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I had a first degree tear with my first (he was a tiny 6lb 12oz)
I had a second degree tear with my second despite doing everything to prevent one - giving birth in water, on my knees, not pushing and letting each contraction edge him out. On the plus side I didn't feel it happen because we'd taken it so slow. Apparently I couldn't have done more, he just had a massive head!
I had second degree tear and grazing with no.1, no stitches, all healed nicely. No.2 was a first degre tear, think the water birth helped :D
ugh, I forgot about all of this stuff. I think episiotomy or tearing was my biggest fear with each. My first was a c-section. ds # 2 I had a small tear off to the side one or two stitches. DS #3 no tear no epis and he was my biggest baby 9#8oz. I am a small person so that in itself was amazing. I credit the dr. for no tearing. Hemorroids ended up causing me the biggest pain and discomfort after birth!!