This is great!! Woo hoo..I now have a plan for BD!!
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This is great!! Woo hoo..I now have a plan for BD!!
My O pattern is typically cd15 but not to be relied on it has changed a day either way in past cycles.
So with that in mind and trying to plan the best blue sway I can with the best chances of conception (hard work :D ) would you recommend
4 day abstain with one shot BD on cd14 with O expected cd 15
Or
BD cd 11, 13, 15 to cover all fertile days? With a 4 day abstain before first BD on cd11?
Help!
I'd BD CD 11, 13, 15. Totally. I don't think you need to do a 4 day abstain beforehand, just DON'T do a long abstain at any point before that - DTD or have DH release, every 2-4 days.Quote:
Originally Posted by True Blue
O'ing on CD 13 this month it seems :worry: regular cylcles appear to be a thing of the past.
I wonder now if I were to BD every two days from day 6 through to 16 so 5 times in 10 days would it be to frequent. I fear if I try to plan to BD close to O I may miss it with it being unreliable.
Just as I thought I had it all worked out :worry:
Atomic thank you for replying :kissy:
Edited to ask what may be a totally whacky question but heregoes - if we were to BD, with protection, every two days during the 3 cycles while waiting for the TTC month would this encourage good spermies numbers or deplete numbers over such a period of time?
Nope, BD every 2 days is perfect for blue. You could BD every two days from now till the cows come home and still be swaying blue! It's ideal for sperm health so doing it for 3 cycles is a great idea.
Thank You Atomic :awe: I think I could just love you :highfive:
Thank you so much for posting this! I was curious as to frequency when we start ttc in July! We would like to just BD every other day during the month for our blue sway to keep it as stress free for DH, as he wants to be surprised and never know my fertile time. However, if we are BD every other day, does DH need to abstain from releasing on that in-between day?
Thanks, and sorry if this has already been answered!
No not at all, I'm happy to help.
Yes, he can't release on the inbetween days because releasing every day depletes sperm count and if he releases 7 days in a row, is actually a pink sway tactic!!
Oh man! Maybe I should change up our frequency in the new year in the months leading up to ttc! We only have sex 1-2x a month, so maybe we should start trying every other day, with him practicing not releasing on the day in between so he can get used to it. I've been struggling with low libido for about a year now!
Yes, that's going to sway pink for you. you may not be able to up it to that level (like going from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds haha) but even if you could increase to once every 4 days and then have him release once in between, that would be great.
Hmm looks like DH and I were swaying blue? unintentionally when we conceived DS in June 2011.
We were trying to time O (I didn't know at the time you had to check OPk more then once a day, heck I think when I thought I was father out closer to AF Id check every other day duh! Dumb idea to try and save on the expensive OPKs that were making me frown cause i wasn't getting smilies. Apparently, I was missing them.
Anyway at first we'd try and bd one or twice a month guessing when O was (never seem to got positive OPk and think I was basing only on period and CM which tends to confuse me.
Then in June we bd like every two days and maybe every other day? I'm Trying to remember. Mostly In the day I believe it was.
Sounds like we were going blue?
Yep, sounds like it to me!
now you can see how handy the IC's can be (Internet Cheapie OPK) because you can test 2-3 times a day and not even worry about the expense because you can get like 100 of them for the cost of 1 of the Clearblues.
BTW a lot of people ahve the misconception that you have to BD spot on O to get pg, but you really don't. Sperm can live inside you for days and days prior to ovulation and go onto fertilize the egg. So please don't feel like you HAVE to time sex to be right on O day in order to get pg, you can get pg even up to a week before (it's not that likely, but it is believed possible).
So timing doesn't effect sway but its the frequency his sperm are released at. Correct? And my diet?
Dh- usually skips breakfast and he's lost like 50-60lbs since 2011 (I was preg with DS and he gained with more when I was preg he was 5' 7" 255-260 and now is more like 205lbs recently due to getting laid off last September and his eating habits changed (before it was ALOT more Soda and RICH foods and McDonalds) then icky Cdiff he caught (people who've been taking loads of antibiotics get it but Dh wasn't and got Super sick (he was in bathroom like constantly gross!
