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My IVF son was my biggest baby and came late contrary to what you may read about IVF. He has done everything earlier than is typical and is very healthy. He is no different than my other kids.Quote:
Originally Posted by ukini
More IVF babies are multiples and I am not sure what studies take that into account. Obviously, multiple pregnancies carry a higher risk.
This isn't a donor or adoption situation. How many parents tell their children the story of how the child was conceived? It was scarring enough to know my parents had a year of infertility and were "having a ton of sex" to try to conceive me. In my opinion, I think that was totally inappropriate for my parents to tell me the details they did. They did not tell me in the context of a conversation where I was struggling with fertility or asking them how I was born. My mom basically just busted out with the story. I still get grossed out thinking about that conversation and try to block the visuals.
I don't plan on giving the details of how/when my sons were conceived (even though they aren't HT) and even if I did high tech, I think we would only talk about it if they had questions about it. I'm all for being honest with children because I like honesty between children and parents, but my sons don't need to know the dirty details of everything. This is just for me and my kids.
Do whatever you feel you need to do that is appropriate for telling your son one day.
I don't know how seriously you are considering terminating your pregnancy, but I don't know why after all of the medication, money, and procedures you went through to conceive why you would want to terminate now. It is very normal to have feelings of panic, but at some point, the feelings have to change so you can focus on having a healthy pregnancy and look to the future.
In terms of the whether you tell a child that they were HT or not, the way i see it is either.... 1, you don't tell them (no big deal) or 2, you tell them and carefully explain it was because of how much they were desperately wanted. And not because their sibling/s weren't wanted as much but because you had one final chance of completing your family. I think that would be a wonderful thing to hear and wouldn't make the child hate you or feel abnormal.
Im sure these feelings of panic will pass... they kinda have to at this stage.
I am also thinking to talk to counselor on this but I don't think they can help
can anyone share there experiences when they knew they were bfp after ivf
What is the thing that is scaring you the most? That the baby will be unhealthy? Have you talked about this with your IVF doctor?
I hope these are sincere posts looking for help, not trolling or you have already made up your mind, but you want someone to validate you wanting an abortion. There are message boards where you can find support for termination, but this board is definitely not one of those boards. They're very supportive of basically anything else. It is not because everyone here is anti-abortion, but because there are multiple women here that have struggled with debilitating infertility, have struggled for years to balance a family, have diseases that prevent them from carrying a healthy pregnancy, etc.
No I am serious not trolling, we have not yet made our mind, our most important concern is the health of the child. I don't know the answer to what happens after 30 years if the child develops some bad disease and it traces back to IVF how will we be able to justify that. Although that is very improbable but it might happen we won't be able to forgive ourselves then.
I wish I had been member of this forum before I started the process darn!! :( all the posts are so comforting and supportive.
But you can forgive yourself now if you choose to kill a healthy baby now just in case he has an issue 30 years from now- that IS okay?? That makes sense?
None of this is making sense. Any child can have issues. You have to know that on some level.
And you're worried about whether or not to tell him he was conceived via IVF? How about the discussion about the debate to terminate his life because you thought he might be *might be* messed up because of IVF. That's one for the baby book!