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Rereading this I wanted to mention that in some parts of the US we bandy the word "hate" about a bit more freely than perhaps other regions - it's not weird or strange to tell your friend "Oh I hate you so much" and it's a joke, and then we say things like "I hate them, etc" when it's jealousy or dislike, but it's meant more lightly than it means in some areas.
I agree that it's a strong word definitely, but just wondering if it may be a colloquialism more than an actual feeling.
That's exactly what I tried to say earlier in this thread. My version of hate isn't what people think it is. I say the word a lot and perhaps the meaning of it has lost its power for me. I don't feel like I even really know what hate means to me and perhaps that's because I don't hate but rather have other emotions that I call hate. On that note, I regularly say "I hate cold coffee, I hate winter blah, blah". My feelings about mixed gender moms fall into that category! I am not a hateful person.
My Mum and Dad adopted me then had Sis then Bro naturally. SHe is so blissfully unaware, I just can not talk to her at all about my desire for a daughter because she can not begin to understand and says things like but you have beautiful boys, which is true but like I said, she just does not get itQuote:
Originally Posted by trifecta
My mom doesn't get it either. She is always says " you have two beautiful healthy boys be grateful" and " be glad you don't have the drama of teenage girls to deal with". Those comments just don't help!
I also have a brother and sister and if anybody is glad I have two boys it's my brother. He is close with them and I think it's bc he missed that brother bond. It's brought him and I closer too and I am grateful for that
I dont have kids yet but reading your posts I can so imagine feeling how you do were I in your shoes. I also have very extreme feelings & opinions and abuse the word hate. Even though I can't possibly understand your situation fully I really empathize with you. And I really hope you have your girl in there. Big hugs!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2boysJustOneGirl
My Brother is so good with my boys and it is so lovely to see. He was the only boy out of 9 grand daughters (youngest too so much anticipated) and all the family friends were girls pretty much. He grew up surrounded by girls and is now really great with Women. When I was pregnant with DS1 he said "It better be a boy in there so I can teach him rugby." Well now he has three nephews but he will be fighting with my DP who is European because he will want to do football :)
Grr, something annoyed me that my Mum said not so long ago. Some close family friends son was due with baby number three. They have two girls and the baby was a boy. My Mum was delighted for them. "Oh it is so nice for _____ to get a boy!" How could she not see that in reverse for me, Can anyone actually admit that they would have been a bit less excited if it had been a third girl. It is like they play the caring about gender thing where it suits them. I am still debating whther or not to tell my parents about our HT plans. They want us having no more and know I just want another so I can have a girl. I think she will not understand but at least if it works I wont be trying for a 5th. She will def be our last
I think ppl don't have a clue when it comes to this and won't ever say the right thing because there is truly nothing to say! It is what it is. Some are lucky, others are not. And the lucky ones won't ever have the ability to get it let alone say the "right" thing.
OMG and facebook just updated me that ANOTHER two boy mom had a girl😭😭😭. I feel doomed.
Bugger. Remember it has nothing to do with you. Hard to be rational though I know. Or if you are all from the same area maybe there is something int he water making girls ;) When my twins were due in that same year 10 boys were born from other ladies at my Playcentre. So there can be big boy and girl spurts.
I quit FB not so long ago, maybe it will be forever. I only miss it a tiny bit. It is SOOOO liberating