrong like a leaky roof or an appliance breaking. Luckily, dh has a nice pension through his job so at least we don't have to worry about saving for retirement.
There's also the logistics of moving 4 kids around - Luckily we have a minivan with room for 4 car seats, but we're now at capacity, which means we can never drive anyone else anywhere. The kids are also all going to have to double up in bedrooms, and dh might have to lose his beloved home office. I also worry about how we're going to pay for university for 4 kids, though we'll send them even if we have to go even further in debt to do it.
This is us, too. We have always lived paycheck to paycheck, so if we have made it work for 3 kids, I suppose one more won't be too much harder.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mochagirl
I worry about my "job"--I babysit a few days a week. I wonder if anyone will still want to send their kids to me when I have so many of my own?
And I hadn't thought about the filled up car. We have an SUV, so we can fit 5 kids, so I guess that means we can only have one of the kids' friends with us at a time.
Oh I thought I was the only one who worries that far in advance :wink:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mochagirl
And yes, we too live from paycheck to paycheck, although we have small saving , it's melting down every month a bit, we don't put more money in anymore, just take when we're short.
Basically, will I take something away from my EXISTING children in order to have my dream come true. I can't decide is it selfish or just natural....
It never even occured to me when we chose to ttc #3 that there was anything we could do to influence the gender - we just wanted another baby and I thought there was a 50/50 chance of it being either a boy or a girl and I really didn't mind either way. Baby #4, however, was conceived because I wanted to try for a girl and I sold it to DH on the basis that I would always regret not trying but that neither of us would regret the child once it was here.
There were times when we were planning our sway that I wondered what the heck we were doing because I was quite content with not going through pregnancy and childbirth again and stopping at #3 probably would have been the sensible thing to do practically - however, now that I'm pregnant I'm excited about doing it all again and about the prospect of a new baby whether it's a boy or a girl and having #5 really isn't even a consideration. I'm lucky because I always knew I could be happy about a 4th boy, so long as I knew we'd done our best. It must be an incredibly hard decision to make when HT isn't an option for you and you're not sure that you could accept that situation.
Well what can I say? I ALREADY have 4 kids! And no I don't want just another baby I want a baby boy! So if you guys are screwed the Im screwed big time! We are all alone no one is around us so it is hard to do and money is very tight so yeah we not suppose to ttc at all. But I wish for a boy...
Anyway this is why we say last try if it's a bfn or another m/c either way we are done.:sad:
When I was younger I wanted many boys... After meeting hubby and deciding on having 2 kids I wanted to picture perfect family. It took sometime to get my hubby to say lets have a 3rd. I could get him to say 4 kids but 4 would be my limit. I love my boys and I plan activities around boyish things. Having a 3rd boy would be ok with me, Little Anthony or Henry would fit nicely in my family.
I dream of having a girl and I know it will be hard to not have one... but at least I can say I tried for a girl until I got pregnant and the rest was in God's hands. Not planning either of my boys I am please to say I am planning this pregnancy from the start of the prep work until I have a wiggleworm in the oven. I am not holding everything into having a girl and the option for a boy is there.... I have collected tons of girly clothing and shoes and it would kill me to not use it but I have so many cute boy clothing that I will have a hard time giving away.
My heart is open to the child that picks me to be it's mom.
My thoughts are set to pure love to the baby placed in my arms.
My happiness is seeing my children happy.
Trust me i think we all worry. ZB i also used to think it was more a cultural thing, but i think now its just about wanting balance regardless of nationality, but i know what you mean.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zivic-Bubac
Zanacal, i really hope u get ur girl, but in saying that im happy to hear that you've accepted the thought of knowing you could get another boy this is the place where i want to get to.Quote:
Originally Posted by zanacal
Thank you Capricorn x