Let's Try This Again, TTC Girl after Failed Sway

I convinced my hubby for baby #4 to try for a girl (we have a girl, boy, boy right now.) We were both super bummed to find out we are having another boy for #4 and although I’m so happy that I have my girl, I really wanted her to have a sister and now I’m fighting the thoughts that we should have just stopped with 3 kids. Like it would have been worth it if it was a girl but it’s a boy so it’s not. It’s been getting easier and I’m now excited to meet him in a few months. But it took me years to convince the hubby to agree to #4 and I didn’t realize how devastated we would be to find out it’s another boy. But I (think) I am excited about having 4 kids regardless of gender! And I know it will be worth it when I meet my precious baby boy. But it’s hard to let go of that girl dream. I just felt guilty for having a boy and felt so responsible. My husband really wanted to stop with 3 kids. Just wanted to tell my story with you. ❤️


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Thank you for sharing your story debahlgrim. I hope you are filled with love for you next little DS when he arrives and am sorry you were not able to have another DD. I understand that feeling of sadness/loss at not getting your desired gender but hope that in time you can come to terms with it .the decision as to whether to try again after a failed sway is a hard one and I know if we try again and it is another boy I will feel like I have fail my DH in not being able to give him a daughter. I think if we were guaranteed to get s girl third time around he would maybe contemplate it but knowing there is a high likelihood it could be another boy he doesn't want to try again mainly due to the financial cost, not enough space in our house and both of us getting older. One of the hardest decisions I have had to make, I love my two boys dearly but still feel like something is missing. Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. My hubby is definitely focused on the practical side of having 3 instead of 2 whereas I am much more emotional about it. Our DS doesn't even sleep through the night yet so DH would not even contemplate #3 yet but I know if we are ever going to try we only have a short window of time left due to our age.

Hello!i have 4 boys, and my last son was a hard sway for a girl. I definitely have severe gender disappointment and depression. We started swaying 3 months ago, I got pregnant last month, and just had s miscarriage on the 6th...so a few days ago,. We are trying one last time for our DD and I hope and pray it works this time.
Pink dust my way! Any tips besides the known would be greatly appreciated ❤️

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage 4boys, and I hope you can get your little girl soon. If I recall correctly I think a recent miscarriage sways pink but other than that I can't help as I am still to get my little girl too. Good luck

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Originally Posted by Debahlgrim

I convinced my hubby for baby #4 to try for a girl (we have a girl, boy, boy right now.) We were both super bummed to find out we are having another boy for #4 and although I’m so happy that I have my girl, I really wanted her to have a sister and now I’m fighting the thoughts that we should have just stopped with 3 kids. Like it would have been worth it if it was a girl but it’s a boy so it’s not. It’s been getting easier and I’m now excited to meet him in a few months. But it took me years to convince the hubby to agree to #4 and I didn’t realize how devastated we would be to find out it’s another boy. But I (think) I am excited about having 4 kids regardless of gender! And I know it will be worth it when I meet my precious baby boy. But it’s hard to let go of that girl dream. I just felt guilty for having a boy and felt so responsible. My husband really wanted to stop with 3 kids. Just wanted to tell my story with you. [emoji173]️


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Thank you for sharing your story Debahlgrim. You did what you could with your sway and a big part of this comes down to his sperm, although I know it's hard not to feel guilty. There are so many layers of hope and grief when it comes to building our families and I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

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Originally Posted by Kelbear

Thank you for sharing your story debahlgrim. I hope you are filled with love for you next little DS when he arrives and am sorry you were not able to have another DD. I understand that feeling of sadness/loss at not getting your desired gender but hope that in time you can come to terms with it .the decision as to whether to try again after a failed sway is a hard one and I know if we try again and it is another boy I will feel like I have fail my DH in not being able to give him a daughter. I think if we were guaranteed to get s girl third time around he would maybe contemplate it but knowing there is a high likelihood it could be another boy he doesn't want to try again mainly due to the financial cost, not enough space in our house and both of us getting older. One of the hardest decisions I have had to make, I love my two boys dearly but still feel like something is missing. Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. My hubby is definitely focused on the practical side of having 3 instead of 2 whereas I am much more emotional about it. Our DS doesn't even sleep through the night yet so DH would not even contemplate #3 yet but I know if we are ever going to try we only have a short window of time left due to our age.

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Age is such a frustrating factor. I found the article in the Atlantic that atomic posted very helpful but it's still suggest having your baby by 40 if you can and if this sway works out I will be 40. Having just experienced a miscarriage in November I'm worried that if I have another miscarriage I might age out of a second baby. Also with my first being about four and a half by the time the baby is born, I wonder about the age spread and how much energy I'll have to be a good enough mom.

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4boys I am sorry to hear if your miscarriage. Sending pink dust.

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Originally Posted by Debahlgrim

I convinced my hubby for baby #4 to try for a girl (we have a girl, boy, boy right now.) We were both super bummed to find out we are having another boy for #4 and although I’m so happy that I have my girl, I really wanted her to have a sister and now I’m fighting the thoughts that we should have just stopped with 3 kids. Like it would have been worth it if it was a girl but it’s a boy so it’s not. It’s been getting easier and I’m now excited to meet him in a few months. But it took me years to convince the hubby to agree to #4 and I didn’t realize how devastated we would be to find out it’s another boy. But I (think) I am excited about having 4 kids regardless of gender! And I know it will be worth it when I meet my precious baby boy. But it’s hard to let go of that girl dream. I just felt guilty for having a boy and felt so responsible. My husband really wanted to stop with 3 kids. Just wanted to tell my story with you. [emoji173]️


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Thank you for sharing Debahlgrim, I share your fears, we have 2 beautiful boys and my husband would like to be done and I'm scared if per my insistence we try for our girl and end up with another boy that I will feel really badly and guilty to boot.

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Originally Posted by 4boysandneedagirl

Hello!i have 4 boys, and my last son was a hard sway for a girl. I definitely have severe gender disappointment and depression. We started swaying 3 months ago, I got pregnant last month, and just had s miscarriage on the 6th...so a few days ago,. We are trying one last time for our DD and I hope and pray it works this time.
Pink dust my way! Any tips besides the known would be greatly appreciated [emoji173]️

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Hi 4Boys, I am so sorry for your loss, welcome to our little group, if nothing else we know we have support and understanding here [emoji173]

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So my sister is visiting today and I ate a lot.... way over the limits for the day I think and no exercise. And while I know it is fine to take a day off the diet here and there I also get nervous that this is how we got our boy on the last sway. My sister had her wedding then, and we had a vacation and lots of other foods.... How do you ladies stay motivated to eat well? Any tips appreciated!