Originally Posted by
ABC.2606
Thank you, Pbn, emshe, Verena - I've tried this past week to stay away from this website because I think it will cause me more pain but then I realize you ladies are about the only ones in my life who can actually understand my pain - through your own experiences with loss, gender disappointment, etc. In real life, I feel completely alone - no one close to me has any clue what I'm going through. I've felt a little better the past day and a half but still have a lot of moments during the day where I become horribly sad. I'm dealing with it in some healthy, some unhealthy ways. I really have low expectations for my appointment on Monday. I feel like this is all happening b/c of underlying autoimmune issues I have (which I had before I conceived my two boys - but maybe the issues are worse now, I don't know). Anyways - will try to follow and keep up with this board again. I've watched SO many ladies here on the TWW board go on to conceive their rainbow babies - often the gender they desire as well. It makes me happy, and to some extent gives me hope for my own situation. I think I fear that I will just be the only one forever destined to be on the TWW and never to have a rainbow baby. Yea, I'm throwing myself lots of internal pity parties lately :)
FX for all of you - emshe, looks like you're now in the TWW.. GL!!!! :) :) Verena - You will get that little bean back. Pbn, hearing about your little Mara being born is still one of my happiest moments of my year so far! :heart: