Ladies due in Sept/Oct/Nov 2012, gather here!

Only just caught up on things...Auroara, sorry about your FIL's stroke. Has the weakness on his right side completely gone now? A lot of people recover from their initial symptoms if it has not been too severe, and then the main thing is trying to prevent another one. Here, they would normally start people on cholesterol reducing medication, and often daily low dose aspirin (much like some sways!). Cleaning out the artery (carotid endarterectomy) is often done when both sides are severely occluded. One of the side effects of a stroke is that your emotions get haywire, which could explain him being overly emotional with your DH. It is nice though that he has reached out to him at such a stressful time. I hope it is the kick in the butt that your FIL needs to change some of his ways, and that he stays healthy.

Very excited for your upcoming scan! You know I think you are having a girl, but I cant wait for you to finally have the scan.

Hi ladies


Aurora ~ sorry to hear about your FIL, very exciting that your scan is coming up.

I been so busy recently not had much time to get on here, we are doing our garden so busy little bee's we are.

Im finding this pregnancy different from my boys in a few ways, im getting like period pains on most days, my boobs are so sore (i have big boobs anyway like a J cup but im already busting out off them), my sex drive has gone through the roof and i now have no sickness. I also dont crave lemons like all my boy pregnancies. I know all pregnancies are different no matter the gender but all my boys were the same but this one does feel a little different, i do hope its my girl.

HappyLea, I hope it's your girl too. It is impossible not to analyse the different symptoms. Those are some decent boobs you've got going there! I have only gone from a B to a C! I hear you about being busy...in fact I think that is why I am on here, I am stalling. We are moving house in a few weeks and my list of things to do is very long. Groan.

Oh Peony i bet your really busy with moving, take it easy tho. Im having a day off the work in the garden today as DH is working but off for the next 3 days so we will start the decking tomorrow...just cant wait till its done so we can enjoy it :)

2 older boys just gone on a walk with nanny and DS3 is munching on a white choc chip cookie, damn it looks so yummy!!!

Im really bad and totally cannot stop analysing my symptoms.

Happy Lea, I really do hope this is your girl...what a beautiful finish to such a gorgeous family!

My FIL is out of the hopsital and on his own. He doesn't have any more symptoms; his right side has returned, he's just really worried about his future stilll. He's on baby aspirin and blood pressure medicine and some other stuff.

DH is mad at me for making an off hand comment about how much time he spent at the hospital last week with his Dad. I dont think my DH is taking being a stay at home dad well; i think he feels very isolated because he's very emotional and staring to get depressed. He's good to the kids of course, keeps them well, but I don't know if this was the right move for his emotional health. I am just so confused right now about so many things.

aurora- hope your FIL is ok now.
happy- must be nice having a deck !

Where is purple?? She must had a 12 weeks scan now she is like 14 weeks ! I wanted to see pics.

Ok I am back.... DH had his surgery 2wks ago and has finally been cleared for light duty at work. He was very nervous to go back to work because he is not sure what he will be doing for the next 2-3mths. Also 2 women at his work are evil evil evil, they had a party a week after his surgery and didn't call him, But they have a party on the days he takes off for vacation and never when he is at work. I feel like I am taking care of 3 babies right now. I have to do almost everything for DH lately cutting meat and a lot of food prep help, washing his uninjured arm/back/armpits, and even getting him dressed. I can so handle 3 kids now!

I am 14wks today. Feeling some movement. M/S is only bad if I have to change a diaper after eating. Heartburn and gaging (to smells) is still bad. I have not gained any weight but I think I may have lost a few lbs. I am totally nesting like crazy my house is spotless but I am sure I can find something to do today. I haven't had any dreams at all..... Normally... I have m/s all the time for 4-9mths, heartburn only in the last tri, gaining 5-8lbs a mth from day one, no nesting ever so new to me, and dreams everytime I close my eyes.

....I am going to take a day and catch up on old postings!

Sorry Flava no 12wk scan.... insurance wont cover it and DH will only pay for one scan saving for 17wks!

auroara - I'm glad your FIL is out of the hospital. I'm sorry about your dh. It is definitely tough being a SAHP, and it's not for everyone. I think it's even more lonely for dads since there are fewer SAHDs for them to socialize with. There are some days I get really depressed and lonely - when days go past that I don't speak with anyone over the age of 6 - but for me this was still the best decision as childcare for 3 kids would have cost more than I would have made. Maybe it isn't the best decision for your dh, though?

purple- Im sorry about your DH but if those woman's are so bad they for sure he don't want to go to their partys anyway.

