Due Sept/Oct/Nov 2017 (2)

I actually cried a little at the mall yesterday. I just caught a glimpse of something girly I wanted to buy so bad, I teared up. I'm really struggling with the cycle of trying not to get my hopes up and then trying to hold out hope because this might be my last chance to really hope.

I don't think travelling for PGD is really something that we can reasonably afford to do, especially not with three kids at home. We wanted a third child, but a fourth without a guarantee isn't something I want to face.

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Originally Posted by foxtrotmama

I actually cried a little at the mall yesterday. I just caught a glimpse of something girly I wanted to buy so bad, I teared up. I'm really struggling with the cycle of trying not to get my hopes up and then trying to hold out hope because this might be my last chance to really hope.

I don't think travelling for PGD is really something that we can reasonably afford to do, especially not with three kids at home. We wanted a third child, but a fourth without a guarantee isn't something I want to face.

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I know exactly how you feel fox. I have 5 boys and my heart aches terribly.

I would love one more. Not sure if it will happen. HT in Cyprus is alot cheaper than US. Ive read a few of others journeys. Its still a big step though either way

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Sorry to hear that foxtrot... I'm in the same boat, I was in buying some maternity gear earlier with my boys and couldn't even look at all the baby girl stuff, I glimpsed over and my heart actually ached! I can't even face to look at any of it, I think this maybe a sign that I know deep down in my gut I am carrying my 4th boy 😢

And to make matters even worse I found out over the wknd that two of my best friends are expecting their 2nd girl .... I only want one!!!!! Everyone seems to be expecting girls so no doubt I'm pregnant with a boy! Such anxiety leading up to my scan on Thursday

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Originally Posted by amelia10

Sorry to hear that foxtrot... I'm in the same boat, I was in buying some maternity gear earlier with my boys and couldn't even look at all the baby girl stuff, I glimpsed over and my heart actually ached! I can't even face to look at any of it, I think this maybe a sign that I know deep down in my gut I am carrying my 4th boy [emoji22]

And to make matters even worse I found out over the wknd that two of my best friends are expecting their 2nd girl .... I only want one!!!!! Everyone seems to be expecting girls so no doubt I'm pregnant with a boy! Such anxiety leading up to my scan on Thursday

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I swear everyone I see/know is pregnant with a girl so now I'm worried I'll get a girl too lol so opposite boat for me!

I always ache looking at boy clothes or toys.. :/ from when I found out I was having a girl 2 and a half years till 11 weeks ago when we found out we were preggo! My gut says this is a boy, but I can't tell if it's just my hopes and wants getting in the way.. but it's made looking at the boy section somewhat fun for me at least for the time being.

Stay positive ladies! I have so much hope for all of us!


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Someone needs to balance out all the girls, Nann3r! Better the blue swayers than pink.

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Originally Posted by amelia10

Sorry to hear that foxtrot... I'm in the same boat, I was in buying some maternity gear earlier with my boys and couldn't even look at all the baby girl stuff, I glimpsed over and my heart actually ached! I can't even face to look at any of it, I think this maybe a sign that I know deep down in my gut I am carrying my 4th boy [emoji22]

And to make matters even worse I found out over the wknd that two of my best friends are expecting their 2nd girl .... I only want one!!!!! Everyone seems to be expecting girls so no doubt I'm pregnant with a boy! Such anxiety leading up to my scan on Thursday

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This is exactly how I feel. I have pretty much accepted this is a boy with all of my friends and family announcing girls lately. Really heartbroken and absolutely cannot even look at girl things. The thought of enduring the hardest part of then pregnancy (3rd trimester) and then the labor, to have another son is overwhelming to say the least. But the majority of the dread I feel centers around having to mount a happy face to family and friends about it all as well. I could barely do it last time, but to do it all over again is too much right now. It's emotionally exhausting.
After 24/7 obsessing for the last 3-4 years over planning my next pregnancy, my sway, actually swaying itself, and now enduring the pregnancy, this has been a long road. And it's devastating to realize it could all end in disappointment. And even more so now that this is our last child.

Sigh. Just trying to think of the positives. I'll find out in about 2 weeks.


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How many sons have you again wantanother? I've been researching/planning this sway also for the last 2.5/3 years ... I don't think I would have gone through with it if I'd know how anxious and stressed I would feel all the time about it. I wish I just focused on the 3 sons I have and get on with my life. And here I am again going through all the motions, waking up in the middle of the night stressed out!!

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I totally hear you ladies. I have wanted a son since the moment we found out we were pregnant for the first time over five years ago... I know that ache and the heartache of hearing the opposite gender two times. I so so love my girls, and sisters are amazing, as I am sure brothers are too.... it is harder when you wait years and see everyone else, or what it seems like... everyone else, getting the gender they so desire. I don't know what all of you believe, but I am trusting God knows the desires of our hearts. He is asking us to trust in the waiting, and believe that He is a Good Good Father. My oldest needed a sister and I see that now. I am asking and believing to finally have my own son. Hope you ladies have a wonderful day. Just my two cents
O

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Originally Posted by foxtrotmama

Someone needs to balance out all the girls, Nann3r! Better the blue swayers than pink.

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Fox hope that's not me lol
I admit it's the telling people it's another boy and their comments etc that upsets me more than the longing for a girl!
I'm ten weeks Thursday and apart from bloating and indegestion and sick feeling in eves I don't have symptoms now! A little worried [emoji30] but I'm getting scan on Thursday thank goodness. I also hoped I would be a lot sicker in hope it's a girl


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I have one son, 3 years old. We only wanted 1-2 kids. I knew I'd be disappointed if it was a boy, but I totally underestimated the despair I felt when I found out. My pregnancy was horrible and I had very dark thoughts. It took months after his birth to feel very connected.
We have a strong bond now, but thoughts of "what if I had a daughter first" pervade my thoughts daily.
We had to think long and hard about even swaying, as the last pregnancy was traumatizing for my husband and I both. (Him just watching me go through such depression)

I really wanted to just do PGD, but my husband refused. Now he already regrets that, even though the gender of this child is still unknown. He understands more the severity of my feelings. But what can we do now.

In some ways I'm better prepared to deal with the reality of not hearing girl, but in others I will feel even more despair since I know the horrors of my feelings to come, the many announcements I have to choke through, the slow bonding, the shame and guilt. And of course the finality of it all, this being our last child.

I honestly don't know how so many of you have suffered through GD with so many pregnancies. I feel for you and hope you get your dream genders!


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