How many times ?

I only had full-blown GD with DS 3. With DS 4 I was actually ok with another boy but was very bummed to get pg without having a chance to sway the way I wanted to, and also very devastated to have come so close to having my lifelong dream of twins only to have it snatched away at the last minute. Then I had a high-risk pregnancy on top of it, horrible birth, and I am still struggling with negative feelings in general because I feel kinda cursed (I know logically that;s not true but it is how I feel) and also that I am a total f-up who fails at everythign I have ever tried (and I don't want to feel that way but logically I have to admit it is totally true. :/)

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Originally Posted by love being a mummy

Do you feel your family is now complete?

Every one has told I will know when I am done, and my family will feel complete.
I have never felt complete even when I had DD and DS. I always wanted another baby and now I have 5 kids I still feel the same way. I worry I will always want more children. It's a very strong emotion to deal with.

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I think this is not true and I know many gals both IRL and online who always wished for one more baby and never felt "done" even when they knew realistically, they should be (like ME!!! :p and me feeling not done has nothing to do with gender, either.)

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Originally Posted by love being a mummy

I am having another child because I want to. I am swaying boy cause I want another son and want my son to have a brother.
I will be a little bit dissapointed if it's a boy but I will be ok if it's a girl.

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You want a boy so why would you be disappointed if it's a boy?:suprise:

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I only had full-blown GD with DS 3. With DS 4 I was actually ok with another boy but was very bummed to get pg without having a chance to sway the way I wanted to, and also very devastated to have come so close to having my lifelong dream of twins only to have it snatched away at the last minute. Then I had a high-risk pregnancy on top of it, horrible birth, and I am still struggling with negative feelings in general because I feel kinda cursed (I know logically that;s not true but it is how I feel) and also that I am a total f-up who fails at everythign I have ever tried (and I don't want to feel that way but logically I have to admit it is totally true. :/)

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wow i feel the same Im freaking cursed for sure it's like some one don't want us to have a boy ! And yeah i fail at things to :(

Atomic - I know you weren't saying that for a pep talk but the research and energy you've put in to this site are a very good example of why you don't f-up everything. I was thinking this only this week, how strange it is that if I get a girl I pretty much have a woman I've never met who lives thousands of miles away to thank - and even if I don't, I can still rest easy that I did all I could because based on what I've read from you I wouldn't do anything different if I had my chance over again. I am very grateful to you for that :D

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Originally Posted by love being a mummy

How many times have you had gender disappointment.
Whether you were swaying or not, how many times did you have the opposite gender of what you wanted?

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I wanted boys every time, so technically, I'd say I had it 3 times. But with DD1 it really wasn't what I'd call GD, it was more something I pretty much laughed about; "of COURSE it's a girl, LOL ... I said I wanted boys." And that was it. From the moment I saw her sweet face and every single day for the last nearly 6 years I wouldn't change a thing about her.

DD2 I had it mildly in comparison to now. I really thought she was a boy. Pregnancy was 100% different. And I grew up pigeon pair and so did DH, so for us, it just seemed like the natural order ... one of each. Shocked when we heard girl, and definitely disappointed. Got over it long before her birth though and was excited for DD1 to have a sister.

DD3 I will meet in oh, 4 months or so ... the GD is extremely bad now. Never ever EVER would have thought I'd be as bad as I am with it, but it's bad. Bless DH's sweet heart for putting up with the things I have said about this baby these past few weeks; I don't know how he tolerates me sometimes but thank heavens he's allowed me to be honest with how I feel. It sucks because normally I love being pregnant; it's such a tremendous gift and the last 2 times I just loved it to bits and couldn't wait to do it again ... but the GD is definitely robbing me of the joy of pregnancy and I hate that. This is my last pregnancy and I really, really hope I can get to a place where I enjoy part of it... the 1st tri I was obsessing over what it was, then of course found out and am depressed ... so maybe, just maybe by 3rd tri I can have some fun with it. FX.

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Originally Posted by Flava

wow i feel the same Im freaking cursed for sure it's like some one don't want us to have a boy ! And yeah i fail at things to :(

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I feel cursed too! But only in this. I've said it before on here but this is the first thing in life I've ever really wanted that I haven't gotten ... and I don't mean that in a spoiled way, I mean that I'm used to being able to work/train/study for a goal and meet it. This?!? This I can't make happen, and I am SURE that is part of why it drives me mad. And what with the perception that boys are "given" to dominant people (and TW supports this, aside from the whole maternal dominance hypoth) it drives me NUTS that I am somehow not "good enough" to have a son.

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Originally Posted by zanacal

Atomic - I know you weren't saying that for a pep talk but the research and energy you've put in to this site are a very good example of why you don't f-up everything. I was thinking this only this week, how strange it is that if I get a girl I pretty much have a woman I've never met who lives thousands of miles away to thank - and even if I don't, I can still rest easy that I did all I could because based on what I've read from you I wouldn't do anything different if I had my chance over again. I am very grateful to you for that :D

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I wholeheartedly agree. Well said Zan.

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Originally Posted by love being a mummy

:( hugs

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Thank you lbam xx

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I think this is not true and I know many gals both IRL and online who always wished for one more baby and never felt "done" even when they knew realistically, they should be (like ME!!! :p and me feeling not done has nothing to do with gender, either.)

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Oh ITA with this ... I think SOME people feel done. I think others would keep having babies as long as they could. I'm struggling because I really, truly felt "done" the second I POAS for this baby and saw +. DH said the same. But now knowing it is a girl, both of us are thinking maybe we're not done. But I do WANT to be done. I never saw myself raising 4. But I also never saw myself without a son, so we'll see which of those wins ...