Any July/August/Sept 2014 Swayers?

Hi ladies! This looks like a fun group and hope you don't mind me joining you this late in the game!

When are you planning on trying? Soonish? Loosely maybe May and on. We aren't really avoiding but my kids are crappy sleepers so we don't really "try" either. My cycles are still really funky so I'm not holding my breath on anything, I'm fairly certain I am not ovulating regularly. (Just had my first period a few weeks ago for the first time since November.)
Have you started to sway yet? Not really, I'm still working on getting the info on what I need to be doing actually.
Did you get a personalized plan or are you working on your own? I did order a personalized plan, but waiting to get it back.
Which gender are you hoping for? Girl (we have had a DD, who passed away after birth, then 2 boys, would really really LOVE another DD this time to hopefully keep.)
Any concerns you have currently? So many things! Nervous about gearing up for another high risk pregnancy with a 3 year old and 1.5 year old. Torn about maybe just trying high tech and skipping the natural route. Nervous about the diet and exercise and breaking all the rules (which I am still trying to figure out!) But I am optimistic that we did conceive a girl on our own without swaying intentionally so hopefully we can do it again.

Thanks for letting me join!

Hi and welcome! I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I hope that you have a great sway and end up with another daughter!

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The past couple of weeks have been really rough - "maybe we should just f*cking break up" kind of rough. It's been horrible, and now I'm back on Xanax. :mad:

We're in counseling. I hope that our counselor can help DH make a breakthrough. Right now he's just going, "Well, I just don't want more kids. Having kids was hypothetical when I said yes to having three since I'd never been around kids. I didn't know what it would be like." I told him that would be like me saying that it was hypothetical when I said that I would be faithful to him forever, since I'd never been married before, and now that I feel like it's hard I'm just going to be polyamorous, so deal with it. I think it is so utterly without honor for him to feel like he can pull this garbage.

I have a PP from atomic, and amazing support from her ... but it is SO hard to start doing the things that I need to when I'm not even sure if DH is going to stop being such a complete ass. So, I'm concentrating on the fact that my sway is largely exercise and diet based, so at least I'll be a slamming hottie in my bathing suit this summer while I look for new men at the beach if my husband decides that he would rather be divorced than have another child together, which is actually what he has said sometimes. DYAHHH.

I don't even know what more to write. I am so freaked out that this isn't going to happen, I am so dreamy about getting to see two lines on a pregnancy test, and my best freaking friend just told me that she is pregnant with number SEVEN. Three girls, three boys. I am thrilled for her. I am also so freaking tired of her calling to let me know she's pregnant. UGH.

Off for some yoga and deep breathing and finding hope wherever I can ... I mean, we weren't going to start TTC until August, so that's still lots of time for his mind to change, right? Especially with counseling?

2blue1pink, so much love at the loss of your daughter. I'm also planning on a high risk pregnancy - severe pre-eclampsia with DS1, so I'm forever labeled as high risk - so I hope we can support each other through it. Even if I'm not pregnant when you are, I'm more than happy to listen. It can be so hard to hear people going through the difficulties of pregnancy when you'd love to be going through them yourself. :heart:

How is everything going with everyone? I'm still talking supps and waiting for my personalised plan to come through. I'm slowly loosing weight because I am on the chubby side and I am hoping this won't affect my sway.

Kelissi- Wow that is rough what you are dealing with!! I think it can be really hard when two people feel so sure of their positions and love each other but aren't on the same page. Just remember that even though it doesn't feel that way right now, things will change. You won't be in this stressful position forever and somehow you two will come to some sort of agreement. It is so hard when you are still in that limbo position though. Big Hugs!

Zebaniee- Good for you on slowly losing weight! I don't think it can affect your sway in a negative way, from what I understand just losing is the important part.

