Due in Mar/April/May 2015

Honestly, you've done everything right crazycat. You respect her wishes, are sensitive to her feelings and potential reactions, and are wishing the best for her. It's all you can do. It sounds like she is really struggling and might need that time/recovery period before thinking of babies again. It sounds like you have a good relationship and I et she does not harbor ill-will toward you for any of it (the pregnancy, it being a boy). She just is feeling sensitive and I hope it passes for her soon.

We had out NT scan today!! All looks well and baby is active :) measurements were good. Anterior placenta confirmed. Boo :( But everything is going smoothly (minus puking in their sink in the sono room!). Baby was stubborn. Gave one good NT shot with sighting of the nasal bone, then turned away and danced around in there the rest of the time. I didn't really catch sight of any nub that I could be sure was a nub. Once when baby was upside down I thought I saw a stacked boy nub. But it was so quick and baby was moving so much, it was hard to tell. Ill prolly upload the video later to see if anyone sees anything. But I am in love already :) here is a pic:
Attachment 20761

Thanks hotdogz. It's good to at least have a little reassurance with the whole situation.

Your baby is a cutie!! Isn't it crazy to see how active they are in there? I feel like at night I can sometimes feel little bits, but when looking on the screen and seeing all that movement, it's strange when you can't feel it too, lol. How awesome that everything looks good and healthy too! Congrats!!

crazycat
I know how your SIL feels because I have been in her shoes once.
At that time I was so sad about my miscarriage that, besides wanting the best for my SIL and my future nephew, it was very hurtfull to be around her.
For us it was even more difficult cause we all live in the same city, only minutes away from each other's house and every couple of days have family meals and hangouts.
I always blamed myself for feeling this way and had a lot of guilts that I thought of myself instead of being 100% positive and happy for her.
But at that time I had a lot of support from my husband, who was always positive and tried his best to lift my spirit up and finally succeeded :hug2:.
(I love my nephew so much that I ended up to be his godmother and if I don't have a son of my own, I love him as much-I think being his godmother has helped me a lot to overcome any bad feelings).
I think that you must speak with your brother because, from my experience and especially since her dad is dead, he will play a very importand role in mending her heart.
And of course take all the joy you can in the fact that your dream came true and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, which for me is the happiest period of my life.
You really have done everything right, and the problem your SIL is facing is not that you had your dream come true, it's just that hers hasn't yet.

Mamato, I think you have a great point about talking with my brother. I know he is very supportive and is her rock, but it's probably not a bad idea to remind him :-) Also, I love the idea of asking them to be the godparents! I think I'll likely wait until closer to baby's birth to ask, but that sounds like such a nice idea. My other brother and sister-in-law are my daughter's godparents, simply because at the time of having her, they were the only couple very settled and already with a child. This brother and sister-in-law were still just newlyweds and travelling the world. Now they have bought a home and are trying to start their own family. Of course, godparents to us means who would be responsible for the child if something were ever to happen to both my husband and I - we even write it in our will.

This is a questions more for everyone, especially those with multiple children, have you asked the same people to be godparents (for legal reasons like I stated above) for all of your children or have you split that honor up? I feel like if anything ever did happen to me and DH, I'd want my kids to stay together, but at the same time, depending on how many kids you have, that could be a lot of responsibility and financial burden, possibly too, to ask one couple. I remember my mom used to tell us that I would go with my aunt who I was closest to (like a second mother really) and my little brother would go to another aunt who had a son near his age, but at that time in our lives, we were older. My older brothers would be on their own already and the two aunts that would have me and my little brother are very close and live in the same city, so it's not like we would really be that separated. Obviously and thankfully the need never arose, but it's something we need to think about now that we have our own families. And then there's the fact that godparents are more than JUST who would have responsibility in that situation, and for that reason, I'd love to be able to give that honor to a different brother/wife combo, as Mamato suggested above, which I think would be really nice. What are your thoughts on god-parenting?? We are not super religious, but still quite spiritual. Does what we put in our will have to match who we ask to be godparents or can that be two separate things? Sorry for getting so deep, but I'd love to hear how others handle this situation to get some ideas and perspective! Thanks ladies!!

PS - Momato, I am sorry you had to go through that, but am glad you had such a supportive hubby to lift you up! I hope your dream comes true, just as I hope my sister-in-law's does too!!

I totally understand what you are asking crazycat. And we treat godparents differently than guardians. The law in the USA also does. God parents are not recognized as guardians unless you specify it in your will (and you did, so you are good!)