Maybe tmi ) anyway he caught it from probably someone not washing hands.
He took like 10 days of pills. And now Feels a lot better.
Dh doesn't drink caffeine except like soda. ( Im the coffee drinker at usally 2 cups day with a spleda. Then 2 more on like a Friday Night. He usually has subway (chicken,meatball or ham) or lunch meat sandwich (ham) actually we both usually do. Sometimes he also has sub dinner or soup (his eating habits are due to where he works.
We should change this right? Dh days he's willing to if it means a better chance at getting a daughter. DH is totally on board. He's even willing to switch too tighty whities from his loose boxers lol
Oh, and we haven't been DTD cause dr told us that I needed to wait to do anything cause I wasn't having my period (i just kind of got it back) and if we didn't want conceive ASAP that we should wait. Sounds like poppycock to me though but I'm no expert. Anyway so he Takes care of himself like 2 times a week. And kind of good to cause since he caught the CDiff we didn't want me to catch that too.
Also, how often should DH. *ahem take care of himself?
How will any of this effect our pink sway?
Wow! That is such a better price. I'm gonna plan on ordering by this weekend ( I think someone said wondofos?) and try n learn the lines. I keep screwing up temping cause the weather is making me either chilly or stuffy that leaves me with horrible drainage. That and if DS gets up. I like go to bed late (to see DH when he comes home (like 12:00am-2 most nights).
I got the clear blues after AF left this month cause I'm soo darn antsy to find out when and if I'm O'ing. Testing like around 2:20 in afternoon. So far nothing but AF just ended like last Wednesday. Making it about 8 days long. So weird cause before DS I had like really short 4-6 day periods and 32 day cycle.
Sorry to bombard you with all this info. I just trying to give you a clear view.
Thanks Again!!
I don't have time to answer in depth but OMword do not waste Clearblues if you have only just gotten off AF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are not going to ovulate until CD (cycle day) 10-14 at the earliest, so please don't waste your money testing if you only just got off AF (depending on when you get AF, that is.)
I should clarify I didn't use the OPk until I was sure AF left no spotting that was like I started OPk Thursday, I'm on CD 13 now.
Hi I am ttc a girl in september. I'm 29. DH is 41. I'm confused about timing and frequency of BD.
Should we do the 7-10 day abstinence and one time attempt at O-1
or
Frequent release or frequent BD?
I just want to increase my chances of conceiving and I would love to have a DD!
Please do not do abstain if your husband is over 35.
Wanting to increase your chances of conceiving and also doing frequency sometimes don't work out too well together BUT I would have you try FR with one attempt at pos OPK.
Just wondering about not abstaining when over 35 - what if both DH and I are 35? I will turn 35 in September and DH on 30 November. If we TTC when he is up to 6 months from his 35 birthday would that be OK or pushing it too much? There is no way either of us would have the energy for FR for 7-10 days and there is no way I could get him to FR by himself even once. The only thing I would be able to do is get him to BD once a week. When we conceived DS we BD every 1.5 days in the fertile window (so thursday night, saturday morning, sunday afternoon and monday evening).
So my question is, when we are saying not to abstain over 35, do we mean 35 and over strictly, or do we mean 36 and over? Sorry if that sounds weird or stupid.
At this moment in time, I am thinking we may start TTC in Jan/Feb 2014 but it could be earlier depending on what role I go back to in September at work.
Thank you!
I can't say what is ok and what isn't. That's your call to make.