I thought you had a signature about the 12 weeks scan scheduled? To bad you have to wait.

Auroara, I agree with Mocha--stay at home parenting isn't for everyone. I am glad I can do it, but there are days I want to rip my hair out. I think it is probably harder on Dads. I can't even imagine my DH doing it. He'd lose his mind!

PP, glad you are back! Hope your DH continues to get better and you can relax a little.

I had a really weird experience today--probably TMI, but I thought I'd share it. I almost fainted while on the toilet! Is that crazy? I can't even figure out why it happened. I was just sitting there, doing my business, and I started seeing spots and got all faint feeling. I had to get up and lay down on the bed to make it go away! The only other times I have ever fainted were in the shower when it got too hot. Has anyone else had this happen??

I've fainted on the toilet before, but only when I was sick with the flu/fever. Once luckily dh heard me moaning and came in a caught me before I fell and hit my head on the bath. I hope you're ok. Are you feeling fine now that you rested?

finanically it is the only decision we can DO with having 3 kids soon. I guess we'll have to figure something else out for him, to help keep him going....

I'm going to feel very bad for saying this, but I am so tired of hearing about his Dad and all that. The man wasn't ever there for my husband. I understand he's still his Dad and that wont change and I shoudl be proud of my husband for being so supporitve of his Dad when sick, but instead I am just emotioanl and tired of the conversation about his Dad. Blah. I feel so bad for typing that, but it felt good getitng it off my chest....

On another totally diff note, I am thinkin of asking to get my ultrasound appt moved to this Fri instead of Mon, tho last time I had a scan done at 18 weeks, the US lady there bitched me out for coming in too early, but how is 18+5 that much different than 19+1?? I don't even know if my dr schedules appt. on Friday....guess I'll call and find out, because I think waiting the entire weekdn to find out is gonna drive me nuts, esp. since my hubby is mad that i"ve been playing this old online game and I won't have that this weekend to keep my mind off my upcoming scan.

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Originally Posted by Flava

purple- Im sorry about your DH but if those woman's are so bad they for sure he don't want to go to their partys anyway.

I thought you had a signature about the 12 weeks scan scheduled? To bad you have to wait.

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He knows better then to eat their food. He got sick once after eating a cupcake. But he hates them because they are so bossy and controlling. He almost showed up to the last party just to piss them off but we had to go on vacation that weekend for Easter. He is not looking forward to the comments they will have for him since he can't use his right arm in anyway. I would so show up and go hormonal on them if they say anything about/to him because he is hurt.

I was going to do a 12wk and 15-16wk scans but DH didn't want to pay $100 so we made a deal for just the one scan before his birthday. So I will call and set a time with them soon maybe around May 7 to 11. Planning how I am going to tell MIL what we are having. Thinking of not telling anyone until it's born... I have a green onies (says "I'll just ask Grandma" in purple with flowers) I was going to put on the baby if a girl. So MIL sees green at first and thinks another boy until she takes a better look. I don't know if I would be able to hold out that long if it was a girl because I would be on cloud 9.

How are you doing? Any feelings of what it is? Are you getting a 12wk scan?

I have had that happen before but that was years ago, I think for me it was a result of my blood sugar getitng too low and making me feel faint. I hope everything is better now, Hobber?

And I am so glad to see you back too PP!

Not sure what is going on with all this old post I missed but I hope everyone is ok!

I am to lazy to go back and read right now!

aurora- DH is the only child or why he had to take care of everything? And don't feel bad saying things like this you are right.
My FIL and also MIL is all over SIL and her DP and their twin boys and don't care much about DH or my kids and least me.
So yeah for sure I wouldn't want DH to do everything for them i think their is their beloved daughter and her DP to do so.
I think it's only fair.
Oh my DH would be in trouble if he don't let me play my online game if I want to LOL.
And 18 weeks is not early for a u/s !

purple- I think you said you guys will move ? So hopefully he don't have to put up with this woman's much longer.
I wish you would have a scan!
I have no feeling what is the baby I don't care at all (sounds bad) but I had such a strong feeling I don't want more baby's ect it's really bad...
I will have a 12 weeks scan but I also can care less about that.:(

welcome back pp20!

