blue swayers why???

Hey!
It’s actually a really interesting topic, thanks!
I always had the desire to have a son, it’s weird but in my ‘perfect family picture’ I envisioned a big brother and a tribe of younger kids – boys and girls –I just always had that mental image of that. Like having 2 boys then 2 girls or a BGBG pattern would have been my ideal!
I was the eldest in my family (well I have a half-sister older than me but we don’t get along and she didn’t live with us – was o/s –if we had, I might have had a more positive outlook on having a bunch of girls first) – followed by 2 younger brothers. I always was the ‘2nd mum” – I am a bit of a control freak and like to have order – my mum went through some tough years health wise when I was still a teenager living at home, my dad was o/s for work most of the time – I cared for my younger siblings and the household a lot. I felt I had to step up as my mum, god love her, was a bit of a lax mum, too much so, and my desire for order, and control took over so things could run smoother for my brothers’ sake mainly (and my sanity). I would hate to have that happen in my home and have my girls feel like they have to be the carers etc – I think.
I always pictured myself with a family different than mine, I guess – a boy then some girls and boys - and also, I would have been happy to have like 5 girls if I could have had a boy first. I think the pressure was from me – even before I met my now husband, I saw myself surrounded by a tribe of boys and a couple of little girls to “finish off” – I was never in the mindset “I don’t want a girl” – but rather “ I sooo want a boy”. I would never regret having my girls nor wish for them to have been boys, but I will regret not having a mother-son relationship one day if that never eventuates.
My husband could not care less for gender – so never had any “pressure” from him on gender of our kids (though I think he secretly is somewhat worried about what having a son night entail – his parents divorced when he was young and his relationship with his own dad can be fragile: he therefore puts a lot of pressure on himself somehow I think to have a good relationship with his kids and a boy would be something he would maybe fear of living the difficulties he had with his dad with his own son – I may just extrapolate as we haven’t discussed this).

I know that family are generally less excited for 2nd/3rd etc bubs, and definitely felt that when we announced my 2nd pregnancy (being far away from any help/family probably makes them think we are nuts to have more than 1!) but we kept the gender secret until her birth. I could not cope with the idea of people being less excited for her arrival just because she was the same gender as her sister – the whole” you don’t need Xyz because you already have a girl”. Yes when it’s not your 1st child, you likely need less, but does that mean the 2nd born should be less celebrated and spoilt? Anyways, as much as people love her now – I did feel the disappointment in some people – which enrages me to a level beyond belief – and makes me even more of a lioness mama, wanting to protect them fiercely.
I have had the whole “so will you try for a boy next?” – and shrugged it off – I know it’s also part of the social norm for people to expect pigeon pairs so they don’t always mean to upset. But it does upset me in that I know 1000% that if I had another girl I would love her with every ounce of my being just like her sisters – and no less than if she was a boy. I do yearn for a boy – terribly – and my heart aches when I do see baby boys, because I long for that too…I think in this case it’s just human nature to want what you don’t have and want that “balance”.
But coming back to the original topic – yes, I was ready to TTC after both DD1 and DD2 pretty quickly – but tbh that is more linked to the fact it was not easy getting pregnant with them and I am not getting younger or more fertile so just wanted to get on with it… if I had had a boy, I may have put less pressure on myself in a way but still think that if my fertility story had been the same, I would have taken the same approach to it and hoped to get pregnant relatively fast after bub was born.
I always wanted at least 3 or even better 4 kids, so even if I had had a pigeon pair, I would have wanted a couple more kids - ;)

... SO excited to be posting back here after finally becoming a REAL Mom :D :D :D Like YEAH, now I'm up there with all you girls, I did it :) Signature update please! And I feel like I've MISSED everyone!! :)

I must share my new and improved (?) opinion on the subject at hand here, as well as share how it's been going in the process! Bear with me..

In a nutshell - I think you're right Atomic, I think maybe (with exceptions probably, but perhaps as a trend) maybe girl babies are a bit easier? I'm saying this cause.. Flashback to seven weeks back :)

My birth went GREAT :) I was so relieved! And I do believe that I got through those weird moments during pregnancy (the GD strangeness) largely thanks to feedback I've read on the forums here (so great how one can come here and talk openly about GD, no judgement and truthful insights; I just sailed through the gloomier instances repeating to myself that I would love DD and that I was not a bad person for having felt GD and it was not because of that that we wouldn't be close, ever, etc.) I did feel close to her at once and just really pleased about how everything had gone. Close, I'm not saying I was crazy in love, but close and didn't imagine things differently from then on, like you can't imagine living without your arm or something.

She's an easy baby. Even me, with my absolute lack of knowledge, could see that at once. She was sleeping longish stretches at night at once, she never cries more than.. I don't know, twenty minutes maybe? per day. She likes hanging out with us, but also doesn't mind hanging out for quite a while on her own if we're doing something. She was born right in the middle of summer - we didn't even hit the pause button, partly and mostly because of how laid back she is. We just careened on with our usual lifestyle, though parents and in-laws all live far and we had no one to help. Still, we were receiving friends and throwing dinner parties when she was just ten days old, on a semi-daily basis. I would go grab lunch at a cafe with some girlfriends when I felt up to walking a bit further (maybe when she was fifteen days old?) not when she 'allowed' it, because she is just so relaxed! I would roll her over with me in her pram and she would just snooze or look around her while I chatted with my girlfriends. EVERYONE, random passers by included, commented on how adorable and 'sage' ('well-behaved' in French) she was for such a tiny baby (so I sorta felt proud though i hadn't really done anything to deserve it). Part of the 'living on the way we did before' was out of some sort of pride on my side I guess, cause I was honestly tired sometimes (mostly due to breastfeeding demands while I hadn't yet fully recuperated from pregnancy and birth I guess, I am exclusively BF) and I did feel a tad weak when we'd be at the latest barbecue or something.. but none of my or DH's friends have kids yet, we're the first, so it was a bit of a 'let's show that we aren't on the shelf now cause we had a kid' thing, if you see what I mean. Silly, I know, but DH was so happy about DD, and at the same time so pleased that she was all calm like that and we could keep going out and doing things with her in tow, that I didn't want to throw a damper on things saying I was tired and would prefer a lie-in.

And I let slip my probiotic and vitamins and healthy eating routine.. though Atomic had kindly spoken to me about that before I gave birth. LISTEN to Atomic ladies, she has five kids, she knows her stuff.

I got mastitis which turned into a breast abscess and no one was the wiser until it got GINORMOUS because other than that I was feeling ok, no fever no nothing (which is a common symptom for mastitis it seems). My doctor thought I just had engorgement from the milk and said it'd go away.. it didn't! By the time I got a scan and they said 'abscess' the bugger was so huge that the doctors told me they'd have to operate and that of course I'd have to wean from BF abruptly. Now THAT's when I got that a) No way did I want to wean! I hadn't enjoyed BF that much up till then, but I suddenly realized in a blink that it was important to me and that I didn't want to give it up, certainly not so soon. b) Felt guilty/stupid for having focused so much on showing the 'world' that I can have it 'all' - tiny baby and busy social life - instead of just taking things in stride and taking time to bond with DD etc. c) Operation?? No more breastfeeding DD, and no more breastfeeding ever maybe?? Panic!

Thanks are due to the Anglo-Saxons again :) You guys invented needle aspiration for treating abscesses apparently, and I was lucky enough to find the ONE doctor out of the two currently residing in Paris who have trained in treating huge breast abscesses using this method (trained in the US from what I gathered). I had to have multiple aspirations, but as of a few days now I am officially abscess-free :) and I never weaned! :)

Heaven forbid anyone on here should be confronted with the same problem, but should you be, and should you be residing in Europe, come to me and I'll introduce you to my doctor :) Don't let them cut your breasts open (or cut them off, yuck)

And back to the subject at hand - I was majorly stressed during those few overloaded days when we dashed around seeing doctors. We took DD with us everywhere - it came up on us so suddenly that we had no time to think about sitters and that sort of thing, just dragged her along. She was a champ! Never complaining, just laying in her pram and looking at us while we discussed things with the doctors. I realized it somewhere during those days, that I did love her, which was why I had been so upset at the idea of premature weaning - and that I was so grateful to her for being such an angel through it all. What we would have done if she were continuously crying or screaming her head off while we had to rush around I have no idea.

So maybe (?) Maybe girls are a bit easier? I am trying to take things a bit slower now, following the abscess, but still, I do not feel over-exhausted or anything. Me and DH were speaking just now without a trace of irony about when we wanted baby number two - partly for DD now, cause we love her and want her to have a sibling, - but I also guess we would not discuss that if we were exhausted all the time after she arrived. It goes along with the HE/LE diet and everything else, right - maybe making a girl 'depletes' a mother's resources less somewhat? Or am I totally wrong?

At least now i feel like - I would like to sway next time round, but would not mind another one of the same :)

And I also feel like 'how does Atomic and other people with 4+ kids do it??' lol You're superheroes...

Oh no! So thankful you didn't have to have an operation!! Wow what an ordeal! I got mastitis all the time when nursing for some reason but it never progressed to that point luckily.

With my first, it took about a week and then I looked at him and thought "Oh gosh I love him!" It wasn't an immediate thing at all for me.

How lucky that DD is such a good baby! But don't be surprised if one day she decides "hmm I think I'll cause some trouble!" They go through a phase around 4 months old where they get kind of cranky till they can start moving on their own.

