I'm so glad you understand me, I was out w/ my girlfriends today and said there is no way that I'm letting anyone know I'm a homeschooler cuz I will give homeschool a really bad name. They were crazy, wish I could say that isn't somewhat normal though. :) DD1 was so compliant and I was so good and was never an issue ever and did I have it together.....then came DD2. She's cute my Oh My is she difficult. I used to think DD1 was so good cuz I was such a good parent. HA!
It's so hard right now with the little ones and trying to keep the house clean (failing miserably, in case you were wondering :)), plus everything else on our plates. But when all is said and done, I couldn't imagine ever looking back and wishing we had less children. There is a season and this crazy one will pass. That's not to say I don't call my DH crying that I just can't do it all and the kids are ganging up on me. :)
I'm super sensitive this way, but I only have so many years to have children, then it's gone, gone. I'll never get the opportunity to help create a life, to feel a baby kick inside my stomach, to nurse, to hear my child call me mom for the 1st time.....you know what I mean. What a precious gift, and one I've taken for granted in some ways.
2 boys would be great fun. I want my son get to be a "big" brother again also. DS#1 is such a sensitive child in a good way and has always loved babies. He keeps DS2 alive in such neat and precious ways. After what we went through I think it will be so healing for all of us.
Keep having children MFC, as many as you and DH think you can handle. You can do it!!!
Man, I am always so long winded. Thanks for bearing w/ me. :)