I'm pretty determined to not start the diet or exercise until 6 weeks before TTC. Atomic recently wrote that it isn't necessary to start 3 months ahead and especially as I am already on the skinny side and tend to lose weight quickly if I am disciplined with diet and exercise I just don't think it is necessary and would probably be counter-productive. However it still isn't clear when we will start TTC and I am just pumped to start :D I think July would be best but DH and I have to sit down and have a real talk about it soon. He recently mentioned that he wished we could just get a 3 year old from the get go, and he just doesn't want to go through the first two years again but I am pretty hopeful that we will be able to find some practical solutions to make the first years less stressful for him and help him agree to setting a date. Here's hoping!

I'm horrible about keeping up with threads, so my apologies if I ever don't answer a question directed at me ! I think someone had asked about my username a few pages back, and yes, I'm from TX :)

welcome 2blue1pink and I'm so sorry for your loss

Kelissi - hugs! It's so great you're in therapy and I hope it's helpful for you and your DH. I completely agree with what you said about monogamy being like having a child. I think my DH has found one child MUCH harder than he expected (despite the fact that we have an easy baby) and honestly has said he just wanted an only child until very recently. I can relate to wanting more kids but having a husband who isn't as on board with it!

zebaniee - I'm jealous of the blue swayers. You can go on paleo diet and feel so great and lose weight, too. I'm having so much trouble losing weight on the pink diet (carbs are not my friend!), and I too have weight to lose

Junie - smart to stay away from the diet/exercise if you don't have weight to lose. I've seen many failed sways from those that started too early and lost all the weight and then had to gain weight back in the month they TTC in order to get pg. I have loads of weight to lose (BMI 23.6), so I started the diet 12 weeks out hoping I could get skinny before our attempt.

You ladies are so amazingly supportive - thank you! Sometimes I just start crying and feel utterly hopeless and scared, but I'm trying to get away from that and just do what I can with what I've got. Next appt with the counselor is on May 20, and we're doing two half-sessions of talking to her individually and then a full one together. For me, I'd like to make sure that we're talking about what it is that we can do, because I just don't think that a married person is allowed to say, "I know you want that and have always wanted it, but we're not doing it because I don't want to." If it's money, we'll save money. If it's something else that is changeable, we'll do it. I'm happy to work together to get our life to where he would be at least okay with having another child, but I'm not willing to just give it up because he "doesn't want it." Thank you so much for being a safe space to talk about this <3.

I'm also holding off on major diet, although I have started skipping breakfast (well, I say "started" - I don't think that I've eaten breakfast at the right time since becoming a mother!). I'm 5'6" and weigh around 127, so I'm looking at trying to be around 115 in August which will be my lowest adult weight. I've being doing C25K every other day and moderate yoga in the morning so that I'm building up endurance and don't get injured from jumping into daily 60 minute exercise, but I'm waiting to diet. From experience, I know that if I go to 1200 cal/day (factoring ones burned by exercise), I'll lose 2 lb a week easily. I know that I've read people saying that having your period go wonky is a good sign for TTC girl, but somehow that doesn't jive entirely with me. I'm awesome with working out and being healthy, but not enough that my body starts showing me that something's wrong, you know? I'm a big believer in a healthy cycle being one of our bodies' best ways of showing us that what we're doing is okay, and especially since I'm going into a pregnancy that will be regarded as high risk (although we can't guarantee that it actually will merit that designation), I want to make sure that I'm swaying but not so hard that my body is overly stressed.

Bluebonnet- I know Atomic has said starting at 12 weeks can be really beneficial if you think you have weight to lose, I also wish I could just do the boy diet though LOL

Kelissi- That all sounds really good. I hope your appts on the 20th go well!

Just found out a woman at my younger son's daycare is pregnant with her 3rd! She has two sons which are about the age of mine, and of course now I want to start tomorrow LOL. But I just wouldn't want a baby any earlier than April AND I still have to convince DH :D

Hi ladies. I hope you don't mind if I join in. I was originally in the Apr/May/June thread and I kinda disappeared for a while for hubby and I to discuss things and figure out what we wanted to do. We chatted and are on the same page for a July-August attempt. He is also on board for swaying lightly girl. We don't mind in our hearts what we get, our reasons are more practical in nature (room space, sibling gaps, clothing use).

