Due in April/May/June 2019

Had my scan today and after a lot discussing the pros and cons we decided to ask the tech if she could put the gender in an envelope for us so we could learn the gender when we were ready to.

We looked and we are having our 4th boy. I'm glad to know now and work through these feelings now as I really thought lo was a girl and I've never thought that before. With my DS1 had no feelings but with DS2 & DS3 I knew they were boys before the scan. So to have found out after delivery would've thrown me completely.

I'm sad and down about the gender right now but feel like I have to put on a happy face bc lo is healthy and growing and I have no reasons to be sad. Our boys won't be told and maybnothunderstabd why mom is sad. Also dh just doesn't know what to do when he sees me cry since I rarely ever do and I'm not sure he'd know what to say to comfort me.

I know this lo is our last lo and I will never be a mommy to a DD and I just need some time to process this I guess. I feel guilty for having these sad feelings and hope they go away sooner rather than later.

We decided we will not be sharing with family or friends and have chosen the path gafan did by telling people we are waiting when asked any gender questions. I don't feel like dealing some people's stupidity and annoying comments and he agreed.
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Originally Posted by Wishing4Pink'19

Had my scan today and after a lot discussing the pros and cons we decided to ask the tech if she could put the gender in an envelope for us so we could learn the gender when we were ready to.

We looked and we are having our 4th boy. I'm glad to know now and work through these feelings now as I really thought lo was a girl and I've never thought that before. With my DS1 had no feelings but with DS2 & DS3 I knew they were boys before the scan. So to have found out after delivery would've thrown me completely.

I'm sad and down about the gender right now but feel like I have to put on a happy face bc lo is healthy and growing and I have no reasons to be sad. Our boys won't be told and maybnothunderstabd why mom is sad. Also dh just doesn't know what to do when he sees me cry since I rarely ever do and I'm not sure he'd know what to say to comfort me.

I know this lo is our last lo and I will never be a mommy to a DD and I just need some time to process this I guess. I feel guilty for having these sad feelings and hope they go away sooner rather than later.

We decided we will not be sharing with family or friends and have chosen the path gafan did by telling people we are waiting when asked any gender questions. I don't feel like dealing some people's stupidity and annoying comments and he agreed.
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Well congratulations on a healthy baby but I’m so sorry it didn’t end up being the news you had hoped for. I think we can all understand your pain and it’s more than ok to feel down. Especially if you felt it was your girl.
It sounds like you made the right decision by finding out now so you can grieve rather than having the heartache after labour. I’ve read that for GD, in order to have closure, some moms choose to write a letter to the daughter they’ll never have and include all of the things you feel you will miss out on, and then go somewhere and burn the letter (symbolically letting go). Not sure if this sounds totally hokey to you but sometimes when I’m feeling down about possibly never getting to have a daughter, I write to “her” and express those feelings. I’m sure it’s not for some people, but for me it helps to at least get the feelings out.
I also wonder if it may help to talk to your hubby? Even if he may not know the exact thing to say, maybe his support would be soothing or helpful in some way? Even if he just understands where you are coming from - I know I cry to my husband all the time about how much I long for a girl. He doesn’t totally get it because he just prioritizes health but he feels my pain and just that alone helps me.
Obviously this is a very personal experience for you and I really hope the pain subsides for you soon. We are all here for you! <3

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wishing4Pink'19

Had my scan today and after a lot discussing the pros and cons we decided to ask the tech if she could put the gender in an envelope for us so we could learn the gender when we were ready to.

We looked and we are having our 4th boy. I'm glad to know now and work through these feelings now as I really thought lo was a girl and I've never thought that before. With my DS1 had no feelings but with DS2 & DS3 I knew they were boys before the scan. So to have found out after delivery would've thrown me completely.

I'm sad and down about the gender right now but feel like I have to put on a happy face bc lo is healthy and growing and I have no reasons to be sad. Our boys won't be told and maybnothunderstabd why mom is sad. Also dh just doesn't know what to do when he sees me cry since I rarely ever do and I'm not sure he'd know what to say to comfort me.

I know this lo is our last lo and I will never be a mommy to a DD and I just need some time to process this I guess. I feel guilty for having these sad feelings and hope they go away sooner rather than later.

We decided we will not be sharing with family or friends and have chosen the path gafan did by telling people we are waiting when asked any gender questions. I don't feel like dealing some people's stupidity and annoying comments and he agreed.
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I'm sorry you ddidnt hear girl. Give yourself permission to have all the feelings of sadness/loss/worry- nothing to feel guil about there. Hugs.

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Well, I found out I'm having a boy. I'm pretty surprised as I was fairly confident that it was a girl. I'm not happy about it, but disappointed isn't quite the right word... I think anxious is a better description.