Flava - are you OK? you sound very down..

I can't help it it's not my fault I just can't! Im thinking must be hormones because what else? And I feel everyone is judging me because of this. Maybe I should never had posted about it.
i never feelt like this with the other pregnancys and i had a lot!

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Originally Posted by Flava

purple- I think you said you guys will move ? So hopefully he don't have to put up with this woman's much longer.
I wish you would have a scan!
I have no feeling what is the baby I don't care at all (sounds bad) but I had such a strong feeling I don't want more baby's ect it's really bad...
I will have a 12 weeks scan but I also can care less about that.:(

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DH was offered a job a few mths ago but he was nervous because he heard rumors of budget cuts so he turned it down. Just recently they layed off several people who worked in the same field he applied for. He has had 5 interviews in the last 2wks and all are in his current field of work and also not in a public fund so the chances of being layed of are not possible. Since he is a City empolyee it is best to stay away from his old job because it is payed with public (taxes) funds. He is currently in a utility job so he is paid with private fund. He wants to stay in AZ so he can still retire at 54 but one of the jobs he interviewed for is close to his parents but he would have to wait until 65 to retire.


I was the same as you where I stopped caring for awhile but now I really can't wait to find out. I will need the next 20 wks to prepare myself.

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Originally Posted by Flava

I can't help it it's not my fault I just can't! Im thinking must be hormones because what else? And I feel everyone is judging me because of this. Maybe I should never had posted about it.
i never feelt like this with the other pregnancys and i had a lot!

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I was very moody and hormonal with my boys. It was hard to deal with it with DS2 because once I knew boy I was worse. I understand you may have it worse with 4 girls already but at least they are all there for you. You don't need anyone else in this world!

Oh Flava, hun - no one's judging you - we're just worried about you! I really think you should talk to your midwife (or maybe your doctor since your midwife is being so useless about your m/s) about your feelings. Depression during pregnancy is a real, treatable, thing. Hopefully what you're going through is just due to hormones (and maybe due to this being a boy so different from all your other pregnancies :luck:), but if it's something that's not going to get better soon on its own I'd like to see you get help so you don't feel so hopeless.

Never worry about sharing your feelings here - we're not here to judge - we're just here to watch over and care for each other when it feels like the rest of the world doesn't understand what we're going through.

Im just hopping when the m/s and the tummy burning is better I also will feel better. It's a lot easier to wait if we are not sick.
I ONLY have a midwife no doctor. It's a birth center and everything I need what they can't do there like u/s or if I need to see a doc,they send me to a place they work together with.
The u/s place is the same I went to when I was pregnant with DD3 and 4 and saw a doc. not a midwife. lol

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

I've fainted on the toilet before, but only when I was sick with the flu/fever. Once luckily dh heard me moaning and came in a caught me before I fell and hit my head on the bath. I hope you're ok. Are you feeling fine now that you rested?

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Yeah, totally fine! Weird! I am having tummy pains a little, like I might get diahrea, so maybe I am coming down with a flu thing? I have to take DD2 for her 2 yr appointment in about a half hour, so I might ask our family Dr. if he thinks I should be concerned about the fainting thing.

Flava - as Mocha says, noone is judging you.. just worried! perhaps it's hormones/sickness making you feel more sensitive, but it could also be the start of antenatal depression so please do talk to your MW/doctor if you carry on feeling low

Flava, no judgement here, really. I went through that not giving a care hormonal mess too for a few weeks of this preg, and now that my DH is so depressed/sensitive/whatever I'm kinda regretting it again, esp. if I hear boy, I know I will be really upset at myself for pushing thru a preg. when things weren't the best, but when is it ever *ideal*?

Big, big hugs and Flava I really believe this will resolve itself soon, hormones do play a big part in it.

Flava, apparently a problem adding to DH's depression is that once the kids are settled into activities, I hop onto my online game and play and he just sits there, lonely. I have asked him to join me on this game (we actucally MET playing this same game years ago) but he hates the game now and won't paly with me and says i'm ignoring him, etc etc. But I need some kind of outlet too...I tried just coming home from work, watching TV with him and taking care of the kids but i got very ZZZZZ....playing the game for a lil bit or just even knowing it's "there" makes me feel like i got a lot going on and makes me feel like I have options of other things to do besides just kid stuff all the time. (God now I really sound bad....)