What we do: God parents are not our guardians. God parents are more like a confidant and adviser to our child and someone with whom they can have a special relationship. Some of the ones we chose were family friends, some are actually family. Their role is to be there emotionally and spiritually for the child. We selected different god parents for each child. (Hubby's brother, my best friend for #1, my brother, my closest aunt for #2, my other brother, a family friend for #3, and we have selected a married couple whom we are very close to to be the god parents for #4). Guardians are who we specified in our will who will have custody of our children when if we pass. We are lucky because my parents are very young and in great health and wouldn't hear of someone else having custody if something happened to us. For now, I am comfortable with that. My mom and dad can totally handle it. As our children age and my brothers begin families of their own, we might consider them for guardianship. I am not sure if we would have one of them take all four or if we would do something different. But, for now, things are figured out and we will re-address in 5 or so years as my parents desires might change and our family might change. But if I "only" had two kids, I would absolutely keep them together. I wouldn't consider splitting them up at all. And probably would even keep the 4-5 we are planning together. I can't imagine breaking sibling bonds like that. I feel my kids would need each other if something happened to us and I wouldn't want to separate them. But, obviously, it is a consideration whether someone could handle all of them! Lol.

And to answer your direct question, if you treat godparents the same as guardians, I'd appoint the same ones. But by law, the only ones who "matter" are the guardians in your will. And many folks have a separation between god parents and guardians.

Yes hotdogz, that is perfect! I never really thought of them as separate things, but it definitely makes sense now that we have more than one kiddo, lol. Guardians verse godparents - perfect!

Cute baby hotdogz maybe a good thing he /she was so active if you want to go team green for this bubba as I know you are a nub expert!!
Crazycat I would personally just give her some space but let her know you are there to chat if she needs you!
Best of luck with a tricky situation x
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hotdogz- what a cute baby, congrats :)

Just very quickly on the godparent/guardian topic as Im about to start work - we only have one DS at the moment and his godparents are my best friend, her ex-partner (they were together for over 8 years and shockingly split up recently) and my brother in law. Our church stipulates that there must be 2 godparents of the same sex and one of the opposit sex. In our will, we specified my best friend and her ex-partner as guardians. Once this baby is born we will have to change our will anyway to include him/her and between now and then we have to consider who the guardian/s will be in our will. I dont want my best friends ex-partner to be in there because then things could get complicated, not that I think he will do anything but its best to be clear. I would prefer my mum to be guardian but she will be 60 next year and the lawyers here say that you shouldnt choose someone who will be elderly before the child turns 18. So its a hard choice but we have a little time to think about it.

crazy - sorry about the situation you are facing. I think give her time and talk to your brother if you think he will handle it in the best way. I totally understand where she is coming from (and where you are coming from too), I think she just needs time to heal. Once she is PG I am sure things will go back to normal.

Hi everyone.joining you lot.due may 13th! I'm only 5 weeks this coming wed.its going sooo slow.lol

Welcome eleena!

Hi eleena wondering when you were going to pop in! Welcome xx
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Hi all! OMG MumofSix it's LOVELY to see you here & WOW - TWINS!!!!!! 😱😱😱 I hope I'm not jinxing myself by posting here so early, I got a very light "could barely see it" positive on Friday. Then started spotting & thought it was all over as I didn't spot with either of my 2 boys. Went to the doctor who did another pregnancy test which was negative & he basically said either I was imagining the line or it was a weak chemical positive & to pretty much go away (arsehole). Anyway, the bleeding stopped by morning on Saturday & had turned to very light brown discharge (sorry for TMI) & I got another slightly stronger positive. By afternoon the spotting had stopped completely & this morning (Father's Day here in Australia) I got a very clear BFP!!! Hoping this one is sticky as I didn't have spotting for my boys so FX it's a "sign" for pink. Also, we timed out attempt bang on +OPK so I'm hopeful. By dates I am due 13th May but as I have a longer cycle I would say a scan will show more like 17th. http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/09/07/uvy5a3a7.jpg

Welcome elena and primal! Congratulations! X

Primalmamma hi,I'm due may 13th too!! X

Hi eleena! Yay what fun :) Congratulations! And thank you LaVieEnRose for your well wishes x

Welcome ladies!! I hope you both get your desired gender :)

Welcome primal mama and big congrats!! XX
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Just returned from my doctor who is lovely & was a breath of fresh air after the arsehole doctor I saw on Friday who said I wasn't pregnant & to go away. She rang for the pathology results which the other jerk doctor had laughingly sent me for. They did indeed confirm I am pregnant. She was furious with the other doctor as he hadn't even called me to say I am pregnant & I am rhesus negative & the reason I went to the doctor was because I had spotting on Friday so I should have had anti D. She got me an anti D shot straight away & sent me for complete blood work as the other doctor only got a pregnancy test done nothing else.