Intro to us: I am A (I have a name, promise. Lol). D and I have been married for 5 years. We have two boys: L is 4.5 and K is 2.5 and one girl: J who just turned 1. We also have a crapload of dogs ;) J was a sway baby on here back in 2013 and we were blessed to have it work. I am a SAHM with the kids. I am high risk for pregnancies because of a blood clotting issue, but its easily managed.

Our current sway plan includes diet, supplements, and one attempt. I believe I will try to lose 10 pounds in 8 weeks before our sway attempt. We will be using OLE and licorice root for DH, aspirin and fiber for me, then one attempt in the fertile window. I feel comfortable that it will at least "even the field" for a girl. My ordinary life is pretty blue-friendly.

Looking forward to getting to know everyone :)

That sounds like a great sway hotdogz!

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And now, my loves, I am in - because DH has said yes. :heart:

Joy doesn't describe it. Shock does. Feeling like I am very cautiously dipping my toes into the water after not swimming for years.

We're still heading to counseling, but counseling is now focused on how to make our marriage work and have us both get what we want - me, to have at least three children, being a homeschooler and homemaker and choosing academics and art when they're older - and for DH, knowing that I'm not going to be falling into extreme depressions that border on my being catatonic, that this is going to be held together and good, and that he's going to be able to have the time alone he needs as an introvert.

I don't know what to say, really. I don't have butterflies in my stomach, but I am feeling relief washing over me in a way that hasn't happened for a long, long time. Went for a walk today with my kids and was overwhelmed by the beauty of it.

So, hi, TTC August/September 2014 - I'm officially here to stay. :celebrate:

Yay Kelissi! That's excellent news, so happy for you that DH had come around and realised how important this is to you. 💜

Yay Kelissi!!

I'm so so excited for you!!!!! Still have to have the "big" talk with DH but I'm hoping for the same outcome.

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Yay Kelissi!

Do any of you have 2 under 2? My first two are 3.5 years apart. God willing, my next will be under two years apart from my DD. How crazy is it? If I were younger, and didn't have fertility issues I would wait for a larger age difference, but it just isn't an option. Am I in for it? :nails:

Kaseybaby - my first were 26 months apart (if you adjust for my older's prematurity, which we still did at that point), so not quite 2-under-2, but pretty close. I know lots of Mommas whose babes are that close in my work as a LLL Leader, and have taught many how to wear one baby on their front and one on their back - so, no, you're not in for it! Can it be tough? Sure. Show me any mom, regardless of the age gap between her kids, who says that it isn't tough from time to time, and I'll show you someone who isn't being honest with you or herself :wink:. Lots of babywearing helps - I can't wait to get out my wraps and slings again! - and breastfeeding, if that's your plan, can actually help a ton as you can set up a little nursing station with special books and one-handed toys that you play with the older little one with while you feed the baby. The lovin' and snuggles that a baby and an under 2 year old need are so similar that your brain can gear into them really well and meet needs, and, honestly, it was way easier when they were both really little than now at 5 and 3, when they're both fairly little. Don't worry, Momma. You got this :happy:.

Right now I'm actually concerned with age gaps too, since I'll be being in "baby mode" simultaneously with "big kid" mode, as DS1 will be 6 - soon to be 7 - and DS2 will be 4 when (hopefully) we have a baby. So long to long snuggly naps with the baby, I'm assuming! I'm really, really, REALLY hoping to have a vaginal birth rather than cesarean this time, just so that I don't have to be recovering from surgery again while facing all of this (although we all know that vaginal birth needs some serious recovery time, too!). I also need to get my act together as a parent - DS1 is just so freaking difficult sometimes, and so rather than thinking, "Great, I'll have a helper!" I wind up thinking, "Great, he's going to be stealing things from his younger brother and whining and starting fights while I'm shrieking, 'I'M TRYING TO HAVE A PEACEFUL BABYMOON IN HERE! STOP FIGHTING!'"

