Part 2: Due January, February & March 2019

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

Yup - I caved, LOL. It's a boy and a girl! I can handle that :)

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AAAAHHHH! Congrats! I was stalking the thread to see if you peeked. :bluecheer::cheer::hugs:

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Originally Posted by hopper

Ladies, I know you're all further along that I but just wondering how did people take it when you told them you were pregnant? This is #4 for us. The reaction to #3 was less than stellar on all fronts. I know this news will be received similarly.
My mom called over yesterday and noticed that my anti anxiety meds were missing from the bathroom (she has eyes like a hawk) and she asked if I had weaned off them. I said I had over the last while. To which she replies " and there better be no more babies on the horizon. I know how your mind works!" (Ie, wean off meds and get pregnant straight away) I got really annoyed and refused to say anything about babies. Instead just saying that I've been trying to super slowly wean off them since Christmas and that I'm not my sister (who is taking a shed load of meds for anxiety, depression and everything in between and she will be for possibly her whole life) and that I don't want to be on meds long term.
We spent the remainder of the afternoon together. She made several negative pregnancy comments and then proceeded to tell my sister, who called with her partner of 5 months, that she wouldn't mind seeing another grandchild come from her. My sister has no kids, is in a very new relationship with a guy 7 years her junior and has said he's not at the point in his life of settling down and as I said above has obvious mental health issues (her meds would be potentially harmful to a pregnancy whereas the ones I was taking are the most "fetus friendly" you can get) It just hurt my feelings so much. I'm dreading telling her. My dad will laugh and say congrats. My sister will fake smile and then I'll hear all about how she went home and cried after hearing. My in laws - don't get me started. One SIL out of 5 said congrats on DS3.
I'm not doing any kind of social media announcement. I have a group of college friends who have a private FB group and I posted on it and was told point blank I must be crazy. All this negativity :(
Trying to tell myself all that matters is our family and how happy the kids will be when we tell them. I was shocked when I saw the BFP this cycle. We didn't think the timing had worked out at all. I don't think it's fully sunk in yet even and all this going on is making it harder to get my head around :(
Sorry for the essay and I'm sure most of it doesn't even make sense. I just don't know who else to talk to who might "get it". I'm such a positive person. I prefer to build people up even people I don't particularly have much time for. A firm believer of what goes around comes around but finding it all a bit blah at the minute.

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While I'm not a believer in what goes around/comes around , BUT I think it's great you're still staying so positive with such downers around you!

Is it possible to just NOT tell them?! I think when we put expectations on the announcements, we get disappointed -- versus just taking joy within our immediate family can keep us feeling good? My FIL was a shithead when we shared and it's part of why I didn't want to tell our in laws at all, so I definitely understand the hurt from people who are supposed to care not caring. Your moms comments are particularly hurtful!! I never understand when parents say that! My MIL and FIL kept saying that for one of my SILs, but only because they are fully supporting her as she keeps having more kids and we all see how it's exhausting them. But even then -- they should just stop overextending themselves instead of trying to influence others' family planning!

I'm so sorry you're going through this :( Know WE are so excited for your baby here ♡♡♡

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Originally Posted by hopper

Ladies, I know you're all further along that I but just wondering how did people take it when you told them you were pregnant? This is #4 for us. The reaction to #3 was less than stellar on all fronts. I know this news will be received similarly.
My mom called over yesterday and noticed that my anti anxiety meds were missing from the bathroom (she has eyes like a hawk) and she asked if I had weaned off them. I said I had over the last while. To which she replies " and there better be no more babies on the horizon. I know how your mind works!" (Ie, wean off meds and get pregnant straight away) I got really annoyed and refused to say anything about babies. Instead just saying that I've been trying to super slowly wean off them since Christmas and that I'm not my sister (who is taking a shed load of meds for anxiety, depression and everything in between and she will be for possibly her whole life) and that I don't want to be on meds long term.
We spent the remainder of the afternoon together. She made several negative pregnancy comments and then proceeded to tell my sister, who called with her partner of 5 months, that she wouldn't mind seeing another grandchild come from her. My sister has no kids, is in a very new relationship with a guy 7 years her junior and has said he's not at the point in his life of settling down and as I said above has obvious mental health issues (her meds would be potentially harmful to a pregnancy whereas the ones I was taking are the most "fetus friendly" you can get) It just hurt my feelings so much. I'm dreading telling her. My dad will laugh and say congrats. My sister will fake smile and then I'll hear all about how she went home and cried after hearing. My in laws - don't get me started. One SIL out of 5 said congrats on DS3.
I'm not doing any kind of social media announcement. I have a group of college friends who have a private FB group and I posted on it and was told point blank I must be crazy. All this negativity :(
Trying to tell myself all that matters is our family and how happy the kids will be when we tell them. I was shocked when I saw the BFP this cycle. We didn't think the timing had worked out at all. I don't think it's fully sunk in yet even and all this going on is making it harder to get my head around :(
Sorry for the essay and I'm sure most of it doesn't even make sense. I just don't know who else to talk to who might "get it". I'm such a positive person. I prefer to build people up even people I don't particularly have much time for. A firm believer of what goes around comes around but finding it all a bit blah at the minute.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk

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Ooooh boy... Im not sure what page its on but there are a LOT of us in here who can commiserate with you. Personally, this baby is an oops for us. Its a BC baby, and will be nearly 7 years apart from my youngest. Both my boys are on the autism spectrum, one severe so we had decided to stop there. The universe had different plans. My friends- my 2 best, we've been friends around 28 years now- are happy and supportive. My mother.... ehhhh not really. Shes upset and worked up because she thinks I wont have time for Logan, my severe little man who is improving in leaps and bounds since I work with him daily. I def plan to still have time for him, but my mother is a bit of a drama queen so Im sure you can imagine.I havent told anybody else.