Thank goodness you saw a decent doctor the second time!! And you have to pay for doctors visits don't you, it's not like you are there trying to waste anyone's time. Anyway fab news it seems to be progressing - yay x

Great news primal! It is shocking how you were treated by first doc! Glad you are in better care X
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We have public health care here in Australia so some places are free & some aren't. My regular doctor was booked out on Friday so I went to a free one. They're normally fine if you have a basic issue with a basic answer (eg ear infection requiring antibiotics) but beyond that they can be a bit hit-and-miss. I paid for my doctors visit today & that was worth every cent!!

Primal - Congrats on your BFP! In the future, Rhogam shots aren't necessary until Week 8 of pregnancy (when the fetus begins producing Rh factor) so unless you like getting painful shots you might avoid them next time. My doctor tried to have me get one for my m/c (at 6 weeks) and when I pushed her about the fetus not even producing Rh factor until 8 weeks she admitted it was completely unnecessary to get them early in pregnancy they just have everyone get them in case someone miscalculated their dates or something. I freaking hate rhogam shots so I do everything to avoid them unless medically necessary!

Good to know bluebonnet, thank you!

Please, everyone who has had a WRONG result from the Chinese gender predictor tell me your stories! I just did it & I got boy. The worst part is, four or five months on BOTH side were pink, it was this offensive blue dot in the middle of a sea of pink. Someone tell me it's a load of all wives takes please!

if the Chinese were privy to any ancient wisdom that could predict gender there would not be orphanages full of unwanted baby girls. :)

Definitely fake primal, my DS was supposed to be a girl!

Primal there are even different versions so sometimes my son is a girl and sometimes it's a boy. It's such a load of crap and as atomic says, if real there would be no need for those orphanages in china. Chinese calendar is there for a bit of fun, not for serious prediction. Please do not let this spoil your BFP happiness x

Thanks girls. I don't even care that much if I have a boy - I am expecting it in fact - but the months of pink before & after my blue dot really bugged me!!

Don't even look primal!! Xxx
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I know they aren't accurate, but this one is actually correct for all my kids:

Chinese Gender Predictor | BabyCenter

It's correct for both mine too Tiggerian. 😳

It seem to be correct for my three boys! Plz let it be correct now too.
It says girl this time.

Callum's was right, I'm predicted a girl this time. We will see.


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ALL of the Chinese Gender Charts (every last one Google provides that I don't need to join some random site to try) have gotten at least one of my three children wrong. Usually my oldest, occasionally my third, rarely my second. But not a single one was right for all three. Most say girl this time. But nub looks boyish. The charts are or fun, not to actually feel upset about. Don't put your eggs in one basket!

It says boy for me.... 😢
It's right for DS6 but please be wrong this time!!!! 🙏

It says girl for me....probably right!

Mine was wrong on this 2 for 2:)

I'm over the gender charts! Whatever will be will be, can't do anything about it now. Anyway, this 3rd baby business leaves little to the imagination. I've always shown very early (I was in maternity pants at 7 weeks with my first & 6 weeks with my second) & this time is no different, I had to go shopping at less than 5 weeks as my pants wouldn't do up. It's the lack of privacy that annoys me, at 4 weeks 5 days I was congratulated by 2 mothers at school pick up and the Lollipop lady! It's just irritating that the risk of miscarriage is still quite high but I can't really hide it. Not to mention the silly comments "Ooh it's gonna be a big baby!" No, the baby is the size of a grain of rice, I have a big uterus you idiot!! 😡 I haven't made it common knowledge at work but I've seen a few glances & I've had a couple of people ask if I've got "something to tell them".... I told my Team Leader in private as her newborn granddaughter passed away earlier this year & I wasn't sure how she would react but she was thrilled for me.

I would be so pissed if mummies said that to me none of their business!! But lovely your boss reacted soo well. I have big babies and im little so yes my bumps have been massive !!! Im feeling so sick at work kind of wished I had told my boss earlier X
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This photo was taken at 4 weeks 5 days. I'm only fairly small (I weigh 60kg & wear an Australian size 8-10) so I've just gone "whomp!" http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/09/16/raru9yqe.jpg