I kind of "cheated" in having 4+ kids, I had my first two and then 13 years passed before I had the 3 younger ones! I do give all props to moms with larger families because 3 at once was a LOT (my husband is largely useless when it comes to household stuff though - I know some ladies have a lot more help, if you do, hug him!!)

Wishing you the very best and please let me know if I can help at all with your sway moving forward!

Just found this post and read through - all very interesting. My boys are spaced 2 and a half years apart, there is no way I would have wanted them any closer and there definitely does seem to be, in general, a very different way of thinking between blue and pink swayers. A few thoughts....if us women with boys generally get pregnant easier and more quickly, do we not feel that pressure to try right away incase it takes a long time i.e. my attitude in the past was always, 'I'll choose the month I want to conceive and it will happen that month' - I never even considered it taking a long time so i planned it exactly, even to having babies in different seasons! Do we have a more controlling attitude in the sense of an 'ideal family picture' with 'perfect' age gaps? I would say, in general, boys are definitely harder as babies/toddlers so I couldn't have coped with another any sooner. My boys fight (maybe more than girls would) so have waited longer for a third? We seem to be less in a rush to 'finish having babies and get on with our lives' - i.e. be able to do more when the kids have grown up - is that a personality factor? I always want to do things 'right' so if you said waiting was best for a sway, I would wait, regardless of anything else, because I always want to do things to the best of my ability - again, is that a boy mum personality thing? I don't know. All very interesting. The more I've been on this site and the more I think about it - despite desperately wanting a girl, it does feel 'right' for me to have boys. I'm a teacher and I was always more drawn to the boys, I like boy things, I had a great relationship with my brother - I feel 'suited' to being a boy mum and a lot of the girl mums I look at seem suited to being girl mums but maybe that's just because that's what we are. Who knows? All very fascinating though!

I don't believe boy babies are more difficult keeping their parents from wanting to have the second baby later than girl moms. I could see if you were talking about the toddler years, but based on the first year I don't think gender plays a factor. I've been ready both times to start trying again when my babies have been 6 months old. The first time, my husband said haha no!(babies take time away from his video games and free time). We'll wait till he's at least a year old. And now this second time I would start TTC again right now but I'm going HT after I've breastfed my son for a year. I might be willing to believe I just got lucky with a rare easy boy, but my second is just as easy if not more so. When looking at the things that would make a couple want to try for another within the first year I would think the main things are baby's a good sleeper, baby can play independently and isn't too needy, whether or not the mom's happy with how she's feeding the baby(it can be stressful to have low supply or not be able to breastfeed when you want to), how flexible and "easy" the baby is temperament wise, not have a c section(Doctors usually want you to wait longer than a year to have another after a c section) and other things like financial or career wise. All of those factors have nothing to do with gender. I thought maybe men were more willing to try again so they can get their boy, but I'm seeing that's not the case and girl moms have to try just as hard as boy moms to convince them to try again. My theory is maybe women are feeling less selfish when they are trying for a boy? Like I feel if I went for a girl it's mostly for me, even though my husband wants a girl. I know stopped asking him about having another because I didn't think it was fair to him if he wasn't ready. He was perfectly happy with his boy, and there was no pressure to give him a girl. I could see some girl moms feeling like it's ok to keep pushing the second baby issue sooner because they are also or mostly doing it so their husband can have a son, not just for their own desires. Like I know he's not ready for another one, but once I give him a boy he'll be happy we didn't wait. Again just a theory, I'd be interested in hearing from anyone who did conceive their second in the first year even though their husband put up some resistance


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I think it's part of the excitement and also trying to have kids close in age together! DH and I are both 29 and expecting our first DD this December :) I'm already planning my perfect blue sway in my head and hope to start the diet this time next year and make an attempt in November and December 2019 (11,12 months post partum!)

This way we'll hopefully be 31 when our second is born- hopefully a DS and then maybe just maybe if we want a third added in the mix we're still younger than 35. I'm just such a planner lol

I am one of those women you are talking about... I had 2 girls 18 months apart and started planning my 3rd pregnancy a couple months after my DD2. I think it is because when we decided we would have one more we know this is IT. No more, last shot at a boy so I am determined to try everything for as long as I can prior to conception... and I was anxious to learn what I should be doing.

I’m trying to wait a little longer this time. I got pregnant with my second when my DD1 was 9 months old and I was still breastfeeding. My DD2 just turned one year old and I want to wait til the summer. So this age gap will be more like 2-2 and a half years apart.

I also agree that there is more “pressure” to have a boy. I adore the bond I have with my daughters and I want that for my DH. My entire family is FULL of girls so my entire family has been on me to have a boy so I think that is part of it too...

Curious to hear more about timing between pregnancies that hep sway though!!


