August 2ww and TTC thread 2018

Just left my OB for my DNC followup. Baby had trisomy 16. I’m so glad they didn’t tell me the gender I really could not have handled knowing. But she said I’m at a higher risk for it happening again which made me very nervous!! She seemed like it was a bad thing there was a chromosomal abnormality where I thought that was a good thing rather than baby having nothing wrong?! Now I’m just over here freaking out. I have two healthy boys which I am so grateful for.


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Originally Posted by kikurose

Just left my OB for my DNC followup. Baby had trisomy 16. I’m so glad they didn’t tell me the gender I really could not have handled knowing. But she said I’m at a higher risk for it happening again which made me very nervous!! She seemed like it was a bad thing there was a chromosomal abnormality where I thought that was a good thing rather than baby having nothing wrong?! Now I’m just over here freaking out. I have two healthy boys which I am so grateful for.


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I'm so sorry kikurose. I wish she would have provided comfort instead of worries. I've seen a few trisomy 18 and 13 babies, but I dont think 16. The reoccurrence sounded really off to me so I did some basic googling. It really does not suggest what your doctor told you at all. I would love for you to put your worries at ease and speak with a geneticist. I was very comforted knowing that my last pregnancy loss was chromosomal related and not me. I hope you find that comfort.

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Originally Posted by HGmama

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HG mama thank you so much! I’m not a crier but that brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so so much for looking that up!!!


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Originally Posted by HGmama

I'm so sorry kikurose. I wish she would have provided comfort instead of worries. I've seen a few trisomy 18 and 13 babies, but I dont think 16. The reoccurrence sounded really off to me so I did some basic googling. It really does not suggest what your doctor told you at all. I would love for you to put your worries at ease and speak with a geneticist. I was very comforted knowing that my last pregnancy loss was chromosomal related and not me. I hope you find that comfort.

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Thank you! Great idea on the geneticist. I was thinking it was comforting. So at my appointment I said I was relieved it was chromosomal. She replied that no it was bad news because more likely for chromosomal issues. So basically I got crushed [emoji30] I hadn’t read that anywhere but then she threw that at me☹️


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Doc is wrong, trisomies happen to people (you should see the number of our IVF/PGD gals who will have various trisomies and then several normal babies) just random chance. There are a minority, very small minority of people who do have recurrent chromosomal abnormalities but most losses are a)chromosomal and b)never happen again and are just sheer bad luck.

I’m sorry Kiku :(

I agree with Atomic though - very likely it was just bad luck! I had 3 consecutive miscarriages and I honestly believe now that they were all just random chromosomal problems- trisomies or triploidy or whatever. I had recurrent pregnancy loss testing after my 3rd and was checked for all kinds of other possible causes of my m/cs and everything came back normal, leading both my OB and specialist to conclude it was “just bad luck” (aka chromosome issues). And yet here I am, 15 weeks pregnant with two seemingly healthy twins :). Which is still insane to me after having all those losses!!

The one thing I was told over and over by all of my doctors is that by having had two healthy kids already, it was much more likely to be just random chromosome errors occurring at conception rather than a defect in DH’s or my chromosomes that would continue to cause the same chromosome problems. So with you having two healthy kids already, that would apply to you as well I’m sure!

As atomic and Pbn and others on here told me as I was going through my losses, it’s really about a good egg and a good sperm meeting and everything going “just right” in those earliest stages and unfortunately sometimes - to no fault of our own - that just doesn’t happen! Doesn’t make it any easier to experience I know. But your rainbow baby is coming - I know it!!!


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Pbn please don’t hold your breath! We all value you too much to lose you!!!

Well I woke up in tears from a dream where I was off visiting people whom we’ve lost contact with, explaining to them in tears why we’ve been so withdrawn. And my temp dropped from 36.98 yesterday to 36.3. I truly thought I could be pregnant.

It is time for me. Time for my boys. Time to be a wife & a mum. Time to live. To reconnect. I’m so sick of being in the outside looking in on my boys growing. It’s time to walk beside them holding their hands and kissing their faces.

Uncannily it was pretty much 3 years ago (we made our attempts on was likely my ov day this time) I started the physical side of a long planned sway journey. And the conception of my first loss. From their we threw ourselves into planning our HT, one round I promised, a round that was a challenge complete bust. Another round I begged.

He did everything again sacrificing himself to more work & our financial well-being to help me realise this dream in an attempt to get me back, to try and see me fulfilled & able to be again. Again a promise this is the last trip. Transfer didn’t take.

I have to go back and get her, & get her we did! She stuck. We lost her. My heart.

I threw myself into swaying, planning and trying again, it seems to be my method of coping. But coping isn’t a way to live. I’m not here in life. I’m missing out, they are missing out. And I am missing all those angel babies.

But at the same time I’m reluctant to stop. I WILL be MISSING you too! All of you wonderful ladies whom I’ve come to think of as friends. I will miss you all and I really hope that you all find your happy ever after.

I’ve kind of looked forward to life the last few days knowing that either way I wouldn’t be swaying anymore, but I just can’t bring myself to stop the diet, how do I stop? How do I give up, how do i tell myself it’s ok to never hold the baby I’ve dreamed of for so long?




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Thank you so much for all the reassurance, atomic and abc! It really means so much to me. I'm so grateful for this forum for support.

That makes sense that it's just random chance, I have no idea why she said that, but I am taking solace in your advice. And praying that a good egg and sperm can meet up here soon lol.

(I'm also probably going to switch OBs ha)

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Originally Posted by kikurose

Thank you so much for all the reassurance, atomic and abc! It really means so much to me. I'm so grateful for this forum for support.

That makes sense that it's just random chance, I have no idea why she said that, but I am taking solace in your advice. And praying that a good egg and sperm can meet up here soon lol.

(I'm also probably going to switch OBs ha)

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Oh kiku, I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re feeling reassured by all these wonderfully knowledgeable ladies, I seriously believe they know more than a professional any day.

Your rainbow baby is out there just waiting for he perfect time to surprise you xoxo


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