See if I knew that my boy would not be on the autism spectrum and that he would not be super short (regular short is just fine), then I'd be just as happy for a boy as a girl; I already have a girl, so it's not that I have an unfullfilled girl desire.

BUT DH and I both have first degree male relatives on the spectrum, I'm 5'0 and DH is 5'4, and he hates his height. I'm fine with mine, because it's different for a woman to be short than for a man. Hope this doesn't offend anyone.

Best wish to all you ladies to get the gender you want.

im sorry you didnt hear girl MrsEnglish how has your dh reacted? i remember you saying about his brother and how its your dh who really doesnt want a boy. i hope you are both ok and that your little boy will light up your lives in ways you could never of imagined, the fact he got round what i consider to be one of the strongest pink tactics (1 attempt with AI) shows he is absolutely meant to be in your family :heart:

Oh man... sorry for the GD. I don't know yet what we are having because I'm pushing off hearing the inevitable. I have 5 boys and accepted I'm having another. Although hearing it for certain makes it sting and I'm not ready for it. I have a seriously tiny speck of hope that itll be a girl. Like 1% speck. But I'm enjoying that hope. After this baby there will not be a chance for hope. It is what it is. So these last few weeks I'm just enjoying not hearing the final penis sighting. But I do know the 99% chance of boy. And I started saving my youngest sons clothing again, I had stopped when thinking I was done. So part of me is accepting. There is still plenty of time to find out and i will by my next scan. Whenever that will be. I'm still working on the name and enjoying being pregnant. I did not choose one girls name, knowing that false hope is foolish. I'm really just so excited that I heard a heartbeat on my home doppler. That brought me incredible joy.

Hugs mommas. I have felt the gd pain many times over.

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Originally Posted by 4blue2pink

im sorry you didnt hear girl MrsEnglish how has your dh reacted? i remember you saying about his brother and how its your dh who really doesnt want a boy. i hope you are both ok and that your little boy will light up your lives in ways you could never of imagined, the fact he got round what i consider to be one of the strongest pink tactics (1 attempt with AI) shows he is absolutely meant to be in your family :heart:

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DH has a fully handicapped brother (severe autism), so that is the big reason he didn't want a boy. The second reason is because of his own height insecurities and the fact that a son probably won't be much taller than him since I'm also short.

DH and I both kinda kept our anxieties to ourselves after finding out, so no big meltdown or anything, we're trying to be optimistic. With my daughter I know that by four months old she was making good eye contact and laughing at our funny faces, so if/when this boy will do that, it will be a major relief.

Then I know that there's a way to predict adult height, you take a child's height at age two and double it, so that's a two year wait, but if we see DS is supposed to be at least 5'6/5'7, then it will be smooth sailing from there. Just based on my height and DH's height, DS is supposed to be 5'4/5'5, but we both have men in our families who are 5'8 or 5'9, so one one side there is hope of DS just being a little short, which would be absolutely fine. On the other hand, he could go the other way and be shorter than expected and be 5'2 or something and I think that would make life hard for a man.

I agree with you that it is meant to be.

Hi ladies! I hope all us of that are dealing with GD are doing ok processing our feelings. I'm coming around trying to embrace being a true boy mom and laughing off the comments that I get vs telling people off. Things like "4 boys you're going to have your hands full!" but I just laugh it off and say if I had 4 girls my hands would be just as full. Four kids no matter what their gender is a lot to handle but clearly this baby was meant to be here through being off the pill for 10 days to the bleeding episodes. I think my biggest issue now is people offering name suggestions. In my household all our names start with A even our dog (my only girl lol). DH is Algynon (Al), I'm Ashley, the boys are Ashton, Austin, and Aiden. I have the sole responsibility of naming this baby because DH and I made a bet that if it was a girl he would name her (because he was soooo sure it was a girl) and it was a boy I would name him. He did make one request that the name ends with a N because the other boys' names do, so I'm trying to take that into consideration. I have a name picked out he's not crazy about it but hey he lost the bet. You guys should here some of the name suggestions people have given me. I try to be nice to people and tell them oh ok I'll put that on the list when in actuality I would never name my child that. I'm just kind of tired of people offering but I hate to mean to people or telling people how I really feel I really should go to therapy for that. Does anyone else have a name picked out for LO yet?

Ahorn sorry to jump in here but wanted to offer a couple names after reading your post.... I'm really sorry as I can see you aren't enthusiastic about peoples input but cant myself [emoji2356]

Adrian
Alton
Aragorn (sorry for this but I'm a huuuuge LOTR fan!)
Aegon (again apologies as even bigger GOT fan!)
Athon
Aaeron
Aaron
Allan or Allen

There's more but I'll be quiet for now and leave these [emoji2356]


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Ahorn you guys are the A Team :D i love it!! hope you find the perfect name soon, there's a youtube mama i sometimes watch (funnily enough she's Ashley too) and all her kids have A names :)