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My reason for swaying boy is my son's wish. He want someone to play with and he always pray sadly for his brother. When I ask him for what he prayed in church in front of our Lady his eyes always get wet and he can t even say a word. Everyone around us have brother and he have problems when all of them have back up in playing or conflicts on the street. He had sister to play with and since she is 2 year old they play together girly things. And he hate kids song where is sings about boy whos mum bring him brother for birthday from hospital. He runs in room when that song starts so we forward it to another song

Aww sweet baby boy! :heart: I hope we can make this happen for him very soon!!!

I grew up as an only child and was terribly lonely. I wanted a little brother or sister soooooo badly, but my mother only got pregnant one more time when I was 9, and that resulted in miscarriage. I knew I wanted my children to be close in age.

My first daughter was born in March. I wanted a baby born in the summer, so we started trying when she was 5 months old. I wasn't able to conceive while breastfeeding, but sure enough, I got pregnant the exactly one month after my daughter weaned (at almost 10 months). My second daughter was born in November (about 19 months apart).

Now, my first daughter just turned 3 one month ago, and my second daughter is 17 months. Of course, I desperately want a boy, so I've been researching and researching to figure out everything I can possibly do to make that happen. I figured the ideal time to bring a new baby into our home would be when my younger daughter was at least 2... the time to conceive is NOW!

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Originally Posted by LMSM

I was the eldest in my family (well I have a half-sister older than me but we don’t get along and she didn’t live with us – was o/s –if we had, I might have had a more positive outlook on having a bunch of girls first) I always was the ‘2nd mum” – I am a bit of a control freak and like to have order – my mum went through some tough years health wise when I was still a teenager living at home, my dad was o/s for work most of the time – I cared for my younger siblings and the household a lot. I felt I had to step up as my mum, god love her, was a bit of a lax mum, too much so, and my desire for order, and control took over so things could run smoother for my brothers’ sake mainly (and my sanity). I would hate to have that happen in my home and have my girls feel like they have to be the carers etc – I think.
I always pictured myself with a family different 1

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This!

Our society unfortunately is still very much a patriarchy. On one hand, I want a daughter first so that she can rise to overthrow all aspects of male dominated gender norms. On the other hand, I was the eldest daughter and there was so much pressure on me (even to this day) to be the carer of both my siblings, and now that I'm in my 30s, to take care of my aging parents. I kinda just want to reset everything and raise a family without putting that pressure (even if accidentally) on my kids.

bumping for more responses!

my reason for wanting to sway as soon as possible after giving birth was simply impatience. And my wanting everything to be done yesterday attitude. As soon as I found out I was having a second daughter (that was an IG sway mixed with shettles timing), I started looking into ways of getting a son. That sway then failed again... maybe because of not being able to figure it all out step by step but doing a hasty so-so sway.
This behavior happens to me in many parts of my life lol It really gets on my nerves that as soon as I achieved something, I can't relax and enjoy but have to jump up and do the next thing on my imaginary list of important things to do :hair: of course this leads often to doing things not perfectly. :nails: Then I feel the need to fix things as soon as possible. Really annoying.

With this sway I forced myself to sway at least 6 weeks before ttc. I hope it pays off :fx:

I spent a good hour reading this entire thread and I just wanted to add in my story as a blue swayer .

Personally I didn’t have any gender preferences, I just wanted 3-4 kids by the time I was in my mid 30’s and I assumed that they would be a mix of genders. I work as a dentist so professionally I can’t take a huge time off work hence the close spacing of my kids after being married at 27.

I am of an Indian background but even though both mine and DH family have all grown up in Australia there are some societal issues that just never leave. DH is an only son and supposed to carry on the name.

During my first pregnancy everyone on both sides apart from DH kept expecting/hoping for a boy (was the first grandchild on both sides too) and when the 20 week scan said girl my MIL said never mind you will get a boy next time, and asked me to save specific jewellery for my own DIL one day [emoji52]. After the birth of my DD she was fawned upon but I’m sure it was because she was the first grandchild on both sides.

I got pregnant with my DD2 when DD1 was 10 months- I had never ever looking up gender swaying or believed it was possible , just was trying to keep up with my goal of having my kids without waiting too long. My mom was disappointed with the quick conception saying she thought it would mean a girl and she wanted me to have a boy. Once the 20 week scan came and confirmed pink my MIL and FIL didn’t say anything to me but just said never mind you still have time for a boy to my DH.

After DD2 was born most of my DH family just said she wasn’t as cute as my DD1 and that she should have been a boy . It really hurt my heart to see DD2 being so ignored. Even now at 20 months DD2 is much much more independent and carefree and plays mainly by herself and because of this gets ignored or overlooked. Breaks my heart constantly. I’m always trying to give her extra love and attention and show her she’s precious as anything. I will be so upset when she’s older if people keep telling my DD1 she’s their favourite or their special one or whatever. I really worry for her (DD2) self esteem and worth if the right attitudes aren’t there .