I actually do wear my babies, but never both at once, I guess I should get used to that :) Have you had 2 c-sections or 1? I have had two. I went for natural birth with DS, ended up almost dying from infection, went for a vbac, and failed, wound up with c-section number 2. I would like to try for VBAC2C but everyone is against it. EVERYONE. I just so badly would like a vaginal birth

My first 2 are 2 years 5 months apart and I really enjoy that spacing. I won't lie, I do think having 2 under 2 can be more intense for the first few months just because both children still really need your help often but lots and lots of women consider it their ideal spacing and all spacing has pluses and minuses anyway :)

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DH and I talked about baby 3 last night. For him it comes down to the issue of him not loving kids/parenting all the time. I mean obviously he loves our kids and he is a great dad but he would have no issue if he only had to parent every 2nd day especially until they hit about 3.5. I know what he means but I think adding a third won't increase the amount of time he spends with the kids. The third will just be added to the mix. We both find parenting 2 easier then parenting one so that is in my favor. We didn't come to any real agreement but he also seemed open to thinking about it. I know he won't ever be the type of person who dreams about having more kids but he is a really good dad and I genuinely believe a third would be a good addition for our family. So far before we decided to TTC each child our conversations started like this so I feel like I am in a good place. We'll see how things progress. Sorry for the novel, I can't talk about this with anyone here. :)

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Congrats on your plan to conceive Kelissi. I don't know the backstory...but I assume its a big step and I can sense you are very excited!

Hopefully you can work it out with DH Junie. I do think that men have a harder time picturing what it will be like each time and when you add a measure of being overwhelmed, it can be hard for them to imagine adding another into the mix. DH and I have discussed five. More like a "if I want five, will you fight me on it." We have not done it seriously, but I kinda wanted to know if I need to prep for this as my last pregnancy. And he went from NO WAY to now "leaning to four, but we will discuss later if you don't feel done." Sometimes men might just need time and space to adjust. So hopefully it works out for you :)

As for having kids close in age, all of our gaps are or are planned to be less than 2 years. My 1st and 2nd are 22 months apart. My 2nd and 3rd are 19 months apart. And we plan for our 3rd and 4th to be 21-22 months apart again. I enjoy the smaller gaps. I don't really find it to be that hard. It doesn't allow for a lot of downtime physically, since everyone is so dependent. But the play structure works well (we are still on the preschool playgrounds and haven't hit sports age with anyone yet) and they seem to enjoy each others company. It requires patience, of course. But I think that is true of any age gap. It is a very condensed version of parenting! Lol. I, personally, think the bigger gaps would be harder for me, since I can concentrate on one set of skills (mostly just play and early learning), versus having to split time for school events and parties and activities for older kids while carting around younger kids as well. But I do think I always knew that about myself. I was meant to have close in age kids! You will be fine. We babywear and our gear all gets good use! Lol. We have had only one infant seat. One high chair, one swing, etc. They just never get taken down :) You'll do fine!

Buying food for the diet tomorrow! It seems like I will be eating a lot of stir fry and potatoes.... Also thinking of starting exercise this week.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kaseybaby

I actually do wear my babies, but never both at once, I guess I should get used to that :) Have you had 2 c-sections or 1? I have had two. I went for natural birth with DS, ended up almost dying from infection, went for a vbac, and failed, wound up with c-section number 2. I would like to try for VBAC2C but everyone is against it. EVERYONE. I just so badly would like a vaginal birth

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Please don't look at your body as having failed; your body worked and grew a healthy baby and healed from major surgery. You are amazing.

I'll be planning a VBA2C in a hospital with a very supportive care provider. I'm happy to send resources your way on the safety and benefits of VBAC (in most cases, it's way safer for Momma, for one thing!) - and, actually, the difference in risk between VBAC and VBA2C is pretty minimal. If I do end up needing another cesarean, I hope it will be like DS2's birth - immediate skin-to-skin, delayed cord clamping, breastfeeding in the OR and never any separation between us.

