Do women tend to prefer girls?

Then there is me and my DH. I only ever wanted boys, and my DH has wanted a DD every time. Every time we heard boy, I felt bad for feeling happy/excited while he was so upset. He wasn't as upset with DS1, because he was our first. He thought we'd have at least one girl somewhere. His GD was by far the worst with DS2. He didn't bond with him until he was 6mo [emoji20]. DS3 was the easiest, at least on outward appearance to me. It wasn't until two weeks ago when our DS2 had surgery, that I heard him tell the nurse when asked about our family that I learned he wanted a girl badly each time. I sure hope I've done enough for him this time around!

Good luck to you on your journey!



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]One Last Pink Sway[emoji166]
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Originally Posted by Greydore

I'm so sorry. I did not mean to offend anyone, just trying to explain how my parenting is looked at as odd where I live. I apologize.

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Absolutely no need to apologize, I realize you didn't even think about it.

sorry, computer freaking out and unable to quote, but re the external pressure, I get what you're saying but I feel there is a different flavor with a chunk of the blue swayers where they really ARE primarily motivated from external pressure, and with the pink swayers, they are primarily motivated from internal desires and then people's comments aggravate those desires. It's hard to put into words. I don't mean to say that the desires are any less, just that their origins may be different. There was this poor woman on IG whose user name was "I need a boy so I can prove to the world that I am not a bad girl." Heartbreaking. She was clearly in pain and hurting on a level of anyone's GD, but that it was possibly sourced differently. And of course many who think they need to carry down the family name, doing it for their husbands, and so on. Whereas pink swayers are very often told "YOU need a girl" as if you're not experiencing motherhood properly unless you've raised a daughter. Again, a very broad generalization and certainly not true down to every individual, just something that's seemed to be the case for enough people I took note of it. :)

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Originally Posted by Greydore

No, I totally get what you mean! Maybe I'm just overly sensitive, but I do get the vibe that girl moms think they have it better, that they feel bad that I got 'stuck' with two boys. Of course not every girl mom is this way, but I've heard plenty of offhand comments about having only boys to think that some really do- an acquaintance was pregnant with her second girl and said that she had a nightmare(!) that the baby turned out to be a boy. I don't hear these comments from people about having more girls, unless it's their 3rd, 4th, etc. One friend was ecstatic to have a girl. She went into her second oregnancy hoping for another girl but had a boy. He's 3 now and she constantly comments on how much she loves the mother-son bond she has with him. She wasn't expecting to enjoy him so much.

But seriously, most boys adore their mamas. Who wouldn't want that? :) In all fairness, my parents took a lot of crap for having four girls. It definitely goes both ways once you start having more than two, I think.

Edited to add: I feel like I got lucky with my husband also in that he never felt like he needed a boy. Ive had a lot of friends with disappointed husbands when they had girls :(

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I have found that many of the all-girl moms take abuse on a shocking level from friends/acquaintances. I would have punched people in the face if they said the stuff that some of the girl moms have said to them regularly! :P Especially the husbands. Some people have no shame. :(

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I have found that many of the all-girl moms take abuse on a shocking level from friends/acquaintances. I would have punched people in the face if they said the stuff that some of the girl moms have said to them regularly! :P Especially the husbands. Some people have no shame. :(

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Husbands can be awful. My best friend and I were pregnant at the same time. Her husband wanted a boy badly. When they found out it was a girl, he made comments on how he hates women's sports and will hate going to his daughter's sporting events. He told me in private that I 'took his boy' because I already had one. I feel so bad for women that have to deal with that from their husbands.

Well I have multiple reasons. For me, I have this huge fear that once grown and married, my boys will have nothing to do with me. I am one of 4 children. 2 boys and 2 girls and both my brothers only really are ever with their wives family. They couldn't care less about my parents. My sister and I visit my parents often and also see our in laws. We also have a total of 12 grandchildren between the 4 of us and there are only 2 girls. One is now 12 and the other is 19 months. I was pregnant with a girl also at the same time as my sister was with the 19 month old but she suddenly passed away at 14 weeks. I then went on to have my 4 the boy. I have been heartbroken ever since and feel such an emptiness without a daughter. I adore my boys and really am especially close with my oldest but I want to experience a daughter. Also, I'm so sick of feeling like my boys are chopped liver. I mean how everyone acts like girls are never allowed to date and they are so special, blah blah, but somehow it is strange if I value my boys just as much. Also, I'm sick of how it is somehow cute that my nieces can be "divas" and they pretty much run the show but if my boys act the same, there is no tolerance. Like it is cute from a female to be a bully. Ugh. Sorry, didn't mean to make it a ranting session....