There is no magic switch that gets flipped when your husband has his 35th birthday, you understand - the odds of male factor birth defects rises with age, and across the population as a whole, it begins to become statistically significant with men over 35. There are men who are 34 who may have issues, there are men 38 who may not - 35 is just the age when it begins to be higher than normal risks. The odds are still low that you'll have a baby with a problem, it's just something to consider http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...over-35-a.html
Personally, it's not a risk I was ever comfy with considering I was also over 35 and had higher risk of issues myself. My philosophy has always been healthy eggs + healthy sperm = healthy baby and that's served me well even when I got pg at 41 (and also with a huge amount of luck and good fortune)
Abstain has barely gotten better than 50-50 anyway, at least in our stats. So I'm not entirely sure it's worth the risk. The other alternative is to do reg release with one attempt.
Thank you for replying - I understand. I suspected as much but just needed that sanity check if you KWIM.
The more I read these essays the more cofused I get....thought I had it all planned out - but find myself in question again.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
I should O on CD 13 this month and have been advised to use my rephresh on CD11 aiming to DTD on CD12...but now I'm wondering, please help?
AF (for me) is CD1-4. So hubby should FR CD 5-11? Then we DTD on CD12? But reading what I read we should be DTD every night CD5-11? Guess I'm asking "is he supposed to FR inside because I thought he wasn't to do that until night before O? I thought FR was him doing his thing, then getting rid of "whatever"...but now it says frequent BD???? Or have I just muddled myself up? :worry:
CD 12 will be 18th of this month, so not much planning time left xxx
There is a difference between frequent RELEASE and frequent BD THRU O. They are two different things. Some people have religious objections to intercourse that cannot produce a pregnancy and prefer to do frequent BD thru O. They are both believed to sway pink, I believe FBD is riskier and peopel MUST take care to have 7-10 releases before the first one that can possibly get them pg.
Frequent release - 7-10 releases before having ONE attempt inside and that's all.
Frequent BD thru O - 7-10 releases inside before earliest date that you can possibly get pg, keeping in mind the fertile window can open 5 days before ovulation (so unless a woman has longer cycles, a couple would have to most likely have intercourse during AF which some people don't want to)
Hi,
I'm sorry to ask a question that may have been answered before, but was hoping to get some confirmation on my understanding.
We are swaying blue and are trying a bit of a non-hard core mix of HE diet and timing/frequency (2-4 days) sway. I've been using OPKs and thought I saw a very close to positive OPK last night (CD 18 - I have about 34 day cycles) so we BD'ed that night, but this morning (CD 19) the positive line is much darker and a clear positive so I think we have may attempted a bit early. As I had a miscarriage in October (we are trying after 2nd AF) getting pregnant is more important than gender selection so we will BD again tonight and maybe squeeze in a third attempt tomorrow evening (CD 20).
Do you think that back-to-back BD on CD 18, 19 (likely O day), and 20 is a bit risky for blue sway? I'm 34, husband is 37, and we had sex on CD 11 and 14 as well.
Thank you so much for all the information provided on this website. I find it to be one of the most intelligent, informative and open websites that is accommodating and accepting of not only the various types of methods out there, but also of just human nature to want something and attempt to achieve that goal. I am really impressed at your ability to gather and explain so much information, organise the website and answer everyone's posts all while managing a large family! Superwoman!
Thank you so much~
Thank you so very much!! :heart: Not even close to Superwoman but still much appreciated.
I think for TTC Blue that pattern is GREAT!! I would LOVE to see more people do it that way but so many people get scared off by timing that they aren't willing to.
When you have attempts in the fertile window, all those swimmers are likely to stay alive and have a shot at the egg. So you are just adding more and more viable sperm to a fertile situation. :agree: all good for blue!!!
Very close to what got me a couple of my boys! good luck and blue dust!!
Atomic ...not sure if I should start a new thread but thought I would ask here first .my hubby is finally on board with ttc girl ...but here's the thing
He is 35...working too much + stress so his libido is next to none...plus his sperm is really runny when we do manage to go for it maybe once a month (TMI SORRY)
he will absolutely not even attempt FR ...so should we abstain 7-10 days and then give it a go??
Also ..since he has no sex drive,does thst mean he has low sperm count??if so, is LR recommended???
Pls lemme know ...thanxxxxx a bunch
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Thanks for the reply!
