Awesome April 2ww & TTC thread [emoji120]

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Originally Posted by Pbn3

Mummy2boys even though it's still early days temp wise when I look at your chart I straight away think 'pregnant!' Gosh I hope it's true fx fx fx!!!

Noemi that's alot of spotting... has it completely stopped now? Have you had an extended period like that before?

Emshe that spotting cd24!! Could easily be implantation related fx fx fx!!! I noticed you didn't have any spotting post o last cycle [emoji6]

Gafan I think its possible you may be 1 or 2dpo?? Sundays temp is an open circle, did you take it earlier than usual?



DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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I am hoping those temps indicate O. Sunday's temp was 98.22 F at 6:07 am, which was earlier than yesterday due having to get up to go to the bathroom. (At 7:12 a.m. this morning after another hour of sleep it was 98.40.) Yesterday I woke and tested at 6:37am and again at 7:05 (without getting out of bed)- 98.07.

I'm trying to keep the testing at the same time every day but accidentally waking up early is not helping! Tonight i will try to drink less. I test as soon as I wake before moving.

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Emshe - I am so sorry :( I was so hopeful for you this cycle too. I just don't understand why ttc has to be so much harder for some than it is others. I've had a lot of the same thoughts as you (and being scared of getting sick from the kids - OMG I'm a freak about that and drive my DH crazy!!). It's so draining and it does affect the rest of the family going through this. For days after my D&C I didn't want to even get out of bed. Thankfully my in-laws were in town at that time and took care of my boys - but my DS1 in particular has seen me sad and crying so many times in the past couple of months (and also seen a lot of my anger and temper, unfortunately) and DH and I really worry about the effect it's having on him. It just sucks. You've been through so much and it's just not fair. Take a break and please, please do not feel any guilt about anything you eat!! Please take good care of yourself, as much as you can - yes, your family needs you, but you can't take care of them if you aren't taking care of you (a mantra I repeat to myself quite often these days too!!!). If you decide to disappear from here of course we will all miss you so much but know we're still here whenever you need!!!

Gafan and Mummy - I have everything crossed for you!!!!

Wish I could give you the biggest hug emshe [emoji173] I understand completely about being so fed up living and breathing ttc and the feeling of life passing you by while you're stuck in this limbo of still wanting but not wanting. By all means do what you need to do to look after you and your beautiful family. We will miss you dearly xo. Maybe try and find a new passion (I applied for a couple casual jobs as I really wanted to reconnect again in that way with the world) If you can work towards accepting life how it is and maybe just not try, not prevent but live life like you're done with ttc. You need to be happy and all this is a terrible wait on your shoulders. Again, huge hugs [emoji173]

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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Originally Posted by ABC.2606

Emshe - I am so sorry :( I was so hopeful for you this cycle too. I just don't understand why ttc has to be so much harder for some than it is others. I've had a lot of the same thoughts as you (and being scared of getting sick from the kids - OMG I'm a freak about that and drive my DH crazy!!). It's so draining and it does affect the rest of the family going through this. For days after my D&C I didn't want to even get out of bed. Thankfully my in-laws were in town at that time and took care of my boys - but my DS1 in particular has seen me sad and crying so many times in the past couple of months (and also seen a lot of my anger and temper, unfortunately) and DH and I really worry about the effect it's having on him. It just sucks. You've been through so much and it's just not fair. Take a break and please, please do not feel any guilt about anything you eat!! Please take good care of yourself, as much as you can - yes, your family needs you, but you can't take care of them if you aren't taking care of you (a mantra I repeat to myself quite often these days too!!!). If you decide to disappear from here of course we will all miss you so much but know we're still here whenever you need!!!

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Oh my this about your son seeing things.... my boys have seen so much. Mine are turning 8 & 11 this year and have been by my side for all of it since the first loss in 2015 no one has known & so I’ve never reached out for help. My eldest sat beside me that first loss for a day with his head on my shoulder completely unaware of what had happened.

I talked to him about it all last year during the 2nd round of HT as he needed to understand. The losses absolutely gutted him. He was broken. But now even he sometimes says (even though he so wants a baby) Mum we don’t need another baby let’s just be us when he sees me sad.

Thank you for your thoughts ABC it helps so so much. & yes my husband hates my germphobia! And he doesn’t respond kindly which makes me sad he can’t understand why I’m so protective.

My kids ages also makes me question continuing, life is quite easy with them now, so independent....agh! There’s so many reasons against continuing but HOW do I give up on what I’ve dreamt of forever


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Originally Posted by Pbn3

Wish I could give you the biggest hug emshe [emoji173] I understand completely about being so fed up living and breathing ttc and the feeling of life passing you by while you're stuck in this limbo of still wanting but not wanting. By all means do what you need to do to look after you and your beautiful family. We will miss you dearly xo. Maybe try and find a new passion (I applied for a couple casual jobs as I really wanted to reconnect again in that way with the world) If you can work towards accepting life how it is and maybe just not try, not prevent but live life like you're done with ttc. You need to be happy and all this is a terrible wait on your shoulders. Again, huge hugs [emoji173]

DS 2012 [emoji170] DS 2014 [emoji170]
After 3 losses had DD 2018 [emoji178]

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Thank you so much Pbn, I know you’re right that’s the way I should possibly play it & I will try but I am a true boy mum in every sense of the control & planning freakiness! Think I’d have to chop my head off to overcome it [emoji6] actually my obsessive routine nature will make it very difficult to step away from these boards too!

I’d love to get a job in some ways, but after almost 11 years away I have lost so much confidence I wouldn’t know where to start.

Enjoy your baby girl & your family Pbn we all owe you so much gratitude for your continued advice & support






https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Originally Posted by Parying4agirl

Emshe it must be so difficult for what your going through and i wish u all the comfort. Have some time to yourself, stuff yourself and enjoy every min of it [emoji5]
Making these decisions are so so difficult but take each day as it comes and see how you feel. Like PP said maybe some time away for your mind/body to relax is what may help get your happy ending as i too have heard people get pregnant once they have ‘given up’ . Its an exhausting process, wishing you the best of health xx

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Thank you parying4agirl, I appreciate your kindness. I’ll try to enjoy it some time out


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Originally Posted by gafan

Hugs to you, emshe. And try to skip the self torture after chocolate and chips. Be kind to yourself as you make these difficult decisions.

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I will do my best gafan, thank you


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

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Originally Posted by Throwaway_panther

Oh honey, I am so sorry you're feeling all of that. I definitely understand completely and have thought this so many times. Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk. I know the "ghost" birthdays really weight heavy. Our next missed EDD is our wedding anniversary next month (and the last one was my birthday in February), and then literally it's almost nonstop loss due dates until 2019, including of our two XYs we transferred and lost. It's all so hard when even those days get bogged down in grief.

I have seen so many women "give up" on swaying or trying and falling pregnant with their DG. So you could try that? Maybe a break is what your body and mind need? But I also know there's the women who were "just about to give up" then fell pregnant with their DG.

It's so hard to know, and obviously we can't base our decisions off of what happened with other people. It's just so hard when we want something so bad and don't know if it's our own selves getting in our way of happiness :(

I'm here for you <3

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Thanks TP, so much to try to let go of, it’s certainly all the thinking that gets in the way of life for me. Just need to learn how to switch it off. I’ll try my best


https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35220b

Verena how are things?