I was in here swaying pink and I wouldn't say that I prefer girls at all. In fact, I would say the opposite. I grew up with a brother and wanted my parents to have another baby and I wanted the baby to be a boy. I have always been boy crazy. I am the kind of girl who had more guy friends and found most girls to be catty and annoying.

When I started thinking about having kids, I wanted two boys. That's all. I dreaded having a girl. I thought I would be the wrong kind of mother for a girl.

Only recently did I convince myself that I could raise a daughter properly. My mother and I are extremely close. She is my best friend and my favorite person. She is also sick with an incurable disease. I would absolutely love a relationship like that with a daughter. But, I know there is no guarantee. My daughter could end up hating me.

Also, I am into mystical things and I really felt like I had a female spirit coming to me. I was wrong. That is what is causing my GD. And that is what caused me to sway for a girl. My dreams, feelings, thoughts were all telling me that I would have a daughter.

I think I am a lot better off than some people are in this group and others. I think I can heal almost completely. Maybe a decade from now, or so. Lol!

Sent from my HTC6525LVW using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Shenanigans

Well I have multiple reasons. For me, I have this huge fear that once grown and married, my boys will have nothing to do with me. I am one of 4 children. 2 boys and 2 girls and both my brothers only really are ever with their wives family. They couldn't care less about my parents. My sister and I visit my parents often and also see our in laws. We also have a total of 12 grandchildren between the 4 of us and there are only 2 girls. One is now 12 and the other is 19 months. I was pregnant with a girl also at the same time as my sister was with the 19 month old but she suddenly passed away at 14 weeks. I then went on to have my 4 the boy. I have been heartbroken ever since and feel such an emptiness without a daughter. I adore my boys and really am especially close with my oldest but I want to experience a daughter. Also, I'm so sick of feeling like my boys are chopped liver. I mean how everyone acts like girls are never allowed to date and they are so special, blah blah, but somehow it is strange if I value my boys just as much. Also, I'm sick of how it is somehow cute that my nieces can be "divas" and they pretty much run the show but if my boys act the same, there is no tolerance. Like it is cute from a female to be a bully. Ugh. Sorry, didn't mean to make it a ranting session....

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I have those fears too, that my boys will grow up and I'll only hear from them once in awhile...the thought makes me want to cry! Thankfully I've seen some things that make me hopeful that my boys will stick close. My husband is very close with his mom. Before we met, they got together a few times per week. We still see her often. I'm an OB nurse now, but was a post operative nurse before that. I saw many men who were very concerned about their mothers, stuck by their side, etc.

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Originally Posted by Greydore

I have those fears too, that my boys will grow up and I'll only hear from them once in awhile...the thought makes me want to cry! Thankfully I've seen some things that make me hopeful that my boys will stick close. My husband is very close with his mom. Before we met, they got together a few times per week. We still see her often. I'm an OB nurse now, but was a post operative nurse before that. I saw many men who were very concerned about their mothers, stuck by their side, etc.

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My dad is one of three boys and they are close with my grandma. My dad won't move from their very small town until she passes to help take care of her. They are very close- to the point they can drive each other nuts at times, haha!



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920/thumb.png
My Ovulation Chart

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I have found that many of the all-girl moms take abuse on a shocking level from friends/acquaintances. I would have punched people in the face if they said the stuff that some of the girl moms have said to them regularly! :P Especially the husbands. Some people have no shame. :(

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Literally the day we came home from the hospital, my FIL insinuated to my DH that he was somehow less of a man for having a DD. My DH pointed out that he got me pregnant first try (and little did we know, seemingly anytime he breathed on me after that) whereas FIL/MIL took 6 years and mutiple rounds of failed IVF before surprisingly getting pregnant with DH. My DD wasn't even two days old and we were already getting comments on the sex... >:(

ETA: Not that anyone's struggles with infertility mean anything about your partner's manhood! It was just such a punch on top of my GD, especially considering all my FIL went through (and his weird sort of competitiveness with my DH...)