He says he can't handle me palying it. I just started playing it agin at the end of Feb and it just makes things more relaxing for me, though I have to admit, i haven't been as good as a mom because my focus is on the game instead. I know he's right deep down, but this was exactly the kind of burying my head in the sand activity I needed before I found out what the baby is, hehe.

Hobbers, I woudl totally ask the DR while you're there just to get his/her opinion.

Maybe I'll jsut get crafy and start making things and aspire to be as good as Doula Mama one day at crafting!!!!

What game(s) are you all playing? I just play Angry Birds on my phone, but I can do it for hours! I think it is both stimulating and relaxing at the same time to play online games.....well, the ones like Angry Birds and the like....I have never played the warcraft ones or whatever where it's a whole scenario, just the little brain games. My DH will play online poker (the free kind where you don't bet actual money, thank goodness) for hours too.

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Originally Posted by Flava

I ONLY have a midwife no doctor.

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Do you have a family doctor you could go to? Who do you go to for check-ups or ailments when you're not pregnant?

auroara - my dh is going through depression right now too, but for different reasons. Our financial situation isn't very good right now. We have enough money to live on - dh is a university professor and has a good income - but we're up to our eyeballs in debt and can't seem to make a dent in it no matter how much we try. We have no savings whatsoever, and can never buy things for ourselves or the house. I shouldn't complain because we have a nice house in a nice neighbourhood and my kids never want for anything, but I do get jealous when my friends with 2 incomes and 1-2 kids buy fancy TVs, go on big trips and get new appliances, while all of our appliances are at last 20 years old and we have an old hand me down tv that weighs about a ton and takes up half the living room (it's an old fashioned tube one).

Anyway, dh has been freaking out lately about money and making me feel REALLY guilty I pressured him for baby #4. Last night he was actually sobbing in the middle of the night about it all. He's always been depressed about this or that, but this is the worst I've ever seen him. Honestly, it brings me down and stresses me out.

I think im also freaking out about 5 kids ! I don't know anyone with 5 kids and really I never wanted a bunch of kids.
Also things are so hard doing all alone all the time.

aurora- i still don't think it's fair to make you feel bad about the game just because DH don't like it anymore. He was playing it to and not it's like hey I don't do it anymore so you stop too.
I was fishing on my game all afternoon yesterday lol it's relaxing really.
We also have no money that's the other thing ! No vacations no fun parks , no nothing.I feel guilty that my kids don't go to Disney ect. when other with 1 or 2 kids always go places and buy things.

Oh Mocha, I am sorry, that must be really hard for you to see him go through. I was just pm'ing with Aurora about our SAHD DHs and how bummy they are about it. I know it won't make things better, but just know that I think 90% of America is going through the debt crisis right now also. I know we are in the same boat.....just love making giant payments each month instead of putting it in a retirement account, and I know I'll be doing it for YEARS so there is no respite. You did make me laugh about the big old tv, we have one of those also, a rear-projection one. I just try to distance myself from the "keeping up with the joneses" mentality as much as I can because I know we can't, for one, and I also know it's not healthy. No one needs that much crap, we just think we do. I am sure you know what I mean, even though I still get those pangs too no matter how much I tell myself that we don't need anything. We just live in such a consumer society. But I hope your DH starts to feel better, that is so hard. I have been the one doing that in my house lately, to the point where some nights I have to take sleep meds to just go to sleep. It's hard stressing about money, the hardest thing there is in families and marriages sometimes. But I hope he can find a way to lift his spirits and move out of the funk and focus on all of the good things you guys have going on. xxoo

Flava, I agree, play your games if you can't afford to do other stuff. I have been there! All I could afford to do was take walks with #1 when she was a newborn and sit around the house. You'll be ok with 5....there are lots of moms here with more than 4.....maybe you guys could start a "lots of love" thread or something?