My inlaws... Im dreading. My MIL in particular. When we had expressed more babies in the future before we knew Logan was also autistic, she went nuts. "Why would you do that?" "I only had two" "Dont you have enough on your plate? With kids and animals?" "Ridiculous, why would you even consider more?" and so forth. Needless to say I didnt rush off to tell her. Picture the stereotypical jewish MIL from Brooklyn. x10. That is her. Shes even from close to that area (Im originally from Long Island, Im in NC now) They are coming down for a visit around the 6th, and Ive devised a plan to tell them. It will be their wedding anniversary so a card from the kids saying 'Love Jacob, Logan, and Oops'. Maybe if its cute it wont be so bad? :rolleyes:

Surrounded, can I just say how happy I am you've joined us? You have such a great spirit and crack me up!

Abc wowww im so happy for u:celebrate:baby girl and baby boy wonderful news:heart::heart:

Congratulations ABC!!! That’s so exciting!! Boy girl twins are adorable ❤️ I can’t wait to hear name ideas too!!

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

Yup - I caved, LOL. It's a boy and a girl! I can handle that :)

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Love this! Totally a perfect match! So happy you got your pink, ABC!

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by hopper

Ladies, I know you're all further along that I but just wondering how did people take it when you told them you were pregnant? This is #4 for us. The reaction to #3 was less than stellar on all fronts. I know this news will be received similarly.
My mom called over yesterday and noticed that my anti anxiety meds were missing from the bathroom (she has eyes like a hawk) and she asked if I had weaned off them. I said I had over the last while. To which she replies " and there better be no more babies on the horizon. I know how your mind works!" (Ie, wean off meds and get pregnant straight away) I got really annoyed and refused to say anything about babies. Instead just saying that I've been trying to super slowly wean off them since Christmas and that I'm not my sister (who is taking a shed load of meds for anxiety, depression and everything in between and she will be for possibly her whole life) and that I don't want to be on meds long term.
We spent the remainder of the afternoon together. She made several negative pregnancy comments and then proceeded to tell my sister, who called with her partner of 5 months, that she wouldn't mind seeing another grandchild come from her. My sister has no kids, is in a very new relationship with a guy 7 years her junior and has said he's not at the point in his life of settling down and as I said above has obvious mental health issues (her meds would be potentially harmful to a pregnancy whereas the ones I was taking are the most "fetus friendly" you can get) It just hurt my feelings so much. I'm dreading telling her. My dad will laugh and say congrats. My sister will fake smile and then I'll hear all about how she went home and cried after hearing. My in laws - don't get me started. One SIL out of 5 said congrats on DS3.
I'm not doing any kind of social media announcement. I have a group of college friends who have a private FB group and I posted on it and was told point blank I must be crazy. All this negativity :(
Trying to tell myself all that matters is our family and how happy the kids will be when we tell them. I was shocked when I saw the BFP this cycle. We didn't think the timing had worked out at all. I don't think it's fully sunk in yet even and all this going on is making it harder to get my head around :(
Sorry for the essay and I'm sure most of it doesn't even make sense. I just don't know who else to talk to who might "get it". I'm such a positive person. I prefer to build people up even people I don't particularly have much time for. A firm believer of what goes around comes around but finding it all a bit blah at the minute.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk

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What I've learned ( and I only have my son, this is my second pregnancy) is that after two people start questioning you. They look at you like you're insane but will be like, HOPE THIS IS THE (WHATEVER GENDER YOU DONT HAVE) SO YOULL STOP TRYING. I have friend who has four kids and the remarks she received are astoundingly dumb.

You just need to focus on you and your family. I would come up with some witty retorts or very direct answers. People can be so rude without realizing.

"Yes, our plan for world domination is almost complete." I like to say weird things that throw people off because I believe stupid remarks deserve equally dumb answers.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

Yup - I caved, LOL. It's a boy and a girl! I can handle that :)

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Omg ABC, congraaaaaaaaats !!! You got your girl :D How wonderful, the best of both worlds...a boy and a girl, what a treat after all you have been through !! Bestest news eeeeeeeeeek :hugs: :love:
So darn exciting :)

Thanks ladies you all are the best!!! Hopper - it is weird seeing "female" on the report! I have felt this whole time that there was at least one girl in there (until yesterday when I really freaked out that it would be two boys), but it's strange knowing now that there really is! TP I feel good about it! I was *hoping* for 2 girls - I'll admit it - but I'm excited now about 1 of each. I think it'll be fun for my DS2 to experience having a younger brother. And like Verena said it will be very interesting to see what he's like because my current two boys are very different from each other (both in looks & personality!). So as long as I'm getting my girl, another boy will be a happy and welcome bonus :)

Hopper - I am SO sorry for all that negativity!!! What the heck?!! You're definitely in the right place here to vent as most of us have experienced some degree of awful reactions/comments from relatives! It honestly makes no sense to me! What happened to the "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" rule?! Like you said though I'm sure your boys will love the news that they're getting another sibling. My oldest is SO excited about our pregnancy and talks about it all the time. And that's what matters most - it will be such a happy joyous thing for you and your immediate family!!