We didn’t TTC until DD2 was 20 months as we moved states and both got new jobs and I didn’t think I could cope with another small gap, nothing to do with gender, but now I’m TTC with a blue sway. DH just wants a healthy baby, he’s not interested in gender but is happy for a large family so he supports me no matter what I want to try.

On a side note my sister and my 2 SILs all have boys and constantly act like having a boy is harder work and a boy is more special etc etc cultural bias....

I love both my daughters more than anything and I don’t really have a preference for myself but the pressure for a boy is high so when we started to TTC again I found this site after a month of trying shettles . I just pray that if I don’t have a successful blue sway a possible third daughter won’t be completely invisible to everyone except us as her parents.

Thankfully within all this madness I can honestly say DH has never ever once suggested that a boy was/is what he wants and I know he loves the girls with everything. Sometimes I feel we should just move countries and escape all the negativity....


Sorry for my rambling long post and thanks for listening.....


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:heart: Viola thank you so much for sharing your story!!! We'll do what we can to get you a boy but no matter what I know your children will be so loved regardless of gender. :heart:

Thanks so much atomic! Sorry for the late reply but we have been moving house again. BFN on 8, 10,12 DPO and I think I’m out this month again [emoji853]



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Please let me know how I can help! :bluecheer: :bluecheer: :bluecheer:

Thought I would chime in here as a pink swayer on why I did not try to immediately get pregnant after sway opposite. I really wanted to sway immediately, like catch the first egg, because I thought it would be most effective for my sway. I also have a lot of anxiety about whether or not I will have a daughter which I think will dissipate after I am pregnant and the window has closed. But I couldn't bring myself to sway that quickly.

I have a crazy spreadsheet where I plan all my children's spacing (not a new project, made after first child). It shows every monthly due date from now until 2022. It shows child spacing, year the enter school, age I will be when they graduate, birthday party weather, etc. It might be the most crazy spreadsheet I've ever made (and I make a lot of spreadsheets). Just going for it soon after birth didn't fit with my analyses of my health, kids best interest, etc. I am too controlling to not think about those things and just go for it without a lot of overthinking.

Also, for me personally, the LE diet is quite different than my current diet and I want to go vegetarian for my sway. I think if I had to go on the HE diet I could start tomorrow. Same for energy to start the cardio. Hard to will myself to start while sleep deprived.

Cruising old threads and found this one. I will say it's a lot of pressure from family as hubby is only boy and we need to "carry on the name" and a lot of how I am. I'm really competitive so hearing that "we cant make a boy" bothers me to my core and makes me want to try again and prove everyone wrong. Of course I wanted this to happen very soon so we started trying after dd1 first bday but our sway failed and now we have dd2. No regrets we are so in love with them but my whole life I imagined having only boys and now I'm begging the universe for just one. So we womt start trying til dd2 is 2 but I'm already starting to make lifestyle changes so we will be good when that time comes

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Thank you for sharing and let me know how I can help!!

totally understandable! Indian culture here. Did you get your boy With the diet?

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Originally Posted by mummum

totally understandable! Indian culture here. Did you get your boy With the diet?

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Which poster are you asking about, and I can tell you if I know. Sometimes people move on after they've answered a thread but I can tell the outcomes of any sways I know of.

My understanding of the post is that if one is TTC with a minimum of 12 months of a prior child's birth it usually sways pink?

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Originally Posted by RocknRoll86

My understanding of the post is that if one is TTC with a minimum of 12 months of a prior child's birth it usually sways pink?

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We believe it SWAYS pink, but the way you phrase "it usually sways pink" means I think I better explain a little more here.

The thing that is very likely actually swaying is maternal condition and overall fertility (which depends on your condition). Being in somewhat better condition (due to good nutrition, muscle mass, enough sleep, etc) tends to sway blue, and being in slightly worse condition tends to sway pink. But the catch is that anyone in actually bad, or even slightly bad condition reduced their fertility so far they cannot get pregnant at all, and it's very easy to drop into bad enough (in other words, you don't need to be feeling run down, tired, weak, or very sick to be in low enough condition to not conceive.) It happens quite frequently and usually you feel perfectly fine when it happens. You would not think you are in bad condition or having reduced fertility, in many if not most cases, you'd feel normal and your cycle would still be normal. This can happen, for example, when you're breastfeeding and just after you had a baby as well, even if you are in overall good health. And additionally breastfeeding and postpartum hormones suppress fertility too, regardless of what kind of condition you're in, because that is nature's method of birth control to ensure you don't have too many babies at the same time.