Sounds positive and awesome, Junie! I'm buying diet food next week too - eek. How did we get so close? Today I've eaten three cupcakes, just because I know that dieting's coming up - which probably isn't the healthiest attitude, but there you go.

And, please, you're calling that a novel? Girl, have you seen my posts? :giggle:

I sort of start next week. I am don't know if I am going to lose the weight I need to. It is stuck to me like glue while nursing. It is driving me batty.

Kelissi, I will take the info. I really don't think I am capable of having a vaginal birth. Neither of my babies defended. My midwife doesn't think I am physically able to have a vaginal birth, and she said she NEVER tells women that. Even though I sort of know it isn't a possibility I can't give up the dream. I actually enjoy the labor part to some degree. I mean don't get me wrong, it hurts, but I love the excitement of labor.

So I am vaguely starting today. Even though I NEVER eat breakfast of course I felt like eating breakfast today LOL I am so bad at diets. But the nice thing about starting now is hopefully I can figure out what works, stress about it now, and be nice and relaxed about it in a few weeks.

Our younger son who was a bit tough the last few months has made the switch over to being super adorable and only a little bit frustrating instead of the other way around. Words are slowly starting to come and DH is definitely enjoying his time with him and all the kisses and "Papas!!", but of course now older son is testing limits again.... but we're in a good place and I am really hoping my mom's visit next month will help tip the scale in terms of DH finally be willing to go for it. It does feel a bit strange to start doing diet,etc without being 100% sure of DH's timing with coming on board but if I am honest with myself in my heart I do absolutely believe DH will be on board soon and it is just a matter of when exactly.

First day on the diet was pretty much a success. I almost went over on protein, and I did have a granola bar as a snack in the evening instead of something like white toast with honey, but for a first day I am happy. I stayed low in calories and in fat and tomorrow I will start adding exercise to the mix.

We start in 9 weeks!


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Day 2 and I am a bit miserable. I hate not snacking, I miss high protein foods, I miss fatty foods, I miss everything! LOL I also feel hungry so often, I hope it gets better. I try to keep reminding myself that it isn't forever :) but I could really go for a deluxe burger right now!

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Day 3 is going better. I realized part of the problem was being too low on overall calories (around 1200) and obviously especially since I barely have any weight to lose that isn't necessary. I'm going to buy some more fat free treats like marshmallows to nibble on after dinner as I always feel a craving then. The exercise is going fine but I do feel it takes a good chunk of my day. I arrive at the gym around 9:15 and don't end up home till close to 11:30 with showering and all the rest. I might start trying to do it at night some days.

How are you all doing?


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I'm struggling because my son brought a pretty bad virus home so both of us feel terrible this week. I'm so frustrated because I just don't have the energy to run an hour this morning (or even get out at all) and I've been eating a bit more nutrients, fat, and protein to help myself heal. I know being sick is "good" for swaying, but not when your sway isn't until July! I feel like I'm being derailed. Hope I feel up to my exercise tomorrow morning. I tried going yesterday while sick and just hacked up and coughed the entire time, it was rough. UGH. Sorry, pity party over.

Junie - I usually do my workout from 5:30 AM - 6:30 AM, otherwise I never can find the time in the day to do it.

5:30?? Oh my gosh I think I would die LOL :D :D
Don't beat yourself up about not being able to stick perfectly to the diet. I really believe that the stress we put into beating ourselves up first of all sways blue, and second of all just doesn't help us. A few days of being sick and not being able to go 100% isn't going to ruin your sway!! I hope you feel better soon!!

The diet scares the poop out of me!!! Makes me super anxious.
Exercise so far for me is going ok! Either 60 minutes on the cross trainer or 60 minutes out in nature for a walk. But it's winter here and I can see there will be a few days where I won't want to do this lol eeek


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I see a lot of people are starting the diet already (and some are TTC before I am too). I plan to start it in July- about 6 weeks before TTC. We are swaying blue.

