Not finding out the gender?

Im not finding out this time because its my last and ive never experienced the whole its a boy, its a girl thing. I found out with both boys and never had GD with DS1 but had it terrible with DS2. I feel so bad about it, I love him so much and Im hoping that makes me realise how in the scale of things gender is not the bee all and end all iykwim? I don't want to go through my whole pregnancy disappointed and crying again, I just want to enjoy it and find out in my own time after the birth what im having. The only time I may find out is if I get a good nub shot at my 12 week scan and it looks girly as I would hate to go the whole pregnancy thinking it was a girl when infact its a boy, then I think I would be disappointed.

with DS2, I did know the gender but my dr announced it as he was coming out. I had a section and he came out peeing (all over the dr) and he shouted 'yup, its definitely a boy lol' xxx

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Originally Posted by ELP

We only found out with the last 2:) The 1st of these pregnancies We felt almost awkward talking about the baby as if despite him being our dg something excitement? was missing. This 2nd time has been easier as I find my head is more focused on the family and not gender obsessing and theres no awkwardness this time:)

The rest of the times have been delivery room:) and on occasions when it has not been my dg I have held lo and just had a quiet whisper to them saying 'well you may not have been the exact one I was hoping for but your perfect and your mine and just wait til you meet your family!':bigsmile: and just let the dissappointment go there:)

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awww I love what you whisper to them :)
how many do you have?

I tossed up being team green for our third child...I now realise this was because of partial denial and a coping mechanism.

I ended up finding out I was having a third girl at the gender scan. I was hysterical after I found out and it is now around two weeks later that I am starting to feel ok. Thank god I did not find out in the delivery room as I probably would have pushed the baby away and been a prime candidate for post natal depression.

I now have time to prepare and acknowledge while I don't have my son, I am having another beautiful daughter. I needed time to get to this perspective though.

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Originally Posted by rainbowflower

awww I love what you whisper to them :)
how many do you have?

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Soon to be 10:oops::HH:

I would like to share my experience, since we're a bit abnormal and have chosen to never learn the gender of any of our children. This was a decision we made long ago as a couple, before we even got married. Of course when my first son was born, we were elated that he was a boy. His delivery was quite complicated though, and traumatizing as well. After his birth I wasn't sure I wanted any more children. We did try again and I hoped for a girl the whole pregnancy. I wanted my boy and girl like everyone gets. My water broke at 36 weeks, and I had to be given Pitocin to start contractions. My best friend called in an order of flowers for me, which happened to be inside of a pink elephant toy that is supposed to be for the baby to have later. She later said that she didn't specify pink or blue, but they just picked pink. I thought for sure this was a sign that I would have a girl. Labor was very easy and not too long or short. The delivery was so peaceful. I didn't need any stitches. But when I looked between his legs I was quite sad. I held him and our nurse took photos with my camera. I tried to remember what we'd decided to name a boy. He didn't look a thing like my first son. After a while he started to fuss, and I felt so tired and sad. I handed him to my husband and pulled the blanket over my head. I didn't want anything to do with him. I thought about giving him up for adoption. It sounds horrible to think about now, but I had a good nap, and a few hours later I woke up in a panic, wondering where my new baby was because he needed to eat. I was relieved to find him in his bassinet next to my bed. He looked adorable and tiny. He was a pound smaller than my first. From then on I was in love. Those first moments were rough, but I don't regret anything. My whole pregnancy was wonderful--no gender disappointment to deal with. I certainly wouldn't change it. I believe pregnancy should be a joyful time, not stressful and sad. I couldn't imagine trying to go through that sadness during pregnancy, and not being able to hold my little boy and see the tiny human being he is. Yes, I did have a moment of sadness in the delivery room, but it was just a moment, and it is gone, and now we're happy.

Everyone is different of course. Someone else might have developed PPD and been in a depression for months. This was just my experience.

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Originally Posted by crazyladyneedsababy

Im not finding out this time because its my last and ive never experienced the whole its a boy, its a girl thing. I found out with both boys and never had GD with DS1 but had it terrible with DS2. I feel so bad about it, I love him so much and Im hoping that makes me realise how in the scale of things gender is not the bee all and end all iykwim? I don't want to go through my whole pregnancy disappointed and crying again, I just want to enjoy it and find out in my own time after the birth what im having. The only time I may find out is if I get a good nub shot at my 12 week scan and it looks girly as I would hate to go the whole pregnancy thinking it was a girl when infact its a boy, then I think I would be disappointed.

with DS2, I did know the gender but my dr announced it as he was coming out. I had a section and he came out peeing (all over the dr) and he shouted 'yup, its definitely a boy lol' xxx

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I think nub guesses at 12 weeks may help influence my choice too

I found way in advance with each of my 3 boys. To me is not only about avoiding GD but also bonding. Every single time I went out the next day and bought the most gorgeous little boy outfit when I found out. Would really love to buy a tutu this time. :)

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Originally Posted by aidansmum

I found way in advance with each of my 3 boys. To me is not only about avoiding GD but also bonding. Every single time I went out the next day and bought the most gorgeous little boy outfit when I found out. Would really love to buy a tutu this time. :)

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that's sweet! I've already bought a girl item and a boy item for the next one to put in the "hospital bag" :)

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Originally Posted by crazyladyneedsababy

Im not finding out this time because its my last and ive never experienced the whole its a boy, its a girl thing. I found out with both boys and never had GD with DS1 but had it terrible with DS2. I feel so bad about it, I love him so much and Im hoping that makes me realise how in the scale of things gender is not the bee all and end all iykwim? I don't want to go through my whole pregnancy disappointed and crying again, I just want to enjoy it and find out in my own time after the birth what im having. The only time I may find out is if I get a good nub shot at my 12 week scan and it looks girly as I would hate to go the whole pregnancy thinking it was a girl when infact its a boy, then I think I would be disappointed.

with DS2, I did know the gender but my dr announced it as he was coming out. I had a section and he came out peeing (all over the dr) and he shouted 'yup, its definitely a boy lol' xxx

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Same here. Ezra peed all over my OB! Glad though, she deserved it.

I'm not finding out this time.
I'm going to try not to allow myself to think of a particular gender. Even though it will probably be a boy.
I had slight gd with Ezra, and still do in a way but he is the love of my life. I have amazing boys.
If next is a boy, I'm sure gd will set in a little but again. But way back in my head.
To me you go in 50/50, never a guarantee so you chose to get pregnant and can't complain too much. Also I might avoid any ultrasounds if possible. I want the excitement at birth.
I'm lucky I can have kids, when so many out there cannot. I'm not going to get over caught up in gender. Each are such a blessing.