So what can happen postpartum is that most people can't get pregnant anyway, and these are the people in the "worst" condition with the most suppressed fertility. Anyone who CAN get pregnant in that first year, with a boy or a girl, is by default already in pretty good condition. Many people can't get pregnant at all till 6-12 months or even longer if breastfeeding. So of the group that gets pregnant, yes, close child spacing does sway pink we believe because it equates to lower condition and the hormones of postpartum and lactation gently suppress fertiity, but a whole lot of those people are in really good condition, and their fertility already can't be suppressed much for them to be able to get pregnant.

Long story short this means that even though close child spacing does sway pink, and I urge blue swayers to wait at minimum 12 and more likely 18 months to TTC after having a baby, it does NOT mean that all or most babies are going to be girls who are conceived this close together, because most of the people who are even ABLE to have a baby at all are going to be in the "good condition, very fertile" category or else they wouldn't be getting pregnant to start with!

It's one of those things that sways, but like everything in swaying, is not a guarantee or even easy to see in the general population.

Hi Atomic,

i didnt know where to ask my question so i ask here.
my ovulation used to be day 14 or 15. it became 16,17 after some years and now is moved even further to 20-21. when its too late ultrasound also shows that my uterine lining is thick.

Is there anything I can do to make ovulation to happen sooner in my cycle? like day 15-16?

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Originally Posted by rahaye_raha

Hi Atomic,

i didnt know where to ask my question so i ask here.
my ovulation used to be day 14 or 15. it became 16,17 after some years and now is moved even further to 20-21. when its too late ultrasound also shows that my uterine lining is thick.

Is there anything I can do to make ovulation to happen sooner in my cycle? like day 15-16?

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Do you know how to start a new thread?? Open up the forum you want to post in (this is the part everyone misses - you don't open a thread, you need to open the forum itself) and then you'll see the new thread option. I will answer here because the question is here, but this really has nothing to do with what this thread is about and I would prefer you start a new thread in the future, thanks!

Did you gain weight or start eating more carbohydrates before this happened? Have you ever been tested for PCOS?

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

We believe it SWAYS pink, but the way you phrase "it usually sways pink" means I think I better explain a little more here.

The thing that is very likely actually swaying is maternal condition and overall fertility (which depends on your condition). Being in somewhat better condition (due to good nutrition, muscle mass, enough sleep, etc) tends to sway blue, and being in slightly worse condition tends to sway pink. But the catch is that anyone in actually bad, or even slightly bad condition reduced their fertility so far they cannot get pregnant at all, and it's very easy to drop into bad enough (in other words, you don't need to be feeling run down, tired, weak, or very sick to be in low enough condition to not conceive.) It happens quite frequently and usually you feel perfectly fine when it happens. You would not think you are in bad condition or having reduced fertility, in many if not most cases, you'd feel normal and your cycle would still be normal. This can happen, for example, when you're breastfeeding and just after you had a baby as well, even if you are in overall good health. And additionally breastfeeding and postpartum hormones suppress fertility too, regardless of what kind of condition you're in, because that is nature's method of birth control to ensure you don't have too many babies at the same time.

So what can happen postpartum is that most people can't get pregnant anyway, and these are the people in the "worst" condition with the most suppressed fertility. Anyone who CAN get pregnant in that first year, with a boy or a girl, is by default already in pretty good condition. Many people can't get pregnant at all till 6-12 months or even longer if breastfeeding. So of the group that gets pregnant, yes, close child spacing does sway pink we believe because it equates to lower condition and the hormones of postpartum and lactation gently suppress fertiity, but a whole lot of those people are in really good condition, and their fertility already can't be suppressed much for them to be able to get pregnant.

Long story short this means that even though close child spacing does sway pink, and I urge blue swayers to wait at minimum 12 and more likely 18 months to TTC after having a baby, it does NOT mean that all or most babies are going to be girls who are conceived this close together, because most of the people who are even ABLE to have a baby at all are going to be in the "good condition, very fertile" category or else they wouldn't be getting pregnant to start with!

It's one of those things that sways, but like everything in swaying, is not a guarantee or even easy to see in the general population.

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Thank you for your response Atomic.

I found the following site which also sheds light on this issue: https://amotherfarfromhome.com/why-h...u-might-think/

It is also interesting that this lady had a number of boys closely together.

:)

This is super interesting! I'm hitting the age where all my friends and sister in-laws are having babies, so my son has seven fellow babies all born within six months of him (and who we're in close touch with--my husband is one of 12 so we have allll the cousins).

I've been forming all kinds of theories. In that group, three are girls, and four are boys. And all the boys have been super easy as far as sleeping/eating--they all nursed super well, slept through the night and in their own beds early on, and were generally more independent/happy to kinda hang. All of the girls have co-slept, were fussy, two had issues with breastfeeding, and they ALL have been babies that constantly wanted to be held. So all the girl parents were a lot more stressed early on, but now as our babies are moving into toddlerhood, the girls seem to be getting easier, while the boys are getting crazier (with the exception of my one niece who is rather violent and crazy).