I actually don't think I will be ovulating this cycle (according to the u/s today), so will have to wait till next month, but will probably go with a similar attempt.
Thanks again!
if he's only releasing like once a month then it's totally normal for there to be a lot of "baby batter".Quote:
Originally Posted by odd
there is nothing magic about being 35, it's just the age at which the statistical risks start to increase across the general population. There are guys who have issues at 30 and others who are fine at 40. so if you feel like you need to do abstain instead, then that is your call to make. I would feel ok with it at 35 as long as you don't have any history of babies with issues that could be traced to the male side of the equation.
A lot goes into sex drive and so I can't say if his low sex drive = low testosterone or not. And for sure can't say if it means low sperm count. He would need a sperm analysis for that.
The licorice root has gotten very good results so I would be loathe to leave it out without being pretty darn sure that he does have low T and/or low sperm count.
Great :-)thank you sooooo muh
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Ahhh now I'm more confused... thought I had a plan but now I have no idea!
DH and I are closing in on 36 so sounds like we should not abstain. I don't think DH is too keen on doing FR either since it gets super tedious and it would be hard for him.
We have been trying for about 7 months (THANKS ATMOIC for my awesome customized plan!!!) but no BFP. I have dropped LE just this past month or two as it was getting too hard to keep it going.
So am wondering, what is the best way to increase chances of getting PG but with more than one attempt to increase odds? What about DTD every day to lower sperm count? Is that way too boy? Read about "Sperm meets Egg" method but that sounds like it would be a very boy sway.
Help!
Tell me everything you guys are doing/using/taking gretta.
Has hubby had a sperm analysis? Would he be willing to? I had one person who couldn't get pg and we assumed it was the swaying, but it turned out her hubby was shooting blanks. This can happen even if you have been pg before (and for some reason I have it in my mind that this is your first baby??)
For frequency, I think you are best off doing the pattern of unprotected sex every 4 days and then one additional attempt at pos OPK. Two attempts (with overall pink sway) has gotten 65% success for pink and this number drops a LOT if you have 3 attempts (less than 50-50) so if there's any way to stick with the two attempts in fertile window, I think that's best. I don't think we're at the point where we are ready to go to SMEP, and this is particularly true if you are not doing diet any more. Gradual changes over time will enable you to get pg while still maintaining at least SOME sway tactics.
If you are already doing this, we have a couple options. My thinking is that it may behoove us to try using a little Robi/Muci and/or Preseed before adding attempts. People balk at that because they think these things sway blue, but 3 attempts sways blue too, so I think we have to at least be open to the possibility of trying to improve CM before adding attempts.
My cycles have been so off lately. I really have no clue what day I would O ahead of time as it has varied about 4-6 days each month and it can swing either way. For ttc pink what do you suggest for me and my husband? He is 29 and has a healthy drive and will be taking LR. When we conceived our first 2 boys it was sex constantly...so we were basically sealing our fate there. Last DS we did a 6 day cut-off, which I had previously thought would sway girl. We get pregnant on the first try every time as well. I was planning to abstain but should we not with the LR? I am unsure when we would start frequent release or how we would know the two attempt in the fertile window would work since I can't predict it easily. Maybe we should do compressed and have him release 2-3 times the one day we attempt before the big BD, is this correct? I am unsure how to use OPK's very well. Well now my words are all scrambled. I hope I was clear enough?!
Hi Atomic,
I am on CD12, probably going to ovulate tomm. Clear blue shows peak as well as OPK strip this morning. I used Rephresh this morning even though i used rephresh 2 days back only. Is that ok.
I will BD around 9-10 hours after using Rephresh. I took Cetrizine Antihistamine and will take Banadryl and DH will take sudafed 1-2 hours before.
DH did not take anything else for the sway. I am on LE diet for around 6 weeks now. No cal, mg supplements only folic acid. Took peppermint tea here and there and crystal light 2-4 servings a day.
My weight has been reduce by about 10lbs.
Does it all look like good to have a girl!
I am on my BD day. Please shoot anything that i can do to increase my chances for my DD.
