Due March/April/May 2017 (2)

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I am due with my third baby boy on April 2 (I will have a third c-section so it will be sometime during week 39). I have been feeling so heartbroken and angry since finding out I am having another boy. I know that my husband does not want anymore children but honestly one of the only things getting me through right now is thinking about doing IVF with PGD for a daughter in a couple of years- even though I know it is too expensive for us and my husband will refuse. I also don't know much about it as I just learned about it this weekend through research online. I just feel like I need something to give me hope. Just goes to show how futile and relentless hope can be. I don't know why I can't just be happy and accept that I will have three boys. I truly feel like I have lost my daughter, even though she was never real. I can't let her go and it's tearing me apart. Thank you listening and I pray we can all find some peace that are struggling with GD.


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Welcome Dreams4violet 🌻 I'm sorry you are feeling heart broken right now. There is great info on this forum about ivf with pgd and lots of members who have done it and can share experiences. Did you sway for any of your pregnancies?

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Originally Posted by Dreams4Violet

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I am due with my third baby boy on April 2 (I will have a third c-section so it will be sometime during week 39). I have been feeling so heartbroken and angry since finding out I am having another boy. I know that my husband does not want anymore children but honestly one of the only things getting me through right now is thinking about doing IVF with PGD for a daughter in a couple of years- even though I know it is too expensive for us and my husband will refuse. I also don't know much about it as I just learned about it this weekend through research online. I just feel like I need something to give me hope. Just goes to show how futile and relentless hope can be. I don't know why I can't just be happy and accept that I will have three boys. I truly feel like I have lost my daughter, even though she was never real. I can't let her go and it's tearing me apart. Thank you listening and I pray we can all find some peace that are struggling with GD.


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Welcome Violet I'm so sorry, I'm going through the exact same thing and it is hard. I did HT this year but it didn't work for us, have fallen pregnant naturally with DS3, found out last week, I'm currently 13 weeks. My DH won't have anymore either I pushed for Bub 3 to try for a girl I can't push anymore. So I will never have a daughter.

At the moment I'm focusing on bubs name, decorating his nursery and clothes shopping that's getting me through the days. Hugs


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Welcome Dreams4violet :) Sorry you didn't get your desired gender :( This is the right place to get lots of support and also info about PGD if it becomes and option down the track.

This is DS2's nursery and the furniture I have to work with. The boys are now both in this room as it is bigger, otherwise I would have used it again as a nursery as I still love the monkey theme :)

I think I just about had the whole theme planned this time into my pregnancy with him but I'm not so sure what I will do this time.

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I love that Purple, my poor son never really got a nursery, he was in my room Co sleeping for the first year but really the first 3 years haha, and now he just bunks in with his sister in her room, its very girly and the other bedroom that the 2 older girls have is girly too. We really need an extra room now more than ever so he can finally have his own space.

Hello every one. Hope your well. Alot seems to have happened since I was here last!!! Might take a while to catch up. Welcome to the new members. I'm so sorry you are both joining the "sway opposite club" which to be honest nobody wants to join!!! I've got no internet at all so I'm getting online rarely. Hope everyone else is well.

I do hope you hear boy burk but at the same time, it would be great, but I don't want you crushed again. I'm the same as you and clinging into to a tiny hope. But if I let myself beleive for a moment I will fall so much harder.

It's so hard when it's all you want is this one thing, which is so achivable to most. Yet you feel its out of reach for you.

My sister inadvertently found out yesterday. I had an midwife check booked after a fall last week and my sister turned up out of the blue, unexpected. If course she pulled up and 5 mins later the midwife came. I had to tell her. She was less than impressed. Then when the midwife was asking about my scans etc and harmony. So my sister also heard the gender. That was it. The mood turned sour. With comments of "all this for nothing" " I can't beleive your going to have a 4th baby in your situation, and it's a girl" " are you stupid, did you really think you would have a boy" you get my drift. Very strained. She promised not to tell anyone but I don't trust her our relationship is poor and more duty, I am close to my brother although he lives away. So I had just started picking up and I'm knocked back down again. I've come to realise nobody will be remotely happy for us. It's partly our ages, the fact we have 3 kids, we're not struggling but we're not rich, I'm not working etc. And it being a girl. I know my sisters reaction would have been somewhat better had this been a boy.

Had anyone else faced less than happy relatives etc? Part of me thinks stuff them if they can't be happy etc but at same time it's hard when your down and agree with them xxx

I cried at my checkup yesterday. The midwife asked what I was having since it wasn't written down so I had to tell her boy and just started crying. For some reason saying it out loud is so hard, it's final and definite, no hope left that someone screwed up and it's a girl. Hadn't met her before so great first impression. By some miracle she has two boys and is done having kids so she could at least relate. It was still probably pretty shocking to her considering here she was telling me everything looked great at the anatomy scan and I have a healthy little baby, and there I was completely indifferent. She wants me to try therapy so I can start enjoying this pregnancy. I guess I could try a couple sessions, but I feel like it will be a waste of time and money


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Thank you to Cinss, Magical and Purple and any others I missed for the kind words and warm welcome! I think that is a good idea to focus on baby names and clothes. I keep trying to focus on what I do have (two healthy children and one on the way) and not what I don't (a baby girl). Sometimes that thinking helps and sometimes not. I actually did not sway at all with this pregnancy as it was not planned. Thank you all again, I'm glad that I found this group!


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Originally Posted by baby2016baby

Hello every one. Hope your well. Alot seems to have happened since I was here last!!! Might take a while to catch up. Welcome to the new members. I'm so sorry you are both joining the "sway opposite club" which to be honest nobody wants to join!!! I've got no internet at all so I'm getting online rarely. Hope everyone else is well.

I do hope you hear boy burk but at the same time, it would be great, but I don't want you crushed again. I'm the same as you and clinging into to a tiny hope. But if I let myself beleive for a moment I will fall so much harder.

It's so hard when it's all you want is this one thing, which is so achivable to most. Yet you feel its out of reach for you.

My sister inadvertently found out yesterday. I had an midwife check booked after a fall last week and my sister turned up out of the blue, unexpected. If course she pulled up and 5 mins later the midwife came. I had to tell her. She was less than impressed. Then when the midwife was asking about my scans etc and harmony. So my sister also heard the gender. That was it. The mood turned sour. With comments of "all this for nothing" " I can't beleive your going to have a 4th baby in your situation, and it's a girl" " are you stupid, did you really think you would have a boy" you get my drift. Very strained. She promised not to tell anyone but I don't trust her our relationship is poor and more duty, I am close to my brother although he lives away. So I had just started picking up and I'm knocked back down again. I've come to realise nobody will be remotely happy for us. It's partly our ages, the fact we have 3 kids, we're not struggling but we're not rich, I'm not working etc. And it being a girl. I know my sisters reaction would have been somewhat better had this been a boy.

Had anyone else faced less than happy relatives etc? Part of me thinks stuff them if they can't be happy etc but at same time it's hard when your down and agree with them xxx

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Baby good to hear from you, we have only told my mum about the pregnancy so far and she has not responded well. She just keeps going on about all the negatives and how am I going to cope. She also keeping going on about how my other children will suffer. It is really annoying, especially since my brother and his wife are having their first baby in Feb and my mum is so excited! To add to the annoyance she does not even help us with child care so it is not like it is more of a burden to her. We have not told me in law's, largely because in general they are critical and anxious people, not a good combination. I just am not feeling up to dealing with their negative, anxious comments at the minute.

So sorry your sister reacted like that, sending hugs, hope your ok x o