Most of the girls weren't walking at a year (and now that they're about 18 months two still are pretty cautious), whereas most of the boys are running around like crazy, getting into things. We were thinking about conceiving this autumn, but now that our boy is really starting to get into that terrible two phase, we've decided to wait until spring, so that he's 3 and a few months before a second baby comes along, in the hopes that things will be easier on us!

Also, you'll be happy to know that the sway theory on this site really holds for all of my friends--those who have eaten high protein and high fat diets (with lots of veggies), had a bunch of sex, and exercised moderately all had boys, and my friends who were dieters, went on long walks/runs and didn't have sex as often all had girls. I also noticed that all the boy moms fell pregnant immediately, whereas all the girl moms took a few months to get pregnant.

Two of the girl moms want a close age gap (and are hoping for boys, though I don't think they'll sway--they're very much "god will give me what I get" sorts of people), and the third wasn't intending to have any children and accidentally fell pregnant with her daughter, so isn't planning to have anymore. All four boy moms are planning on 2-3 year age gaps, and all except for one hoped for daughters.

Anyway! Sorry for the essay, but I've been mulling on it for awhile and thought it was super interesting!

Also, have you ever wondered if people who want boys tend to be more traditional/religious and therefore less likely to use birth control to space out children? More traditional people also may be more likely to have more girl-mom personalities by being willing to cede control of their lives to whichever God they happen to believe in. Just a thought!

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Originally Posted by lad

Also, have you ever wondered if people who want boys tend to be more traditional/religious and therefore less likely to use birth control to space out children? More traditional people also may be more likely to have more girl-mom personalities by being willing to cede control of their lives to whichever God they happen to believe in. Just a thought!

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This is an interesting theory although many of the people who have the very close child spacing were using birth control. Thank you for sharing, very thought provoking!!!

another person planning a blue sway that intends to have a very close spacing! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ight-gain.html

A little background why I am in a rush essentially I wanted to be done with kids in my early 30 purely as my career has suffered a stop/ start approach in taking time out to raise my kids, so want to be done so I can focus on my career by the time the youngest is 5 ready for school etc. Baby no #4 would be our last one.

2013: first baby was a boy was BD a lot as it wasn’t sticking
2016: Girl ( was a accident slip up back message gone wrong [emoji23])
2019: Girl planned but only one BD

We have always wanted 2 of each whilst we feel really blessed and grateful to convince and have 3 beautiful kids, another boy would complete my family especially for my son as he asks for a brother everyday as my MIL had him convinced my DD2 was a little brother for him. I don’t know why I just think boys are harder to convince maybe as I have not been pregnant with a boy since 8 years ago.

Currently I am 13 months PP EBF DD2 but I don’t have any periods at all, from past experiences I get them when I fully stop nursing. I have been taking vitamins and extra folic acid ( I am the heaviest I Harv ever been at 68kg and want to TTC a big sway soon but in my head it’s like I know it would be another girl... so used to seeing girls everywhere even though I do have a son already just to make his dreams for a little Brother come true would complete our family.

Currently we are BD every 2/3 days unprotected with little pre-seed ( I have tried OPK and I get same faint line never reach darker line)

I don’t know I just spend all my days reading forums and praying for a little boy but so anxious about the sway. How do you know when the time is right or if you have done enough?


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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Londongirl1990

A little background why I am in a rush essentially I wanted to be done with kids in my early 30 purely as my career has suffered a stop/ start approach in taking time out to raise my kids, so want to be done so I can focus on my career by the time the youngest is 5 ready for school etc. Baby no #4 would be our last one.

2013: first baby was a boy was BD a lot as it wasn’t sticking
2016: Girl ( was a accident slip up back message gone wrong [emoji23])
2019: Girl planned but only one BD

We have always wanted 2 of each whilst we feel really blessed and grateful to convince and have 3 beautiful kids, another boy would complete my family especially for my son as he asks for a brother everyday as my MIL had him convinced my DD2 was a little brother for him. I don’t know why I just think boys are harder to convince maybe as I have not been pregnant with a boy since 8 years ago.

Currently I am 13 months PP EBF DD2 but I don’t have any periods at all, from past experiences I get them when I fully stop nursing. I have been taking vitamins and extra folic acid ( I am the heaviest I Harv ever been at 68kg and want to TTC a big sway soon but in my head it’s like I know it would be another girl... so used to seeing girls everywhere even though I do have a son already just to make his dreams for a little Brother come true would complete our family.

Currently we are BD every 2/3 days unprotected with little pre-seed ( I have tried OPK and I get same faint line never reach darker line)

I don’t know I just spend all my days reading forums and praying for a little boy but so anxious about the sway. How do you know when the time is right or if you have done enough?


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I ask myself the same question too! I had my DS in 2013, DD1 in 2015 and DD2 in 2018. I am okay with the 3 kids, but DH wants another son and my DS is always asking for a younger brother especially when the girls team up to play pranks on him.

I always read through the ttc boy posts on this site, and I keep planning the perfect sway, but whenever it's time to BD I develop cold feet and postpone ttc.

I have postponed ttc till January or February or march, hopefully by then I will be brave enough to try. Even though I know that another DS will definitely be a lovely addition to our family. I keep asking myself if I really want to have another baby.

For now, I have started the supplements and I'm trying to incorporate exercise and some elements of the HE diet.

Good luck to you and everyone else trying to conceive a boy.

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Originally Posted by 9jamama01

I ask myself the same question too! I had my DS in 2013, DD1 in 2015 and DD2 in 2018. I am okay with the 3 kids, but DH wants another son and my DS is always asking for a younger brother especially when the girls team up to play pranks on him.

I always read through the ttc boy posts on this site, and I keep planning the perfect sway, but whenever it's time to BD I develop cold feet and postpone ttc.

I have postponed ttc till January or February or march, hopefully by then I will be brave enough to try. Even though I know that another DS will definitely be a lovely addition to our family. I keep asking myself if I really want to have another baby.

For now, I have started the supplements and I'm trying to incorporate exercise and some elements of the HE diet.

Good luck to you and everyone else trying to conceive a boy.

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Sounds like we are exactly in the same place. I don’t know my husband thinks I am crazy with all this research and believes what ever we are destined for we will get but for me if I can improve my odds like a little why not but at the same time I feel guilty about the idea of no wanting another DD, and trying to sway to a boy, so it’s like a bittersweet moment. I am EBF still so I don’t think that sways me more pink and all my relatives who have siblings close in age seem to have girls so that also is at the back of my head.

What supplements are u taking - I am limited due to the ebf
I am taking prencare pre conception
Extra folic with vitamin d
Fish oil

Read green tea is good


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London, the truth is you don't ever know when the time is right or that you've done enough. We do what we can and then we just eventually have to try.

what is your plan for attempts when the fertile window opens?

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Originally Posted by Londongirl1990

Sounds like we are exactly in the same place. I don’t know my husband thinks I am crazy with all this research and believes what ever we are destined for we will get but for me if I can improve my odds like a little why not but at the same time I feel guilty about the idea of no wanting another DD, and trying to sway to a boy, so it’s like a bittersweet moment. I am EBF still so I don’t think that sways me more pink and all my relatives who have siblings close in age seem to have girls so that also is at the back of my head.

What supplements are u taking - I am limited due to the ebf
I am taking prencare pre conception
Extra folic with vitamin d
Fish oil

Read green tea is good


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Please wean off the Pregnacare. It is a terrible product and should be taken off the market IMO. Those massive doses of nutrients are not proven safe, and have delayed or even stopped ovulation for many people. Don't drop it cold turkey, just wean off of it.

I would try to find some other multivitamin even if it isn't purely a prenatal, like Women's One a Day or Centrum.

How much fish oil?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Please wean off the Pregnacare. It is a terrible product and should be taken off the market IMO. Those massive doses of nutrients are not proven safe, and have delayed or even stopped ovulation for many people. Don't drop it cold turkey, just wean off of it.

I would try to find some other multivitamin even if it isn't purely a prenatal, like Women's One a Day or Centrum.

How much fish oil?

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Oh damn I didn’t know, should I just take folic with vitamin d until I buy alternative.

This is the one I am taking 2x and my partner the same.

Is there anything else I could be taking that will help my sway further?

I don’t even know tbh I anticipated my period would of returned by now but nothing we are BD every 2/3 days unprotected with little pressed and lots of praying for a blue one.


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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Londongirl1990

Sounds like we are exactly in the same place. I don’t know my husband thinks I am crazy with all this research and believes what ever we are destined for we will get but for me if I can improve my odds like a little why not but at the same time I feel guilty about the idea of no wanting another DD, and trying to sway to a boy, so it’s like a bittersweet moment. I am EBF still so I don’t think that sways me more pink and all my relatives who have siblings close in age seem to have girls so that also is at the back of my head.

What supplements are u taking - I am limited due to the ebf
I am taking prencare pre conception
Extra folic with vitamin d
Fish oil

Read green tea is good


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Hi London,

Presently I'm taking Centrum women, fish oil and probiotics.

What do you mean when you say you are EBF still?

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by 9jamama01

Hi London,

Presently I'm taking Centrum women, fish oil and probiotics.

What do you mean when you say you are EBF still?

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I am still breastfeeding my 13 month old daughter
Which fish oil and probiotics are you taking


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