How crazy are you going with the diet? Like are you tracking every single little thing and counting grams of protein, carbs, etc.? I was gonna follow the guidelines but not make myself insane about it and take some supplements. Do you think you can have a successful sway if you are basically following the diet (but not hyper focused on it), taking the supplements, and doing what you're supposed to (ie- gaining a few pounds, lifting the weights, BDing every other day, etc.)? I'm just scared and thinking maybe I should go a little crazier with the diet than I'd planned.

This is #1 so if the sway is unsuccessful, we'll try again... but I really want a boy first.

Sorry if this is rambly. I got a "90 days till TTC" alert on my phone the other day and now I'm way more excited and trying to get things together.

Well I'm tracking everything on my fitness pal (which is easy and free), and trying to really stick below certain levels for fat and protein but today was DH's birthday and at dinner I didn't think about the diet at all and just had a burger LOL.

However obsessing and tracking everything does sway blue so I will try and relax a bit once I have a handle on how much I can eat while still staying LE. As a boy mom obviously the boy diet -lots of meat, whole foods, eating often, working out with weights,etc is my normal life so it wouldn't be hard for me to follow that :D

Your plan sounds really good to me, I mean if you are doing everything you need to do then no reason to obsess about it.

Oh gosh jsophia I need tips on how not to be hyper focused on it. I'm trying not to be. But it's always in my mind every single thing I do I think back to swaying.


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hi ladies! i think i'm on a similar timeline to some of you. we're swaying pink and TTC july/august. i was on the diet and exercising for 4 weeks but realized that i was definitely NOT ready to conceive just quite yet. i have a 9 month old and would like to wait until at least the year mark.

we celebrated an anniversary, i cheated and had about 5 days not dieting or exercising. it was pretty awesome, but am refocused and just got back on yesterday. i had great momentum and am just trying to get back there again. using rice krispie treats and twizzlers to ease me back in :)

happy to have this forum as support and encouragement!

Welcome isemasmom! Hope you get your DG!

jsophia - I do NOT think you need to go psycho with the diet, especially to sway blue. Just eat healthy, do things to increase fertility and BD in the recommended pattern and you'll be fine. We swayed blue for our first (really wanted a boy first!) and while we didn't follow any special diet (just ate very healthily - lots of fruits, veggies, nuts and meats with very little processed carbs), we did do SMEP and I feel like that is what got me my boy. I wasn't working out at all (maybe 30 minute light jogs 3x a week at most with my dog).

Thanks ladies!

I am an athlete and eat very clean, but I was worried that since it was my normal diet I wasn't doing enough. I definitely don't count calories or any other nutrients, so I was worried that not obsessing over those might harm my chances (like if I didn't get enough protein one day I'd be ruined). I'm reading that one or two days won't mess anything up- it's the grand picture. So a couple days off course ain't gonna hurt :)

Thanks for helping to ease my mind!!

Welcome to the thread, isemasmom! And happy anniversary :) GL getting your DD!

Is anyone else as excited as I am to see if we all end up with our DG's?

Dropping in from the April swayers, I succeeded, then miscarried last week :( I wanted a summer baby, so I've chosen to wait until July/Aug to try again rather than catching that first egg after my loss.

When are you planning on trying? If my projected cycles stay consistent, End of Aug., my brother died in Jan. and that cycle would put my due date on his birthday. If my cycles vary greatly, which they may being I find it unlikely I'll ovulate on time after a MC, I may amend that to July. "Summer" here starts in May so anything from late July on would work.

Have you started to sway yet? Yes, I started swaying in Jan for my April sway, but naturally I dropped everything at my BFP so now I've been off-swaying for about a month.

Which gender are you hoping for? Pink :) I have three DS already.

Any concerns you have currently? I am, of course, concerned about another loss. This makes two in a row. I've decided to back off a tsk on swaying, mainly on the diet. I worry it may have affected egg quality. I'm just going to reduce portions and drink more water, keep up the exercise, skipping breakfast, fiber, baby aspirin and do vitex+SP up until attempt cycle, then switch to clomid. I think it'll still be a solid sway, and the month or so should give my lining time to get nice and thick.