ColdWater, can you take a look please?

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Originally Posted by JoannaK

I have an interesting thought I wanted to pose- I just brought it up with Butterfly Spirit, I'm a bit tentative to post it publicly, but I'm sure you ladies know I'm not meaning it to be malicious at all, not at all. But I'm just wondering, the lady who told me I should be grateful I could even get pregnant because I lost my last baby, we all know the story. The thing is, (and of COURSE i absolutely WON'T do this), but wouldn't it be the "same thing" if I said to her "well it's a good thing you can't get pregnant because if you did, you could be having constant miscarriages with each successful month" ? Isn't that roughly the same thing? And imagine how she would feel if someone said that to her.... And again, I couldn't do it, no matter how badly somebody hurts me, I couldn't hurt them like that. Just a thought to muse over....?

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Wow just wow so disappointed with this statement

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Originally Posted by JoannaK

I have an interesting thought I wanted to pose- I just brought it up with Butterfly Spirit, I'm a bit tentative to post it publicly, but I'm sure you ladies know I'm not meaning it to be malicious at all, not at all. But I'm just wondering, the lady who told me I should be grateful I could even get pregnant because I lost my last baby, we all know the story. The thing is, (and of COURSE i absolutely WON'T do this), but wouldn't it be the "same thing" if I said to her "well it's a good thing you can't get pregnant because if you did, you could be having constant miscarriages with each successful month" ? Isn't that roughly the same thing? And imagine how she would feel if someone said that to her.... And again, I couldn't do it, no matter how badly somebody hurts me, I couldn't hurt them like that. Just a thought to muse over....?

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I have to say I supported and felt for you the other day when I replied. But after that statement you have lost all respect from me. I can't believe another mother, woman or human could possibly compare both. And that is coming from
Someone who unfortunately suffered both numerous miscarriages AND GD!!!!

You got 80% from your doctor so leave it be ,you are doing no one any favours thinking or saying statements like that!!!

Log off and enjoy your good news and let it go!!

I don't know the whole backstory nor all the comments made elsewhere but I do know we all have moments of frustration and when you don't feel supported it can feel like people are against you when they are really just skeptical because of their own baggage.

There are many green eyed monsters on the Internet and there are people who are genuinely happy for us when things work out.

Sure everyone on this thread has had a moment in their life where they did not rise above so let's not get too down on someone who may simply be reading into others posts the wrong way. You cannot tell tone through the Internet and that can lead to misunderstandings.

gotta add my 2 cents here. if you know its a girl and you want everyone to back off why do you keep posting and stressing and freaking out about every little comment? everyone said enjoy your pregnancy and let it go. so let it go. plus i didn't get the whole other story but you can't compair someone who can't even carry a child to boo hoo i didn't get a girl.

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Originally Posted by girlmom

gotta add my 2 cents here. if you know its a girl and you want everyone to back off why do you keep posting and stressing and freaking out about every little comment? everyone said enjoy your pregnancy and let it go. so let it go. plus i didn't get the whole other story but you can't compair someone who can't even carry a child to boo hoo i didn't get a girl.

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Speaking for J, because it was 80% not 100% is the reason she is freaking out, I'm sure. Everyone knows nothing is 100% until birth and I'm sure J is aware of that even if it wasn't expressed.

While many of us may agree that you should not make a comparison to an infertile woman, GD is difficult and can almost feel like a death has occurred even though logically, we know we should be happy with what we are given.

We have people openly talking about aborting the next child if thie next isn't the "right" gender so there are many levels to GD and not all are understood nor tolerated by all.

Ok ladies clear this up right now. I've deleted my comment and I truly apologise for hurting people's feelings. I thought my comparison was valid, apparently nobody agrees, but that's ok. What I did make clear was that I would never ever say it to that lady directly. What I wanted to make clear, and maybe I didn't make it clear, was that what that lady said to me REALLY hurt me. Most of you may not understand why, but it really hurt. Because she was implying that because I care about what gender this child is, that I don't appreciate this baby as much as someone else who doesn't mind about the gender. And THAT is unfair, and THAT is cruel, and I hope people here can acknowledge that.

I think the vast majority of us understand your last point and those that don't should probably not hang out on a gender website!

What I meant by the "same thing" ( because clearly it's literally not the same thing, so that was a very poor choice of words on my part, but Ive been extremely upset lately) but what I was trying to say is that a statement like that results in hurt feelings, and it's something that didn't have to be said (both her and my statements ). That is what I mean by "the same thing". But again, I understand if nobody understands, and I apologise if people are still hurt. I removed my post, I don't know what else I can possibly do.

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Originally Posted by JoannaK

What I meant by the "same thing" ( because clearly it's literally not the same thing, so that was a very poor choice of words on my part, but Ive been extremely upset lately) but what I was trying to say is that a statement like that results in hurt feelings, and it's something that didn't have to he said (both her and my statements ). That is what I mean by "the same thing". But again, I understand if nobody understands, and I apologise if people are still hurt. I removed my post, I don't know what else I can possibly do.

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Let's just shake our etch-a-sketch and move on! I look forward to your update and it will give hope to those that really saw a boy nub that there is always a chance that the baby is a girl regardless of what is between the legs so early!