Struggling with pigeon pair families.. still

my perfect family was 2 little boys. something went wrong along the way. i had awful gender disappointment it hit me hardest when i had my 5th daughter. who has 5 girls? it was my turn to have a boy. so at 20 week they said girl and i cried and cried and pouted and wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy anymore. 2 weeks later i went into labor. my daughter was born alive. she weighed just 15oz. her eyes were still fused, she was so tiny. 3 doctors were in the room and they left saying, "im sorry, she's isn't considered viable until 25 weeks." i screamed at them to save her. she fought for two hours in my arms and finally passed away.
the point is while i was so disappointed in having another girl. i would give up a million boys to have her back. so yes this time i can't help but hope for a boy but as long as i get a healthy fullterm baby girl, im just as happy.

((Hugs)) girlmom. And FX for a H&H rest of your pregnancy!

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Originally Posted by begonia

I figured out over Christmas what it is for me that is hard with the PP ... I'm happy enough not to have one, BUT ... I never, ever got to experience hearing that I was getting my desired gender. At least people with a PP get that experience one time, KWIM? Whether they want a boy or a girl (because everyone has a preference, no matter how slight) at least ONCE they get to walk out of the ultrasound/birth with a feeling of joy. I've never felt that. I've left every time trying to rationalize why having girls (1,2, and 3) is great ... not that it isn't, I adore them, but it was never what I wanted, so I've never gotten to have the feeling of joy that must come from getting what you prefer.

So that's what I envy about PP parents. At least once, for each of them, they got what they wanted. I wanted that experience so badly and will never have it.

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I totally understand this, I think this all the time. My best friend just had a little girl, her first baby. Although she was sensitive enough to my feelings not to go on about it, I know she wanted a girl. Since her delivery I have often wondered what it must be like to have the midwife say 'it's a girl!' and how that must feel. I have never experienced it. Just as you say, I end up having to almost talk myself round with what is good about having another boy. It must be nice to just be elated, and not have to 'work' on your feelings for months and months.

I recently went to my twin sisters sons birthday (5 years old twins) and there were lots of mums with pigeon pair kiddies. They were all so snotty I actually commented on this to my hubby. It was like they were all so much better than me as they had a girl and a boy so they didn't need or want to bother with someone who only had boys. The only really nice lady was a girl with 2 sons. My sister went on to have a girl 5 weeks before my second boy. She just had her first birthday yesterday. I knew that as she got older it would be harder for me to handle being around her. She is a very quiet girl and everyone was raving about how calm and wonderful she is while my little boy is already a bit of a handful and very active. Her husband is such a prick to me, always rubbing it in my face because 'they' got the girl and we didn't. I hate seeing him as he always says something about how its so wonderful they got the little girl and isn't she so lovely. Then to top if off I went around to my sisters today and she said isn't your boy so active, he must be your worst nightmare! I see her so much as they live just around the road from me but I am really feeling like I just can't see them as much anymore. Feel so depressed and hope one day I can join the club of having a mixed gender family as well. So at the moment I hate being around people who have had boys and then got a girl for their last especially if they don't even understand how wonderful it would be for me to have a little girl and say hurtful comments without even thinking about what they are saying.

Jude17 I really hope you get your girl too :)

I am so sorry that you ladies (and myself) have to feel this way! Why do PP moms have to treat moms of one gender likethey are lesser of a producer of children. I hate snots like that.

I secretly root for people to have opposite of what they want sometimes...not always. Just when I'm jealous. lol.

And I don't think having only a PP is what it's cracked up to be. I would be so sad to only have 2 kids. :(

the one with the damn monkeys...

Indeed, and me and my Dutch friends have moved over here! No problems yet....
Thanks btw. I'm 20 weeks now and thursday I'm having my 20 weeks scan, so I will know the gender in 2 days.... I'm soooooooooooo nervous!

Sometimes I feel like I don't count because I have children of the same gender. I feel like people think I'm pitiful because I don't have both. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the way I feel sometimes.

I don't envy them....I pity them!! They have no idea what they are missing out on. The love and friendship between same sex siblings in just amazing. I would take my 5 girls over only having one of each any day!!

Oh and I know a lady who tells me she is "clever" because she got a boy then a girl and can be done!!