Thanks, Lola. The problem is I usually just resent him for the way he acts. He's been depressed pretty much since I met him, and though I keep trying to get him to get help, he refuses. It puts a LOT of stress on our relationship, and to be honest, I lost my patience with it a long time ago. It's hard to help someone who doesn't help themselves. He just internalises everything and shuts himself off from the family, so I'm left to do EVERYTHING and hold the rest of the family together. I'm stressed about money too, but life goes on. As I said, our kids don't want for anything, and eventually they'll all be in school and I can go back to work so we can pay off some of this debt.

I think that's a good idea about the thread....

Mocha, I'm sorry to hear about your DH and his sobbing must have been very upsetting. I can only imagine. I went thru that sobbing from DH, but this morning, as I was getting ready for work, he was crying to me about how I made him feel like sh** lately for trying to take care of his Dad...and all that other crap, blah. I know once he meets his new little baby, he'll be over the moon. You guys will make it work. I know you will, and it is a bit of a comfort knowing that I am not the only pregnant woman that has debt over her head and the feeling that maybe I pushed too hard.

Flava, I'm not sayin im going to quit playing for good, but i do think its better if i just put it aside for a bit and try to get this marriage train back on its tracks. I need to get DH and I back to a good spot.

So I got my scan rescheduled for this Friday. I'll only be 18+5 but they should be able to see everything. There was a free reasons for this: 1) I have decided I really want a weekend to process the news, boy or girl, just to have time to be alone with my family wtih it before having to be at work again. 2) Next Tues we have an accrediation visit here at my school and I have to in that "mind-frame" next week and taking off Monday was prob not going to work 3) I really, truly cannot wait any longer.

I *need* to just know already, so I can process what I need to process. This is so hard because I just want to hear girl already so I can get a sense that my family is complete but i know life does not always easily work like that.

I'm going to be praying hard for acceptance, patience, and love for this little bub.

Yeah, my DH has always been off / on depressed too. And lately I just shut the door on it.

I guess that's part of the problem too. I've lost my ability to emphaize or feel sympathy for his depression bouts.

Flava, what its' worth my sister has 5 kids, and when she was preggo with her 5th, she felt very sheepish about it and did tell me she felt all alone. Now her youngest is 7 and she is quite happy she had him. So I really do honestly believe in my heart that you were meant to be pregnant again, this pregnancy was meant to happen, and you don't see it now, but you will understand how important it was to go through. :heart:

How exciting, auroara - FRIDAY!!! What time is it? I need to seriously stalk you! I'll make sure to wear pink that day in your honour. I wore pink to my scan and I think it brought me luck! I also wore a necklace I bought when dh and I were first married - it's made by a woman named 'Sadie' and has a big tag hanging from it that has that name printed on it. As you know, that's the name we've chosen for our DD, so I had hoped it would bring me luck.

And it sounds like we're going through similar situations with our dh's. What makes it particularly bad with mine is he's a blamer - he always has been. If something goes wrong, he finds someone to blame other than himself. If he drops a plate and breaks it it's someone else's fault for leaving something on the floor he had to step around or something like that. When he's upset and sobbing about money, I know he's blaming me because that's just his way. I control the family's finances, and yes, it costs a lot of money to feed a family of 5. I don't make any extravagant purchases, but he always eyes me suspiciously when I come home with any bags. His attitude when I say we need XX amount for groceries is 'spend less', not acknowledging that I already read all the flyers and only buy things on sale, use coupons when I can, and spend a lot of time planning cheap (often meatless) meals to try to save money. In his eyes I am too loose with money and am ruining us all. Sigh.

OMG Mocha are we married to the same man???? :Rofl:

my hubby has always been a blamer too. Lately he's been depressed because I'm "ignoring him for my game." Yet if I wasn't playing the game, it would be something else that I did *to* him. Sigh. We actually do have some weeks/months that I am actually amazed by him and in love with him....then we have weeks/months when I'm like...why, oh why did I marry him again? What did i see good about him? Bleh. My DH is really weird about money too, though he stays at home, he still hasn't got a grapple on the fiances so i still pay the online bills and then I got to scold him or tell him what he can/can't buy at the grocery store.

Got the scan scheduled for 10 am, though i won't be updating prob until after lunch. The last time we had a scan for DS2 we went out to eat afterwards and talked it over, musing over names and just letting it sink in. I'm not sure how fast I'll come back to the computer, though I'll try to update as soon as I can!