DH abstaining since 10 days and we are going to try one attempt now (after +ve OPK). I am scared to death between cut off and +ve opk. Hope what i am doing give me by DG.
Since i will be BDing 12 hours ore more after positive OPK (May be i could have got positive OPK late in night or middle of night), Isnt it that i am BDing on the ovulation or very close to ovulation.
Does it still sway with abstain. I am thinking of jump and dump.
Appreciate any help from such a wonderful group especially Atomic who is always replying so patiently!
I think it is best for you guys to focus on the overall sway. If there was some thing we could do at the last minute that helped a sway, we'd all only sway for one day.
Timing doesn't sway. It just doesn't work. Most of us on here have 2-3-4 opposites with timing to prove it! As long as you are having the one attempt that's what you need to do.
Hi Atomic,
I have a question, I am now swaying (for pink) about 12 weeks and have already made one attempt but unfortunately I am not pregnant yet. Because of my BMI, I would like to get pregnant as soon as possible. The last time we did frequent release for seven days with one attempt. My husband would rather do no more FR because it is so exhausting to endure this every day. I'm thinking now to do abstain. My husband is 33 years old (fyi).
I am on CD 5 now. Is abstaining for 8 days and one attempt (when I have a positive OPK) a good idea of would you recommend something else?
Thanks in advance.
The one attempt is the most important thing. Abstain is fine if you want to use it but it certainly won't help you get pregnant any faster.
My recommendation instead would be to have DH do regular release, every 2-4 days starting now. Then when you get positive OPK, have one attempt. the regular release will ensure that there are enough sperm present for you to conceive with one attempt.
Another thing you could do instead is have unprotected sex every 4 days starting after AF and going thru until when you are 100% sure you have ovulated. This may help because if you miss your positive OPK< you'll still be in with attempt, plus it will be a good amount of sperm. It seems to work very similarly to one attempt and we are getting good results with it.
This is all very confusing as I think I just read on another post that frequency wasn't important anymore. So for a girl I was planning on dh releasing every day, is that still a good plan? Also it scares me a bit to only try once. I need to be pregnant in February (with my two boys I got pregnant first month of trying) so worried it's a bit too risky. Husband is up for frequent release - this shouldn't be unprotected sexual though should it? I feel like I need a list of bullet points telling me the right and wrong things to do regarding frequency and when to actually have unprotected sex for a girl away :-(
Also, what is the liquorice root for?
Well, it's an older post and the majority of people want to start off doing a very strict sway and then drop tactics over time. Thus, I leave this info up for people who choose to give it a try with frequency even tho it is not really proving itself effective. I find it best to allow everyone to pick and choose from a variety of sway tactics and then track results because the "one size, fits all" approach doesn't work - we honestly do not KNOW what is best and it is only through trial and error, with every individual doing what they think will work best and feels right to them, that the trends will gradually begin to become obvious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud26
Obviously a person who needs to be pregnant in February is not going to be able to do these types of things. It would cut your odds of conception too far to try to add frequency. And I think it would be a misstep to keep frequency and add attempts (we went through a phase where we did just that and it was our lowest success rates in the 5 years of the site) Whenever someone is in a hurry to conceive, I think it is wisest to drop anything that doesn't work and cuts odds of conception (like daily release) to focus on what actually DOES. So you would lose the frequency totally, it just isn't going to gain you much, if anything and it will cut your chances of getting pregnant too far.
Thus, my recommendation to you would be to select one of the following:
Option A) have your husband do regular release every 2-4 days (this isn't a frequency pattern really, it would simply make a nice amount of swimmers) and then have one attempt at positive OPK. Lower odds conception, possibly better odds of pink
Option B) Have unprotected sex every 4 days plus one attempt at positive OPK (this would be 2 attempts in fertile window) Higher odds of conception, still pretty good results for pink.
Lowers testosterone and raises estrogen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud26
LR has not gotten fab results of late and I think it would prob. cut odds of conception too far for you guys.